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23.01.2022 Reading Elaine Aron’s wonderful book The Highly Sensitive Person, I came across this research. The study highlighted the differing traits that made children more popular in different cultures. It revealed Chinese children to naturally value shyness more than Canadian children. In fact, the ‘sensitive’ children in the Chinese sample were chosen above the other children for friendships. This led me think about the traits of highly sensitive people and what we might b...e missing out on as a culture. Are HSPs being naturally marginalised due to our value systems in the West? What would our schools look like if we really valued the shy, sensitive children? Remembering that HSPs often struggle to do things when they are watched, they are likely to struggle to be seen, to find it harder than non-HSPs to give lectures, to be filmed, to give keynote speeches etc. I wonder how much we are missing out on as a society. If our HSPs grow up feeling that there is something wrong with them and they are innately flawed, we miss out on all their gifts. HSPs are often artists, actors, writers, therapists, counsellors, teachers, and nurses. HSPs are often involved in social activism and feel a strong sense of social responsibility. These are things we need now in our societies. If you are an HSP and have ever been told you are too much, too sensitive, or too shy, know that you are highly sensitive and that is okay. Your needs are a bit different to 20% of the population and that is okay. Know that you have amazing gifts to give the world. The world needs you to be you. You are perfect just as you are. Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. Chen, X., Rubin, K., & Sun, Y. (1992). Social Reputation and Peer Relationships in Chinese and Canadian Children: A Cross-Cultural Study. Child Development, 63(6), 1336-1343. doi:10.2307/1131559 #mentalhealthcounseling #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #onlinecounseling #mentalhealthprofessionals #seekhelp #therapyworks #onlinetherapist #talkingtherapy

23.01.2022 A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) as described by Elaine Aron in her book The Highly Sensitive Person is someone who is more sensitive to subtleties of the environment, has a more sensitive nervous system and more active insula (the part of the brain thought to be the centre of overall awareness). She estimates that 15-20% of the population is highly sensitive, and as such these people have slightly different needs to the other 80%. The most important part of self-ca...re for HSP’s is to stop pushing yourself in the belief that you ‘should’ be less sensitive, or that you ‘should’ be different to how you are. Your nervous system is more sensitive to many other people, so you will need different boundaries. It is okay to: Need more sleep To feel things more deeply To have a strong inner knowing that nobody else can understand To limit your time at social functions To not watch scary movies To avoid caffeine and stimulating foods To say ‘no’ when you feel overwhelmed ______ Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. #anxietyhelp #innerchild #meditation #awakening #spiritualawakening #awakenings #meditations #meditationpractice #higherawakening #therapy #selfcare #selflove #wellbeing

22.01.2022 The simple answer is YES! With time and focus you CAN widen your window of tolerance. Why is this a good thing? It increases your resilience and keeps your prefrontal cortex (the part responsible for cognitive processing) switched on for more of life’s big and little traumas. Dissociated, or cut off emotions can be de-frosted and re-integrated into the psyche. ... This means a gradual increase in the range of emotions that are tolerable without the prefrontal cortex switching off and going into hyper or hypo arousal. With time, you will be able to deal with stress in a much healthier way. How can I widen my window of tolerance? The key is being able to make contact with strong emotions without becoming so overwhelmed that they cannot be integrated. The safest way to do this is with the help of a trained professional, such as a counsellor or a psychotherapist. They will be able to help increase your emotional regulation and widen your window of tolerance, thus increasing your resilience. If you would like to start this work, know that I am available for one-on-one sessions online globally, or in person in Sydney. Link in bio. I hope this series has been useful. ______ References Ogden, P. (2009). Modulation, mindfulness, and movement in the treatment of trauma-related depression. Pat. Siegel, D. (1999). The developing mind. New York: Guilford. #windowoftolerance #dansiegel #ogden #patogden #healing #selfhealers #healtogether #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #psychology #psychotherapy #counselling #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters

20.01.2022 Research has proven the benefits of self-awareness. It has been linked to performance at work and is one of the strongest predictors of personal and organisational success and satisfaction. Dr Tasha Eurich @tashaeurich has conducted extensive research into self-awareness. She says that 95% of people believe they are self-aware, but only 10% - 15% actually are! It makes sense, that more we know ourselves, the more we will know our needs and get our needs met, we will m...ake better decisions for ourselves and in the long run our self-esteem will increase. When I think about the times I have really learnt about myself, most of them are times I have been under a lot of stress or been challenged in some way. For example, I know from previous medical experiences that when my body is under stress, I go deeply inward to care for myself and keep myself together. So, I knew when I gave birth that I would probably not want to be touched. I was able to let my husband know that was likely to be the case and I was able to forewarn him. I was right, after a certain stage, I wanted him there, but I didn’t want to be touched. In the long run, having this kind of self-awareness is incredibly helpful in relationships, we are able to explain our tendencies and quirky habits to people close to us, so they can understand us more and we can get our needs met more easily. ______ QUESTION What might you do today to increase your self-awareness? Let’s share some ideas. I’m going to ask for feedback from someone I trust. _____ Reference Eurich, T. (2019). What Self-Awareness Really Is (and How to Cultivate It). [online] Harvard Business Review. Available at: https://hbr.org//what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to- [Accessed 24th November 2020]. See more

17.01.2022 A Highly Sensitive Person as described by Elaine Aron in her wonderful book The Highly Sensitive Person is someone who is more sensitive to subtleties of the environment, has a more sensitive nervous system and more active insula (the part of the brain thought to be the centre of overall awareness). Some of the burdens of being an HSP are feeling a LOT, sometimes being overwhelmed by chaotic situations, having an extreme aversion to loud noises, and having a complex an...d deep inner life. As an HSP you make up about 15-20% of the population, so you may feel as though you have spent most of your life being told you are too sensitive and to get over it. As an HSP it is important to stress the gifts in your sensitivity. HSPs have been shown to have a deeply rich inner life, they are more attuned to the beauty of life, nature and of the arts. They are frequently spiritual people, not necessarily religious, but they have a sense of something greater than themselves. HSPs frequently report having a personal relationship with God, experiencing meaningful dreams, meeting angels or spirit guides. Aron (2016) goes one step further to think of HSPs as the modern-day priests and prophets. That there were certain roles that would have been filled by HSPs in days gone by. I wonder where HSPs are in your life. If you are an HSP how do you nurture the spiritual side of yourself? I’d love to hear in the comments. Xx Jen Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. #mentalhealth #psychology #relationships #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #counselling #mentalhealthsupport #positivepsychology #healing #anxiety #depression #anxietyrelief #psychotherapy

16.01.2022 Highly sensitive people have a more sensitive nervous system, they are just born that way. Studies have shown that they use different parts of the brain in different ways to non-HSPs. One of the effects of this different way of gathering and processing information is a sense of being more intuitive. HSPs seem more intuitive because they naturally absorb more information in the environment than non-HSPs. When they receive information, they will often need to proc...ess it deeply and ‘feel into’ the right answer for them. Sometimes they can’t explain the reasoning for their answer, it just feels right. For some of you, this might be sounding a bit airy. But for those of you who are the HSPs reading this, you know what I am talking about. I am talking about the knowing you have when you make an important decision. The pause to ‘listen’ inwardly when you are unsure. I have a feeling quite a lot of you reading this will know EXACTLY what I am talking about. Drop an emoji if this is you. I see you. Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. #mentalhealth #psychology #relationships #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #counselling #mentalhealthsupport #positivepsychology #healing #anxiety #depression #anxietyrelief #psychotherapy

16.01.2022 Research has shown that highly sensitive people (HSPs) have a heightened sensitivity to how others are feeling, AND a tendency to feel the way the other person is feeling. So, if someone they love is sad, they have a tendency to empathise and feel sad too. Or if they are around happy people, they will have a stronger tendency to ‘catch’ the happiness. Having a strong capacity for empathy is one of the reasons many HSP end up in service roles. They enjoy careers where the...y can use their natural empathy to its fullest, such as in teaching, nursing, as a therapist, or a veterinary nurse. Being an HSP is neither good or bad, but it might mean you need to have different boundaries with your time and your energy to other people. Being an empath can be exhausting. It is prudent to know when and with whom and for how long you feel energised and when you feel depleted. Boundaries are a vital part of your self-care as a highly sensitive person. Having boundaries around what you do often involves having to say ‘no’ to some things. This can sound like: I have been feeling pretty tired lately, I feel I need to rest tonight I can come for 2 hours, then I will need to leave I don’t answer my phone after 7pm It can be difficult for HSPs to say ‘no’ because they face the disappointment of the other person. Boundaries are usually a constant work in progress for highly sensitive people. Let me know with a ‘yep’ if this is you in the comments. _________ Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. #therapistsofinstagram #mentalhealthsupport #emotionalwellbeing #mentalwellbeing #healthyboundaries #emotionalhealth #mentalhealthtips #mentalwellness #onlinetherapy #traumahealing #psychotherapy #psychotherapist

15.01.2022 As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) your nervous system is more attuned to the environment than other people. This means you will have a stronger sensitivity to loud noises and smells, you will probably be deeply moved by art and poetry and find that you process events deeply. Aron (2016), estimates that 15-20% of the population is an HSP. Being HSP is no better or worse than not being an HSP, they are just different, and for an HSP growing up in a family of non-HSPs it ...can be a deeply painful and invalidating experience. It is very common for HSP’s to hear: Are you still going on about THAT? Get over it You really are too sensitive That is too loud for you??? Over time, they often develop a sense of being flawed. That there is something wrong with them. They will then often try to change their natural way of being to avoid making others uncomfortable. Because HSPs know when they are making others uncomfortable. That is one of their gifts. The key is to know that your experience IS valid and IS NORMAL for HSPs. This is the time to look back at your life and begin re-framing some of the big events in your life. Was it that you were ‘too sensitive’ or was it that you were ‘more sensitive’ than others and had different experiences and needs to others in your family? Here are some things to journal if you feel like it: How did my family respond to my traits as an HSP? How did my friends respond to my traits as an HSP? How did I see myself as a child who was an HSP? How does the culture I live in value or not value the HSP? Let me know if this resonates. Xx Jen Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. #mentalhealth #psychology #relationships #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #counselling #mentalhealthsupport #positivepsychology #healing #anxiety #depression #anxietyrelief #psychotherapy

09.01.2022 When parents are INCONGRUENT children learn: To doubt their version of reality. To not trust themselves and even things they see and hear. that people are not honest or safe.... When parents are CONGRUENT children learn: To trust themselves. To trust other people. How to own up to their mistakes. To tell the truth. Parental congruence is an important part of the emotional intelligence learning process for children. It is so easy, as a parent, to deny things that are real because they are too difficult to explain, because you might share with your child and cry through the whole sharing. It is okay for your child to see you cry; it can be a relief for them to know that their parent also has strong feelings. It is powerful for a child to witness how a healthy parent feels and expresses their emotions, and how they come back from those strong feelings. This is how children learn healthy self-regulation. Much love, Jen See more

08.01.2022 Self-awareness is about getting to know yourself in an open, non-judgemental way. Most us fall down right here. We might be self-aware, but we are incredibly judgemental in the process. The trick with self-awareness is to enter any self-examination or reflection with COMPASSION. For example, with the first journaling question, ‘What triggers you?’ You might think, ‘I am triggered by my mother telling me I have put weight on’, and then go into a shame spiral because you h...ave put weight on, and you are unhappy about it. Compassion would say: I am triggered by my mother telling me I have put weight on because she used to shame me about my weight in front of my friends as a child. When she comments on my weight, I feel horrible. Yes, I have put on a little weight, but it is not that much, and I can easily get fitter if I choose to. Taking time to self-reflect and journal allows for more self-awareness. When we are aware, we are more able to make changes that support us, we are more able to align our actions with our values. If you decide to journal these questions take a picture and tag me @psychotherapy.central __________ #therapistsofinstagram #selfhealers #psychology #psychotherapy #empathy #mentalhealthmatters #selfhealers #healingjourney #meditation #therapistsofinstagram #traumatherapy #therapy #eq #therapyiscool #selfregulation #sydneycounsellor #sydneytherapist #therapyworks #psychoeducation #journalling #selfawareness #compassion See more

07.01.2022 If you are in relationship with a highly sensitive person (HSP), then this post is for you. An HSP as described by Elaine Aron in her book The Highly Sensitive Person is someone who is more sensitive to subtleties of the environment, has a more sensitive nervous system and more active insula (the part of the brain thought to be the centre of overall awareness). She estimates that 15-20% of the population is highly sensitive, and as such these people have slightly d...ifferent needs to the other 80%. Growing up, HSPs have usually been made to feel ‘too sensitive’ and have developed a sense of being somehow ‘flawed’, which sends them further into themselves. As a result, they may have learned to hide their true feelings and inadvertently give out mixed messages. When HSPs feel overwhelmed, it can come on quite suddenly. It may have been bought on by feeling hungry, or there being too much chaos in their environment, or a combination of factors. They may seem to be fine one minute, and the next have to leave where they are almost immediately. This can seem odd if for you very little just changed. In such circumstances it is wonderful if you can help them get what they need. That is probably a quiet space and something to eat in this example. It is a gift to them if you can allow for their high sensitivity without judging them. They feel the judgement and impatience. In relationship, you are likely to find that the HSP is very sensitive to your needs, it is a gift if in return you can be sensitive to their needs. If you would like to learn more about HSPs I highly recommend Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Person. ________ Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. #psychotherapy #healingjourney #healingenergy #anxietyhelp #innerchild #meditation #awakening #spiritualawakening #awakenings #meditations #meditationpractice #higherawakening #therapy #selfcare #selflove #wellbeing

06.01.2022 Self-awareness is awareness of the self, rather than the external environment. It is a process of assessing how you are aligning to your own internal ideals and values. It is also the ability to know how your actions impact others. Self-awareness is positively correlated with higher levels of happiness and is something you can practice and increase. As a therapist it is my job to help people become more self-aware and curious about themselves. This is kind of easy fo...r me, because I have been curious about this in myself ever since I can remember. Someone once asked me if I thought being self-reflective was indulgent. For me it is not. For me, being self-reflective is part of being human. It is part of being a responsible human. I value self-awareness, so I need to be self-reflective if I am to have self-awareness. I find value in reflecting on my words and action, feeling into my triggers, and knowing how my history impacts me when I am stressed. When I know myself, I am kinder, I am more able to pause in the moment, to know my emotions and my triggers and make informed decisions. For me, self-awareness did not arrive overnight and suddenly I was totally self-aware. Not at all! For me, self-awareness is an unending journey into myself. It is like getting to know myself as my own best friend. I am curious and aware. I still surprise myself; I still get disappointed in myself; I still feel proud of myself. When I imagine a world of self-aware, self-reflective people, I imagine a softer, more peaceful, healthier planet. Let me know what you think about this. _______ #selfhealers #psychology #psychotherapy #empathy #mentalhealthmatters #selfhealers #healingjourney #meditation #therapistsofinstagram #traumatherapy #therapy #eq #therapyiscool #parenting #selfregulation #sydneycounsellor #sydneytherapist #therapyworks #psychoeducation #selfawareness #spiritualwork See more

06.01.2022 Cultivating emotional intelligence and empathy in our children has been shown to contribute to more robust relationships, added depth of love, stronger friendships, better communication and collaboration and ability to connect to our common humanity. A powerful practice as a parent is to point out the connections between events and emotions. For example:... When Roro (our cat) died, I was shocked at first and then felt very sad. It was like losing an old friend. When I told daddy, he was also very sad, and you saw him cry too. For example: When you tripped just now, you got a big fright. You called for me and I came. When I arrived, we gave each other a big hug and you had a big cry. You weren’t hurt, but you were shocked by the fall, and I understand that. It is okay to have a cry when you get a big fright, sometimes I do that too. I am here for you. This is modelling empathy for the child. You are entering their world and having compassion for their experience. If this is useful for you, please share. Much love, Jen ______ #selfhealers #psychology #psychotherapy #empathy #mentalhealthmatters #selfhealers #healingjourney #meditation #therapistsofinstagram #traumatherapy #therapy #eq #therapyiscool #parenting #selfregulation #sydneycounsellor #sydneytherapist #therapyworks #psychoeducation See more

04.01.2022 The term ‘highly sensitive person’ was first coined in 1996 by Dr. Elaine Aron. Being a highly sensitive person is not a diagnosis, it is a trait that comes from having a sensitive nervous system. It is hereditary and has been validated in several studies. What is it like to be an HSP? As an HSP the world can feel overwhelming. Bright lights, loud noises, itchy fabrics can be incredibly disturbing. For me, I have found the subtleties of relationship particularly inte...nse. I have always been hyper aware of other people’s feelings. The tiniest nuance in the face or bodily shift, would seem to reveal to me how someone was feeling, even a stranger across a crowded room. I seemed to be able to scan a room and know which people needed something. Who was feeling uncomfortable, who was a bit drunk, who was flirting with who. In one brief look across a crowded room there was always a lot of information to process. For non-HSPs this probably sounds ludicrous. But this is how the world has always been for me. Mostly I have learned to balance the intensity out with time alone. I like to go out and have fun, and I LOVE to be alone. When I am alone there is so much less sensory information to have to process. On the upside, I think being an HSP makes me a better therapist. I am naturally attuned to the subtle shifts in my clients. I am used to receiving and processing a lot of data all at once both verbally and non-verbally. For me, when I am with a client, I feel like I am listening in multiple ways. I am listening to what is being said, and I am listening to the person’s being. What is their body saying to me, what is their inner child saying, what else is coming through in this moment in other ways? I wonder how many other people are like this? Does this resonate with you? _____ Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. Boterberg S, Warreyn P. Making sense of it all: The impact of sensory processing sensitivity on daily functioning of children. Pers Individ Differ. 2016;92(2):80-86. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2015.12.022 Craig AD (2009). How do you feel--now? The anterior insula and human awareness. Nature reviews. Neuroscience, 10 (1), 59-70 PMID: 19096369 #mentalhealth #psychology #relationships #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #counselling #mentalhealthsupport #positivepsychology #healing #anxiety #depression #anxietyrelief #psychotherapy #healingjourney

04.01.2022 When we are in hypoarousal we have started to numb and dissociate. To help yourself when you are on this end of the spectrum, you need to stimulate the senses and get back into your body. One way to do this is to look around the room and notice: 5 things you can see... 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste I like to do this with some deep belly breathing. I find long, slow breaths help to calm me down and to feel connected to my body. I then do the exercise above. If you experience hypoarousal, I’d love to hear what helps to bring you out of that state. Drop a message in the comments. ______ References Ogden, P. (2009). Modulation, mindfulness, and movement in the treatment of trauma-related depression. Siegel, D. (1999). The developing mind. New York: Guilford. #windowoftolerance #dansiegel #ogden #patogden #healing #selfhealers #healtogether #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #psychology #psychotherapy #counselling #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters See more

03.01.2022 Hypoarousal is another defence mechanism. It feels like exhaustion, numbness, feeling disconnected from everything and everyone, like you are in a dream. You may want to sleep a lot, eat little and feel quite numb and dissociated. It can be very difficult to process information when you are in this state, or even hear what someone is saying. It is difficult for healing to occur when we are in hypo or hyper arousal. We need to be within our ‘window of tolerance’ where th...e prefrontal cortex is switched on and our cognition is online. Different self-regulation tools can help you to stay within your personal window of tolerance. The body has a natural pull towards homeostasis and will want to pull us back into the window of tolerance and out of this numbness. One way we do this is to do things that make us feel alive. These could be dangerous things, so it is important to learn healthy ways to ‘wake us up’ and bring us out of hypoarousal and back into our personal window of tolerance. The goal of therapy is to expand the window of tolerance without becoming dysregulated and going into hypo or hyperarousal. When we are learning to self-regulate, it is about finding what works for YOU. When you are hypoaroused (shut down), what gets you moving? Some ideas coming tomorrow. _____ References Ogden, P. (2009). Modulation, mindfulness, and movement in the treatment of trauma-related depression. Pat. Siegel, D. (1999). The developing mind. New York: Guilford. #windowoftolerance #dansiegel #ogden #patogden #healing #selfhealers #healtogether #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #psychology #psychotherapy #counselling #counsellingworks #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #anxietyproblems

03.01.2022 Anyone can feel overwhelmed for any reason, but for ‘highly sensitive people’ (HSP), overstimulation can quickly lead to overwhelm. As an HSP your nervous system is more attuned to the environment than other people. This means you will have a stronger sensitivity to loud noises and smells, you will probably be deeply moved by art and poetry and find that you process events deeply. Aron (2016), estimates that 15-20% of the population is an HSP. Being an HSP is no better ...or worse than not being an HSP, they are just different. HSPs have a more sensitive nervous system then 80% of the population. It takes less for them to become overwhelmed and need to go somewhere quiet. It could be a trip that goes on for too long, a party that never seems to finish or having to pass intense road works. It happens when we leave the comfortable range for OUR particular nervous system. Remember, if we are having to process much more information much more deeply than everyone else, it makes sense it will take up more energy and there is more likely to be a shutdown of some kind. HSPs also feel other people’s emotions and moods deeply and they can find it draining to be around people who are emotionally stressed for long periods of time. For all of these reasons it is important that HSPs learn to self-care when feeling overstimulated. I hope you all find the ideas in the tile useful. Jen ________________ Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. #mentalhealth #psychology #relationships #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #counselling #mentalhealthsupport #positivepsychology #healing #anxiety #depression #anxietyrelief #psychotherapy

02.01.2022 It is estimated that 15-20% of the population is highly sensitive. There is even a scale to measure it! (Benham, 2006). One of my clients introduced me to Elaine Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Person. I went online to find out more took her short test and knew from the questions that I needed to learn more. (Here is the link to the test: https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/). In her book, Elaine Aron has 23 true or false questions as a self-test to ...identify if you are a highly sensitive person. I am a strong YES in 17/23 and ambivalent about the others. She says if you score 12 or more that you are likely to be highly sensitive. One of the statements was being very hungry creates a strong reaction is me, disrupting my concentration or mood (p. xxxiv). When I read this out loud my husband burst out laughing. This is a joke in my family. I carry food around with me in my handbag just in case I get caught somewhere with no food. I read the list to my husband to gauge his responses. maybe everyone will score high. He scored 5. I don’t drink coffee; it makes me clean the house for hours (some might think this is a good thing. but in my case not, there is a frantic rush and then I collapse and need to sleep). I don’t watch horror movies (I still have ‘Scream’ from 15 years ago imprinted in my mind never again). I plan my weekends in blocks. Blocks when I am with my family, blocks with friends and large blocks when I am alone at home and have no plans. I know from past experience that if I spend all weekend with friends and family that I leave the weekend feeling tired and unfulfilled. I just need a different balance to some other people. For me, reading her book was a huge relief. There are other people who experience the world in the same way as me! Is this you? _____ Reference Aron, E. N. (2016). The Highly Sensitive Person. NY, New York; Random House. Grant Benham, The Highly Sensitive Person: Stress and physical symptom reports, Personality and Individual Differences, Volume 40, Issue 7, 2006. #mentalhealth #psychology #relationships #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #counselling #mentalhealthsupport #positivepsychology #healing