Relationship Issues Vivian Baruch in Faulconbridge, New South Wales | Medical and health

Relationship Issues Vivian Baruch

Locality: Faulconbridge, New South Wales

Phone: +61 421 961 687

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• Medical and health
• Mental health service
• Marriage therapist

24.01.2022 Self-care & self-soothing. Self-care and self-soothing are both important skills to nurture. Self-soothing is what you do to calm down and reset when youre upset. Self-soothing looks like:... Taking a 20-minute break from a conflict conversation. Breathing mindfully to reduce physiological overwhelm. Noticing tension in your body and releasing it. Self-care is what you do preventatively, to keep from getting upset. Self-care looks like: Taking regular time to recharge. Spending time with people who lift you up and give you energy. Doing activities that you enjoy and find restorative. If you dont take care of yourself, you risk operating with a shorter fuse when conflict arises. The more self-care you do, the less you will need to employ self-soothing. https://www.gottman.com/marriage-minute/

24.01.2022 The only way to accomplish anything is through the action of repetition - my paraphrase of Zig Ziglar's quote below.

23.01.2022 Cisgender men may struggle with intimacy because the way they were raised & the way our culture socialises them is the opposite what is needed for true intimacy. There is a way out! Seek out a relationship coach/counsellor who is competent in helping you step into deep relational intimacy with your partner.

22.01.2022 Great 30 second video by the Ohio Department of Health to show how social distancing works. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4PnSYAqQHU&feature=youtu.be

21.01.2022 I've been providing online relationship coaching for couples since December 2015 and online relationship coaching for individuals since 2010. Please check out https://bit.ly/2xKWTXh and https://bit.ly/39Fpg6v

21.01.2022 Grief, like many emotions, is a healthy response to unhealthy behaviours or circumstances. Grief inspires us to take action. Action leads to agency - a sense of being able to do something to change our circumstances. Trauma is the exact opposite. It results from stuck emotions which are suppressed or avoided. This make us feel helpless and vulnerable. Get help so you learn to deal effectively with emotions. Then you can reclaim your power. https://youtu.be/x_oo8yFj9h0

20.01.2022 The Myth That Sex Should Be Spontaneous. Successful Relationships May newsletter out now https://bit.ly/3ekm6Yu .Many people believe the myth that sex should be spontaneous. This myth goes hand-in-hand with its twin the fantasy that sexual compatibility is an instant fit and that sex is supposed to be easy, tension-free and uninhibited. These combined fantasies drive the myth that sexual spontaneity and compatibility are either there or not there, right from the start, and that they continue throughout a relationship.

20.01.2022 In all our relationships, we are constantly cycling through harmony, disharmony, and repair. Where you are in the cycle largely depends on if you're in your functional adult self or your adaptive child self.

19.01.2022 Adapting sound sexual health principles to COVID. Very smart.

19.01.2022 It is the moments of disruption, tension, and disharmony that provide us the opportunity to grow. Do you stay in your functional adult or resort to inner child?

17.01.2022 Melinda Gates 17 minute video: Three barriers that hold women back | BookTube. We must continue to work towards equality for women world wide. A shocking prediction by the World Economic Forum states that it will take 208 years for gender equa;ity to be reached in the United States! What does this mean for women in second & third world countries?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpIc-rKMUYc

15.01.2022 Real love starts with you. In order to attract a life partner and build a healthy intimate relationship, you must first become a good partner to yourself. "Loving Bravely" offers twenty invaluable lessons that will help you explore and commit to your own emotional and psychological well-being so you can be ready, resilient, and confident in love. In Loving Bravely, psychologist, professor and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon introduces the idea of relational self-awareness, encouraging you to explore your personal history to gain an understanding of your own relational patterns, as well as your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B01CFGRHHA

15.01.2022 6 Predictors of Relationship Happiness. Successful Relationships March newsletter out now https://bit.ly/3avRaTJ As much as we may want relationship happiness, relationships dont come with a lifetime guarantee. Anyone who has been in a failed relationship will agree that finding an ideal partner can be a long process. This is very different from the unrealistic stories fed to us by romantic songs, books, movies and TV shows. The truth is: not everyone can be wonderful all the time. We all have flaws and weaknesses. We all make mistakes and are going to disappoint our partners at some time... Read more https://bit.ly/3avRaTJ

14.01.2022 In this 41 minute video Terry Real explains that we recreate the relationships that we learned - how we were held as children - and that there is no intimacy without equality. His Relational Life Therapy, has a golden rule for successful relating: What can I give you to help me come through for you? What do you need from me? Terry's approach is one of the core foundations of my work with couples, after they complete the Gottman Relationship Checkup to uncover the strengths as well as the weak spots in their relationship. https://youtu.be/KLm06v0rpTE

13.01.2022 There are three things that MUST be dealt with before a person can truly be intimate with their partner: 1. Untreated psych disorders 2. Serious self medication (drinking, drugs, porn, etc.) 3. Acting out sexually or aggressively.

13.01.2022 There are many ways out of this negative cycle. Reach out for help. You don't have to do this alone!

12.01.2022 During a pandemic, look what's happened to online dating. Actually talking to people! How revolutionary. https://bit.ly/3cmf1WZ

12.01.2022 Dr. Paul Joannides' new video. He's a psychoanalyst, a wonderful sex educator & author. https://youtu.be/s48awNfG8Pk

11.01.2022 Dr. Richie Davidson clearly articulates his team's research on the 4 challenges facing society - distractibility, loneliness, negative self-talk/depression, loss of meaning/purpose - and how to remedy them. By training our minds we can experience the four pillars of a healthy mind - awareness, connection, insight and purpose. How mindfulness changes the emotional life of our brains https://www.ted.com//richard_j_davidson_how_mindfulness_ch

11.01.2022 Relational skills must be taught, learnt & practiced so they become our new normal.

11.01.2022 Share your story. Help change the system. Whatever the benefits of social media, they aren’t worth the costs. After watching The Social Dilemma, over 40 million people worldwide are now aware of how social media harms us, and a powerful movement for change is growing. https://socialtruth.humanetech.com/

10.01.2022 Healthy human connection is critical for humans to flourish. Clinical psychologist Dr Wendy Walsh looks at relationships through the combined lenses of evolutionary psychology, attachment theory & neuroscience. Although this 7 minute video focuses on dating & how women can learn how to make good choices, her work is useful in love, marriage, parenting, and workplace dynamics. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmX8PhAzzgE&feature=youtu.be

10.01.2022 How insidious, constant cultural messages to men undermine their sense of who they are. No wonder there's so much confusion about who we are & should be instead of what we think, feel & need according to our internal signals. And these messages totally omit people who don't fit in to this either/or gender identity! https://www.theguardian.com//why-be-a-man-is-a-dangerous-p

10.01.2022 Our primitive brain in relationship - the new science. Biology has played a cruel trick on your relationship. Although your partner thinks youre responsible for most of the troubles between you, its not you. Its your biology. To be more accurate, its the primitive parts of our brain. These are our reptilian brain and our mammalian brain/ limbic system. They work so closely together that together theyre called the primitive brain parts within us. Successful Relationships January newsletter out now https://bit.ly/2RfyErp

09.01.2022 Another useful tip from Terry Real.

08.01.2022 Self-soothing and self-care in relationship. I think these are such important topics when you are working on improving your relationship. Successful Relationships November newsletter out now https://vivianbaruch.com//self-soothing-and-self-care-in-/ Too many people work so hard at getting things right with their partners, that it becomes their only focus. They forget about themselves. They forget that a good relationship takes teamwork. You can’t have a good team if the in...dividual team members aren’t looking after themselves. Members of any team (think sports teams) have to train their bodies and minds; they can’t rely on their team members to do their training for them. In relationship, if you don’t practice self-soothing and self-care, you will not be in a fit state to be relational. You’ll be reactive instead of responsive and immoderate instead of moderate.

08.01.2022 To add to federal member of parliament Nicolle Flints (https://twitter.com/i/status/1287638608753471488) & Alexandria Ocasio-Cortezs (https://youtu.be/gkQ4DBvjXw8) powerful statements about the endemic sexism in our so-called egalitarian first world cultures, watch transgender woman Paula Stone Williams describe her experience of sexism. Its impactful because she was socialised as a male so understands from the inside the unconscious assumptions behind male privilege. She speaks clearly about the disempowering messages she repeatedly receives as a woman. Even though she made this TED talk in 2017, it is still & will be valuable for decades to come. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrYx7HaUlMY

08.01.2022 Dr. Marty Klein says: Almost everyone is interested in "intimacy." But people can't create it if they don't agree on what it means. Why is it so hard to maintain? Why don't therapists understand it better? And why do I say that most couples DON'T have a "communication problem?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqeeJOhZpi8

08.01.2022 An 11 minute snip from a discussion about the crisis among men and boys, where Dr. Warren Farrell & John Anderson Australian deputy prime minister from 1996-2005, deliberate on how families, and society at large, can improve the lot of children - no matter their gender or background. To do well, kids need both parents being involved with them & each other, as well as being capable of good communication & conflict management skills https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H57qMYMwxp8

06.01.2022 How insidious, constant social & cultural messages to women undermine our sense of who we are. Be a Lady - a 3 minute video shows why women are confused & out of touch with ourselves. And these messages totally omit people who don't fit in to this either/or gender identity! https://vimeo.com/393253445

05.01.2022 I love you but I'm not in love with you - Successful Relationships September newsletter out now https://bit.ly/2R0ZdzY I cant tell you how frequently I hear these words in my relationship counselling practice! I understand them to mean something like: Is this relationship really over or does my unhappiness mean that theres work to be done to shift us to the next stage? Telling the difference between these two is important, but not necessarily easy. In general, we dont want to know the real truth about lasting relationships.

05.01.2022 Intimate Attachments - The importance of our intimate attachments and connections to others cannot be minimized. John Bowlby, the father of attachment theory, studied attachments for his whole life. His opinion was that our intimate attachments to other human beings are the hub around which our lives revolve. Successful Relationships April newsletter out now https://bit.ly/2yEYsqa

04.01.2022 Helpful two pages with 10 psychological tips for coping with COVID-19 released by the Australian Government through their MindSpot Clinic https://mindspot.org.au//10_Tips_for_Coping_with_Infectiou

04.01.2022 Anthropologist Helen Fisher takes on a tricky topic love and explains its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its social importance. She closes with a warning about the potential disaster inherent in antidepressant abuse. 23 minute TED talk https://www.ted.com//helen_fisher_why_we_love_why_we_cheat

03.01.2022 Map of sexual self-awareness. Successful Relationships February newsletter out now. Sex is a very complicated subject. Without a clear map of sexual self-awareness how do we navigate the mystery, power, history and paradox of sex? Clear maps are in not easily found. So its no wonder that many of us struggle with it! Dr. Alexandra Solomons book Taking Sexy Back offers a dynamic and holistic guide to help you reclaim your sexuality, communicate your desires, draw boundaries, be safe, and build the satisfying relationships you truly want. https://vivianbaruch.com//02/22/map-of-sexual-self-awaren/

03.01.2022 A 4 minute video showing that the real boss behind romantic attraction is your brain, which runs through a very quick, very complex series of calculations when assessing a potential partner https://www.ted.com//dawn_maslar_the_science_of_attraction

02.01.2022 Self-soothe before conversations with your partner. It helps you both stay moderate & adult.

02.01.2022 Whether youre social distancing or quarantined together, during stressful and uncertain times, its more important than ever to prioritize rituals of connection with your partner. https://www.gottman.com/blog/24-dates-you-can-try-at-home/

01.01.2022 Great podcast - Episode 22: The Science of Relationships. https://bit.ly/3fFWAhD How has evolution affected your love life and relationships? Join Dr. Tammy as she talks with Psychologist Dr. Wendy Walsh about the history of human sexuality, mating and modern love.

01.01.2022 Relational Golden Rule: What can I give you to help you give me what Im asking for? How can I empower you to come through to me?

01.01.2022 Re-create Your Relationship Vision - Can you re-create your relationship vision once your relationship has lost its energy? Can you get the energy and juice back? Yes, you can. Successful Relationships July newsletter out now https://vivianbaruch.com//re-create-your-relationship-vis/