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Rebuilding the Divorced Man

Locality: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Phone: +61 432 681 321



Address: 77 Delville Avenue, Moorooka Brisbane, QLD, Australia

Website: http://rtdm.com.au

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22.01.2022 Dealing with Stress. Going through a divorce is very stressful. Most men say it's probably one of if not the most stressful things they have had to deal with.... On top of that there is the whole pandemic going on at the same time with mass job layoff and loads of financial stress piled on top of everything else. If you are in that situation then there are a couple of things that we recommend you do. The first thing is you have to keep doing exercise. I know it's easy to not exercise. It's easy to sit down on the couch and down a six pack of beer and feel better about life at least temporarily. But it doesn't help in the long term. If you keep doing moderately stressful exercise, at least 30 minutes to 1 hour a day, your stress levels will be much lower, you will feel a heap better about yourself and you health will improve. Finally, when in survival stress, the number 1 thing you can do is to keep working the problem. Don't give up keep solving the next bit of the problem and the bit after that and then the bit after that. In survival situations, feeling bad about yourself or blaming your mother or father or ex wife about your current predicament won't get you anywhere. Keep working the problem. Never give up and know that you will get through to the other side.



21.01.2022 Guys, I just thought I would share some feedback we have gotten from a guy who has done the Rebuilding the Divorced Man course. Here it below. Hey guys! I’m glad that I can contribute to helping out those of us who’re going through, or have been through, the hell that can be divorce. Rebuilding the Divorced Man is a fabulous program that has been an inspiration and a godsend. I’m currently going through a contentious divorce, so I’m not quite capable of being able to follow e...very step or bit of advice, but there is a phenomenal amount of useful info in here no matter what stage you are in. And it has been eye-opening and enlightening. I’ll be honest, I’ve not VIEWED every episode or lesson, but I’ve LISTENED to every minute with Michael and Chris and I appreciate everything that they have done, and are doing. I am watching, re-listening, and taking notes, and trying to get as much as I possibly can from the lessons these guys have put together. Hell, the insight that they’ve given me has even helped with some issues from old-relationships that I brought into my marriage which I didn’t realize that I had. They are insightful, informative, and highly thought provoking. I, myself, have a background of working in mental health but I was as gobsmacked as the next guy when I found my marriage imploding and myself going through this nightmare. And as to these two awesome guys being inspirational, they’ve inspired me and a friend to start putting together a support system/group for guys in our area and to directing them to this course and very useful information it contains. I’m even going to recommend them to some of friends who are still married. Tim M. Jackson, MS, USA Below is the link to the course. https://www.rtdm.com.au/rtdam-sales-landing-page/ Michael Brook

20.01.2022 This may upset some guys, but here goes. Everyone is different and people can change. There may come a time when you may have to work productively with your ex. I've heard dozens of stories of guys whose ex has been a very damaged person and cost them everything. I'm also aware of stories of men who, by virtue of having kids together, have to work with their ex over an extended period of time. ... If that's you then you need to think about the long term consequences of how you deal with them and know that you can have a productive relationship with your ex. If fact this should be an outcome that you want if it's possible for you. Your enemy can become your ally if you are open to that happening. If you can get there, things in life, while difficult may become easier. Now, I know a bunch of guys reading this are probably saying.. F**k that. But, it's a possible outcome that is desirable if possible. Michael Brook

20.01.2022 The 100 day rule and divorce. In Vanuatu there is a custom where if something tragic happens, like a tragic death, then the person who is dead is mourned and the nature of the death can be spoken of for only 100 days. After those 100 days, the tragedy can not be verbally spoken of. This custom allows the Vanuatu-ans to be able to let go of the bad shit in life and move on.... This is not to say that the bad shit is forgotten. On the contrary, it is remembered but not spoken of. When talking to divorced men, the guys who move forward with their lives are the ones to let go of the bad shit that happened and begin focusing on the good things that are yet to happen. So, if you are stuck thinking about the shit things that happened or the bad shit your ex did, ask the question. Was it more than 100 days ago? If the answer is yes. Remember it, learn from it, but don't talk about it. Talk about what you want instead. Michael Brook



20.01.2022 What do you want that's possible? I talk to divorced men a lot and the guys who are stuck tend to focus on things they either don't want, or aren't possible. Do that over and over for a few months and that is a recipe for mental devastation.... So when I'm talking to them I will frequently ask the question, what do you want? and what do you want that is possible? These to questions asked repeatedly can get you out of a mental hole. If you are focusing on the hurt of the past you are focusing on things you want. If you are focusing on the injustice of divorce you aren't focusing on having a good life and moving forward. As Winston Churchill once said, they only way to go through hell is to keep moving forward. To do that you have to focus on getting out the other side. So, what do you want? Ask yourself that question when you get in a hole? What do you want? Start moving towards that. Michael Brook Rebuilding the Divorced Man. 0432681321

19.01.2022 Get Clear on what you want, and be honest about it. After a divorce you probably don't want to be involved with women at all. That is understandable. The opposite is also true, many men after separation go on a rampage and try to bang as many women as they can. ... Over time, some men find the rage dissipates and they find themselves wanting to have a deep relationship again. Some men just want to keep smashing... Whatever category you fall into, be honest. If you are honest you will probably find a woman out there that wants the same thing. A lot of problems in long term relationships come from one or both people not wanting to rock the boat and are not honest about what they want. So, gentlemen, be honest and ask for what you want. The chances are you'll find it. Michael Brook

17.01.2022 Thanksgiving and divorce. Thanksgiving can be a very difficult time for a lot of divorced men. The old family rituals that you went through when you were married are no longer available to you. It can be really tough emotionally.... Giving thanks for what you have in your life is important AND it's also important to give thanks for what is no longer present in your life. Many divorced men at thankful that they no longer have to stay in a sexless relationship. Many divorced men are thankful that they no longer feel like they are criticized all the time and feel that everything they were doing was constantly wrong. Many divorced men are thankful that they are free to express themselves as individuals and do what they want when they want rather than risk their wives disapproval. And finally, many divorced men are thankful that they are free to be able to find happiness in a relationship with a woman that truly appreciates and desires them. True deep lasting happiness is possible after divorce. Getting there sucks but being there in the end is awesome. So this thanksgiving, remember that a brighter future is now possible for you. Michael Brook Rebuilding the Divorced Man.



16.01.2022 Work the problem. Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't get shit done. In these difficult times a lot of people are struggling. Whether it's with divorce or they have lost their jobs or they have health issues. We are all trying to survive. The best thing I can say to help you is work the problem.... Feeling sorry for yourself doesn't' get shit done. IF you have all of those things going on, start at one problem and work that one. Bit by bit... step by step. Work the problem and if you do that over a period of time you might find just how far you have come. Mike

16.01.2022 Guys, I know if you are on this page you have gone through a divorce. And for many men, even though they have been through that experience, they still want to have a long term relationship in the future.... I've just recently finished recording an online course on relationships. If you are interested in being a tester please let me know. What that means is you get full access to the course. In exchange you give me your thoughts or a testimonial on what you think of it. If you are interested, PM me or email me to [email protected] Regards, Michael Brook

12.01.2022 If things are shit... move your body. Whether it's dealing with stress from a divorce or losing your job, or both, it's easy to get stuck in a downward spiral if you aren't careful. Many guys will get into what can euphemistically be called self medication and that isn't good.... Movement of your body is critical to your ability to maintain your strength and mental health. It had great anti depression benefits. Many studies have shown that 30 minutes of moderately stressful exercise 3 times a week is as good as if not better than anti depression medication. Also, frequently when you finish exercise you have come up with the solutions to your problems in the first place. So, move your body gents. It will get your mind moving. Mike

11.01.2022 Take the long game. If you are divorced and going through difficulties with your ex, (that's the most probable outcome) then you may be having to make choices about how to behave with respect to your ex. It's always best to think about the long game rather than the short term.... That is to say, that you may be needing to have a co parenting relationship with your ex for many years. If that is true then you should do what you can to keep the relationship on a positive note. The short term satisfaction of stirring up your ex will pale away if the long term relationship is severely compromised by the short term satisfaction. You need to stand up for your boundaries and your rights and what is best for yourself and the kids. But.. Don't poke the bear. If you are struggling with separation and divorce please feel free to give us a call on 0432 681 321 and find out how we can assist you in this difficult time. Michael Brook Rebuilding the Divorced Man

09.01.2022 Be the best role model you can be. When emotions are running high, a significant number of men have challenges keeping their emotions in check. They feel like their family, their finances, their future, their kids have all been taken away from them. If you take that perspective and look at what you have lost it's easy to be angry and lash out at your ex. ... BUT, if you take the longer view, trying to the extent that you can, to be the best role model for you kids that you can be, makes you deal with your ex differently. Simply put, even if you are divorcing your ex, if you have kids together you are almost never going to get them out of your life completely and depending on the kids age you'll have to make joint decisions together for a LOOONNNGGGG time. Trying to be accomodating while setting boundaries, kind whilst taking no shit... means your relationship in the future will be much better and you will be demonstrating a collaborative approach for the kids. They'll notice who the arsehole is. Make sure it isn't you. Michael Brook



07.01.2022 No matter how hard things are.. you have to have hope. In talking to the divorced men that I do there are several common themes. They are pain, betrayal, despair, shattered dreams and shattered promises. Universally, they hit their darkest hour after the hammer comes down.... It's critical for you to move on to have hope. Hope that you can move through it. Hope that things can get better. Hope that you can find happiness and love again And hope that your relationships with your kids will be fine. Not everything goes how you want it to. But if you have hope... you can move forward. You can pick you direction and start moving there. Michael Brook

06.01.2022 Avoidance behaviours avoids both the problems and the solution to the problems. If you want to fix your problems, stop avoiding them. In stressful times a lot people will often reach for behaviours that will allow them to avoid their problems. Whether it's alcohol or drugs or gambling or food or TV or computer games, avoid your problems don't make them go away.... What avoiding also does is that it avoid the solutions to your problems. Problems are overcome by dealing with them and taking the steps, often day by day, little by little, to get them solved. So, if you want to start moving forword.. lean into your problems, that's the only way to get forward momentum Michael Brook Rebuilding the Divorced Man

05.01.2022 Happiness is possible... you have to believe it. When you are going through separation and divorce, it's easy to feel that all the things that made you happy in life had been taken away and you are never going to get it back again. It's also easy to feel that you pain both emotional and financial won't end either.... Guys who successfully navigate separation and divorce frequently get to the other side and find happiness and love. It's incredibly useful for someone going through a separation to know that happiness is possible for you again. It may take some time, it may take meeting a number of people and it may take some failures along the way. But is is possible. I know it is. I'm experiencing it. So, guys, have hope... don't give up.. push through. Get some coaching... because happiness will be possible for you again. Michael Brook Rebuilding the Divorced Man.

04.01.2022 Don't get trapped in the hamster wheel. Having been through a divorce myself, when you are going through it, it's the most intensely emotional experience you may have ever have faced. Men are problem solvers and we want to understand what is happening around us and to us. So it's natural in a divorce to want to understand everything about your partners motivations about why she did what she did and why you did what you did. ... It's easy to get trapped in this loop and go round and round in your head trying to understand everything that happened. This is a major trap that you should avoid. There will be a time to make sense of it but when you are in it overthinking is the way to madness. Don't get trapped in the hamster wheel. Think about the future. Think about what you want to have. Work like hell to make that happen. If you need help, get some coaching. Michael Brook Rebuilding the Divorced Man

02.01.2022 Hi Guys, It's divorce time of year. The number of divorces initiated during the month of January is the highest for any month of the year. At this time of year many people think about how to make changes to their lives and how to do things differently.... They often write plans or set resolutions and then nothing happens. If that has happened to you it's important that you keep yourself accountable. Nothing will change unless you make a daily commitment to change. It can be very hard for a lot of men to break out of the hole of depression that many men fall into after divorce. But it is possible. One day at a time. One step at a time. Michael Brook

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