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Saksana
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25.01.2022 The Game is not about becoming Somebody. It's about becoming Nobody. Ram Dass
24.01.2022 There are two types of people in this world. Those that are traumatised, and those that are traumatised but they don’t know it. Gabor Mate's new movie is available to watch for free until Monday: https://wisdomoftrauma.com/movie/ Gabor Mate is a gift to mankind. What a privilege we have him to help our world heal it's deep trauma wounds. We are all in this together <3 Despite the name it’s not heavy or hard going. It’s so beautiful, loving and hopeful.
21.01.2022 I want to share a potent dream I had this morning, which woke me up because of it's high emotional content. Will try to keep it short. Sharing because I think it's important we listen to our dreams, understand the body/mind connection (especially the wisdom of our vaginas and how much we store in there as women) and also in case anyone has any pertinent knowledge they want to share. PS I am familiar with trauma and body connection eg Gabor Mate etc, the vagina etc. I have ...Continue reading
11.01.2022 trigger warning: suicide I've been suicidal since I was 15 and the feeling hasn't really ever gone away, I've just learned to live with it (pun intended). On g...ood days, it is stagnant, but still there. It lingers quietly in the corner. I can feel it but can not give it any attention. On bad days it feels my whole body is heavy and I can't find my equilibrium. It's like carrying sandbags through the desert with no end in sight. I am thankful that I don't take on shame because shame is when you feel bad for who you are. If I carried that, I wouldn't have lasted long. Over the years as I have come more home to myself, I've been able to support myself when these 'waves' feel huge. I've been able to open up to my closest loved ones and come to a mutual understanding of what it feels like for me and what it must feel like them to be with someone whose had suicidal ideation for over 20 years. When feelings are intense, I remind myself that I know what I am looking for in these moments. What am I looking for? Relief. Relief from life, relief from nightmares and night terrors, relief from trauma, relief from violence and suffering. I take myself to my garden, get my feet and hands in the dirt. I go rock pooling where I explore the small delicate, intricate details of the microcosms and ecosystems around me. I learn about animals and plants. I watch the sky, sometimes for hours. If I get into a headspace of "better off without me", I challenge those thoughts. I know they aren't true and I know with my whole heart that my loved ones wouldn't recover very easily with not having me in their life. When I feel this way I cuddle Twink, Rainbow Brites sprite - a toy I have had since my childhood. Twink comes with me everywhere, whether I am speaking at conferences, visiting friends, travelling across the state or overseas, attending a birth! He is my reminder that I am loved. And the other thing of course is getting help and or medication if I need it. My trauma does not define me. Neither does the years of abuse or my mental health. Nothing is lost on me. I can still make something beautiful with this life of mine and I do, every day, by sharing it with you. Art, storytelling, being on Country and being with you is how and why I am alive.
11.01.2022 Some great relationship tools suggested :)
05.01.2022 As someone who has been curiously exploring psychedelics for the past 7 years as an adjunct to healing and greater consciousness, this is a well considered piece and ... a rather typical philosophical response that entertains the mind. To give context, I have explored plant medicines (ayahuasca, peyote, san pedro, kambo, rape) in traditional, indigenous style contexts (this is important for understanding "setting"). I have also explored LSD privately, as well as microdosing m...Continue reading
04.01.2022 2021: RECLAIMING YOUR SOUL It’s a new year, it’s a new day, it’s a new world, it’s a new you. The old world and the old you REALLY needed to die because they ha...d started to lose their Soul. Yet how can you reclaim something you can’t even define? Something you’re not even sure you believe in? Lucky for you Soul isn’t a belief, but simply a way of life. This is because Soul is not conceptual but experiential; your ancestors didn’t believe in Soul, they felt and bled and danced and ate and bathed in it. A strong focus on Soulfulness is what unites every culture that ever was, throughout the entire history of humanity and beyond except ours. Soulfulness is actually the primordial stance of sentience you see - not ‘spirituality’, not ‘religion’ not ‘superstition’ and certainly not ‘rationality’ - but soulfulness. Soul is in fact the true state of nature. This is the state we once inhabited before the emergence of the city-state. Soul is the music of the Kosmos, the math of Nature, the physics of life itself. Soul is the religion of Cicada, and Mangrove Root, and Wind-Racing-Across-Water; Soul is in Grandmother Limestone’s tears, in the halo of the Moon, in the Silence of the Grave. All you have to do is come into relationship with the soulfulness that already surrounds you sweet friend. For soul IS relationship. The world is full of Persons say the Ojibway, only some of which are human. Soul is All-My-Relations: the Flying Fox Tribes, the dancing Aurora Borealis People, Grandfather Time and even the holy Hill-tribes of Haemoglobin. Soul brings us back into relationship with the All-That-Is. By plunging us back into right-relationship with a purposeful and sentient world, Soul is the primary medicine for the insanity of modernity. Soul is also respect: respect for the suchness of life, both your own and All-Your-Relations. Soul causes your blood to blush with respect, Soul steeps your gentle bones in respect, Soul respects Respect, because all Respect is Self-respect, and Self-respect is Soul respect. Gone is the distinction between ‘in-here’ and ‘out-there’; gone is the jail cell of ‘self’; gone is any possibility of ‘other’ ... for Soul is All-That-Is-The-Case. From the perspective of Soul, ‘Being’ is the seamless tapestry of reality not atoms or space or force Being. Soul denies Being to nothing. Life experienced like this causes distinctions between Nymphs, Dryads & Daemon on the one hand and DMT, Endorphins & Dopamine on the other hand to cease making sense. All are sacred, all are experiential. Soul grants all phenomena ontological status as ‘Real’ touched phenomena, dreamt phenomena, sung phenomena, psychic phenomena, visioned phenomenaall real, all revealed, all respected, all revered. Soul is not a substance you see, but a perspective, not metaphor but meaning, not language but life. Soul is the totality of life, embracing all the experiences that science and religion both insist are not real. Soul soars across the ideological trench-lines between ‘imagined’ phenomena and ‘perceived’ phenomena. Soul is like a child in a playground, and the playground is not 'reality' but 'life' in all its imaginative richness. To deny Soul to the world around us is thus the heights of dehumanisation, it dehumanises us yes, but in de-animating the World we also dehumanise the More-Than-Human Kosmos itself.rendering it a soulless Wasteland for our selves. To reclaim your Soul you have to reclaim Soul itself for the entire world: the Soul of rain-song, the Soul of midnight melancholy, the Soul of Earthworm and Dawn and Chocolate Cake and Broken Promise. The Kosmos of Soul is an oasis for your parched and arid mind sweet friend, if only you would let it be. For truly, there is Soul in all things... including you.
03.01.2022 HOW TO STOP GIVING FUCKS~~ Be happy, be good, be positive, be optimistic, be successful, be woke, be spiritually enlightened. Consume the perfect diet. Attract ...a million followers on Instagram. Live your best life! Rise up the career ladder. Be fit and healthy. Be your greatest self. Manifest your life’s purpose. Optimise your body's functioning. Release your pain, fear, anger and sadness. Free yourself from doubt. Fall in love with the man and woman of your dreams and live happily ever after and never feel lonely again. This dream is beautiful but it is literally killing us. The eternal soul has no interest in living up to any ideal of happiness, however beautiful. Its terrible and sacred rage boils underneath the entire self-help project. Its cry for authenticity, for Truth at any cost. Fuck the lie of the ‘perfect life’; it only makes us depressed, anxious, addicted, and actually feeds our shame and self-loathing and feelings of failure. The constant striving eventually exhausts us, brings us to our knees. It’s too much work for the poor organism, to be ‘positive’ all the time. The Unconscious is enraged by the lie. And it wants to fucking rest. But in our exhausted state, afraid even to touch our exhaustion, we turn to medication, energy drinks, drugs, mantras, the gym, more positivity. Or we simply lose ourselves in thought. Or we create a new identity as ‘the depressed one’ or ‘the failure’. Or we simply ‘push through’ the exhaustion and just keep busy, and numb. Keep moving at any cost. Never stop. Happiness literally makes us unhappy. Fuck this kind of false happiness. It’s vitally important to make room for the darkness too. To create space in your life for the grief, the rage, the shame, the fear and the loneliness. To bring these poor, misunderstood creatures out of hiding and into the Light. If you do not, they will drain your lifeblood like vampires. Until you listen. Be willing to expose your unhappiness, too. Give a voice to the sorrow, the anger, the fear, the deep loneliness at the core. Break some taboos. Say the ‘wrong’ thing. Shatter the false image. You may lose followers. You may lose friends. You may lose your job. You will certainly lose your mask. Change may scare the shit out of you. Good. It’s supposed to. You may lose everything and you may have to begin life again. But the soul will rejoice. It has been through myriad deaths and rebirths. It couldn’t give a fuck about protecting itself from change. It finds change thrilling, life-giving, erotic even. There is a bigger Happiness that actually embraces even our deepest unhappiness and does not shame it. This is the Happiness you have always longed for. The Happiness that strips off the mask, destroys our protections, sees our flaws, our vulnerabilities, our deepest sorrows and accepts and loves us just as we are. Okay. Here is your new spiritual mantra Fuck (the mind’s concept of) happiness. Fuck ‘Namaste’. Fuck trying to be good. Fuck spirituality. Fuck perfection. Fuck fitting in. Fuck all the gods and gurus and guides who fuel the filthy lie of happiness as a destination and a goal. Fuck this narcissistic, self-absorbed, shame-based culture that suppresses the feminine and our gorgeous vulnerability. Accept it all and fuck it all. Bless it all and fuck it all and love it all. Open your heart to it all. Bless this silly human mind with its conditioned ideas and impossible standards and its never-ending attempts to tell us how we ‘should’ be, or what the ‘right’ thoughts and feelings are. Fuck the lie of happiness that sends so many to an early grave. Protect the inner child, the one who feels unhappy, lonely, sad, disconnected, sometimes. Stop telling her to be happy, connected, peaceful, spiritual and blissed-out today. She couldn’t give a fuck. She just wants your love. Drench the sad and lonely inner one with curiosity, understanding. Breathe into her. Fuck all the forces of the world that would seek to harm her or silence her. And when she asks, Mommy, Daddy, do I have to be happy and perfect for you to love me? You can reply: Of course not my love. I love you exactly as you are. I love your flaws and imperfections and your vulnerable heart. They are all so beautiful to me. It’s okay to not feel peaceful. You don’t have to be happy right now. Let’s be unhappy together Now THAT is fucking Happiness.~ ~Jeff Foster
01.01.2022 <3 Kids hand him their suicide notes. Now this musician has 120 of their names tattooed on his arm <3 Several years ago, Robb Nash received an urgent phone call... from a high school principal. One of the school’s students had killed herself and in her suicide note revealed that she and a friend had a suicide pact. She didn’t say who. Nash, a Canadian musician was already becoming a popular motivational speaker for teens. He visited schools and performed his songs and shared stories about overcoming adversity. But now, the school asked if he could address suicide directly. It was a subject Nash knew all too well. Standing in front of that room of teenagers who were still reeling from the loss of their peer, he opened up about when he was suicidal. How, in his darkest moments, he had no longer wanted to live. I know someone in this room is having these feelings, he said he told them, You’re not alone. A girl approached him after and handed him a folded piece of paper. It was her suicide note. She told him through tears that she’d planned to kill herself that weekend, he recalled. In that moment he said that he realized that in every school he visited there could be a kid in the room with a similar note, waiting for someone to reach out and give them a reason to live. Now suicide awareness is a cornerstone of his presentations. He shares his story and that of the other kids he’s met who once wanted to take their own lives. Hundreds of them have come to him afterward and reached into backpacks or pockets or wallets and handed him the suicide note they’d been carrying. It’s their way of saying: I won’t be needing this anymore. So earlier this month, Nash picked 120 names from those notes and had their signatures tattooed down his right arm. Now, when he gives presentations, he can hold up his arm and say, Look, here are 120 kids who have those thoughts just like you and they’re still here. Your life isn’t over. There is still a purpose for your life. One of those kids is Taylor Bowman, who was 15 years old when Nash came to her school. Bowman kept a suicide note under her pillow for months. She had a bracelet she’d always worn that she planned to leave with the note for her mom. She said she was just waiting for the moment that would push her to take her life. But listening to Nash, and all his stories of survival, she felt like she could survive too. She waited for all the other students to leave and she approached Nash. She slipped off her bracelet and handed it to him. I don’t plan on leaving it for anybody, anymore, she said she told him. Because of Bowman, now 19, Nash had bracelets made up with a lyric just for today from one of his songs and gives it to students who hand over their notes, or the razors they use to self harm, or to those who are emotional after the show. The bracelet becomes a symbol of their breakthrough. Nash said he’s given out 20,000 of them. We’ve all got a story, he said he tells the students. I had voices in my head trying to take me out. There is someone out there who needs your story. You are going to meet a kid someday going through the same thing and you’re going to recognize it and you get to be that kid’s hero. Nash, a popular athlete in his senior year, almost died when he was 17 years old. He was driving his friends one night, speeding down an icy road feeling invincible as teenagers often do. He pulled around a car not seeing a semi-truck coming straight for them. He slammed on the brakes, but it was too late. He hit it head on. His friends somehow walked away, but he was unconscious, bleeding from his head. The paramedics on the scene pronounced him dead on arrival. But in the hospital, doctors worked to save him. They rebuilt the left side of his skull, his right shoulder and his clavicle with steel bolts. When he woke up, he couldn’t remember what happened, just that he was in so much pain. The near-death experience didn’t provide him enlightenment. He just felt bitter and angry. He couldn’t get a manual-labor job because of his injuries, and he couldn’t get an office job because he didn’t have the schooling. Once a jock, he could no longer play sports. Every option I thought I had was gone, he said. I had a lot of dark thoughts. I didn’t want to be alive. People were always telling him that everything happens for a reason to try to console him. But that only made him feel worse, like he was being punished for something. Then, about a year or so after his accident, his brother-in-law said the thing he needed to hear: I think I know the reason you were hit by a semi truck, Nash recalled him saying. Because you were going too fast on an icy road. That’s when Nash realized he had control over what direction his life took. He began writing music and formed a band called, Live on Arrival. His band started to have commercial success; they were touring with bigger bands and had songs on the radio, he said. But he walked away from it all when given an opportunity to start performing his songs and telling his story in schools and prisons. So, he ripped up his record deal, he said, and embarked on what is now his life’s purpose: To encourage kids to discover theirs. This is now what Nash does, traveling across Canada where suicides are the second leading cause of death between the ages of 10 and 24 doing on average 150 shows a year to talk to kids about issues often too painful to face. He speaks openly and vulnerably about his own experience. This bold, confident rocker shows them that having emotions doesn’t make you weak. Those feelings can be a gift, he’ll tell them, if you channel them toward expressing creativity and compassion. He’s created a community. Kids write to him openly on social media, and if one mentions they are struggling then the other kids who follow Nash’s pages will see it and bombard that kid with messages of hope. During his presentations he shows videos and tells stories of the kids he’s met who once struggled too, and are now thriving. His main message is for the kids to know they are not alone. And he now has his tattooed arm to prove it. (y) Be the change you want to see in the world Be sure to share this story ... you'll never know how many souls will you reach <3 H/T: http://wapo.st/29e0nF0 Photo credit: Robb Nash/Facebook
