The Magic of Laughter | Comedian

The Magic of Laughter

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• Comedian
• Motivational speaker

25.01.2022 Tales from the Old Wild West.

25.01.2022 Are you feeling depressed, trapped or imprisoned by your present lifestyle or situation? Keep the faith, there is light at the end of the tunnel, that light is your sense of humor... .

25.01.2022 Cupid sat upon a sunbeam looking very deep in thought. With his little bow and arrow he was out in search of sport.... Soon he saw a boy and his girl, by a rose-bush partly hid, and although he declined to be hurting a couple who just might be flirting He knew it was disconcerting.... But he did. To the boy and the girl he was woo-ing the world became suddenly fair Birds began twittering and singing, in the lilac scented air. He asked her if he could kiss her; His passion too hard to be hid Though she said that she couldn't ever let him it wouldn't be right and she shouldn't but she did.. Then he told her that he loved her in a voice of joy and pride. Would she consent to be married and be his blushing bride? The girl shyly cast down her eyes and remained in silence so long. Are you thinking this story ended in a way that fate had intended? And that Cupid murmured Splendid! Well, you're wrong. It was then the girl she admitted one small fact that she had hid that her husband might not let her and she warned him that he had better go away and try to forget her, and he did.

25.01.2022 Do you have a special event coming up? A birthday, anniversary or retirement? You may need something unusual for the occasion. What about a special guest speaker, complete with a speech highlighting certain aspects of the guest of honour's life? Don Jones has hoaxed, roasted and heaped praise on many people celebrating 70th - 80th - 90th and even 100th birthdays. He has extolled the virtues of a loyal employee on retirement while adding some little known information to thos...e attending the momentous occasion. Working with the organisers of the special event Don will produce a humorous tailor-made speech that will mark the occasion. The speech will be based on true events with the addition of some exaggeration. true events with the addition of some exaggeration. Do you remember that old TV series This is Your Life? It would have been boring if it hadn't contained some enhancement and elaborate embellishments. The length of the speech can vary from 10 to 20 minutes. As an experienced comedy magician, Don extends the entertainment to involve the guest of honour and members of the guest attending the event. See more

24.01.2022 I had many jobs over the years. For some of them, I was a "Private Eye'. It wasn't an easy job; not every Tom and Harry can be a Dick.

24.01.2022 All men are cremated equal A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine. Always finish what you st.. Always try to make other people happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it A neat desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.... A preposition is a fine thing to end a sentence with. Abandon all hope, ye who press "ENTER" here. All my life I wanted to be someone. I guess I should have been more specific. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. See more

23.01.2022 Good presentation this morning at Stamford Hotel. Small audience but very responsive. My Magic of Laughter talk is evolving. Becoming more motivational than a stand up with a message.

22.01.2022 I was at the hairdresser's this week and as I was thumbing through one of the magazines I found "Tips for travellers" If on a trip you have forgotten to pack your toothbrush, take a bite of cheese, gently chew and swirl around the inside of your mouth..... A good tip, but if you have forgotten to pack a toothbrush what are the odds you'll remember to pack a chunk of cheese???

21.01.2022 I'll be doing my Magic of Laughter talk to a Probus club via Zoom next week. In my introductory remarks about why we are meeting online, isolation, etc... I need to remind people of the four reasons we are allowed to leave the confines of our home. In order to remember it I thought I'd put it in a poem...here it is... whaddya think??? There are only four reasons for leaving your home A care visit for loved ones all on their own Needing to shop for food and supplies. Study or work and brisk exercise.

21.01.2022 Whether you are speaking in front of a large audience or in social conversation I believe in the power of humorous one-liners to help you connect with your audience. Mastering the art of the one-liner is simple, much easier than mastering the art of telling humorous stories. The latter requires a keen sense of pacing and timing to deliver a punch line which results in laughter. Some speakers just cant get the timing right when telling longer stories, but usually, have no pro...blem at all with one-liners. If you know who said the one-liner always give credit, but if you dont, just use it and forget about authorship. Many one-liners are credited to so many sources no one really knows from whom they originated. The origin and authorship of most are lost. Just use them. Here is a collection of one-liners for you to use for your talk or in your everyday conversations. Practice delivering them with sharpness and confidence. I have more but I will post them 10 at a time. 1. Expecting life to treat you fairly because youre a good person is much like expecting a bull not to charge you because youre a vegetarian. 2. Start each day off with a smile......and get it over with. 3. My mother told me I wouldnt get far in life because of my procrastination, but I told her, Just you wait! 4. If you go to a doctors office and find all the plants dead, get yourself another Doctor. 5. If at first you dont succeed, so much for sky diving. 6. My insides feel so much younger than my outsides look. 7. We must do more than gargle from the well of knowledge. 8. I read recently in the newspaper that impotence is on the rise. 9. Im not afraid of dying; I just dont want to be there when it happens. 10. They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it anyway.

20.01.2022 Be a clown, be a clown, all the world loves a clown

20.01.2022 It's seniors week in Melbourne here are a few you can use down at the club 21. You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while youre down there. 22 If you drink dont drive. Dont even putt. 23. I dont say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes theyd come up sliced. 24. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of bagpipes. ... 25. Golf and sex are the only two things you can enjoy without being good at either of them. 26. One reason you cant take it with you is that its gone before you are. 27. You know youre getting old when it takes two of you to recall someones name. 28. A pessimist is one who enjoys hearing the patter of little defeats. 29. If quitters never win and winners never quit, who came up with, Quit while youre ahead? 30 There's a new golf putter for seniors, you put it under your chin. you can putt and take a nap at the same time. See more

18.01.2022 This made me laugh. When someone falls down and gets up... that's funny... when they don't get up that's tragedy...

18.01.2022 originally written as a song for a trio of performers

17.01.2022 I thought I'd already posted this. Had a lot of fun with the Hastings Cove residents today. Lots of laughs. Cedric the psychic chicken was a great succes for first time performance. Lots of potential. #themagicoflaughter #seniorsentertainment #hastings #comedy

17.01.2022 I don't know why I enjoy this so much. It's not a good video but it reminds of what a lot of fun it was to do this effect with Kelly and Aurora.

17.01.2022 Not sure where I saw this, but I wrote it down in my notebook... It's called IT... You can't beg for IT, borrow IT or steal IT. If you have IT, you know IT If you don't have IT, look for IT. If you have a talent for IT you may have IT... If you have a passion for IT, you may have IT If you have talent and passion, you've got IT Everyone has an IT, find IT, cherish IT share IT. IT...... is where talent and passion collide. That's IT. See more

17.01.2022 Happy New Year to all. remember to make it a 365 laugh a day year. Laughter is the cheapest luxury that anyone can have. It stirs the blood, expands the chest, electrifies the nerves, clears away the cobwebs from the brain and gives the whole system a cleansing rehabilitation. Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the potholes of life.

16.01.2022 I was booked to perform one of my hoax speeches last week for an 80-year-old lay preacher. His wife wanted me to write a speech that would make him make him more interesting. (Her words, not mine.) It appeared at some stage in his life he endeavored to start his own religious denomination he called it the Eighth Day Adventist. His wife remarked that it was appropriate because he was late for everything.

16.01.2022 Just having a chat.

16.01.2022 I've got a feeling this needs to be set to music. Superman He's a man with muscular muscles His blood is one big corpuscle... Hes always in perfect condition No sniffles, no sneezes, no germs or diseases What a man! what a man! Superman! Hes virtuous handsome and swoony. A mixture of Samson and Clooney He springs but he isnt romantic Hed much rather shoulder a fifty-ton boulder What a man! what a man! Superman! To some folk his costume is daring No intricate clothes is he wearing His problem of dressing is easy No fingers no buttons no zipper no nothing What a man! what a man! Superman! No bullet was made that can scratch him Just show him a crook and hell catch him Compared to him Arnie is puny He doesnt pump iron, his torso is fine What a man! what a man! Superman!

15.01.2022 This is a "song sheet" song I wrote for the Ugly Sisters fo a pantomime production of Cinderella at The Tivoli Theatre Restaurant. Can't remember the tune though. When you're feeling glum or down in the dumps don't sit around feeling your lumps make up your face, put on a smile... Just go out and have a ball. Every cloud has a silver lining Just you wait and see. Life is only what you make it, the best things in life are free. So, get out of bed, go paint the town red remember that you are a long time dead. Pull up your socks, stick out your chest Just go out and have a ball. See more

13.01.2022 I'm thinking of recording another CD. I've been looking for ideas for a CD cover.

11.01.2022 Hopefully this may bring a smile to your face, and for some will jog their memory of a few old jokes.

11.01.2022 The Night Visitor I was lying in bed peacefully sound asleep, when the wife suddenly gave me a shake. She turned on the light, then shook me again... Saying, Stop snoring, are you awake? Well I'm awake now, I sarcastically murmured, I was dreaming a dream which was weird. I dreamt I was eating an enormous marshmallow. Where's my pillow? It's disappeared. She shushed me and whispered, Can't you hear? There's somebody in the house I said, Don't be silly. You're imagining things, its more than likely a mouse. She said, don't be daft, mice do not shuffle, It's a burglar I'm sure of that. You're the man of the house go and see. If you think it's a mouse, take the cat. I crept downstairs and saw a strange man, wearing striped jumper and mask. Over his shoulder was a bag marked Swag I said, what are you doing? May I ask. He replied, Um, I'm looking for money and jewelry it's what I do, I'm a crook. I said, shuffling around in the dark is no good, turn on the light, we'll both look.

11.01.2022 A Story from the Old Wild West

10.01.2022 Insignificant. Why am I always overlooked when standing in a queue? Why is it that nobody says,... What can I do for you? The person right behind me is asked, The one just by the door, The one who's standing right alongside.. But me? They just ignore.. I've sometimes tried to be quite firm, I've said it isn't fair. That I've been waiting quite a while.. But no one seems to care. It's not because I look a mess, Untidy, poor or mean... I guess I'm insignificant... A person that's not seen.

09.01.2022 My Magic of Laughter Zoom talk was a huge success this morning. Lots more to learn about presenting through this new form. It was a little weird not getting the usual reaction from a "live" performance. Should I consider a laugh machine?????

08.01.2022 If you get big laughs you're a comedian, if you get small laughs you're a humorist if you get no laughs you're a singer. (Stolen from George Burns)

07.01.2022 I remember my first booking as a stand-up comedian, it was at a night club in London, a sort of cheaper version of The Silver Dollar... it was called the Bad Penny. I was the last act on, all the other acts were so bad that when I did my spot everybody remembered how bad the other acts were and started to boo again.

07.01.2022 I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

03.01.2022 I read a murder mystery this week, it was a real mystery... the murderer turned out to be a character in another book. Try reading a mystery novel backward. You know who the murderer is, but you don't know what, where and how they did it.

03.01.2022 I bought my wife a ukulele they said it would be easy to play It came with a tutor, a bag and a tuner plus a guarantee she'd be playing in a day.... They said, With only three chords she'll be playing with practice, she'll soon be proficient She'll have lots of fun, learning to strum It's an ideal musical instrument. I took the thing back a week later said the man, how's your wife going? I said, the uke didn't suit,can I swap it for a flute? She can't sing along while she's blowing.

02.01.2022 I have almost completed my latest effort to produce a book. I've endeavored to give it a catchy title... "Are You Trying To Be Funny" Not so much a how-to book but a collection of comedy routines, speeches, sketches and playlets I've written over the years with comments and guidelines for anyone who would like to be funny. It's just a file at the moment on my computer. Needs an edit before I print it and send it off to be published. Or maybe try the Amazon angle.

02.01.2022 I get a lot of fun out of writing fiction based on fact. I wrote a hoax speech for an old friend who has been in the business for 70 plus years. From some of his experiences in theatre I was able to exaggerate singular traits. He wanted me to mention his early child life so I popped in a couple of gags to liven the imagination of the audience up a tad. Example; Alan was destined for greatness at an early age, always different and adventurous even in childhood. Ever looking for ways to entertain his school chums he invented a game based on Russian roulette called bubble gum roulette. Six kids burst their bubble in your face and one of them had chickenpox.

01.01.2022 Continuing my list on one-liners. 11. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when youre on the toilet. 12. Its not hard to meet expenses, theyre everywhere. 13. Some days youre the dog and some days youre the tree. 14. If all is not lost where the hell is it?... 15. If God wanted us to bend over and touch our toes He would have put them on our knees. 16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 17. Its hard to make a comeback when youve never been anywhere. 18. If a cat could speak it would probably say something like, Hey I dont see a problem here. 19. Isnt it wonderful that wrinkles dont hurt? 20. Parenting teens is much like trying to juggle soot.. See more