Shelley Clarke in Seacliff, South Australia | Education

Shelley Clarke

Locality: Seacliff, South Australia

Phone: +61 429 157 836

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• Medical and health
• Education
• Alternative & holistic health service

25.01.2022 Top 3 Tips for School Pick up

25.01.2022 Tomorrow my daughter is doing a reading in front of all the reception classes. Tonight she was practicing her two lines she has to read. There are two words she keeps getting stuck on. Her behaviour turned silly but I knew exactly what was going on for her. Feelings bubbling under the surface. ‘Fear’, ‘Anxiety’, ‘Nervousness’. I jumped around with her and she moved these feelings through her body, as her body shook at the thought of doing something hard and scary tomorrow.... All the while making sure I was calm, centred and holding the fact that I knew she could do this. Lying in bed, she started to cry: Mum, I can’t do it. It’s too hard for a 5 year old to talk in front of 58 people. My heart felt for her. As parents we often want to ‘fix’ things for our children. To make their fears disappear. I wanted to jump in and give her a pep talk, to say that she CAN do it, I know she can. I know how easy it can be to respond with You’ll be right darling but this doesn’t validate her experience, her feelings. It doesn’t show her that I ‘get’ what she is feeling. Instead I hold the notion that by her expressing all these fears, the tears, the shaking, the worries. I know that she will come to her own resolve with it. I know she will be able to do this. Me: Oh sweetheart, I know it feels like you can’t do it Her (while crying): But Mum, what if I say the wrong words. It just feels so hard, I can’t do it Me: Yes, what if you say the wrong words. It feels like you can’t do it. Somethings feel so hard don’t they. More tears, more shaking. Me lying next to her. Listening. Validating. Repeating her words. Holding in my heart that she can do it but also acknowledging how hard it feels. Eventually she took a deep breathe and said. Mum, I can do it Me: I know you can, sweetheart And she rolled over and went to sleep. I expect there might be more of the same in the morning. I will listen again, we will do some jumping and dancing and regulating her body as we head to school. I’ll let you know how she goes!! #awareparenting #handinhandparenting #listening #childrenareamazing #nervoussystem #parentingbyconnection

24.01.2022 QUICK CONNECTION QUEST Before you walk out the door today or drop your child at school. Spend a minute telling them 10 things that you love about them.... Bonus if it includes a snuggle, hug or some physical contact. I just did this then and all of my kids had huge smiles on their faces and their bodies relaxed into the loving energy. Like a little love bath! Oh #lovebath I’m making this a thing now!! Can you bathe your children in more lovingness.

20.01.2022 What is Parenting By Connection

17.01.2022 21 DAYS of PLAY So last night I had the idea to run a short course for parents who would like to bring more play into their family life. Maybe you would like to respond more playfully?... Maybe you have a belief that you are not that playful. Or that the 'Other Parent' is the playful one? Maybe you are sick of reacting and yelling and would like to know of another way? Maybe you are fed up with the sibling squabbles, not listening and how hard it all feels? Well this course is for you. If you are new to these concepts and want want to know how we can use playfulness and connection rather than punishments and rewards then this is for you. If you have been on the conscious parenting journey for a few years and want some fresh ideas and daily reminders then I hope you would also find this helpful also. 21 days of play includes: Daily 10min FB Lives at 7am with a new game idea everyday. These will be a super quick touch point to start your day more playfully and have game ideas ready to go. Replays available to watch in your own time. 3 x Workshops in Zoom Tuesday evenings 7.30pm (Adelaide Time) These workshops will be a chance to bust some myths around playful parenting and our stories around 'Play'. Private FB Group This is where the lives will be delivered. Life time access to the group and content for future reference. A place to share with other like minded parents $97 for 21 days of connection and play. We start Saturday 5th Dec and will finish on Christmas Day. What a wonderful way to start the schools holidays. Link in the comments for those that wish to join me!

15.01.2022 QUICK CONNECTION QUEST Today is about connection to yourself. Not a small topic to be covered in a quick post I know, but are there ways that you can connect in with yourself today? It’s hard to give and connect to our children if we aren’t also looking after ourselves. ... Today I have all these things I ‘should’ be doing. There’s the breakfast dishes, there’s packing up our house ready to move out, there’s selections for the renovations, there my son’s 8yo birthday party, theres playing with my 2 year old and cleaning, washing, dishes... I have learnt from the lovely Marion Rose, Ph.D. about coercion and that when we are using these words ‘should’ or ‘have to’ then we are often using harsh judgments and societies perception and pressure to force ourselves into doing things while ignoring our own needs. Which means I can end up exhausted, tired, burnt out and resentful. So over the last few years I’ve learnt more enjoyable ways to support and nurture myself. A simple quick connection, to check in with what I am needing is to place my hand on my heart and ask myself: What do I need? When Marion first asked me this years ago, it was such a foreign concept. ‘What do I need??’ What do you mean? Confused and slightly shocked at someone asking what I needed. Today when I did this, I felt the need to hop into bed and have a cry. Yes, my kids were home, they were playing on the floor and I said Mummy just needs a few minutes to rest and have a cry. I am taking care of myself and you don’t have to worry. They continued to play while I had a big cry in my bed. Holding space for my feelings, journaling and writing, as all my worries poured out and my energy shifted. I use to think when I felt this way that there was something wrong with me. That I was the only one who ever felt like this. Now I know it’s normal. All our feelings are ok and welcomed. And these days I have wonderful practices to help with the processing. Lying here now, I’m feeling much better, my heart is softer. The tension has eased in my body, my foggy brain has cleared and now all the 100 overwhelming things from before seem easy!! So...on ruok day. Check in with your self and ask what do I need? If it’s support to get some help, who can you call? Is it a sleep, cup of tea, to read a book, exercise...Is there one small thing you can do for yourself today. What do you need? Ps if you want to find out more about the wonderful Marion Rose and her work in the world go to www.marionrose.net.

15.01.2022 If you have a child who has anxiety, or if you have anxiety. This is such a great perspective. I love how Aware parenting gives us a lens and understanding of ways to help our children through their anxiety. Wonderful stories and as always a wonderful listen. If you have some time have a listen to Lael Stone and Marion Rose’s podcast. The Aware Parenting podcast really is changing the world for so many families. ... I said today that this podcast and these two amazing women are a lighthouse on the days that the fog is thick. Xxx

15.01.2022 Our New Puppy and How I Work With Parents!

14.01.2022 QUICK CONNECTION QUEST I’ve just spent the day in the clinic and only just finished. How do you reconnect after not seeing your kids for the day?... It can be hard because as soon as you walk in the door they are at you. I know it can be frustrating when all you want to do is change your clothes, have some food and relax! My favourite thing to do when I get home, if I’m tired and don’t have a lot of energy to play, is to lie down on the floor. Yep lie down. I’ll lie down on the lounge room floor and announce that I’m tired and having a sleep. This does give me the chance to actually lie down for a few minutes but without a doubt I’ll have kids jumping on me, snuggling, cuddling and it’s the quickest way to get everyone back connected again. This game works well if kids are a bit stand off-ish when the working parent gets home and they don’t want to go to them. If whoever gets home (myself or my husband) plays this game it allows the kids to initiate the connection when they are ready. And it generally doesn’t take long. They WANT to reconnect. #connection #quickconnectionquest #awareparenting #parentingbyconnection

09.01.2022 QUICK CONNECTION QUEST I’m consciously upping the connection moments this week. It’s been a trying few weeks so it’s all about showing the love this week. Super quick things that we can do to increase connection and help fill our child’s (and partners) cup up so they really feel loved and seen. ... Today it’s a favourite game called 100 kisses. Announce in a playful tone Anyone wearing pjs (or insert whatever you want) is going to get 100 kisses. Then it becomes a game of chasey around the house, where you can’t quite catch them. When you do, plant a few kisses on them but then they get away. (The child is always in the more powerful role, so you can’t quite reach them or keep falling over). This will bring laughter and lightness and offers closeness and connection. This does not have to take long, 5mins of 100 kisses and it can really change the mood of everyone. I’m off to play it now!! My 5 year old is in her pjs and suddenly can’t dress herself. I know she can, she’s been dressing herself since she was 2. I could keep nagging. And getting frustrated. But I now know it’s a call for connection. Children won’t say mum I’m feeling a little worried about school today... They will say, I can’t get dressed or they will drag their feet, or show you via their behaviour. What they might be saying is Mum I need your help, I’m feeling a bit wobbly, can you connect with me. Quick connection, play a game of 100 kisses and then see how smoothly the morning goes. #quickconnectionquest #lovebath #awareparenting #parentingbyconnection

05.01.2022 Matthew, Thank you for being the most amazing father. I am so grateful we get to share this ride together. To my own father, thank you for always holding me. For encouraging me to follow my heart and my dreams. To all those who can’t be with their fathers in physical form, may you hold them in your heart and know their love lives inside of you.... Happy Father’s Day to all fathers. I hope you get to spend the day with those who fill your heart.

04.01.2022 What is Aware Parenting?

03.01.2022 SLOWING DOWN Do you have moments, weeks or months where you feel like you are just hanging in there? Where it feels like you’re just surviving. I feel like I’ve just come up for air after a big emotional and heartbreaking month. I shared on my personal page the other week that we were 12 weeks pregnant and had a miscarriage. It’s been a tough and painful experience but one I have and will continue to share openly as I feel it helps me heal and also helps others who have h...ad or having a similar experience. So what practices do you have in place for when life throws you a curve ball? These are some of mine: Slowing down as much as possible, taking the pressure off with food and cooking. Resting and noticing the small things like the sunshine on my skin or the grass under my feet. Talking and sharing with friends and mentors. Often crying and feeling all the feelings. CranioSacral Therapy sessions. This is a must for me, regular sessions keep my body centred. Acupuncture sessions. Again amazing at balancing the body. Journaling daily Meditation and mindfulness practices. I use to find slowing down and giving time to myself hard with children and a family, I get it, but these have been such important things for me to incorporate into my daily life. What are your favourite things to help come back into balance? Oh and a new Hair Cut helps too!!!

02.01.2022 If you are unsure what to say, here's what I say often to my children: "Im right here, sweetheart, I'm listening" It can be that simple (and also hard to do at times) but can make all the difference. ... I try not to fix the problem (this can be our default) and just be with them to listen to what's going on. If you close your eyes now, feel into your body and imagine a time you were upset as a child or even now as an adult. Imagine just enough to feel a sense of it in your body. You don't have to go all the way back there. Just imagine a time you were upset. Now imagine a parent, loved one, best friend sitting next to you calmly saying "Im right here, Im listening". What does that feel like in your body??? They aren't offering advice or trying to distract you from what you are feeling. They are simply being there with you, listening. We can offer our children a place where they feel heard, understood, seen, supported and a safe place to land when we open our ears, bodies and hearts to them and listen. If you have tried everything else with your child, then this is another option. "Im right here, Im listening" #awareparenting #handinhandparenting #listening #staylistening #consciousparenting See more