Sticks and Stones Counselling and Consultancy Services | Non-governmental organisation (NGO)

Sticks and Stones Counselling and Consultancy Services

Phone: +61 488 924 587

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24.01.2022 Pretty stoked for my company to be the offical team sponsor of the Redlands Open Womens Rugby League side for the 2020 season, which also happens to be the clubs 50th anniversary. My sponsorship allows all players on the team to keep their jerseys at the end of the season. The team is still after sponsors so if anyone is keen or knows any businesses that would be keen to sponsor please inbox me. We are the 2019 premiers for division 3 and this years sees us 2 wins from 2 games in division 2.

24.01.2022 Had the pleasure of meeting Toni today who cooked up a storm for one of my clients. 5 days worth of dinners for 5 people. Highly recommend Toni and her business which is also registered with NDIS! https://www.facebook.com/ih8cooking.redlands/

24.01.2022 Domestic Violence shared information because we have all experienced some form of DV within our relationships or family relationships

24.01.2022 This unfortunately reveals the true facts about online grooming and predatory behaviours which from dealing with this first hand occurs every day and in ways parents cannot comprehend no matter what literature is out there. This is by far the best video which is easy to understand about the net, kids, perpetrators, grooming behaviours and online offences being committed. A MUST WATCH https://www.facebook.com/100034597175182//240379270458644/

24.01.2022 Although today is a recognised day to celebrate children and young people and keeping them safe, this I believe should be celebrated everyday

23.01.2022 Im sure we all know about this but thought Id share again given the current circumstances surrounding TikTok

22.01.2022 New Business card reflecting new contact details

21.01.2022 Talk to your kids about these simple safety tips to help prevent being kidnapped ! Everyone should be having these conversations with your children. These easy to learn and very easy to utilize steps will help arm your child with the information they need to help them avoid the horrors of being kidnapped. Yes, we are WELL aware that statistically speaking only 1 in 10 children who are abused suffer that abuse at the hands of someone they do not know. However, we never want ...to forget about anyone who we can help prevent being abused. With that in mind we have assembled these easy tips from a post CrimeStoppers ran and a couple of our own, that you can talk to your kids about to help them avoid a situation where they are approached and the worst occurs. KEEPING OUR CHILDREN SAFE Talk to your children about these simple but important safety tips below: - Make sure your parents or another adult you know knows where you are at all times. - Always walk straight home or to the place you are walking to. Walk near busier roads and streets, or use paths where there are lots of other people. - Know where safe places are a shop, service station, police station, library or school. If you are ever frightened, you should go to one of these places and ask them to call the police. - Learn about safe adults you can look for and talk to if you need help police officers, teachers at school, adults you know and trust. - Don’t talk to people you don’t know and never get into a car with someone you don’t know. If a car stops on the side of the road and you don’t know the person inside, do not stop. - If you are scared and can use a phone, call 000 and tell them you are scared. - If someone tries to grab you, yell out, ‘Go away, I don’t know you’. This lets other people know you have been approached by someone you don’t know. - Mum or dad will NEVER send anyone that you do not know to pick you up from school, if it helps you could get a family code word so if they are being picked up the person must know the safe code word in order to gain the child’s trust. -Remember kidnappers lie ! they do not have a puppy, their food is not worth eating and mum or dad did not send anyone that the child does not know. - Teach your kids that just because someone knows their names does not mean they know them. Names can be learnt through social media or even on their school bags. -Do not post any information about your children on public forums. IE which school they go to, where you live ect ect. Be conscious about posting photos in school logos or photos in front of houses. - A child’s BEST self defence weapon is their voice ! teach them to scream LOUD scream confidently and scream if they even think they are in danger. **ALWAYS RING TRIPLE ZERO (000) IF YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN APPROACHED**

20.01.2022 10 Confronting Child Sexual Abuse Statistics- Fellow organisation Educate 2 Empower have put together these confronting yet very important statistics that every parent should know. 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 8 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday....Continue reading

19.01.2022 So very true. So often foster kids move between placements with all their worldly possessions in a garage back. This effects their self image and dignity. Suitcases provide heaps of space and makes foster kids that much more confident.

19.01.2022 A good understanding of trauma to age. This is not an extensive list but gives you a good idea

18.01.2022 Today is international suicide prevention day, a subject we should all be talking about and ensuring we are there for one another. I ask all of you are you OK? *** If you or anyone you know needs help ***... Lifeline on 13 11 14 Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800 MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978 Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 Headspace on 1800 650 890 ReachOut at au.reachout.com Care Leavers Australasia Network (CLAN) on 1800 008 774 For online counselling supports: www.counsellingonline.org.au/

18.01.2022 So very important to be open and honest with our kids!

18.01.2022 Helping kids understand consent starts with us! I’ve been teaching consent for years and have studied the importance of teaching consent to our kids early on. Teaching our kids these things helps reduce their vulnerability to abuse. These are some of the key themes that often come up in my work. I’ve summarized what is not helpful and what you can do instead below. Not helpful: Give nana a hug!... We don’t want to make them go against and not trust their internal instincts in terms of touching others. Helpful: Would you like to give grandma a hug? Respecting their answer if they say no. Not helpful: Tickling after they say stop. Helpful: Narrating out loud: You said stop! I hear you are done with tickling. We have a whole post coming out on tickling later this week (stay tuned) but if you do decide to tickle respect when your child says to stop. Not helpful: Telling them to keep secrets (even silly ones). Helpful: We don’t keep secrets in our family. If anyone tells you to keep a secret you let us know. We don’t want to normalize keeping secrets for our kids. We can have happy surprises like a surprise present or party, but we encourage kids that they don’t need to keep secrets and we are safe to share anything with. Not helpful: Making silly names for private parts. This is a tough one for many. Often we grew up with feeling shame for sharing the anatomically correct names of body parts and still feel this shame when talking with our kids. Helpful: Use anatomically correct names for body parts. Penis, vagina, vulva, breasts, nipples are not bad words. We don’t call our elbow our little bo-bo, and we don’t need to call a penis a wee-wee. Practice saying these words if you are still uncomfortable saying them. Hope this helps you in your journey of creating a consent culture in your home! See more

17.01.2022 https://www.facebook.com/1943258269309425/posts/2190284171273499?vh=e&d=n&sfns=mo

16.01.2022 Courtesy of Queensland Health. What's on your self-care menu this week? To make the decision even easier for you, work out how much time you have to spare and choose an activity accordingly.

16.01.2022 Fantastic ad from the Victorian government to educate people on autism. Click on the links within the post to have all those questions you may have about autism answered. https://www.facebook.com/574855336/posts/10158320569205337/

15.01.2022 https://www.facebook.com/252137858221311/posts/2526356120799462/?d=n

14.01.2022 Child abuse is not a bad choice done by good people to children who asked for it It is a shocking self centred decision done by abhorrent cowards to children who are completely innocent and left hurt and forever scarred, but not broken by the act ! Choices - we all make them every day, sometimes simple little things like whether or not to have an extra cup of coffee and sometimes much bigger things - things that have the power to affect us and others for a very long tim...e. We often hear of cases where a person is before the courts for committing crimes and using their past as an excuse for that. I personally can well understand if someone is claiming that abuse they suffered has led them to an addiction, that at least makes sense, but when someone claims that they were abused as a child and that has led them to abuse children, I really lose all sympathy, empathy and understanding for that person. Thankfully, some magistrates are starting to condemn such claims also. The abuse of a child, in any form, is never okay or justifiable. There are no mitigating factors that make it less reprehensible and there is no way that any child was ever "asking for it". To me, if you were abused as a child and then you have abused a child or children then your sentence should be even harsher. If you have lived that crushing, soul destroying, gut wrenching horror how could you possibly choose to inflict it upon another child? Child abuse is never an accident - you dont accidentally rape, bash, torture, torment or otherwise harm a child. Accidents are things that cant be avoided, child abuse can be avoided if the adults take responsibility for their own actions. To hear someone say things like "Oh but he/she is a good person," "they are of good character," and so forth, is as ridiculous as it is disgusting. If you can make the choice to abuse a child, you are NOT of good character, you are NOT a good person, you are NOT deserving of our pity or understanding. No child abuse is ever okay. (GE) #notofgoodcharacter #noexcuses #breakthecycle #bethechange #saveourkids #allaboutattitudes #voiceforthevoiceless #FACAA #ProudFACAA #NSW #NSWPOL #NSWPolice #Choices #GoodPeopleDontAbuseChildren #NotAPoorChoice #GuardiansOfTheInnocent #VoiceForTheVoiceless #HopeForTheHopeless #ChildrensChampions #EndingChildAbuse #RaisingAwareness #ChangingLives #HealingSurvivors #ChangingLaws #Legal #Law #LegalReform #JuliasJustice #PhoenixProgram #WeWillFight #StandUp #FromHellWeRise

14.01.2022 This year National Child Protection Week will celebrate its 30th year with the theme: Putting children first Putting children first was front of mind when the National Child Protection Week campaign was launched in 1990, with the aim of bringing abuse and neglect out of the shadows and putting child wellbeing on the national agenda.... Since then, the need to put children first has been recognised time and time again as an important pillar for boosting the wellbeing of all children in Australia. Last years National Child Protection Week campaign was based on research that shows the importance of putting children first when talking about parenting, and continued the message that conversations are a key part of engaging the whole community in caring for children. Under this years theme of Putting children first we invite all Australians to look at how they can prioritise children in their lives and communities and to engage in National Child Protection Week as individuals, and as part of families, organisations, communities and society. Putting children first means prioritising the safety and wellbeing of children. To grow up well children need to feel safe and loved, have a chance to play and explore, have a say in decisions that affect them, and access to essential things like food, shelter and healthcare. For children to thrive we need to come together as a community and put childrens needs first during National Child Protection Week and every week. Please feel free to use the theme in the way that resonates best for you. This might mean promoting the things we are already doing (or can do) right now to put childrens safety and wellbeing first. It might mean reflecting on the past 30 years of how our communities have been putting children first. It might mean looking ahead and thinking about where we need to focus our attention into the future. Or perhaps a bit of all of the above.

14.01.2022 What to do if your child tells you that they have been abused... A MUST read for all parents and carers ! We get a lot of messages from people who have recently learned that a child close to them has been, or is being, abused.... Those first few conversations with a child who opens up to us can be critical, especially the initial one. Many people feel absolute horror when a child discloses abuse to them, and that is normal, especially because the child is usually someone close to us and the abuser is often someone we know, or even love. If you ever have been in a position where you told someone about being abused yourself, whether you were a child or an adult at the time, try to remember what helped or didnt help you about their reactions. There are a few main points to remember when you are faced with a child trusting you with information about their abuse. * Try to remain calm, at least outwardly. A panicked or angry reaction could make the child close up again. * Make sure that nothing you say or do makes the child feel that the abuse was their fault, reassure them that they have done nothing wrong and that they didnt in any way deserve the abuse. * Tell the child that you believe them and that you are glad they had the courage to tell you. * Be comforting, tell the child that you will help them. * Do everything you can to ensure the safety of both the child and yourself. * Be understanding of the fact that the child may not know the correct terms for things like body parts or specific acts. Dont try to correct their language or terms. * As soon as possible report what the child has told you to the relevant authorities. * Dont push the child for more information or make any suggestions about what happened. * Dont act shocked, disgusted or doubtful. * Dont use words that may frighten the child such as rape, child abuse or jail. * Dont confront the abuser, letting them know that the child has said anything could place the child at extreme risk of harm and could also jeopardise any legal action. * Dont make comments or posts to social media about what you have been told - again this could place the child at further risk and jeopardise legal proceedings. * If at all possible, try to ensure that a trusted person or advocate will be with the child when they have to make their statement to police or other authorities. A child may only ever tell one person about what has happened to them, if you are that one person that they trust enough to tell, do your very best to support and protect them. Too many cases go unheard because a child was not believed or their disclosure was handled badly. (GE)

13.01.2022 We sometimes forget that these children were the most vulnerable before they came into care, however continue to be even more vulnerable when in care. Yes of course they have behaviours etc but what else would you expect if this was your environment from birth?

12.01.2022 A good set of questions to illicit answers from our kids and create good conversations

11.01.2022 Nothing wrong with seeking help. More hands to help resolved and understand the trauma make light work!

10.01.2022 Child Safety staff have an incredibly important and challenging job. This article from the ABC sets out just how challenging it can be. https://www.facebook.com/66629370972/posts/10157703358360973/?d=n

09.01.2022 PLEASE NOTE MOBILE NUMBER CHANGE FOR THE OFFICE. ITS NOW 0488 924 587 Email remains the same

06.01.2022 I believe that sexual abuse should be spoken about and not locked away as if its a dirty secret. In today society unfortunately we know that sexual abuse is one of the highest crimes committed yet it appears that it something we dont speak about.

05.01.2022 https://www.facebook.com/752588035/posts/10157063297993036/

04.01.2022 Proud to be the major sponsor of the Redlands Open Womens Rugby League Team for 2020. This group of ladies train and work hard and are an inspiration to the younger girls coming through the ranks in SEQ. If anyone is interested in playing with the team training is on Tuesdays and Thursday from 630pm to 730pm at Pinklands Sporting Complex Thornlands. Redlands played Aspley in the premiership Comp on Sunday with the score ending up 16 all. Great result from the team who had only trained once as a team and played a side who have always been a division 2 team!

04.01.2022 Celebrating National Children’s Week. I may not be a mum but I love my job helping young kids have a voice, I love being able to make them safe and feel believed. If only all parents felt the same way

03.01.2022 Intergenerational impact of family violence. How can violence affect a child? Exposure to violence can harm a childs emotional, psychological and even physical development. Empirical studies on children and their mothers exposed to family violence have shown that children exposed to daily violence are more likely to have difficulty in school, abuse drugs or alcohol, act aggressively, suffer from depression or other mental health problems and engage in criminal behaviour a...s adults. Intergenerational impact of family violence studies look at the prevalence of childhood abuse and intimate partner violence in a cohort of new mothers. This particular study (Gartland, Giallo, Woolhouse, Mensah & Brown,. 2019) investigated a cohort of women and the association with their postpartum physical and mental health, and their own childrens emotional-behavioural difficulties at 4 years of age. Data was taken from the Maternal Health Study, a longitudinal study of 1,507 women recruited during pregnancy in Victoria. The study found high rates of violence in the lives of these mothers, with two out of five reporting abuse in childhood and almost one in three reporting intimate partner violence during the first four years of motherhood, with increased rates of poor physical and mental health. In turn, higher levels of such adversity and poor health in mothers was associated with a higher risk of emotional-behavioural difficulties in their children. Source: https://aifs.gov.au//intergenerational-transmission-abuse- #thecycleneedstobreak #domesticabuse #familyabuse #monkeyseemonkeydo #generationalabuse #generational-trauma #stoptheviolence #ourchildrenarewatching #takeresponsibiltyasadults #ournextgeneration #theredflagsdv

03.01.2022 I would love to wish all my followers a very Merry Christmas and New Year, remain safe and enjoy your time with loved ones. Anyone doing it solo can reach out as Im happy to catch up. Bring on 2020

03.01.2022 https://www.facebook.com/279893602394172/posts/1005992919784233/?d=n

02.01.2022 Lets help break the generational curse

01.01.2022 "Family violence is more than just a bad relationship. It’s when one person dominates or controls their family members. The abuser uses intimidation, fear and abuse to maintain that control."

01.01.2022 Feeling sad and overwhelmed. I have felt that many times in my life. It does not have to be this way. I found counselling changed my perspective. Check in with your GP or your counsellor today and know you arent alone

01.01.2022 A little food for thought. As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes w...Continue reading