Thayer Psychology Services in Croydon, Victoria, Australia | Doctor

Thayer Psychology Services

Locality: Croydon, Victoria, Australia

Phone: +61 411 105 605

Address: 209 Mt Dandenong Road 3136 Croydon, VIC, Australia

Website: http://www.thayerpsychologyservices.com.au

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21.01.2022 Sometimes this is easy to forget... #letusremember

20.01.2022 Stay Strong! Skype sessions available upon request

20.01.2022 Launch of the Vic Autism Plan: Today Minister Donnellan launched this Plan after many year’s of us all advocating for our community. Pictured are the Autism Ad...visory Group with the Minister and DHHS representatives. Thank you to everyone in this collaborative effort- and congratulations! This is just a start hopefully as many gaps to fill...especially in education & employment for Aspies:- Here’s the link- http://www.statedisabilityplan.vic.gov.au/victorian-autism-

13.01.2022 Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) There is a movement in Europe to recognize a small subset of autism that is extremely resistant to any and all daily demands... as well as following the lead of others. Their anxiety is so severe that they are apprehensive in all daily activity and must control everything to them and around them. This behavior profile within the autism spectrum has been labeled Pathological Demand Avoidance. These children are usually bright, very social (but lack good relating skills), creative, good role-playing and pretending, and good at manipulating out of daily demands and expectations. Although PDA is not yet an official diagnosis, it is steadily gaining acceptance and hopefully will be included as a subset under that Autism Spectrum Disorders. It is not the intent of this book to provide a comprehensive description of PDA, but readers can easily find current books and websites devoted to this profile by googling Pathological Demand Avoidance. Also, not all autistic children with severe avoidance and anxiety have PDA (due to other defining symptoms), but the suggestions below, based on my experience, should apply to any autistic child with severe anxiety and avoidance. For children with severe avoidance, their anxiety overwhelms every aspect of their day. Their world must be just right, entirely predictable, and totally under their control to feel safe and competent. Fear of uncertainty and strong feelings of inadequacy render them constantly anxious, insecure, and resistant to all influences of others. They need to control everything around them to keep it predictable and according to their expectations. For most of us, the children’s behavior can seem so unpredictable. You can be offering the child something that they like or a preferred event and still get strong resistance, demanding, and aggressive behavior. No matter what you try, it doesn’t work. Even when allowed to lead and control, they still might meltdown at the least little snag. Why? Why would the child meltdown when they are given what they want or allowed to do what they desire? Fear of uncertainty. These children need to know exactly what to expect and what is expected of them. Preview events ahead of time to provide a mental map of what is going to happen, how long it is going to be, and what is expected of them. Especially if it is a new, unfamiliar event. The more novel, unfamiliar or vague the event is the more anxiety and chances of melting down. Unexpected events. The child’s security is based on the understanding and predictability of their immediate world. What is occurring around them must match their expectation. Unexpected changes collapse their sense of safety and security. Even if what you present is something that they desire, if they were not expecting it and were not mentally prepare for it, their fragile security falls apart. This can happen if there is a snag in what is expected, something is postponed or delayed or if there is a small variation to a familiar activity. When the course of events does not occur as expected, the whole picture collapses. This can happen even in events that seem to be going along just as expected. However, if some small part is different and not according to expectation, the child can immediately react as if the whole event has fallen apart. Need to control. The child fears uncertainty and needs to control everything to make it predictable and safe. They do not trust following the lead of the adult and resists any attempt from us to direct, instruct, or lead them. Even if the event is something they like and is previewed adequately, if they are directed by someone else they will get anxious. So, when the child is resistant, first look to see how much control you are exerting over the activity. Ask yourself, if you are the child, would you feel in control of what is happening? This is very hard for adults because we want to be in control and lead. We want to guide, direct and instruct. But the more we try the more resistant the child becomes. Must initiate the event. Immediate negative reaction to anything initiated by others. Even if the children can pace and lead the activity, if it is not initiated by them, they will still feel anxious. If it wasn’t their idea and initiated by them, they may still resist. This resistance will occur even if what you are requesting is something the child likes. Because it is initiated by someone else, it is not safe. Performance anxiety. You do everything above, let the child do what they want, let them lead, previewed expectations ahead of time, and let them dictate every element of the event, and the child still freaks!! Why? These children have strong task performance anxiety. It makes sense that when we place an expectation on them, they feel strong performance anxiety and feel put on the spot. So, we place minimal demands and let them control, and they still get upset! What gives? Whether the expectation is placed by others or themselves, it still represents performance anxiety. If their performance is not going as planned and matches their expectation, they will become highly anxious and lose control. Usually, they have a very strong fear of failure and perfectionism. When a little slip-up occurs, they fall apart. Making things worse, these children are often very poor in appraising what is needed and how to monitor their performance. They often jump in feeling they can do it and at the first snag or problem fall apart, blame others, become demanding and sabotage the much-desired event. Feeling inadequate and failure sets them up for increased anxiety the next time. Strong social anxiety. The more people the child must regulate during the event, the greater the anxiety. Problems reading the nonverbal communication of others, understanding the intentions and perspectives of others, reading the invisible social rules of the situations, and understanding what others expect makes interacting very unpredictable and stressful. This is hard enough when they are just relating to one person but greatly falls apart if it is a group event. Birthday parties, holiday get-togethers, and other group activities can be a disaster. Too much uncertainty, vague expectations, and unpredictable actions, and the child becomes overwhelmed. Sensory overload. Since many of these children have sensory sensitivities and problems integrating multiple sensations, the greater the sensory stimulation (noise, sights, smells, movement, and activity), the more overwhelmed they become. The more involved the activity (people, activity, expectations), the more sensory integration is required. Simply too much coming in too fast. Also, the more anxious the child becomes, the more sensitive he is to the stimulation around him. What happens for the child? If any of these seven elements are present, anxiety will increase. The more variables that occur, the greater the anxiety. If something occurs unexpectedly, the child does not know how to respond, what to say, or what to do. If the child cannot control everything and direct exactly what is going on, then the uncertainty becomes frightening and overwhelming. The adults may try making everything as desirable as possible for the child, but they cannot control all these variables. The child is consistently inconsistent. They may do fine one time and completely meltdown the next. They may appear to be having fun and instantly fall apart. They may be enjoying your company one minute and kicking and hitting you the next. Our anxiety and emotions escalate and so does theirs. Much is the life for the ASD child with severe anxiety and/or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). They are the most fragile and vulnerable children. They are also the most frustrating for parents and teachers to support. Every typical parenting and teaching strategy falls apart. Every single person around the child, as well as the child himself, feels entirely inadequate. The intent here is to outline some of the rigid comfort zones (need for predictability, control, perfect performance, and minimal social regulation) that come into play in each daily activity for the child. In analyzing each negative outcome, we must look at these seven variables and appraise which ones created the problems and design strategies for helping to lessen their impact. We must then learn to appraise events ahead of time to see how each of these seven variables will come into play and how we will accommodate for them. The more we understand the comfort zones of the child and what variables shake these comfort zones, the more we understand why the child is resisting and how we can support him. Just remember, when the tide turns, and the child is falling apart, his world is crumbling, becoming overwhelmed and immediately panics. The more resistant the child, the more scared and inadequate the child feels. A tidal wave of emotions overwhelm the thinking part of their brain, and all hell breaks loose. The children are trying to cope as best as they can. Think for one minute. If your sense of safety and security were so fragile and dependent on these seven variables being predictable, every daily activity would be frightening. Be patient with both the child and yourself. Very difficult challenges that test the best of all of us. This article was published in the brown book, The Autism Discussion Page on stress, anxiety, shutdowns and meltdowns https://www.amazon.com///178592804X/ref=pd_rhf_ee_p_img_5

11.01.2022 W s’ s ? Because he has her so brainwashed that it’s all her fault and that she’s no good to anyone and no one will want her or love her and there...’s no way she can possibly make it on her own. W s’ s ? Because she thinks that if she just tries harder and if she’s a better wife and a better mom that maybe he will be happy with her and he wouldn’t get so angry with her. And maybe he will be the same sweet, charming man that he was when they first met. W s’ s ? Because he has her convinced that if she tries he will hurt or kill her or her family. Because he has threatened to tell the judge that she is a bad mom and will take away her kids and she will never see them again. Because he has taken away her money and convinced her that she has no good job qualities to make it on her own financially and she will always need him. More people are concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship people have no idea how hard it is to escape. Abusers are able to fool those outside the home because they usually only abuse those inside the home. They need your support. They need your love. They do not need your judgement. Let’s raise awareness

06.01.2022 I have not looked at this yet but thought I would share anyway

03.01.2022 If you know autism you'll understand how beautiful this meaning is