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The Courage Project

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25.01.2022 PLAYFULNESS . Last week I participated in a 4 day training on how to run a successful workshop. On the third day we had to come with our faces painted. Normally I would’ve rolled my eyes at something like this. I would’ve written it off as a waste of time, an annoyance... whilst deep down I would be feeling uncomfortable, self-conscious and silly. . This time though, having embraced playfulness, I was excited about it, happy for the opportunity to be a bit silly and have some... fun, not taking myself too seriously. . Playfulness enhances our curiosity and creativity leading to better decision making skills as well as reducing stress and anxiety. It also helps us to build better relationships and improves our ability to solve problems. . George Bernard Shaw said We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. I’ve definitely noticed how much more confident and relaxed I am since embracing playfulness. . And play doesn’t have to cost anything... I’ve found that some of the most fun times I’ve had are when it’s been absolutely free. Mars and I often dance around the house in the weirdest ways possible just to make ourselves and each other laugh. One day we spent about 20 mins laughing like kids about making strange sounds blowing into a bottle. . Do you have a story about a time you laughed like a kid? I’d love to hear the ways you have fun and embrace play in your household. Feel free to share below See more

24.01.2022 MISSING NEW YORK . Just over a year ago I visited my wife’s hometown for the first time. We were supposed to be going back to Brooklyn for Christmas this year but obviously that will have to wait a little longer. . I couldn’t have imagined the feeling I’d get from being in NY, it’s truly a city like no other... so many possibilities, so many authentically unique characters, so much variety and choice and of course that beautiful mix of greenery amongst buildings.... . One of my dreams is to live between Melbourne and New York and this goal is one that puts a fire in my belly and keeps me going when things get tough. . If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? . This beautiful image via @yorkavenue_ See more

24.01.2022 DO YOU KNOW YOUR LEADERSHIP STYLE? . There’s a misconception that leaders are born, not created. Yes, some people are naturally better wired to lead, BUT leadership is a skill, and skills can be learned. So which skills do you need to learn to become a great leader? . Well, that all depends on what your current skills, talents and stretches are. We’re all unique and we’re all wired in different ways. Having a deep understanding of your inbuilt leadership style, your inner wor...kings, your core drivers, how you respond to change, fear and pressure helps you to manage yourself and adapt to certain situations. . Did you notice how so many people responded differently to COVID? Some took it on as a challenge and chose ways to pivot their business, some panicked and hoarded toilet paper, some were in denial and decided to wait it out, and some went straight into research mode to find out how best to respond. . One of the factors that influences how we respond to things is our leadership (or behavioural) style. . There are 4 archetypes that describe the 4 main leadership styles: - Warrior - Entertainer - Mother - Technician . When you know which one’s your natural style you know exactly what your strengths and stretches are, and how to adapt and evolve into the best leader you can be. This gives you a sense of true power and confidence, not in an egotistical sense, but in an empowered sense that inspires those around you to become leaders too. . To discover your hidden leadership style head to the link in my bio and download your free mini behavioural profile. See more

24.01.2022 A PERFECT MATCH . When Mars and I first met I felt like my whole body was on fire. I wasn’t sure what was going on but I new it was something big, something important, something special. . The circumstances weren’t ideal for starting a relationship, apart from the fact that we lived on opposite sides of the globe, I was married and she’d just bought a house - but the feeling was something we couldn’t deny.... . When we parted at the airport, I said I love you and I’ll see you soon. 8 weeks later she flew out to Australia to see if this really was what we imagined it to be. It was more. Way more . It hasn’t been an easy road... long distance, visas, co-parenting, attachment issues, enmeshment, and then all the usual stuff that comes up when you put two people from different backgrounds with different families of origin and different personalities and behavioural styles and blah blah blah together. Shit gets real... one person’s stuff bumps up against the other’s. . But even in our vows we foretold this. We wrote them separately and yet we touched on the same points. We both talked about trying, and giving each other space and that’s what we’ve done. We’re not two halves that make a whole but two whole people that create something unique together. . We didn’t want to create a stock-standard marriage. We wanted to create something real, something vulnerable, something that represented our shared values. . This year we’ve been called to live into that more than we could’ve imagined. We’ve been pushed to grow and evolve and the pressure has created something raw and beautiful. I feel so much more connected, supported, loved, seen, valued than I ever have before. I’ve laughed more, cried more, felt more. This first year of marriage has shown me what it truly means to be with another human, as a human... truly living. I can’t ask for more than that. This union is absolutely the ultimate experience that even I couldn’t have imagined! See more

23.01.2022 WELCOME BACK MELBOURNE!!! . I can’t express how good it feels to be out and about in Melbourne. . The wife and I saved up for this moment. We have a play together savings account where we put aside money to do fun stuff together.... . Our pick for the month is the oyster bar at @atlanticgroup and the seafood platter is on point! Best oysters I’ve ever tasted! #ratched (if you know, you know). . Anyway, my point is that saving doesn’t have to be boring and depriving... if you’re careful with how you spend (and save) your money you can still enjoy the finer things, whilst planning for the long term. . To find out how to enjoy life whilst planning for the future sign up for Women + Wealth via the link in my bio. See more

23.01.2022 Have you ever noticed that when you’re desperate for something it often seems to move further away from you? Whereas when you’re playing it cool everything flows? I noticed it recently in my business, I got a new client and then in the space of two weeks I picked up five others... they just seemed to be rolling in. But whenever I’m desperate to make something work no matter how hard I pushed it just didn’t. It seems the closer I become to my true self, the more aligned I am...... the more successful I become. But when I come from a place of scarcity and desperation... crickets! . Suze Orman says when you’re powerful everyone’s attracted to you. People are attracted to power. People want to be around people who make them feel powerful. When you’re powerless no one wants to be around you. Debt makes you the most powerless in life. Debt is bondage. You will never feel powerful when you’re in debt. . And I wholeheartedly agree! Clearing my debt fills me with a sense of responsibility, empowerment and commitment to self. And to do this I had to release a lot of shame around my debt by accepting where I was at and actively making a choice to change it by recognising that I could, that I was worth financial freedom... abundance even. . I also had to rewrite my money stories. I used to think that money was the root of all evil and that people who had money were egotistical and selfish. But, according to Suze Orman money is a physical manifestation of who you are - money can’t do anything without you. People control money. Money just makes us more of what we already are... if we’re an asshole, money will amplify that but if we’re kind and compassionate money allows us to make a bigger positive impact on the world. Let’s empower ourselves in every way, including financially See more

22.01.2022 WHO LOVES WONDER WOMAN??? . I’ll be honest... I’m not a proper fan who’s been with her from the comic book days (that’s my wife Mars’ thing). But when Warner Brothers released the 2017 movie I jumped on the bandwagon and rode it all the way to town. . I’d just had the most intense year of my life that required me to delve to the very depths of my being and draw on every possible strength I had to survive, physically and emotionally. Seeing, represented on the big screen, a st...rong woman who was smart and compassionate as well as funny filled me with inspiration and empowerment. . Why am I talking about Wonder Woman? Because I discovered yesterday that Wonder Woman was created by the same man, William Moulton-Marston, who developed the DISC theory that’s behind the behaviour profiling tool which I’m now internationally accredited to unpack. . Moulton-Marston identified four main behavioural dimensions: . - Compliance - Dominance - Influence - Steadiness . Most people have a combination of 2-3 of the four dimensions with only 1% of the population having only 1 behavioural dimension. Only one person (to my knowledge) has all 4 and that’s Wonder Woman. . Which makes sooooo much sense as to why we all love her! . Interesting fact... we all have a natural behavioural profile which we were born with but due to conditioning etc. often what we present to the world is different to our who we truly are. . This phenomenal tool cuts right to the chase and demonstrates our unconscious behavioural patterns, giving us a deeper appreciation and understanding of how we’re wired and how we work. What’s even cooler is that it shows us how to improve how we deal with change and uncertainty. It also shows us how to improve how we connect with ambiguity and best of all how to improve our personal and professional relationships. . If you like finding out about yourself and doing profiles like human design, Myers Briggs and the enneagram you’re going to LOVE this! Behaviour profiling is like personality profiling on and I can’t wait to share more about it with you!!! See more

21.01.2022 HANDS UP IF YOU OFTEN FEEL INDECISIVE . You're not alone. Without an understanding of your personality and behavioural style it's pretty hard to know how to best spend your time. And even if you know exactly what your personality and behavioural style are, you may not have the tools and strategies to learn how to manage time effectively. . Ildi Racz is a time management specialist, meaning she's studied time, understands it and how to use it well. And guess what? She's s...haring her wisdom in our upcoming workshop "The Secret To Why You Don't Have Enough Time". . I'll be joining Ildi to share my knowledge on how personality and behavioural styles impact how we spend our time and we'd love you come along. . Head to the link in my bio to find out more about how you can make your time work for you so you can look back on your life and feel proud of how you chose to spend your time. See more

19.01.2022 How often did you hear treat others how you’d like to be treated when you were growing up? Or for all the Catholics... do unto others as you would have them do unto you. . As far as I knew this was the golden rule and (prior to embracing my real self) I was an avid rule follower... so much that I wouldn’t even jaywalk in a deserted street with no one around . . One of the things that I’ve come to understand about myself is that I’m not a follower. Rules (for rules sake...) make me feel constrained and if I think there’s a better way I’m going to push for that. Of course if the rules are there to serve the greater good or help me to get where I want to go, I’ll follow them. . I’ve been reflecting on the old idea of treating people how I like to be treated and the more emotionally intelligent I become the more I realise how different we all are. So applying the rules that work for us to someone else is a recipe for disaster. . This is why I feel it’s so important to have a clear understanding of who you are, what works for you and what doesn’t. Awareness is the first step. After that you need to have really clear boundaries and the ability to express and hold them. If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries or meet your needs it’s okay to distance yourself from that person. Lastly, you need to get curious about others, who they really are, what works for them, what doesn’t, what they need and how you can meet that for them. . The old way of doing things is on its way out. Let’s learn a new way of being, a better way of interacting... it’s time to evolve and create the new normal. . Pop a below if you’re on board and share what the new normal means to you. See more

18.01.2022 MY BIGGEST FEAR EVER... . I often think about how I’ll look back on my life. Whether I’ll be proud of the choices I’ve made and this is a huge motivator for me. One of the only things I know I have control over is how I use my time... what I spend it on, who I give it to and where I waste it. . I used to waste a lot of time... reinventing wheels, starting new projects that weren’t in alignment with my goals, and of course in bottomless scroll holes. I was constantly busy bu...t not really achieving anything. . It wasn’t until I gained a deeper understanding of how I related to time and became more aware of myself that I was able to change it. . I’ve achieved more in my business, and personal life this year than in any other year. And not only am I proud of those achievements, I also feel like I’ve truly lived. I’ve been way more present, experienced more gratitude and felt more connection than ever before. . And I can put it all down to my awareness of how I spend my time. . Pop a below if you worry about where your time goes... See more

14.01.2022 Who else gets knots in their stomach when they think about debt? . I was getting close to debt free at one point in my life and then fell back into old habits and wound up in more debt than I’d started with. . I felt so tied down by debt and frustrated with myself that I decided to do something about it and am now working towards becoming debt free.... . In all honesty, it was really uncomfortable to face the reality of my situation but after taking some simple steps towards financial freedom I feel so much better... . empowered responsible confident secure . These are my new feelings around money and I can honestly say that facing the reality is far less uncomfortable than ignoring my money situation. . If this resonates with you pop a below... See more

12.01.2022 CONFIDENCE . Is confidence something you feel you’re lacking in? Do you avoid doing things because you’re not confident enough? Would you like more confidence? . This was me for most of my life. When I was in primary school people thought I was stuck up because I didn’t talk to them. It wasn’t that I was stuck up though... I was shy! And not just a little shy, I was terrified of people. I was so self conscious that the thought of talking to someone I didn’t know would cause m...y whole body to shake. I look back on my childhood with sadness because there’s so much I missed out on because I was lacking confidence... sport, trying out for the play, making new friends. . Often people say no regrets but it’s because of regrets that I’ve worked so hard to build confidence as an adult. And confidence must be built, it’s not something you find... we don’t just stumble across it randomly... we have to cultivate it. . Lately I’ve had so many people tell me how much more confident I seem and I’ve noticed it too! Knowing that I can handle anything, that I can do hard things is probably one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced. It means I can have a go at anything so I’m constantly growing. Having confidence means I’m less likely to compare myself too so I get to experience gratitude and pride on a regular basis. And I’ve got far more energy because I’m not worrying about what others think or getting trapped in shame spirals. . So how do we build confidence? I believe it’s about continuously stretching ourselves, pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones, embracing awkwardness and discomfort, realising it’s part of the process and allowing ourselves to get familiar with it. Another really important factor to consider when building confidence is commitment to self. When we back out of things we’ve said we’ll do we often lose self trust and it destroys our self esteem. But when we show up for ourselves and do what we said we’d do we know we can trust ourselves. And if we can count on ourselves we become unstoppable. . What would you do if you were more confident? See more

09.01.2022 This year I’ve used my time exceptionally well and terribly badly . How about you?

08.01.2022 RELATIONSHIP RITUALS . A while back my wife, Mars, and I had a chat about our shared values and two of our top 3 are exploration and connection. We both love to travel and try new things, connecting over indulgent experiences, particularly in new places. . This extended lockdown that Melbourne’s having has put a stop to any travel for a while but that doesn’t mean we can’t still live out our values.... . One of my mentors @sharon.pearson.official shared a ritual that her and her husband have each week... they visit a different country each week through food, music and themed dress... all within their own home. . Mars and I loved this idea and decided to model it as part of our mission to become more emotionally intimate. Last week I asked Mars where she’d like to go and of course she said Italy - I could’ve put money on that. So I asked her what that meant to her... spaghetti bolognese, caprese salad, red wine, garlic bread and Dean Martin playing in the background. . We had a ball cooking together, enjoying our meal, chatting over dinner, and what I think she loved most was me letting go of perfectionism and micromanaging in the kitchen and instead just honouring what she wanted (even if garlic bread isn’t technically Italian ). . We’re so grateful to have the guidance of those who’ve done the work so we can follow their example and build a relationship full of love and connection. This is now one of our new rituals... next week we’re off to Paris. Taking meal suggestions below See more

07.01.2022 MY HEART ACHES FOR HIM . It dawned on me the other day that I’m only halfway through 5 months of not seeing my boy. The weight of that realisation has been so bloody heavy that it’s almost unbearable. . Henry went up to Queensland to be with his Dad in the July school holidays and due to the sever restrictions in Melbourne (and the difficulty Henry had during the first lockdown) we made the tough decision to let him finish out the school year up there. My mind ran through eve...ry excuse, reason and justification as to why he should come back but ultimately my heart knew that staying with his Dad was the best choice. . Brené Brown talks about the halfway point (e.g. day 2 of a 3 day training), where you’re right in the thick of it and can’t yet see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s just tough and there’s not much we can do about that, we just need to go through it. . This is not a scenario where I can suppress my feelings, or mask them with addictions like work and Netflix, I’ve just had to process them when I have time so there have been moments where I’ve gone into his room and curled up on his bed sniffing his sheets and sobbing. There have been times after a phone call with him where I simply have to sit with the pain of not being able to hug or play with my little guy. If I watch anything on TV with children I find I’m so much more affected. Avoiding these feelings is not an option because if I do they’ll just spill out in other ways or worse, be stored in my body and manifest as illness. . Despite the challenge of all this I’m so grateful that: Henry’s able to avoid the challenges of the second lockdown He gets to bond with his Dad I’m able to focus on my business I get quality time with my wife I’m able to see things from my ex-husband’s perspective and work towards an amicable co-parenting relationship Henry is able to roam free, go to school as normal and experience all his Dad and step mum have to offer him I get to evolve through this experience . To all those who’ve acknowledged how hard this is and held space for my pain, thank you - you are truly appreciated. See more

07.01.2022 IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF EVERYONE WAS THE SAME. . Come on, I know you’ve wished this too . We all have, in some regard. People can be confusing and sometimes we just can’t work out why. Although it seems like it might be better if we were all the same (less misunderstandings and miscommunications) we’d tire of it pretty quickly. Uniqueness makes things interesting and complex, rich and diverse, entertaining and exciting. . When we understand ourselves and each other we ...have more compassion, feel more connected and have far less conflict. EDISC theory is one of the ways we can gain a deeper awareness of what makes each other tick, what scares us and what we value. . EDISC is a behavioural profiling tool that helps us understand personality and behavioural styles. When we pick up on the cues people give us we can adjust our behaviour accordingly to meet their needs - which is really helpful in any relationship - be it personal or professional. . There are four main styles in EDISC Theory, each with their own unique traits as illustrated in the graphics. Save this post for the next time you want to check on some clues you think someone’s giving off and you’ll start to feel like you can read minds. . To download your free mini behavioural profile exercise head to the link in my bio. See more

06.01.2022 OR WHAT WE SPEND IT ON . That's right, did you know some people are "task focused" and some "people focused"? . All humans are wired for connection, but some more so than others - and if you understand which type you are then you can spend your time accordingly. This means you'll feel more satisfied and fulfilled because you're living in alignment with your values.... . This is just one of the elements Ildi Racz and I will be covering in our upcoming workshop "The Secret To Why You Don't Have Enough Time". . Head to the link below to register before the early bird offer closes tonight! https://thetimefix.com.au/secret-to-why-you-dont-have-enou/

04.01.2022 CHAMPAGNE TASTE ON A BEER BUDGET . Just because I’m saving doesn’t mean I have to miss out on all the fun. My wife and I wanted to relive our first date this weekend... Maine lobster rolls with Prosecco. We could’ve ordered in but, as with all of our purchases lately, we decided to weigh up what we wanted to spend our money on. We have an account called play together which we put a portion of money into each week in order to spend on things we love to do rather than taking ...that money out of our daily expenses account. . Since we’re saving up for a special date once restrictions are fully lifted so we want to keep some money in our play together account and spend minimally for now but we also didn’t want to sacrifice completely. So we compromised. Instead of ordering in we decided to make our own lobster rolls. What would’ve cost us $88.50 instead cost us around $40, we had way more fun making our rolls together than ordering in, and we’re still on track with our savings goals . This is just one of the ways I’ve changed my spending habits so that I can enjoy life but also plan for the future. If you’re a woman who’d like to do the same then my free support group Women and Wealth might be for you. It’s kicking off on November 11th. More details released soon but if you’re sick of saying I’ll get to that one day and want to start this year comment below with your favourite emoji and I’ll add you to the list x See more

03.01.2022 Passion alone isn’t going to get you there, nor is commitment. But when you combine the two... you become unstoppable!

02.01.2022 FOR WHAT PURPOSE??? . If you’re finding it hard to save money one thing you might want to consider is what you’re saving it for. . I’m obsessed with goals but I always have a vision in mind, some big why, apurpose. What I know works best for me is getting really clear on why I want to achieve a goal and making sure that it’s aligned with my values (and not someone else’s). All too often we set goals because we think we should or because other people are and we forget to c...onnect those goals to our own personal desires. . I see so many people setting out to save money just for the sake of saving it. That’s fine if you’re particularly passionate about having a chunk of money saved but if you’re not you might be setting yourself up for failure. I know for me, when I have something I’m saving for I’m far more motivated and less likely to sabotage my goals. . For example, years ago I tried to start saving a deposit for a run down place that I could knock down and renovate. I found it really hard though and after a while I realised that I had no true desire to build my own home so I thought instead about where I really wanted to live and set a different goal around that. Now that my goal is centred around something that I want and not something I think I should want I’m finding it far easier to save towards it. . So I encourage you to ask yourself two questions when you’re setting a goal... 1. For what purpose do I want this? 2. Whose goal is this? . Image via @propertybeforeprada See more

01.01.2022 . I heard this the other day and it hit home so hard! If justifying your purchases was a sport I’d be a gold medal Olympian. I’ve been able to convince the most frugal of people as to why I need that thing when it was really just a want. And what’s worse is that I’m so good at justifying that I believe my own stories. . Financially preparing myself for retirement, paying off debt and budgeting is so boring in comparison to yolo and treat yo self! Right?... . But then before you know it you’re heading towards 40 fast and you realise your retirement plan is still reliant on you winning tattslotto rather than putting enough money away in your super. You’re still living week to week and you’re not even exactly sure how much debt you’re in. When you start to think about the situation the anxiety becomes overwhelming and you decide that you must do something about it but then it’s so uncomfortable that you end up distracting yourself and procrastinating, all the while losing confidence, self-esteem and self-trust. . Sound familiar? Hang in there... I’ve got some good news coming your way soon. To start with, if you’re at this point it’s not the worst thing in the world because you’ve at least got a hell of a lot of leverage to change your situation. . Pop a below if you see yourself in this post and you’re ready to put your big girl pants on and make a change. See more