Cam Fraser | Coach

Cam Fraser

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25.01.2022 Sex is often conflated with erection . . For many, sex begins when a penis becomes hard enough to penetrate a partner and ends when it becomes soft again. This is an example of the over emphasizing of P in V penetrative sex. Of course, sex is so much more than this. People can also get insulted or feel like the man doesn't desire them if he doesn't have an erection. In fact, a lot of women have expressed to me that if their partner doesn't have an erection, it brings up some... self-worth triggers. They worry they're not desirable, that they're not attractive enough, that they aren't sexual. Embracing and exploring the softness of a penis can help to minimize and counteract these stories about what sex should look like and what indicates desire. Because, just because a man doesn't have an erection, that doesn't mean he isn't turned on or doesn't desire you. A soft penis is malleable and easy to play with using hands or a mouth. It also feels good for the man to have his soft cock handled. Intercourse can actually feel better with a softer cock, particularly anal sex. Yes, you can even sex with a completely soft cock. You simply join genitals, do nothing, and notice the ecstatic sensations that arise. There are plenty of ways to have sex and be sexual that don't involve a hard dick. You can engage in external stimulation. You can use a strap on or another sex toy. You can also use your hands. You can mentally stimulate each other. The person with the penis can energetically penetrate. You can penetrate the person with the penis. Contrary to what you may think, penises can experience pleasure and even orgasm without erection. Really, the only people who benefit from our obsession with the hard erection are the drug and porn companies. They make men feel inadequate for not having massive, hard erections, and women too have an expectation that if it’s not hard it’s not on. . unknown (please tag)

24.01.2022 How much intention do you place on the media you consume daily? #mindfulness #spiritual #motivation #selflove #spirituality #mindful #healing #quote #growth #seek #real #truth #transformation #sexeducation #deconstuctingthemind #selfaware #awareness

23.01.2022 Precum 101 . . Precum, also known as pre-ejaculate, is a fluid involuntarily released from the penis during sexual stimulation. It neutralizes acidity in the urethra in preparation for sperm (Chughtai et al, 2005). . Precum is released from the Cowper’s glands, two pea-sized glands found at the base of the penis, behind the urethra. The Cowper's glands, also known as the bulbourethral glands, were named after the 17th century English surgeon William Cowper. Hence, precum is ...sometimes called Cowper's fluid. Preejaculate volume may range from a few drops to more than 5 milliliters (Chudnovsky & Niederberger, 2013). It can act as natural lubrication and is usually a sign that the person with the penis is in a heightened state of arousal. One big question about precum is whether it can result in pregnancy. There isn't a consensus, as some pre-ejaculate samples contain sperm while others contain a reasonable proportion of motile sperm and others still contain no sperm at all (Killick et al., 2013). . So, some men are less likely to have sperm in their precum but others are more likely, making it risky to assume that your precum won't result in pregnancy. On top of that, precum can also transmit sexual infections. For example, high levels of HIV have been found in pre-ejaculate fluid (Politch et al., 2017). . There's nothing wrong with Cowper's fluid or how much you produce of it. Just be mindful to practice safe sex as precum has the potential, however unlikely, to cause pregnancy and transmit infection. #sexed #sexeducation #sexualeducation #sexualityeducation #comprehensivesexed #sexualhealth #menshealth #contraception #contraceptive #sexcoach #sexcoaching #reproductivehealth #maleanatomy #penisart #cockart #eroticart #lingamlove #lingam #eroticartwork

23.01.2022 On episode 23 of the Men, Sex & Pleasure podcast [link in bio] I chat with Lucas Aoun, a leading Australian biohacker, with a global mission to optimize wellbeing, physical and mental performance. He is currently completing his Naturopathy degree in Melbourne. He is highly respected in the realm of Nootropics, Testosterone optimization, and athletic performance. We talk about testosterone and why men should care about their testosterone levels. We also discuss dopamine and ot...her neurotransmitters as well as how to optimize your sexual health with testicle icing. If you’re interested in biohacking your body, this is the episode for you. Key Points: - Lucas tells us about his experiences with nootropics - Optimizing health and performance - What is testosterone and why should we care about it? - Too much vs too little testosterone - Natural ways to optimize T levels - Other hormones and their impact on our body - Dopamine: Detoxing and depletion - The benefits of icing your testicles - More tips and advice for optimizing your sexual health. Relevant links: Lucas’ Website: https://www.ergogenic.health/ Lucas’ Instagram: @ergogenic_health

22.01.2022 Do you touch yourself? Do you seduce yourself? Do you fuck yourself?... Do you make love to yourself? Can you let yourself go? Can you indulge your senses? Can you be sensual? Can you be unrestrained? Are you ashamed? Are you trying to hide? Are you minimizing? Are you unable to explore? Be luxurious. Be decadent. Be bacchanalian. Be hedonistic. Embody your sexuality. . @fuscous.fury

22.01.2022 I review the Desire Luxury App Controlled Rechargeable Prostate Vibrator from @lovehoneyau . https://www.lovehoney.com/product.cfm?p=40346 . It is made from soft silicone and has a velvet finish. It has a flexible shaft for ease of use, with a wide base to prevent over insertion. It is 4.5 inches (insertable) and 4 inches (circumference), with 8 distinct vibration patterns and 12 intensity levels. It has a push-button on the toy and is also controlled via the Desire by Loveho...ney phone app. That means you or partner can take control from anywhere in the world. It is fully waterproof and submersible. It is USB rechargeable and comes with a lockable zip case for safety and discretion. Used with water-based lube, this is an extremely pleasurable toy that can help you unlock multiple prostate orgasms. I highly recommend! . #ad #sexeducation #sexualhealth #reproductivehealth #sextips #sexadvice #sexcoach #adulttoys #lovehoney #lovehoneyaustralia #lovehoneyau #prostate #prostatehealth #menshealth #prostatemassage #prostatemassger #vibrator #selfpleasure #pleasurepositive #prostateorgasm See more

21.01.2022 Today on the #mensexpleasure podcast [link in bio], I chat with Brenden Durell. Brenden is a former professional athlete turned life aficionado. He nudges people with laughter and inspiration so they can understand nirvana and live in every moment. Brenden also plays the game of life by being a Cacao & Breathwork Ceremonialist. He’s also a dedicated White Tantra student. His motto is peace is the ultimate pleasure. Brenden resides comfortably in his home, wishing he had a d...og. The two of us spoke about the difference between masculine Men’s Work and feminine Men’s Work as well as how masculinity is linked to sexuality and what we can do as men to express but also regulate our emotions. Key Points: - Brenden shares a bit of his story - What is Men’s Work? - The difference between Men’s Work and Women’s Work - Masculine Men’s Work and Feminine Men’s Work - The intersection of masculinity and sexuality - Sexuality as intimacy and vulnerability - Oversharing and emotional instability - Burdening your partner in a relationship - Emotional expression and regulation - Practical relationship advice. Relevant links: Brenden’s Instagram: @innerlightwarrior Brenden’s Website: www.brendendurell.com

21.01.2022 Porn = Bad. It’s a common belief, one espoused by many of my colleagues. Something that isn’t as common is the discussion about what exactly porn is defined as. As professor Joseph Slade explains in his book, Pornography in America, the meaning of the term pornographic constantly shifts along a vast continuum moving between two equally slippery concepts, the erotic and the obscene. Philsopher Robin Turner notes in his essay, Debating Pornography, that erotica is usually consi...dered artistic, made for expressive purposes, and is generally socially acceptable while pornography is usually considered vulgar, made for financial gain, and is generally not socially acceptable. While feminist Gloria Steinem claims that the differences are always obvious, pornographer Al Goldstein maintained that such descriptions are biased by gender, class and factors such as personal preference. Although American pornographic actress Gloria Leonard said, "The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting, it was Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart who said of obscenity, I know It when I see it. This lead to the establishment of the Miller test, which states that a work is considered obscene if it satisfies three conditions; (1) the average person, applying contemporary community standards finds it prurient, (2) it depicts, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct, and (3) it lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value. The internet has made the community standards part of the Miller test questionable. What offends one person may not offend a person from another community. Additionally, when a representation once called obscene becomes so widespread, it moves into the category of the pornographic, then of the erotic. From the domain of the erotic, it can pass into the realm of the commonplace. An example of this is a public kiss. William Heise’s 1896 film, The Kiss, contained the very first kiss on film. Upon release, it sparked controversy and was denounced as obscene. Today, considering a kiss obscene is almost laughable. So, if you’re saying Porn = Bad, what exactly are you referring to?

20.01.2022 On this episode [link in bio] I chat with Matthew Ayriss, Masculinity and Sacred Sexuality Men’s Coach, Shamanic-Somatic Healer & Conscious Content Creator. Matthew facilitates online group coaching programs, in-person immersive experiences, men's retreats, tantra and transformational festivals and has hosted men's circles and group Men’s retreats across the world. Currently running the 3rd round of his online group coaching program for men, The Pillar - Masculine Sexual and ...Emotional Mastery. Through his one-on-one work and online programs, Matthew guides men into deepening their masculine purpose integrating and understanding the conditioning of their past, their desires and fears and becoming the master of their sexual energy. Over the years as a healer and facilitator he has supported both men and women in coming into their fullest expression of their authentic self, healing and integrating their past wounding while supporting them in embodying the essence of who they truly are, guiding his clients in stepping into their most authentic and fulfilling life. Matthew and I spoke about unhealthy and healthy expressions of masculinity and femininity. We also shared opinions about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s ‘WAP’ song. We also addressed self-love, overcoming male body shame and transforming masturbation. Key points: - Matthew shares some of his journey - Masculine and feminine cross polarity - Healthy vs Unhealthy expressions - ‘WAP’ and contemporary sexual expression - Problems with language and media - Grounded masculinity - Self-love, self-pleasure and self-worth - Male body positivity - Transforming masturbation with prostate play. Relevant links: Matthew’s website: www.themasculinepillar.com Matthew’s instagram: @thehealingmatt

19.01.2022 Every few days, more follower count stagnates. This is what my Instagram insights show me when I look at how my audience is going. While there is a gradual trend toward growing my audience, every few days I see stagnation. Funnily enough, the posts that I get the most engagement on are also the posts that result in the most unfollows. Typically, I gain as many followers as I lose when I share these types of posts.... Can you guess what posts I may be talking about? That's right, it's the illustrations of penises. People seem to love these posts as they're most most engaged with and have the furthest reach. But, others must also not love them because many unfollow my account every time I post one. I find it interesting and it reaffirms the need for social media marketing strategies if I continue to use this platform to promote my business - which I plan to do. It also makes me reflect on the support of people who do resonate with these posts. I'm so grateful for people sharing, saving, and generally engaging with my content. I aspire to be the go-to person in Australia for male sexuality information and education. My intention is to break into the mainstream and bring this awareness into the matrix, to the masses. So, here's a warning for those who may not like the penis artwork: There is more to come. And, here's a message for those who do like penis artwork: Thank you so much, if you like what you see or read please continue sharing, I really appreciate the support!

18.01.2022 Earlier this year, I conducted an online presentation about conscious conception, specifically addressing the ways in which men can be more involved in the conception journey. Drawing both from my own personal experience as well as the thorough research I did, this presentation covered everything ranging from the biological material that the father contributes to the unborn child, known as ejaculate-mediated paternal effects, to the energetics of ejaculation and how principle...s from Traditional Chinese Medicine can help in the conception process. If you're interested in planned pregnancy and preconception care for men, I am open to making this online presentation available at a really low price on my website, so please let me know. It was such an honour to be able to talk about this and share some of the fascinating yet often unknown information regarding conscious conception for men.

18.01.2022 One of the primary ways that we receive messages about anything really, but particularly about masculinity, sexuality and the expression of those two things is through our language. #sexuality #masculinity #love #men #toxicmasculinity #mentalhealth #sexualhealth #sexeducation #bodypositive #sexeducator #selfcare #selflove

18.01.2022 Outperform A Pornstar. This is the title of my signature 6-week online men's course. I often get asked about the name and why it references performance and porn, when these are the very things that cause men to have bad sex to begin with. Firstly, it's just a fun name. But, more than that, it targets the group of men that I want to work with. The men who aspire to porn sex and believe they need to perform a certain way sexually. The name catches their attention, so they sign ...up, and then the course content subverts those ideas. What do I mean by subverting those ideas? Well, I present an alternative way of thinking about performance. I explain, using anecdotes from people in the industry, that porn sex is not actually very pleasurable for men or women. And, if you could learn how to have real, connected, mutually satisfying, highly pleasurable sex, you'd be outperforming any pornstar. On top of this reframing of performance, the name of my course aligns with my approach to sex coaching. I'm not here to teach you how to be a sex wizard, or sex God, or sex guru, or Tantric master, or sex priest. I want to teach men how to have meaningful, multi-orgasmic sex and experience heightened states of pleasure with their partners. Sex that is way better than what many men see in porn. This course turns the concept of performance on it's head. It addresses the stories men have about sex, which are often derived from porn. It teaches men how to have great sex and how to deeply connect with their sexual partners, which pornstars most certainly are not doing. This course teaches men how to outperform a pornstar. If you're interested in joining a group of men who are taking their sex lives to the next level, my next course starts on Nov 10th. Head to the link in my bio to sign up today. . Regards Coupables

18.01.2022 As you may know, I’ve teamed up with global sexual wellness brand, @Lovehoneyau . As part of their mission to make a fun, fulfilling sex life available to everyone, I’ll be joining them this Thursday as part of Virtual Camp Lovehoney to empower Australians to continue their sexual happiness journey through a series of online workshops and talks. We will cover topics such as how we can normalise conversations around sex, inclusivity, body confidence and more. I’m super excite...d to be involved. Join me on Thursday, 24th September, at 7:25PM AEST. I’ll be hosting a virtual session on Removing the Taboo of Male Sex Toys," where I’ll share my favourite products, provide tips on using them, plus share a guide to how they work. I’ll be showcasing some new, state-of-the-art Lovehoney male masturbators, so don’t miss out. I’ll then be joining @chantelle_otten_sexologist, @bryonycole, and @kathebbs for a roundtable discussion at 8.10pm AEST on How to Find your Sexual Happiness where we’ll discuss a number of untouched topics. Click here https://bit.ly/3mgdMhf for more information and to secure your spot. #camplovehoney #lovehoneyau #sexualhappiness101

16.01.2022 How much intention do you place on the media you consume daily?

16.01.2022 One criticism of feminist theory from men in feminist spaces is that intersectionality has come to include everyone except cis white males. There is a general consensus among feminists that cis white males are at the top of the pyramid when it comes to privilege. However, sometimes feminist discourse can focus so much on cis white male privilege that acknowledging the unique issues men face is placed on the back burner.... Men need help with dismantling "man box" culture, expanding their paternal rights, and need their pain and abuse to be acknowledged and changed. Many men find support for these problems within men's rights groups, where you either embrace the oftentimes vindictive ideology of the group or are minimized. If they don't want to engage with the group's negativity towards women and don't have a space to talk against these biases, many men can end up in limbo. When there is limited or no space to talk about these unaddressed needs, men may feel like it’s one or the other, expressing their needs in hateful ways or suppressing them. And so, the current scenario plays out: men are told that they're the most privileged subset of people. Those men then feel like they're being attacked. Therefore they shut feminism out, sometimes even actively working against it. Feminism can be much more accessible for women and minority groups because feminist discourse focuses primarily on the issues they face. These groups see that and it resonates with them. Then, they learn about intersectionality and come to understand their privilege. Generally speaking, cis white men are expected to accept their privilege first before they receive any kind of empathy regarding their issues. Creating an environment to acknowledge and talk about these issues will hopefully lessen the appeal and numbers of negative men’s rights groups while encouraging social change. When those men see that they are being empathized with, they may then be asked to do the same for other groups, thereby accepting and becoming aware of their own privilege. It should be remembered that to be pro men is not to be anti-women; the two are not inherently linked.

15.01.2022 I speak a lot about the intricacies leading up to and during sex, but what are you doing after sex has finished? . Contrary to what porn would have you believe, sex doesn't finish at the "money shot." And, unlike what you may see in movies, you shouldn't just roll over, have a cigarette and go to sleep after sex. Instead, if the sex is good, try enjoying that lingering feeling of pleasure, or sexual afterglow, because it may be more important for your relationship than orgasm...s. Spouses who experienced stronger afterglow reported higher levels of marital satisfaction compared to spouses who have not (Meltzer et al., 2017). Specifically, after-sex affectionate activities, such as kissing, cuddling, and hugging, are crucial to sexual afterglow, playing a more important role in sexual and relationship satisfaction than foreplay or the duration of intercourse (Muise, et al., 2014). . The value of these behaviors is particularly high after sex, since they confirm that the relationship bond is deeper than a brief, superficial physical act. After-sex affectionate activities also prolong the duration of sexuality, thereby enabling it to have a greater impact on the relationship. In fact, in a study of newlywed couples, sexual afterglow remained for about 48 hours after sex, and those with a stronger afterglow had higher overall marital satisfaction, implying that it is the afterglow, rather than the number of orgasms, which best correlates to the length and quality of the relationship (Danovich, 2017). . The pleasant sexual afterglow can involve the wish to have more sex. As Whipple and Brash-McGreer posit in their Circular Model of female sexual response, pleasure and satisfaction during one sexual experience can feed into the initiation of the next sexual experience. If pleasure and satisfaction were not met, it would decrease the desire for subsequent sexual interactions. Therefore, those who enjoy sex are more likely to enjoy it more, thereby enhancing their current romantic relationship. So, take time to enjoy yourself and your partner after sex. Revel in the those pleasurable post-sex feelings and get affectionate with each other. . Eiler Krag

15.01.2022 Tonight I'm doing a workshop, "The Seed Bearer: Conscious Conception for Men" for @birthing_in_new_earth . I'll be reframing the narrative around men's role in the conception journey. From 'wham, bam, thank you ma'am' and just ejaculating in the right place at the right time to how they can consciously, intentionally contribute to the process by taking preconception care seriously. This is a topic very close to my heart as I'm in the midst of a conscious conception journey at... the moment. This is also the first workshop I have hosted on this particular topic. If you're interested in attending, head to the link in my bio and join the Birthing in the New Earth online event. #conception #conceivenaturally #conceptionjourney #consciousconception #preconception #preconceptioncare #preconceptionhealth #conceive #birthinginnewearth #getpregnant #gettingpregnant #knockedup

14.01.2022 Inclusivity. Someone recently told me they are "disappointed with the extreme binary language" I use. In my content, I use the word woman for any person who identifies as a woman, and the word man for any person who identifies as a man, regardless of their assigned sex at birth. I acknowledge that not all men have penises and not all women have vaginas. I also acknowledge that gender is non-binary, fluid, and on a spectrum and support each individual’s right to live in alignm...ent with their gender identity. I fully welcome and celebrate anyone who wants to explore their sexuality. I desire for non-binary and trans people to be fully included in Sacred Sexuality work. That being said, I do use gendered language and my work and lived experience is predominantly heteronormative. I endeavour to be more inclusive than other Sacred Sexuality teachers by using gender-neutral terms or phrases like "partner" instead of "husband/wife" and "people with penises" instead of "men." . But my knowledge and experience is limited. My desire is to be as inclusive of trans and non-binary folks as possible, but there are current limitations in my content. While I want to be safe and inclusive, I haven’t created a whole body of work around being queer, trans or non-binary. I often speak to my own lived experience as a cisgender, heterosexual, Caucasian male. As such, this tends to be the demographic that my content is directed toward. Just because I create content that resonate more with this group of people, doesn't inherently mean I am maliciously minimizing other lived experiences. I speak about cismen, doesn't mean I hate trans men. I speak about heterosexual sex, doesn't mean I hate homosexual sex. I speak from a white perspective, doesn't mean I hate BIPOC. I encourage everyone to seek out opinions, information and wisdom from people who have different lived experiences than them. That goes for me also. If you are non-binary or trans and feel you have the energy, time and desire, I would love to learn from you about how I can make more content applicable to you. However, if that doesn't feel like enough safety or acknowledgment, I totally understand.

14.01.2022 On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Lorin Krenn, a Deep Intimacy coach and Writer. Lorin helps men and women all over the globe understand masculine/feminine dynamics in their intimate relationships to experience deep intimacy through 1-on-1 coaching, workshops and masterclasses, and social media appearances. He has some Deep Intimacy virtual masterclasses coming up specifically for his Australian and Asia-Pacific community as well as for his community from the Un...ited States, Canada and Europe. Links for these masterclasses are in the show notes. Lorin and I talk about his work with both men and women as well as how he coaches people to go deeper with their intimacy and move beyond surface level sex. Key Points: Lorin talks about how he came to be doing this work Personal philosophy about working with men and women Transitioning into deeper intimacy Biggest challenges doing this work Resistances men have to exploring intimacy Advice for expressing your sexuality as a man Advice for women who have male partners Encouraging men to be more vulnerable Relevant Links: Lorin’s Instagram: @lorinkrenn Lorin’s Podcast: The Lorin Krenn Podcast

12.01.2022 It's International Men's Day and, coincidentally, we're in the middle of No Nut November. So, there may be some men who, on this day, aren't masturbating. But, I wanted to share a couple of reasons why masturbation, or more specifically self-pleasuring, can be beneficial for men. Firstly, it is important to distinguish between masturbation and self-pleasure. Typically, I refer to masturbation as going through the motions, jerking away with only the end goal of reaching ejacul...ation in mind. On the other hand, self-pleasure is exactly what the term suggests, focussing on pleasuring yourself in whatever way you feel like in that moment, which may or may not involve ejaculation, and may or may not even involve genital stimulation. So, self-pleasuring, or actively pursuing your own pleasure with yourself, can be a fantastic way of releasing sexual tension and reducing stress. When you're by yourself, you don't have to worry about contraceptives or prophylactics. You also don't have to worry about pressure to please a partner. This can be a beautiful opportunity to fully drop into your own experience of pleasure. By exploring your own body and the pleasure it is capable of feeling, you can improve your self-esteem and body image. Self-pleasuring can help break down sexual stigma and shame, strengthening your connection with your body and building your confidence. This is especially true if you decide to use toys and products to enhance your pleasure and help overcome some potential sexual concerns. Using sex toys like male masturbators and prostate massagers can help you re-sensitize your body to sexual stimulation, helping with maintaining erections, as well as finding sensation that isn't over-stimulating, helping you last longer. These products can also help you experience different types of, and even multiple, orgasms. If you're curious about how you can transition from simply masturbating to expanded self-pleasuring, try investing in some lube and a toy from @lovehoneyau. You can head to the link in my bio for my recommendations.

10.01.2022 About to upload an unboxing video to my YouTube channel of the @arcwave.official Ion Pleasure Air stroker. This toy is designed to stimulate the sensitive Pacinian pleasure receptors in the frenulum so you can experience a new type of orgasm. It uses unique pulsating airwaves, similar to the Womanizer range of products. I'm excited to be a part of the launch of this sleek and powerful device in Australia. It is going to be available exclusively through @lovehoneyau... Stay tuned for updates! #arcwave #arcwaveion #frenulum #selfpleasure #adulttoyreview #adultproducts #adultproductreviews #adultproduct #sextoyreview #malesextoy #womanizer #sextech #lovehoneyau #pleasurepositive #sexpositive #sexpositivity

10.01.2022 I'm stoked! . Why am I so stoked? . Because today I welcome in another small group of men to journey through my 6-week online men's course, Outperfom a Pornstar.... I limit the numbers of each intake of men because I like to keep the container tight and personally get to know each man's unique journey. It is always so humbling to have men commit to this work and choose me as their coach for this incredibly important part of their lives. I invite every man who undertakes this journey through their sexual stories and experiences to join a private Facebook group with myself and the other men who are going on this journey. Each time I run this online course, the group gradually grows with more men taking their sex lives seriously. We've now created a modest online community of men who are all wanting to go down this path and take their sex lives to the next level. There are a few spots left for this limited intake and applications will close tonight at midnight. If you want to go on this amazing journey of self-discovery and join a community, a brotherhood, of men who will support you in this work, head to the link in my bio and sign up now. I won't be running this course again this year! Don't miss out. #onlinecoaching #onlinecourse #coachingonline #sexcoach #sexcoaching #menscoach #menscoaching #coaching #menssexcoach #performancecoach #performancecoaching #highperformance #lifecoach #lifecoaching #menswork #brotherhood #mensgroup

09.01.2022 The Art of Thrusting. So many straight men I speak to about penetrative sex have no idea that they can and should change up their thrusting technique. To oversimplify it, there are really two ways of thrusting; shallow and deep. A lot of men seem to think that hard, fast and deep thrusting is the epitome of penetrative sex. But, let's talk about shallow thrusting. Most of the nerve endings in the female genital region are on the outside of the body rather than the inside. In ...fact, the first third of the vaginal canal has significantly richer small-nerve-fiber innervation (Li et al., 2014). This means the first 1/3 of the vagina is typically the most sensitive. Therefore, shallow thrusting with little more than just the head of your cock can stimulate these pleasurable areas, like the G-spot and the entrace to the vagina. This also means that you don't necessarily need long penis to stimulate these areas. In fact, approximately two-thirds of women reported that a longer penis either made no difference in their likelihood of reaching orgasm or made it less likely that they would climax (Costa et al., 2012). . A tip here is, when you're having sex facing each other, instead of simply thrusting in and out, try also tilting your hips towards your chin so the head of your cock presses and rubs up against her G-spot. Additionally, try switching it up. Do five or so deep thrusts and then, on the sixth one, thrust deep and leave your penis deep inside of her vagina for about a second or so. She can even do Kegel exercises and squeeze your penis with her vagina at the same time. This can be a way to make sure you don’t overstimulate yourself too quickly. When you do penetrate your partner deeply, it is important to be mindful of pressing against her cervix, which may be painful for her. It's estimated that 10% to 28% of women experience painful intercourse (Pukall et al., 2016). If she does feel comfortable with deep penetration, instead of pounding against her cervix, see if she can grind her clitoris against your pubic mound. If you want to learn more about the Art of Thrusting, head to the link in my bio and join my upcoming Outperform A Pornstar course.

08.01.2022 On today’s episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast (link in bio), I have a great discussion with Sarah Hunter Murray about the most common myths surrounding masculinity, sexuality and men. Sarah holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality from the University of Guelph and is a Registered Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She is the author of the book "Not Always in the Mood: The new science of men, sex, & relationships." I loved Sarah’s book and the r...esearch she presents in it. We talk about that research as well as her observations about men in relationships. We also explore some practical advice for men and their partners to help overcome the myths and stereotypes that may be hindering them in their relationships. Key Points: - Sarah shares about her research and book - Science vs popular media and societal norms - Men internally wrestling with sexual scripts - Men’s sex drive isn’t high and unwavering - Men and women have the same sexual desire - Giving men the language to talk about sex - Men desire to be desired - Sex isn’t just surface level for men - Men don’t always say yes to sex - Practical advice for men in relationships Relevant links: Sarah’s website: https://www.sarahhuntermurray.com/ Sarah’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Always-Mood-SARAH-HUN//1538149400/

08.01.2022 When exploring my own embodiment of the Jungian archetypes, particularly the Lover, I've noticed how easy it is to align with the shadow aspects. The two shadows of the Lover Archetype are the Addicted Lover and the Impotent Lover. The Lover Archetype is the part of us that seeks to connect, to bond. Generally it is how we relate - how we relate to our emotions, to our body, to other people, to the universe, as well as to a Higher Power. Therefore, addiction in the context of... the Lover can not only look like typical indulgences and compulsions, but also like an overflow of emotions, being clingy or needy. I notice my own expression of this when I haven't been doing my personal practices and I feel a rising desire to project my sexuality outwardly. I want to touch, to watch. I lust, look and crave. Then, impotence in the context of the Lover can not only look like lacklustre libido, but also like emotional stoicism, being unable to open up. I notice my own expression of this when I allow my addict's desire to be fulfilled and I feel satiated. My itch has been scratched. I go back to being cut off. I've observed this same swinging between the two shadows in other men, especially those adhering to NoFap principles. They go from excessively engaging with their sexual energy to completely detaching from it, from addiction to impotence. Often, the men in these communities will "relapse" - interestingly, a term used by them - and begin engaging unhealthily with their sexual energy again, until attempting to stop once more. This flip-flopping can stem from shame about love or connection. Maybe you believe that you aren’t loving enough, or sensual and sexual enough, or emotional in the right way. Maybe you believe you're not really a loving person. So, you either give up on loving, or try to exaggerate any behaviors that look like loving to compensate for your shaming belief. To bring yourself into balance with the Lover Archetype, you need to work with your body. Try starting with a physical sensation that you feel and use that as an entry point to your emotions. Learn more in my new 6-month mastermind all about relationship with self, spirit and others.

08.01.2022 Men, how much noise do you make during sex? . Vocalizing is an important part of sexual communication because it tells our partners when something feels good and when to keep going. However, many men I speak to about expressing their pleasure have a lot of resistance to doing this. So common is the phenomenon of men being silent during sex that it has generated it's own meme, the "Guys are scared to moan" or #scaredtomoan meme. This is unfortunate because our partners most de...finitely want us to make more noise. On Twitter, a tweet that reads, "men who are quiet during sex are trash partners" has over 19,000 retweets, with thousands of people agreeing that they want men to make more noise during sex. Men’s sexual silence can partly be attributed to masculine norms which restrict our ability to express emotions. Boys are often socialized not to cry or show affection lest they be called a "wimp" or a "momma’s boy." . So, boys who conform to these masculine norms think they shouldn't express what they're feeling, leading to men having trouble expressing pleasure or enthusiasm during sex as adults. Granted, some men are being silent for other reasons, like they’re distracted by the sex itself or just concentrating intently. A lot of men find themselves really immersed in what they’re doing, and silence helps them feel connected and present. If you're comfortable doing so and it wouldn’t create any pressure or anxiety, I encourage you to be more vocal during sex. If you can find ways of signaling arousal and pleasure - such as light moaning, exhaling loudly, groaning or just simply saying what feels good - it gives your partner the opportunity to respond and build upon that arousal. Plus, vocalizations during sex can boost your partner's self-esteem, which can heighten the overall passion and enthusiasm. In fact, a correlation has been found between the frequency of vocalizations and sexual satisfaction for both men and women (Babin, 2012). . Trust me guys, our partners enjoy seeing and hearing us enjoying ourselves. When they're enjoying themselves more, we enjoy ourselves more, and so on in a beautiful snowball effect of pleasure. @danteamoretto_

07.01.2022 Are you ready to make 2021 the year that you level up your sex life? There are actually so many ways you can do this, so I’ve narrowed it down. Thanks to @lovehoneyau, I can share with you my top 5 toys to kick off 2021 and get your new year sex off to a flying start [Swipe to see each toy]. . 1) Hot Octopuss Jett Extra Powerful Vibrating Masturbation Sleeve. I was super curious about this innovative toy. It uses two ultra-powerful, independently operated vibrators to stimula...te the frenulum and you know I’m a fan of frenulum stimulation. With 10 vibration patterns, 6 intensity levels, a wired remote and a stretchy silicone ring, the Jett can be used when flaccid and also provides totally handsfree orgasms. 2) Mantric Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Vibrator. I’m also a fan of prostate stimulation and this premium prostate massager, which provides both internal and external stimulation, certainly delivers. The LED panel allows you to easily find your preferred vibration mode. Plus, your partner can use the wireless remote to fully control your pleasure. 3) We-Vibe X Lovehoney Remote Control Couple's Vibrator. Lovehoney collaborated with We-Vibe to create this exclusive remote control couple's vibrator that fits between partners during P-in-V sex. Delivering intense vibrations, including 10 speeds and patterns, I’ve found it helps female partners reach orgasm during penetration. It’s a gamechanger. 4) Lovehoney Classic Mains Powered Magic Wand Vibrator. Offering ultra-powerful stimulation, the Classic Wand is well-known for helping women experience multiple orgasms. This is my first mains-powered toy, so I’m excited to not run low on charge, which has frustrated me in the past. There are plenty of attachments to try out as well. 5) Lovehoney Wild Weekend Mega Couple's Sex Toy Kit. This kit has 11 specially selected toys including a G-Spot Vibrator, Vibrating Rabbit Ears, Butt Plug, Rabbit Vibrator, Male Stroker, Anal Beads, Jiggle Balls, Rabbit Cock Ring and Cock Ring Set, which is perfect for couples new to toys. Learn what you like and experiment with a bit of everything. All toys are available at @lovehoneyau. Head to the link in my bio for yours.

07.01.2022 Another psychological perspective of human sexuality from Hyde and DeLamater's "Understanding Human Sexuality" is Social exchange theory. Social exchange theory represents interpersonal behavior as a function of each partner's motives to maximize their rewards and minimize their costs as well as to achieve relative equity in their respective inputs and outcomes. Applied to the domain of sexuality, social exchange theorists have argued that an individual's sexual satisfaction ...in a relationship is determined by (a) the overall balance of one's sexual rewards and costs, (b) how these rewards and costs compare with one's expectations, (c) perceptions of equity between one's own rewards and costs and those of one's partner, and (d) the quality of the nonsexual dimensions of the relationship. The rewards associated with sexuality might include such factors as physical pleasure, release of tension, emotional expression, and feelings of closeness with one's partner; the costs associated with sexuality might include dislike of certain practices, embarrassment, or sexual dysfunction. Within this theory is the matching hypothesis, the idea that men and women will choose as mates people who match them on physical and social characteristics. People who match will provide each other with similar rewards on dimensions such as attractiveness, social status, and wealth. Social exchange theories have been criticised for reducing human interaction to a purely rational process that arises from economic theory as well as downplaying motivations for exchange other than reciprocity, such as altruism, group gain, status consistency and competition. The theory also assumes that the ultimate goal of a relationship is intimacy when this might not always be the case and places relationships in a linear structure, when some relationships might skip steps or go backwards in terms of intimacy. Lastly, limitations of interracial couples and the application of social exchange theory have been noted, making the previously understood application of social exchange moot.

07.01.2022 This has been my latest read . "Men Who Hate Women" by Laura Bates. In this book, Bates explores the depth and breadth of the manosphere, the collection of online misogynistic men's groups, comprising of incels and pickup artists to Men's Rights Activists and Men Going Their Own Way.... Bates also discusses trolling and the impact that online behavior can have in offline spaces. She details, using examples taking directly from forums, websites and message boards, the "red pill" ideologies of the manosphere. She also speaks to former members of these groups, as well as with the men fighting against them. Included are also interviews with experts frim various fields of psychology, sociology, and criminology. Bates also discusses some ways in which we, as a society, may be able to combat the extremism and radicalization exposed by these groups. If you've heard me or others talk about the "red pill" or the manosphere or online misogynistic men's group and want to know what exactly it is that we're referring to as well as why we consider it worth talking about, I highly recommend you read this book. #laurabates #everydaysexism #book #bookgram #bookstagram #instabooks #instabook #bookclub #goodbook #goodreads #booknerd #manosphere #redpill #mensrights #mysogyny #troll #trolls #feminsim #readinglist #newbook #readthis

06.01.2022 Another psychological perspective of human sexuality is learning theory. Again, this is from Hyde and DeLamater's "Understanding Human Sexuality." The book asserts that much of human sexual behaviour is learned. One mode of learning is classical conditioning, the process in which a previously neutral stimulus is repeatedly paired with an unconditioned stimulus that reflexively elicits an unconditioned response. Eventually the conditioned stimulus itself will evoke the respons...e. Sexual arousal can thus be classical conditioned. Another mode of learning is operant conditioning, the process of changing the frequency of a behaviour (the operant) by following it with positive reinforcement or punishment. Sexual behaviour can itself be a positive reinforcer, but it can also be the behaviour that is rewarded or punished. Consequences are most effective in shaping behaviour when they occur immediately after the behaviour. Compared to rewards, punishments are not very effective in shaping behaviour. Learning theorists state that sexual behaviour can be learned and changed at any time in one’s lifespan. According to this theory, a set of operant conditioning techniques could be used to modify human behaviour, such as problematic sexual behaviours. Thus, the behavioural therapist considers only the problem behaviour and how to modify it using learning-theory principles. Another, more complex mode of learning is social learning, based on principles of operant conditioning, but it also recognizes two other processes: Imitation and identification. Once a behaviour is learned, the likelihood of it being performed depends on its consequences. If the behaviour is not reinforced, the person will stop doing it. Successful experiences with the behaviour over time will create a sense of self-efficacy, which is a sense of competence at performing an activity. Some criticisms of social learning theory arise from their commitment to the environment as the chief influence on behavior. It is limiting to describe behavior solely in terms of either nature or nurture and attempts to do this underestimate the complexity of human behavior.

06.01.2022 Today on the Men, Sex & Pleaure podcast [link in bio], I chat with Avi Kabani. Avi is an author who writes about the nature of sexual energy, deep states of lovemaking, and the challenges of modern-day intimate relationships. He is best known for exploring these topics in relation to men, women, culture, and self. Drawing on the work of David Deida, Avi shared with me his take on sex therapy and sexual art. We spoke about the energetics of lovemaking and how to take your sexu...al experiences to those deeper levels of intimacy. If you’re familiar with Deida’s work, you’ll really resonate with this conversation about sex, healing and masculinity. Key Points: - Avi shares his story and where he is now - The challenges of bringing this work to men - Expressions of masculinity - Avi’s interpretation of sex therapy - Sexual healing and why it is necessary - Sexual art and energetical lovemaking - David Deida: Function, Flow and Glow - Masculinity and the military - Advice for deepening intimacy. Relevant links: Avi’s website: https://www.avikabani.com/ Avi’s Instagram: @avi_kabani Views and opinions expressed by Avi Kabani do not reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer or company.

06.01.2022 Today I had the pleasure of talking with Mental Health Practitioner, Tobias Penno, Bach. Sci. Engineering, Masters of Social Work (Hons; Research Prize Faculty of Health & Medical Science UWA) Tobias is an Emotional Health Practitioner & Social Worker with a background in Government Child Protection and Counselling. After years of professionally managing extreme child, family and relationship stress, Tobias has found his passion in healing Emotional Pain & Trauma through the ...body. Tobias currently runs a clinical practice, Emotional Healthcare, where he combines somatic techniques with narrative therapy, as well as working with people to prepare and integrate psychedelic experiences. Tobias is a researcher at the University of Western Australia, with an award-winning dissertation titled How Ayahuasca Offers Psychosocial Wellbeing, and is currently working on a PhD researching the links between attachment trauma, the body, and best-practice in psychedelic integration therapy. We spoke about the similarities between the sexuality and psychedelic industries and communities, from the challenges to the successes. Key Points: - Tobias shares a bit of his story - Therapeutic vs Recreational use of drugs - What it's like to have sex on psychedelics - Psychedelic vs Antidepressant model of therapy - Integration and aftercare for peak experiences - Supporting altered states of consciousness - The ACE model of intervention - Fast food analogy of sex and drugs - MDMA assisted psychotherapy - Using ecstasy for ecstatic self-pleasure. Relevant Links: Tobias' website: https://www.emotionalhealthcare.com.au/

03.01.2022 My fiancée, @edde.ana, is 20 weeks pregnant. I wanted to share a little bit about our conception journey. This was a completely planned pregnancy. We had spoken about having children and, originally, I was reluctant to become a parent. I was worried about bringing a child into this world and my lack of fathering experience. After some deep reflection and ongoing communication, I changed my mind. It was still a while before the two of us felt ready to even begin trying to conc...eive. When we eventually did feel ready, we set a date 6 months into the future that would be the date we opened the container for a child to come into. The 6 months leading up to that date, we prepared. For me, that looked like detoxing and cleansing, rejuvenating and revitalizing, and ultimately ensuring the quality of my reproductive fluids. Sperm takes 2 and a half months to mature, so I wanted to take responsibility for my health during this time. To open our container, we consecrated it with a ritual and fell pregnant soon after. This happened to be a chemical pregnancy. So, we reconnected with our container and called in a baby again who was ready to come through. Now, we're halfway into a pregnancy for our first child. The journey of conscious conception has transitioned to a journey through pregnancy. It has been such a huge learning experience. I'm still finding the language to describe it and there is so much more I want to share. Over the next few months I'll go a bit deeper with my sharings and offer some information about conscious conception for men.

02.01.2022 One psychological perspective of human sexuality is psychoanalytic theory, developed by Sigmund Freud, which contains a basic assumption that part of human personality is unconscious. Freud described the human personality as being divided in three major parts; 1) The id. The part of personality containing the libido, or sex drive, which is present at birth and operates on the pleasure principle. 2) The ego. The part of the personality that helps he person have realistic, rati...onal interactions, operating on the reality principle. 3) The superego. The part of the personality containing the conscience as well as the values and ideals of our society, operating on idealism, aiming to inhibit the impulses of the id and to persuade the ego to strive for moral goals rather than realistic ones. Freud believed that a child passes through a series of stages of psychosexual development. In each stage, a different erogenous zone is in focus. These zones are areas of the body that are particularly sensitive to sexual stimulation. Freud saw the libido as being focused in these zones. Oral stage: Lasts form birth to 1 year. The child’s chief pleasure is derived from sucking and otherwise stimulating the lips and mouth. Anal stage: The second year of life. The child’s interest is focused on elimination. Phallic stage: From age 3 to age 6. The boy’s interest is focused on his phallus (penis). Oedipus complex or electra complex. Latency: Until adolescence. The sexual impulses are repressed or are in a quiescent state. Genital stage: Sexual urges awaken and become more specifically genital. According to the theory, people do not always mature from one stage to the next as they should and most adults have at least traces of earlier stages remaining in their personalities. One major problem with psychoanalytic theory is that most of its concepts cannot be evaluated scientifically to see whether they are accurate. Another criticism is that Freud assumed women to be inferior to men, thus the theory is male-centred. He also overemphasized the biological determinants of behaviour and gave insufficient recognition to the importance of the environment and learning.

01.01.2022 New YouTube Video! Trying something different. https://youtu.be/UEnMNcBLoDo