The Club Golfer | Public figure
The Club Golfer
Reviews
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24.01.2022 Fuck me dead Some kid just knocked on my door dressed as a three putt You get all the candy fucker! You win Halloween
24.01.2022 35 degrees today. 31 points. 4 three putts.
22.01.2022 Yes I saw you move your ball off that tree root. No Im not going to say anything. But I fkn saw you!... Always.
22.01.2022 75 year old Terry called his mate Dougs misses a fat fuck on Saturday. Doug agreed and putted out for 8 a 1. Little Davey could use some of that! Although, what kind of cheating fuck gets 2 shots on a par 5.
22.01.2022 I did 100 push-ups everyday for 1 day. Heres what happened.... My arms hurt like fuck. Fuck off push ups.I did 100 push-ups everyday for 1 day. Heres what happened.... My arms hurt like fuck. Fuck off push ups.
21.01.2022 Nine under playing with your Dad??? pfft My Dad and I once polished off a carton of piss, half a bottle of scotch, and a dozen cigars in 18 holes.
19.01.2022 Who the fuck wins Ambrose comps? 2 eighteen handicappers, 1 fifteen, and a twelve. 12 under off the stick. Get fucked you did.
18.01.2022 16th at the Phoenix Open is like the back 9 every week. No fucks and a 1000 beers!
15.01.2022 Knifed one out of a fairway bunker onto the road today - collected it on the way home #score
15.01.2022 Happy new year everybody - except 3 putts. 3 putts can go eat a bag of dicks.
14.01.2022 6.01am: A dozen in the warm-up net (shanked 11, creamed 1), 15 practice putts (none in), shit coffee from the pro-shop 6.09am: First tee. Meet the group - its early so there is the obligatory old/deaf/blind 40+ year member, the visitor from Nth Qld who hasnt been sober since the Cows won in 2015, and the young gun off single figures 6.10am: 3 wood for safety off the first. Sliced into the piss. 7 a wipe.... 6.25am: How is this so fucking slow - Im in the second group. 6.26am: Ahhhh - group 1 is old/deaf/blind fucker * 4. These pricks sit in the booking system and grab first slot every fucking week! 8.23am: Handicap fucked on the front 9, looking like a 5 hour round. 10.52am: Thank fuck for that. 27 points, 4 lost balls, 3 three putts, and four wipes. Pared the last though, so not all bad. 11.14am: How is it possible to run out of Gold at 11 ofucking clock? Im not drinking that SuperDry shit. Fuck you golf
12.01.2022 22 points on the front, 6 points on the back. Fuck you Golf!
12.01.2022 3 six packs = 18 18 holes on a golf course Beer a hole! Coincidence?... I think not
11.01.2022 Things that hurt my soul: 1. This putter 2. Furyk’s swing... That is all.
10.01.2022 Well I played shit today, but I didn’t have a 10!
10.01.2022 Closures of Victorian golf courses is cruel and inhumane punishment for those of you already sentenced to live south of the Border. But sucked in - heres what 3 games in 3 days in the Qld sun looks like.
09.01.2022 Everybody: Whos a cunt? Golf: ......... Everybody: You! Youre a cunt
08.01.2022 Moose (noun) mooze: 10 shots on any hole Pocket Moose (noun) pokit mooze: the Ball is in your pocket after at least 10 shots. Can result in disqualification in stroke events, and mild to medium Tourettes at other times. Usage: I had a mother fucken Pocket Moose on 9 after 6 shots in that cunt bunker.
06.01.2022 I did 100 push-ups everyday for 1 day. Here’s what happened.... My arms hurt like fuck. Fuck off push ups.I did 100 push-ups everyday for 1 day. Here’s what happened.... My arms hurt like fuck. Fuck off push ups.
03.01.2022 Need to play some nicer courses. Nothing worse than finding a nice clean ball in the rough, and its a fkn Srixon Distance.
03.01.2022 Haters gunna hate
01.01.2022 Humans suck. The canals in Venice have cleared up, the smog in China is gone, and I can finally get a decent tee time in the comp tomorrow.
01.01.2022 Phoenix Open streaker lost job, spent 5 days in jail...and still says it was worth it "I definitely wouldnt have done it if I was sober
