The Compassionate Friends NSW in Sydney, Australia | Charitable organisation

The Compassionate Friends NSW

Locality: Sydney, Australia

Phone: +61 2 9290 2355

Address: Room 602, 6th Floor, 109 Pitt Street, 2000 Sydney, NSW, Australia

Website: http://www.thecompassionatefriendsnsw.org.au

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25.01.2022 For those who are approaching an anniversary, a birthday or other significant event of their loved one's lives, especially in the early times of their grief, the following points may help. *The days leading up to the actual day may be more difficult than the day itself. *A plan for the day may be helpful, as long as it is flexible. *Do what feels comforting and reach out to others, such as TCF, for understanding and support. TCF NSW 9290 2355... They are not dead, Who leave us this great heritage of remembering joy. They still live in our hearts, In the happiness we knew, in the dreams we shared. They still breathe, In the lingering fragrance, windblown, from their favourite flowers. They still smile in the moonlights silver, And laugh in the sunlights sparkling gold. They still speak in the echoes of the words weve heard them say again and again. They still move, In the rhythm of waving grasses, in the dance of the tossing branches. They are not dead; Their memory is warm in our hearts, comfort in our sorrow. They are not apart from us, but part of us, For love is eternal, And those we love shall be with us throughout all eternity. (Author unknown)

25.01.2022 "The most profound thing my grief counselor told me, he said, 'In any other circumstance, people would think you're going crazy, but in the circumstances you are in, in this profound loss of a child, you are not going insane. You are not crazy. This is a normal reaction. What you are feeling, how you are feeling, this tremendous loss, this anxiety, this not wanting to get out of bed, this not wanting to function, this is normal -- but it is temporary,'"

25.01.2022 What new loss parents really need to know... One day you will laugh. It will be the first time since the loss. It's going to feel foreign to you as it escapes y...our lips. You will most likely feel a blow caused by guilt afterwards. Guilt over the simplicity of laughter. There may also be a sliver sized part of you feeling relief - you are still physically able to laugh. It's ok. After seemingly endless days of tears, there will be a day that passes by and you will realize you did not cry. You will feel many emotions over this. Guilt once again will make its way to your heart. The chances are good you will now cry because you didn't cry. It's ok. Youll think the first year will be the hardest. Learning a new normal without them will be the worst part. The first birthday without them. The first angel anniversary. Yes. The first year is horrific. It will be a blur. You will grasp tightly to the false promise next year will be easier. It isn't. The second year the haze you've lived in since their death has lifted. The reality settles in. Everyone's lives around you continued to go on while your world came to a screeching stop. Your second year may very likely be harder in its own way than the first. It's ok. New people will enter your life. They will give you something you need now, something you have never needed before. Some old people may exit your life. What they provided you with in the past is no longer what is best for you. It's ok. You will never be the person you once were. A new version of yourself will emerge. The new you is not strong like everyone tells you, but you already know that. It isn't strength you have gained - it is wisdom, unwanted and unwarranted. It is the wisdom of living 100 lifetimes in the span of one, seeing and feeling the best and the worst. You are changed because you are viewing the world through a different lens now. It will take time for you to get to know the new you. Be patient, you'll get there. It's ok. You will never get used to your child being dead. No matter how much time passes. This is not something the heart was built to endure nor does it have the capacity to accept it. You will grieve for the rest of your life despite opinions on when your grief should expire. It's ok. Years will pass by and you'll find yourself crying alone in your car just because you're missing them a little extra. No, you never really get over it. But you will find balance. With the balance you will discover a different way to dance. You'll continue to fall and get dirty time after time. With each fall you will crawl, fight and pick yourself back up again. You will see the beauty through the pain. You will feel the joy through the sorrow. You will laugh without guilt and remember them with a smile. And its ok.

24.01.2022 Sharing from Compassionate Friends member, Claire Anne... Just a thought... In conversation we often refer with affection to dead artists, musicians, writers, ...statesmen, parents, grand-parents, beloved pets... so why is there so much stigma surrounding referring to a dead son or daughter? How often as bereaved parents do we face the dilemma in everyday social situations, when asked Do you have any children? Do you mention your dead child and risk more often than not drawing the conversation to an abrupt awkward end and alienating acquaintances? Or do you deny your child ever existed? My choice is simple, I will never deny the existence of my daughter to anyone, (their discomfort is Im afraid not mine.) I am still and always will be a mother to two gorgeous amazing kids which I am equally proud of... Would I expect a proud parent not to tell me about their child? So why hope that, or expect a bereaved parent not to mention theirs? #childloss #bereavedmother #gonetoosoon #griefjourney

24.01.2022 ***** CLOSING DATE FOR REGISTRATIONS FOR THIS EVENT IS THIS FRIDAY, SEPT. 11. ***** We are pleased to announce that this gathering will go ahead on Saturday, 19th September, 9:30am 5:00pm, at The Castlereagh Boutique Hotel, with all requirements in place to ensure the safety of everyone attending. The cost of the event on September 19 is $50pp (incl. morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea). There will also be a dinner on Saturday night at the hotel at a cost of $45 pp. Contact TCF NSW on 9290 2355 or [email protected] for registration and accommodation details.

23.01.2022 So true . . . . . . . .

22.01.2022 ABOUT ANDY, By Emma K - 2015 I could tell you how amazing his smile was, I could tell you how his eyes shone when he was up to no good and that his soul was a bit wild. But my heart longs for the was to become is and now this will never be. This story is about my grief, which has become my connection to my son now, my son who died in March 2013. He was 18 and his name was Andy. In the first year after his death I was compelled to survive my grief. I raged against my own... dying of the light with an unstoppable passion to change my life. I needed to replicate the values that were important to me and live them to the fullest. I couldnt live any other way. I moved to the country, started growing vegetables, making cheese, became passionately involved in my community and fell back in love with the nature surrounding me and the slower speed of life. It was there that I found him again, in a quieter place. I found him in the smile of others who I had helped. I found him in the hard work in the earth on our little farm and the laughter of my other children as they played with chooks, slopped in mud. I found him away from the old house where we got the phone call about his death, away from the routine I could not continue after he was gone. I remembered him as a young boy up a tree and his fascination with bugs and creatures. I remembered his soft nature that attracted children to climb on his strong frame every time I would look up into the branches of the huge elm in the front yard. Its coming up to the 2nd year anniversary of his death and I am once again fighting. I am confronted by another added year as I feel like losing him happened yesterday. It is at this time when I find it hard to concentrate, I dont sleep well, and I feel overwhelmed and scared. But this passes usually with a good cry. Sometimes I have to work harder at it . . . There are some things I will never really enjoy anymore, like photos of family on the wall because his face will never age. My birthday because hell never share it with me. But I love the strength I have found in myself. And I love that I appreciate every day. I always feel my hearts broken pieces, but I like them, they make me who I am and remind me of who he was, so I embrace them. Taken from The Rosemary Branch, Autumn 2015 See more

21.01.2022 This heartbreaking beautiful artwork created by Albert György (living in Switzerland, but born in Romania) can be found in Geneva in a small park on the promena...de (Quai du Mont Blanc) along the shore of Lake Geneva. It shows the power of love. A mothers love. A fathers love. Grandparents love. Love of siblings, friends and strangers. The thought of losing a child is unimaginable but for many, its all too real and some have written that this sculpture depicts how they feel an emptiness. John Maddox wrote, We may look as if we carry on with our lives as before. We may even have times of joy and happiness. Everything may seem normal. But THIS, Emptiness is how we all feelall the time. For more information please see link below. https://totallybuffalo.com/a-sculpture-that-creates-intens/

20.01.2022 For today's second video in our #ListenNow series, Justin Smith is joined by Jon and Sue Stebbins from The Compassionate Friends Victoria who speak about their ...son, Matthew, who died to suicide, their experiences as grieving parents, and how anyone can support a family who have experienced such a loss. The Compassionate Friends Victoria (TCFV) is dedicated to supporting grieving parents, siblings and grandparents in the event of the death of a child of any age or from any cause. Join the conversation or share your own Listen Now stories with the hashtag #ListenNow #ListenNow week : August 24th 30th The Compassionate Friends Victoria are available for 24 Hour Grief Support: Phone: 03 9888 4944 or 1300 064 068 (Please note: This is not a crisis service). If you need immediate support, please call Lifeline 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14 To view the full #ListenNow video series visit https://tobinbrothers.com.au/listen-now/

20.01.2022 The TCF Council has organised a Gathering to take place on Sat. Sept. 19 at a city location. Lindey Milan, bereaved mother of son, Blair, is to be the main speaker. We are concerned to ensure the health and well being of everyone attending, so a decision will be made a few weeks ahead as to whether this gathering can be held safely. Our thoughts are with everyone as we tackle the challenges of living through this pandemic. Enquiries: 9290 2355 or email: [email protected]

20.01.2022 'When we lose a loved one, our grief never stops. Loss becomes a permanent part of us, but at the same time it can activate new pathways: affecting us in mind, body and spirit; transforming us into survivors of loss with a new strength of purpose, resilience and empathy.'

19.01.2022 Honouring and loving all bereaved dads, stepdads and granddads.

17.01.2022 For those attending the TCF gathering on Sat. Sept 19, who may be wanting to book accommodation for the Friday and/or Saturday night, room rates vary, starting from $120 at the venue. The Castlereagh Boutique Hotel has kindly offered a discount rate. Please use this code when booking your accommodation in order to receive the discount. You will need to book your accommodation directly with the hotel (see link below). Discount Code: WINTER20 Please use this link:... https://www.thecastlereagh.com.au/boutique-accommodation-sy Enter the code on that first webpage, select your dates, number of guests, and click on the Book Now button: Please note, this is a Covid-19-safe venue, so precautions are being taken: You will need to sign in upon entry to the hotel Your temperature will be taken Hand sanitiser will be provided Socially distant seating will be provided Masks will be provided to anyone wanting one at The Gathering If you have any questions, please feel free to contact TCF NSW on 9290 2355 or [email protected]

17.01.2022 Thursday, September 10, is World Suicide Prevention Day. For those bereaved by suicide, for whom suicide memorial services offer comfort and a sense of support, this year is particularly difficult, as most services will not be held in the interests of public health. Our thoughts are with all those bereaved by suicide and the beautiful lives lost, who will be forever mourned and remembered with great love.

16.01.2022 Absolutely true. No grieving person should have to deal with anyone advising them to 'find the positives' in their loss. Never, ever.

15.01.2022 "Each page of the calendar I turn over puts a measureable distance between the day you left & the current day" so true....Time moves forward without them but they stay firmly in our heart

14.01.2022 We are pleased to announce that this gathering will go ahead on Saturday, 19th September, 9:30am 5:00pm, at The Castlereagh Boutique Hotel, with all requirements in place to ensure the safety of everyone attending. The cost of the event on September 19 is $50pp (incl. morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea) and registrations must be received by September 11. There will also be a dinner on Saturday night at the hotel at a cost of $45 pp. Contact TCF NSW on 9290 2355 or [email protected] for registration and accommodation details.

14.01.2022 TCF NSW CHRISTMAS TALK Saturday, Nov. 21,10.30 - 2.30 Wendy Liu from Sydney Grief Counselling Services will speak about surviving xmas and coping with special o...ccasions. This will be especially helpful for more newly bereaved people, but everyone is warmly welcome to attend the talk. Castlereagh Boutique Hotel, 169 Castlereagh St., Sydney You can book to attend the talk only, or stay on for lunch, which will be served at 12.30 in the Club Dining Room The cost of lunch is $25 per head, to be prepaid to TCF NSW. Please let us know if you can join us for the talk only and/or for lunch only, no later than Friday, Nov. 13. Payment details will be given. You are very welcome to join us and meet other bereaved parents and siblings. RSVP - TCF NSW 9290 2355 See more

12.01.2022 Our TCF Gathering last Saturday was well attended and what a heartfelt, informative and enjoyable day it was. Keynote speaker, LYNDEY MILAN, well known media personality, spoke so movingly of the sudden death of her beloved and talented son, Blair, who died at just 29 years of age, from acute myeloid leukaemia. TCF President, Linda C., gave an excellent talk on listening, an often underestimated way of providing real support and comfort to bereaved people. The day ended with a talk given by Dr ANDREW BROWNING, Obstetrician/Gynaecologist, who has worked tirelessly in Ethiopia and Tanzania for more than 17 years, operating on thousands of women suffering from obstetric fistula. A huge thanks to Linda, Joy and Lyn for their endless efforts in organising this rewarding day.

12.01.2022 Never question the good days .... embrace them

11.01.2022 As we are all aware, the updates on keeping safe in this state are changing almost every day. This makes the task of planning for this gathering very challenging, despite the hard work and continuing efforts of all at TCF to bring the comforts and inspirations of this day to bereaved people. We will always abide by the current health advice in keeping everyone safe, while trying to provide what services we can. Sending our love and understanding to all.

10.01.2022 "Today was a Difficult Day," said Pooh. There was a pause. "Do you want to talk about it?" asked Piglet.... "No," said Pooh after a bit. "No, I don't think I do." "That's okay," said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend. "What are you doing?" asked Pooh. "Nothing, really," said Piglet. "Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don't feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either. "But goodness," continued Piglet, "Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you. And I'll always be here for you, Pooh." And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs...he thought that his best friend had never been more right." - A.A. Milne Sending thoughts to those having a Difficult Day today and hope you have your own Piglet to sit beside you

07.01.2022 ~The Loss Of A Sibling~ To those that we lost - we werent their parents that chose to give them life. Nor their partners that they chose to be together with i...n life. Nor the titled Best Friend who they gave that badge to in life. Or even their children whom they gave life. We were just simply there. And because of that, the power of our love for each other (and the grief in losing each other) is underestimated. Simply put, my brother was the one person whom arguably knew me the most and I thought would be with me throughout my life. Unlike my partner, he knew where I came from and who I was as a child. Unlike my friends, he knew my home life, family and the bits I wouldnt want to show my friends. Unlike my parents, he knew who I was at school, the true details (sometimes secrets) of my life and connections I made. He was present more than anyone, shared a deep connection with me and shaped who I am. We were each others friend, protector, confidant and memory keeper. There will be few that ever know me so well. And vice versa. I lost my brother suddenly in the middle of the night 9 years ago. Prior to my brothers death, I had experienced other deaths. They were incredibly sad, but losing my brother was damaging. It fundamentally changed who I was. I think back to old me and feel so jealous of the freedom I lived life with. Back then, I didnt know there was this other way of living - where the mortality of all those I love was constantly at risk and where Im unable to receive a text message at night without having a panic attack. Even my children, whom never got to meet their uncle, are affected by his death because I catastophise easily and Im overprotective of them. His death meant losing him, changing me AND reshaping my family. As parents, we witness our children cry quite frequently and know that we have quite a lot of power to help them. But do you remember how you felt the last time you saw your parents cry? As children, we look to our parents for guidance and strength, so seeing my parents breakdown after the loss of my brother felt like the ultimate feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. Trying to conjure the energy for parentification while also grieving my brother was hard. Because, I felt I had to be strong for my parents - after all, they had lost their child. And obviously my brother is irreplaceable, but his absence often left me feeling like I needed to fill in my brothers role in the family. He was the funny one and after his death, I wasnt sure my family would ever laugh again. As I was most like him, I unintentionally tried to take on that role. (Im sure much to his dissatisfaction.) Even now, I live with sibling survivors guilt. Im my parents hardest child - he was their only son. Would this have been easier if it were me instead of him? Being his older sister by two years, Im mad that I didnt protect him enough. And being so close in age I feel guilty with each life experience and milestone I make that he misses out on. So many nights Ive laid in bed and internally begged, pleaded and bargained with my brother to come to me to tell me hes okay and to relieve me of my suffering. Many nights I wouldnt even want to fall to sleep in case I dreamt of him and then had to leave him again by waking up. Eventually, my faith, religion and spirituality also died after my brother. At a time I even became so delusional that I fantasised that my (childless) brother had a pregnancy with someone before his death, and they just hadnt reached out to us yet fearing wed be upset. I think my mind did this, not because I wanted my brother reincarnated, but because I wanted to have someone (this imaginary baby) in my life that I could talk to about my brother constantly without feeling like I was going to burden, upset or bore them. Because each year that passes feels like hes being pulled mercilessly further away from me. That people will eventually start to question, surely shes over it and moving on by now? That as I age without him my memories of us together wont be as sharp. And I will continue to grieve as the photos I stare at he will forever be preserved as that age and I start to look less alike. Im not even sure what all this writing was hoping to achieve. Probably to recognise, again, the significance of this shitty day to me. Or maybe, just maybe, you too have lost a brother or sister? If thats the case, your grief is recognised, significant and Im sorry for your loss. Missing my brother today, again tomorrow and every day. Love you, brother.

05.01.2022 They are not dead, Who leave us this great heritage of remembering joy. They still live in our hearts, In the happiness we knew, in the dreams we shared.... They still breathe, In the lingering fragrance, windblown, from their favourite flowers. They still smile in the moonlights silver, And laugh in the sunlights sparkling gold. They still speak in the echoes of the words weve heard them say again and again. They still move, In the rhythm of waving grasses, in the dance of the tossing branches. They are not dead; Their memory is warm in our hearts, comfort in our sorrow. They are not apart from us, but part of us, For love is eternal, And those we love shall be with us throughout all eternity. (Author unknown) See more

05.01.2022 "Fathers Day brings the feelings of loss into sharp focus for a bereaved father but in reality, it is little different from any other day of the year. ... Evies gone, never to return. How do we survive it? Part of me wants to recognize that I am still a father, but another part just wants to push through and get the day over with." Bryan Clover

04.01.2022 Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts and words, Debbie.

03.01.2022 Loving in separation

03.01.2022 The void of grief. Such a powerful image. Thank you to The Good Grief Trust for sharing.

03.01.2022 Today is Bereaved Fathers Day, sending love to you all

02.01.2022 This is a wonderful innovation in offering much needed support to bereaved people, especially in these times of restricted contact with others.

01.01.2022 Honouring the bereaved families who have joyfully and with much love cared for their precious children living with a disability or serious illness.