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The Nurtured Effect

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25.01.2022 This really hits home for me. I don't remember ever really feeling safe as a kid. I always had a sense of being 'on'. Literally living in a hypervigilent state which takes it's toll on your nervous system and adrenals. I learnt to build a protective barrier around myself which actually doesn't protect you from pain. It adds to it because that same barrier prevents you from letting in real heart connections, which in turn causes us pain when we go without.... For those of us that have experienced trauma (does that leave anyone out?), being able to receive a corrective experience can allow us to gently take down those barriers and let more love into our lives. That's what I experienced after my first attunement therapy session. It was interesting to watch myself become more chatty when normally I'd be the kind of person who would pretend not to notice people just so I could avoid connecting. This is why I became a practitioner myself. I genuinely want so much for others to live a beautiful life full of rich connections. If you would like to talk with me to get a sense of whether what I offer could be beneficial to you. Please get in touch. I'm happy to answer any questions. With love Eve

21.01.2022 As a little one, you learned the ancient responses of fight or flight, as the best way you knew to care for yourself, in response to overwhelm in your precious ...little nervous system. To deny what you were experiencing - or to spin out in a frenetic scramble to obtain relief from it - these archaic strategies were intelligent and helped to keep you alive. But here you are now, longing to know love as the organizing principle of this sacred universe and of this ripening grace-body. You need yourself now more than ever. You have capacities now that you did not have as a little one in your family of origin. As the intensity comes, you can slow way down, stay close, and infuse each feeling and emotion with your presence and your holding. Paint these abandoned ones with light and watch the miracle unfold. See that nothing is happening to you from the outside. These arising feelings, emotions, and fiery sensations are only long-lost pieces of your tender heart and your raw open body, seeking admittance back into the vastness and the majesty of what you are. Practice a wild embodiment and intimacy with the visitors of wisdom and allow them to wash through you. For this is the wild path of metabolization by love. Every time you numb or urgently spin off to seek relief in story and abandoning behavior, you reinforce the neural groove that your experience is invalid, that it is unworkable, and that you are not capable of metabolizing the aliveness that you are longing for. This might be seen as the ultimate act of somatic aggression and violence; a miracle is being revealed and is aching for your presence. Stay close for just a moment and you will lay down a new groove in your brain and nervous system - a portal and passageway of love. You can hold so much. Open the door to the one who is knocking, see that it is you, and ignite a revolution of presence and compassion.

20.01.2022 Thankyou everyone for all the likes. Thankyou everyone for all the likes.

20.01.2022 Beautiful and accurate words by Matt Licata. Even if your early environment was one of empathic failure, developemental trauma and insecure attachment, it is never too late. Each time you attune to another - or to the unmet inner 'other' within you - a new world is born.

18.01.2022 Could Attunement Therapy Help You? *Do you want more healthy human connection in your life? *Do you feel separate from others or that you dont belong?... *Do you feel empty or not good enough/ abandoned/ rejected? *Do you want to heal an emotional imbalance such as stress or anxiety? *Do you find it hard to calm down and relax? *Do you have a physical injury that needs to healing? *Do you have a chronic illness? *Do you suffer from addiction or compulsive behaviors? *Do you feel unsafe in your body or in the world? *Do you have traumatic events you want to heal? *Do you suffer from destructive emotional habits such as rage, violence or resentment? *Do you suffer from relationship or sexual dysfunction/sexual confidence? *Are you looking for more positivity, happiness and hope in your life? *Could you do with more creative inspiration in your life? Disconnection is the root cause of so much of the pain present in todays society, and connection is the antidote. This healing modality is stunning in its simplicity and effectiveness.

15.01.2022 I would never claim that 'Attunement Therapy' can heal your trauma. But what I would say is that it would allow your nervous system to unwind to the point that you, yourself become a safe container to hold it without it taking you over. For anyone who's experienced being triggered knows, its bloody scary. That feeling that rushes up through your body, grabbing hold of you, the instant tension in your neck and shoulders, the inability to think logically or rationally, it can... even affect your eye sight. You're know longer in control. Your back to the age where the trauma first happened. What you say and do from this space never has a positive outcome. And your nervous system each time becomes more tightly wound. The more we can give our nervous systems the experience that we are its safe place, it learns to unwind, we feel more grounded and at peace. And when we are triggered, we are better equipped to move through it with grace, again giving ourselves the experience that 'we've got ourselves, and we are safe'. Our lives signifcantly change in many areas when trauma isn't the driving force. We can step out into the world and engage with people without the protective armor, and feel free to be ourselves. I used to long to hear the words 'I've got you'. Now I can say them to myself and feel the truth of that.

15.01.2022 Hello, I just wanted to share something with those who may be isolated at home on their own. Those that may be struggling and really yearning for human touch. Obviously at this time its not easy to be able to recieve that. Some of us even under 'normal' circumstances don't have that in our lives. I have found myself at times so wanting to just be held, to feel the arms of someone loving, embrace me and pull me in. To place a gentle hand on my cheek and say "everything is goi...ng to be ok". And yet it just hasn't been there. So how I've met my own needs in those times is to close my eyes and visualise someone embracing me - In my case it was my Grandmother whom I'd never met. The reason I chose her was because there was no emotional charge that could block me from imagining recieving her love and embrace. I would sit on my couch and imagine my head laying against her chest. I'd wrap my own arms around me and at times softley caress my own face. All the time imagining it was her that was holding me. This may seems like an odd thing to do, but if you have a pretty good imagination, your nervous sytem isn't going to know the difference. You can still give yourself that loving touch your body so deeply craves. We are built for connection, for touch and affection. I believe on another level that if we can learn to meet our own needs in this way, that we are creating an energetic shift within our own being, which then allows us to be open to recieving from another. Sending love to you all. Eve

15.01.2022 Attunement Therapy offers connection to: *those who have none,... *those who need extra, *those who need hope, *those who desire to heal anything, *those in pain, *those who want to feel again, *those that want to transcend their past story *to those who feel they dont want connection *and to those who want to transform what motives them in life To find out more information or to book an appointment - send me a message or give me a call.

15.01.2022 When giving an Attunement Therapy session, I've at times had a very strong sense of holding someones inner child. I automatically go into a maternal role as if this person was my own child. Being a mother myself obviously helps, so does being an empathic person, perhaps that I'm a cancerian too and that I too have known neglect and the yearning to be held. Its a heart opening experience. If you went without consistent, healthy, loving touch as a child, experienced neglect in... the way your caretaker wasn't available to help guide you through your emotions and hold space for them, hug you tight when you needed it most or they werent really ever in their bodies to be able to energetically be present for you. Attunement Therapy is a way you can give your inner child what he/she needed. Healing doesn't work in a linear fashion. You can be the one who gives you what you now want. Your teaching yourself that you are worthy of recieving with no obligation to give in return. Just you recieving, its all about you. Please feel free to message me or give me a call if you'd like to discuss whether a session would be beneficial to you.

12.01.2022 Fawning as a trauma response is disempowering and it stems from pain. With therapy you can begin to reorient yourself towards a more authentic, fulfilling way of connecting with others.

10.01.2022 Today is our national 'R U OK' day. I think many people fear asking someone if they are ok because what if they are not and what if we don't have the ability to help them or the time to fully engage if they do choose to share their story. So I would suggest creating space for yourself before asking that friend that may be struggling and remember just your undivided presence, your desire to understand and validate their experience is powerful enough. So powerful in fact.

06.01.2022 THE TURBULENCE OF HEALING Healing from trauma - which I am defining here as chronically suppressed emotion - can sometimes feel like going through severe turbul...ence on a night flight. When your squished-down grief, terror, shame and rage decide to break through the egos defences and surge into conscious awareness, when you start to un-freeze and contact the raw and inconvenient truth of whats inside you, it can feel really disorienting, uncomfortable, can feel unsafe and unnatural, can feel like youve lost control, can feel like it will never end and youll be stuck in darkness forever. But the turbulence is perfectly safe, and normal, and healthy! And it will pass, and your flight WILL arrive at its destination, and you WILL heal. In the midst of the turbulence of emotion, its easy to get lost in thinking and fantasy, in fast-forwarding the movie, leaving the present and imagining the future. This is too much. Its going to get worse. Im going to die. Something is going horribly wrong. I am broken. I need to get off this damn flight... But emotional turbulence is not a sign of your failure or brokenness, just as actual turbulence on a flight is not a sign that you have gone off course, or the pilot has lost control, or the airplane is broken, or the destination is now impossible to reach. Emotion is always safe, even if it sometimes feels unsafe in its intensity. The body can be trusted absolutely. Intensity is not inherently dangerous. Planes are built to withstand even the most extreme turbulence. And so you learn to breathe through the discomfort, and lean in to the rawness of the moment, and this is how even the deepest trauma is ultimately healed. Through love. Through deep acceptance. Through faith. Through penetrating even our most profound discomfort with a loving awareness. Through coming out of our minds, out of our futures, and into our present bodies... Trust the turbulence, friend; it means that youre soaring. - Jeff Foster

06.01.2022 Science keeps telling us to #cuddle our children. Its interesting how many scientists are now focusing on the thinking that happens not in your #brain but in y...our #gut. You have #neurons spread through your innards, and theres increasing attention on the vagus nerve, which emerges from the brain stem and wanders across the heart, lungs, kidney and gut. The #vagus nerve is one of the pathways through which the body and brain talk to each other in an unconscious conversation. Much of this conversation is about how we are relating to others. Human thinking is not primarily about individual calculation, but about social engagement and #cooperation. Stephen Porges is well-known for his Polyvagal Theory, which focuses on how the concept of #safety is fundamental to our mental state. Porges tells us that those who have experienced #trauma have bodies that are highly reactive to perceived threat. They dont like public places with loud noises. They live in fight-or-flight mode, stressed and anxious. Or, if they feel trapped and constrained, they go numb. Their voice and tone go flat. Physical reactions shape our way of seeing and being. When were really young we know few emotion concepts. Young children say, I hate you! when they mean I dont like this because they havent learned their cultures concepts for hatred vs. badness. But as we get older we learn more emotional granularity. The emotionally wise person can create distinct experiences of disappointment, anger, spite, resentment, grouchiness and aggravation, whereas for a less emotionally wise person those are all synonyms for I feel bad. A wise person may know the foreign words that express emotions we cant name in English: tocka (Russian, roughly, for spiritual anguish) or litost (Czech, roughly, for misery combined with the hunger for revenge). People with high emotional granularity respond flexibly to life, have better mental health outcomes and drink less. Cuddles help develop emotional granularity. If bodily reactions can drive people apart they can also heal. Martha Welch of Columbia University points to the importance of loving physical touch to lay down markers of #emotional #stability. Under the old brain-only paradigm, we told people to self-regulate their emotions through conscious self-talk. But real emotional help comes through co-regulation. When a caregiver and a child physically hold each other, their bodily autonomic states harmonise, connecting on a #metabolic level. Together they move from separate distress to mutual calm. When we step back and see the brain and body thinking together, the old distinction between reason and emotion doesnt seem to make sense. Our very perceptions of the world are shaped by the predictions our brains are making about our physical autonomic states. And we can also see how important it is to teach emotional granularity, starting from birth. https://www.nytimes.com///opinion/brain-body-thinking.html #neurochild #regulate #relate #reason #childdevelopment

02.01.2022 I remember when I received my very first Attunement Therapy session. I came to from going to a very deep place, not asleep but definetly to a different realm. There was 10mins left of being held. As I lay on the practitioners chest, I was acutely aware of how relaxed I was. Like I hadn't been that relaxed in over 10 years. And the after affects from that session were profound. I'll go into depths about that in another post. But one thing I want to mention today was how my social anxiety almost dissipated. My nervous system unwound to the degree that I was able to just be me again. My sympathetic nervous system was constantly on at this point in my life, so I wasn't completed healed. But I certainly noticed a significant difference to how I showed up in life. I began to like being me again.