The Shallot | Public figure

The Shallot

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24.01.2022 Hook him brus, fucking do it mate.

18.01.2022 A local bar manager is reaching for the Michael Bublé Christmas CD and terrifying staff in the process.

18.01.2022 Apologies, our website crashed due to high amounts of traffic, working on it now to update you on the latest Food and Drink news later this afternoon.

17.01.2022 The Shallot is unable to tell for sure at this juncture, however, we suspect this particular cake may just enjoy a cream filling more than some other cakes.

15.01.2022 Yeah, we’re really going to carve up some powder, says Chef, touching his nose.

12.01.2022 I’m definitely going to be looking at some courses tonight, it would be a shame to waste my natural talent, ay? Tim added, excited for his new life of being hated by tradies on-site.

12.01.2022 I’d already asked her if she’d like to order 3 times, said Cafe employee, Jemima Keyton (20) My job would be so much easier if people just signaled when ready to order, with either clicking of fingers, a sharp squeal or the arm in the air

10.01.2022 I mean, since the dawn of man, BBQ has been served on a bed of fresh curly-P and I’ll be damned if I even look at another succulent pork rib until this crisis is over

09.01.2022 Renown Chef, Heston H. Blumenthal, has today been taken into Australian police custody after housekeeper, Singh Patelli, found a severed head disguised as pasta amatriciana in the family fridge.

09.01.2022 Celebrity Chef, George ‘porgey’ Calombaris, today struck a horse, yet again unable to contain himself at a sporting event.

09.01.2022 Timothy King is facing a sentence of up to 10 years for this heinous crime, however local Silk, Charles Waterstreet reckons he could probably get it down to 6

08.01.2022 Over 85% of the nations pilot lights are ‘lit as fuck’ as we speak.

05.01.2022 "I'm going to have to struggle through this fucking thing for the next hour, god I hope one of these girls saw me straighten my cufflink and ask for a Manhattan," Jaryd broods.

02.01.2022 I think I may have shit the bed on this one