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25.01.2022 Did you know that confidence is directly related to posture? Keeping the head, neck, spine and lower body all in line allows the body to expand and work with the natural rhythm of the breath. When our posture is good our lungs are able to inhale fully allowing us to exhale with one, long breath before taking in another breath. ... This focused, controlled breathing brings us into the parasympathetic nervous system (for the yogis amongst us, you will be familiar with this term) which is where we are when we feel calm and at ease. Where we feel confident and grounded. Try to stand and walk well with your spine in line and see how much more confident you feel. Let me know how it works! @ninoliverani #confidence #posture #empoweringwomen #confidencecoachingforwomen #softskillstraining #socialskillsconfidence #onlinecoaching #etiquetteconsultant #etiquette #anaretallacketiquette #thestandardcompanion #womeninleadership

22.01.2022 I received some sad news the other day. A school friend of mine died very suddenly over the weekend. It has been a shock to us all. Just 56 years of age and someone who was looking forward to early retirement to continue making music. Had it not been for social media I may not have heard the news until months down the line, particularly now in a reduced form of lockdown, so I am grateful for technology and how it keeps us connected. However, it did have me question how best t...o deal with a letter of condolence. The correct etiquette would be to hand write a letter to the next of kin expressing my sadness and offering my condolences. That said I decided to deviate from this usual protocol. The postal service is not particularly good at the best of times and given the current situation the letter would likely take around 4 weeks to get to the UK so I decided to email my condolences to his partner instead. For the purists amongst you, I will have committed the ultimate sin. Yes, it did feel odd to do it this way; my mother had always drummed into my brother and myself that condolence letters should always be handwritten. But I believe I made the right decision. Although I did not know his partner I thought it was important to connect with her as soon as I could to acknowledge his passing as well as to let her know that she was in my thoughts. As if it is not difficult enough right now to be devoid of human contact - those hugs and a touch of the arm to let people know you care - then this is certainly a time where rules can be put aside to ensure that we show our respect as one human to another and to reach out when things are tough enough already, and in this case I believe speed was of the essence. I just hope she thinks the same. @stayandroam

22.01.2022 Interested or nosy? We are all familiar with the concept that in order to make effective small talk we need to show interest in the other person. Asking questions is the best way to get conversation rolling but how do we know if we have posed a question too far, or too many? The answer is to being alert and recognising the cues that indicate that we should no longer follow a certain line of questioning. Let me give you an example: Person A: 'How was your weekend away?'... Person B: 'It was great, thanks!' A simple, inoffensive example of how to get a conversation started. It shows interest in the other person and an attention to detail since Person A remembered that Person B was going away for the weekend. Person A: 'Where did you go?' Person B: 'Northern Victoria' This is passable - just - as a second line of questioning. The question 'where did you go?' could be better phrased with a less intrusive one such as 'did you go anywhere nice' or 'did you have to travel far?' This is a far more subtle line of questioning and yet can still yield the answer Person A was looking for. Yet still Person A persists: Person A: 'So where in northern Victoria did you go?' Person B: 'On the Murray River' This second line of questioning by Person A is now firmly into the realms of nosiness. How do we know this? Firstly, Person B responded to the first question in general terms stating they had been to 'northern Victoria'. Person A should have picked up the cue that for whatever reason, Person B didn't particularly want to share their weekend location with them. If they had, they would have said so in response to the very first question e.g. 'I went to Echuca, up in north Victoria'. Secondly, the response by Person B to 'so where in northern Victoria did you go?' was met with a second general response, 'on the Murray River.' This was yet another warning shot to Person A that they were not willing to tell them precisely where they had been. Being super vigilant for nuances during conversation is critical in building trusting and healthy relationships. Respecting another's reasons for not sharing certain information is a must and in doing so, a conversation is more likely to open up and develop rather than be curtailed because someone feels interrogated and threatened. @linkedinsalesnavigator

20.01.2022 I don't know about you but I find coaching online is a very different kettle of fish to a face to face session. There is little more than your voice and a few slides to engage your client or group. A face to face session gives your client the opportunity to take a few seconds to focus on their surroundings instead and use them as anchors for those thoughtful moments when they may be considering what you have just said: a staff member who may be clearing away some left over mo...rning tea items, for example, or a noisy car that drives past the window of your meeting room. Online sessions offer none of these welcome distractions and that can make it very hard for both the coach and the client. As a coach, I am super vigilant of my client's non-verbal feedback - a stifled yawn, a blank expression, a zoning-out at times. As online coaches it is vital that we keep our clients engaged and the best way we can do this is using the Four E's. This is an excellent check list that I was taught by Diana Mather of The English Manner under whom I completed my Train the Trainer certification, and I have found it to be particularly helpful during my Zoom training sessions. Energy no matter how tired you are or how many times you have coached the same subject matter, energy must always be injected into your delivery. Enthusiasm - if you are not enthusiastic about your subject, then why should anyone else be? Effort a good deal of effort must go into researching and preparing your coaching session so that it is perfectly tailored to your client's needs. The same goes for practicing your session using your online learning platform with a trusted colleague or friend. Enjoyment - comes from knowing what you need to say and having prepared so thoroughly that you look forward to imparting the information - this creates energy in itself! #onlinecoaching #presentationskills #energy #enthusiasm #effort #enjoyment #preparationiskey #bodylanguage #readingbodylanguage #bespoketraining #onetoonecoaching #zoomcoaching #etiquette #etiquetteconsultant #globalcoaching #anaretallacketiquette #thestandardcompanion #melbourne #australia @thoughtcatalog

16.01.2022 To everyone I know in the UK - my family, friends and business colleagues - I am thinking of you all as you wake up to the first day of another lockdown. 2020 has been tough beyond words. Be kind. Be patient. Be strong. @sxtcxtc The hardy, strong and beautiful English Oak.

16.01.2022 "They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old; Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning We will remember them."... For The Fallen by Laurence Binyon Photo: @jordachelr

13.01.2022 While scrolling through my photos this morning I found this little gem of wisdom and advice. It was a photo I took at the Australian Open earlier this year and was one of the cornerstones of conduct for the ballkids. My son was lucky enough to have been selected as a ballkid so he got to see this every day. It reminded me that although our journeys are all very different, the basics remain the same: turn up, give 100% and be open to improvement. ... #loveyourlife #commitment #positivemindset #opportunities #lifeskills #softskills #melbourne #melbourneinfluencer #melbournecity #thestandardcompanion #anaretallacketiquette #anaretallack #thestandardcompanion #melbourne #victoria #australia

13.01.2022 TRICKY FOOD TIP CANAPÉS should not look as if they have been on a course of steroids - most unappealing - but instead should be tempting, delicate, bite-sized morsels that can be eaten in one mouthful. Very often they are far too large: pretty and creative though they may be, there is no easy way to tackle them elegantly so I usually pass when offered one. However, if I see other guests in my conversation group tackling them, then it's in for a penny, in for a pound! Do the best you can and laugh off any less than attractive mishaps. @sebastiancoman

11.01.2022 As humans we are hard-wired to be social creatures which is why many of us in various levels of lockdown are struggling in isolation - physically and emotionally. We crave human interaction. We are all itching to get back to 'normal'; to socialise again and be with our fellow beings, but how will our social skills stack up after months of Zoom or Teams as our major form of socialisation? Just like a tennis player, skills need to be continually honed to ensure the best outcom...e. No one wants to come out on court and serve double faults for the entire match. Social skills are the same. They too need to be tuned up and exercised. I was on a Zoom call the other day and even with my 'degree level' of soft skills, I noticed how much more effort I was having to make with the standard pre-meeting chit chat, something I would have previously done standing on my head. For those of us living in Melbourne and regional Victoria, the thought of conversing with others face to face in two to three months' time may be bringing feelings of self-doubt, anxiety and nerves to the fore, all of which are understandable. We have been in a social-free bubble for so long that the thought of going through the motions of making that vital small talk and chit-chat may feel like a chore and an uphill struggle. We will feel rusty and clunky and, in some cases, awkward. This whole unsocial experience of COVID-19 has had a profound effect on many. Opinions, priorities and values have no doubt been reassessed, mine included. When we finally step out into the 'new world' we will be feeling our way back into society. We will be cautious and likely reserved in our dealings with others which is why our social skills need to be ready to hit the ground running so that we are better able to flex and pivot dependent on the situation, be that a social or business setting. Yes, as humans we are socially orientated, but I think we need to prepare ourselves for something a little different when we finally break out. @mimithian

11.01.2022 COOK DISHES YOU KNOW Dealing with culinary disasters with grace and serenity is no easy feat at the best of times, let alone at Christmas with guests. My recommendation is that you KISS - Keep Things Simple. This is not the time to try out new recipes to impress your guests, no matter the level of your culinary prowess in the kitchen, unless of course you thrive under the added stress. Cook tried and tested dishes that are delicious and simple, and always use the freshest of ...ingredients for maximum flavour. And if something does not turn out quite as it usually does, never apologise or explain. Instead place it on the table as if nothing is untoward, smile and say: "Now, who would like a slice of the lemon and raspberry roulade?" I think it is worth adding here that one of the most important elements to any gathering is plenty of drink and then none of your guests are any the wiser! #christmas2020 #christmastips #drinks #entertaining #entertainingathome #keepcalmandcarryon #etiquettetips #etiquettecoach #etiquette #christmaslunch #anaretallacketiquetteexpert #thestandardcompanion #melbournelife #australia @alexandernaglestad

08.01.2022 Some more table manners tips to have you stand out for the right reason when you next go to a summer gathering. Whether that is at the home of a friend, client or the boss, or even dining out when larger gatherings are permitted, it is considerate to reflect on our own manners at the table. Most of us have no idea what we look like when we eat! GRAPES As tempting as it may be to pick off one or two grapes from a bunch and pop them directly into your mouth, it is more consid...erate from a hygiene point of view to break off a branch and place on your plate first before plucking them off. It is also the correct way to do it! @chris_reyem

08.01.2022 A question I get asked countless times, particularly in the lead up to Christmas is.......WHAT SHOULD I DO IF PEOPLE ARE LATE FOR THE CHRISTMAS MEAL? Being 10-15 minutes late is acceptable, in fact, preferred, from the host's perspective since it gives him/her a bonus window of time to attend to the last minute jobs (placing hand towels in the bathroom, dashing to the store for more ice, plumping up the sofa cushions etc etc). However, it is extremely rude to arrive very lat...e and keep everyone waiting. I have heard of some guests who are serial latecomers by up to 1 hour or more! There is nothing more frustrating than going to the trouble of preparing a beautiful meal and it being ruined as you wait for the tardy guests to arrive. The answer to this dilemma is to set those boundaries. Tell them the time of the meal and why it matters to be there on time. It may be that you have gone to the expense of cooking a Ledoux or free range bronze turkey or you may have ordered fresh lobster which you do not want spoiled. It is unfair to keep the other guests waiting, most of whom will be hungry or possibly over imbibed when the meal is finally served. In the case of dealing with a second-time offender, I would operate a ‘no wait’ policy and manage it the best you can when the guests finally arrive, but please bear in mind that operating a passive aggressive policy is a no-no as a host. Charm and tact must come to the fore so that the day is not ruined for others. Of course the alternative is don't invite them again but I like to operate inclusivity rather than exclusivity so setting the boundaries in advance and having the discussions ahead of time is the best way round this tricky problem. Good luck! Honest and direct conversation is usually the best policy. DISCLAIMER ALERT! I loved this photo, even if the fork is not doing the right thing with the handle resting on the table - it should be on the plate with the prongs (or 'tines' as they are correctly known) turned over! Glad I got that one off my chest! #christmas2020 #christmasdinner #christmaslunch #etiquettetips #diningetiquette #etiquettecoach #entertainingathome #melbournelife #melbourne #anaretallacketiquetteexpert #thestandardcompanion #australia @heftiba

08.01.2022 Being able to project our voice is a skill that requires practice. Most of us do not give it a second thought to jump on a bike or get into a car and drive, but those skills have only become second nature to us because we have practiced them over and over. Being able to 'throw' our voice to the back of a room so that we can be heard perfectly is one of many skills I believe is vital to boosting our confidence. There is a very good reason that officers under training at milit...ary academies around the world are drilled in the art of voice projection. As a leader of men and women in combat it is imperative that they are heard, to give orders clearly, powerfully and with urgency. When I was under officer training at Britannia Royal Naval College in Dartmouth, we were sent out on to the parade ground to practice these skills. We were required to drive our division of recruits with directions that could be heard from the other side of the parade ground. If we were not heard, some of the group would be confused and perhaps turn the wrong way or stand to attention when they should have been marching! It was quite comical at times but it did unleash something within us that had us believe in ourselves and raised our confidence levels knowing that we were all capable of driving action when we used our voice. In order to communicate effectively, we need to be heard. Not for one moment am I suggesting that CEOs should start barking orders at their executives and teams, but neither do I think that they should be fearful or reserved about sharing their vision with the team. One of the best ways of gaining confidence in communication is to practice talking in a large space and throwing your voice to the rear of the room, filling the space with your words and realising the power of communication you have deep within you, and, with practice dear friends, each and everyone of us has that power to unleash.

07.01.2022 Now that regional Victorians are able to step out beyond their back yards and enjoy a civilised meal at a winery, cafe or restaurant, it might be an opportune moment to mention the subject of table service, particularly since take-away has been the norm for so long. Australians are renowned for their laid back and friendly demeanour which always makes for a very convivial atmosphere when dining out, but wait staff should be forever mindful of their interactions with the diner...s. Here are some tips: Keep the overly chummy greetings on the more reserved side - unless the staff member happens to know the diner but even then it should be discreet. Remain friendly, courteous and gracious. Never get to the point of rib-nudging or back-slapping with the guest. Clever repartee is acceptable as long as the guest has the last say or laugh - it is not a competition. Do not interrupt a conversation between diners with: 'Is everything ok here guys?' No need. Rest assured that your diner will be super quick in getting your attention if something is wrong! Of course it is not a one-way street. There is an expectation of diners to behave cordially too. Gratitude, respect and appreciation for the great work that wait staff do is always welcome. @shotsoflouis

06.01.2022 HOSTING CHRISTMAS GUESTS Why do we find hosting guests over Christmas so stressful? The fact of the matter is that we are always on call and we can never drop our guard entirely. We may very well want to change into our loungewear after a huge Christmas lunch but to do so indicates to your guests that the day is over - from majesty and magic to Kath & Kim in seconds! So here are some tips to ensure you keep all your guests happy (and dressed appropriately!) once Christmas l...unch is over: Have some backyard games set up for the younger members of the family. We always have the table tennis table set up which very often lures the adults to run a 'round robin' parent and child competition but keep an eye on the ultra competitive family members who may inadvertently create some tension or upset! If you have a quieter area of the house, suggest to the older members of the family that they might like to take a postprandial coffee, tea or digestif there so that they can chat or take a catnap in peace. Clear the dining table as you chat to your guests. If my guests offer, then I usually give them a simple task so they feel they have done their bit, but I then insist that they sit down and enjoy another glass of something delicious, or a tea or coffee - or even a slice of Christmas cake if they can manage it. That is the benefit of an open plan living space at Christmas: to be able to keep the conversation flowing while you clear and tidy, and stack the dishwasher for the tenth time in as many hours! #christmas2020 #christmasdinner #games #hostingduties #entertaining #entertainingathome #hostesswiththemostest #etiquettecoach #etiquetteexpert #etiquettetips #anaretallacketiquetteexpert #thestandardcompanion #melbourne #melbournelife #australia @a_lo

05.01.2022 Preparing for a business dining etiquette coaching session for my client who lives in Melbourne. We may not be able to conduct a face to face session just yet but online learning makes it all possible. #dining #diningetiquette #businessskills #businessdining #businessprotocol #foodandwine #etiquettecoach #onlinelearning #zoomtraining #thestandardcompanion #anaretallacketiquette #melbournecity #melbourne #victoria #australia

04.01.2022 Our journeys may be very different but the basics are just the same: turn up, give 100% and be open to improving yourself daily.

03.01.2022 SOFA BED ETIQUETTE Not everyone has a dedicated guest room and if we are entertaining a large number of people then space will be of the premium. As a guest who may be 'camping' in the living area, it is your duty to fold up the bedding every morning and move the air bed or camp bed out of the way so that everyone can sit down. It also means that you should be up and about before others gather for their first cup of coffee or tea: the thought of taking the first sip of coffe...e sitting amongst still-warm bedding, pillows and other personal effects is not overly appealing to me, not to mention the risk of spilling the contents of the mug as you navigate the 'campsite' assault course! If you can, I think it is important to keep a window open slightly during the night so that the room is a little fresher to everyone else when they gather in the morning. How do you manage being a guest in someone's home? Do you enjoy it or is it a challenge to be forever mindful of others? I would love to hear any stories that you can share - without names of course! #christmas2020 #guestetiquette #sofabeds #entertaining #houseguests #etiquettetips #etiquettecoach #anaretallacketiquetteexpert #thestandardcompanion #melbournelife #australia @connorhome

03.01.2022 SEATING PLANS FOR CHRISTMAS LUNCH Christmas is a time when extended family members are usually invited to join the celebrations. This can mean a vast range of characters coming to the table so thought needs to be given to where you seat everyone. For instance, I would not be placing two or three very extrovert family members together who could easily dominate conversation, leaving the quieter members of the family staring at their dinner plate with little chance of engagem...ent. Having a well thought through seating plan means you can split up the extroverts and have them sit next to the less outgoing family members in order to balance the conversation stakes so that everyone can enjoy the family Christmas get-together. #christmas #christmas2020 #christmasdinner #seatingplans #family #etiquettetips #diningetiquette #etiquettecoach #anaretallacketiquetteexpert #thestandardcompanion #melbourne #victoria #australia @davidclode

02.01.2022 Always use a friendly tone on a phone, whether making a call or receiving one, but don't take it too far. An upbeat voice is good as long as it isn't over the top. The aim is to have the other person relaxed by your friendly manner but not feel distrustful of you because you sound fabricated. Trust is more important then ever right now. #trust #speaking #phoneetiquette #phonetechnique #etiquette #speakingwithconfidence #socialetiquette #socialskills #onlinecoaching #etique...ttecoach #softskillstrainer #etiquetteconsultant #anaretallacketiquette #thestandardcompanion #melbourne #victoria #australia @belart84

01.01.2022 I had a disaster in the kitchen yesterday. It was so awful that I couldn't bring myself to take a photo as proof that despite my very capable cooking skills, I had met with failure. Pastry making has never been my forte. My mother and maternal grandmother have always excelled in this area but for some reason I have struggled. Why? I think it quite likely that I have never experienced an overly successful result when trying to perfect a marriage of flour and butter! Since I h...ave had relatively poor experiences in this culinary field, it has had me skip those pages of recipes that involve pastry. The fear of yet another unsuccessful rich shortcrust or vanilla bean pastry has got the better of me. And yet by the very practice of omitting these recipes, I have limited my chances to become a better, all-round cook. The fear of failure has stopped my culinary growth. Like most skills in life, they have to be practiced regularly to become second nature. Just because we purchase a book or complete a programme or course does not mean that the skills we have read or been taught are somehow acquired by a process of osmosis, whether that be baking, networking or learning to play tennis. It just won't happen. We have to put that knowledge into practice as regularly as we can and learn through our experiences, good and bad. So I am going to take a leaf out of my own book here and start attacking that pastry presentiment. No longer will I pretend I have not seen that ultimate pie recipe peering at me from my pile of cook books. Au contraire! I will embrace the pastry phobia and make my peace with it - for the sake of myself and for my family. In other words, I will feel the fear and do it anyway. Reader's Warning: This is not my pie below. This is something instead that I aspire to! #practicemakesperfect #lifeskills #pastry #entertaining #etiquette #fear #feelthefear #socialskills #socialskillstrainer #onlinecoaching #zoomtraining #privatelessons #etiquetteconsultant #anaretallacketiquette #thestandardcompanion #melbourne #australia @hugoaitken