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Tony's Creative Writing
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25.01.2022 Raw These raw, untethered, unrestrained Words that fall upon this page Release just some of my past pain... Refreshing like the sun drenched grains That lie in wait for winter rain Without the knowledge that they'll feed The hungry and the child in need They'll even feed their King and Queen And tax collectors and their greed Why and how these words feed me And give my mind some time to glean The truth from muddy, matted, sheen To see the grey and mouldy walls Like tangled webs hung from my door I'll never win this endless war Words and I affinity Built through years of being missed Of never being on the list Of those that say they really care And look me in the eye and stare While they do they're unaware Of how that stare conjures dread And makes my heart feel like lead While you fill your quota of Ego fed, mindless dross I win because it's not my loss And while you live in times forgot And ponder on the friends you've lost I'm the one who grows amidst This raw, untethered, revealing mist Copyright Anthony Galea April 2021
24.01.2022 Day by day week by week Live each day as its own Learning slowly very slowly Think of now and not the past The past behind it doesn't last ... Today's the day I hold and grasp What's ahead I need and want To push aside the ugly plots To plant instead thoughts of how To enjoy these moments now When I sit aside without A laughing noisy rowdy crowd Always something there to please The pleasure of a lovely day Watching ripples dance and play Of sunshine bursting shining rays Of rain falling forming clay Praying peace states its case So well it wins the prize to stay
24.01.2022 Hi everyone. Plans slowly being made. Thank you all for just being there. I've just finished this. Unwinding... I need to unwind I need so desperately to find A way to sort and consider To stop the cycle thats so bitter The guilt and the shame just must stop Doing nothing but causing unbreakable blocks Blocks the size of gigantic rocks Apparently, its not my fault Apparently, I am good Apparently, I have achieved Apparently, I do have a worth Apparently, there is a purpose Apparently, theres people who care So why is it so that I feel none of this Why do I feel like therell never be bliss Just the fact that Im blaming myself The fact that I blame nobody else The fact Im still dealing with the past Past that is gone and no longer exists Past that should have been laid to rest Past I feel has been sent to test I feel so angry at myself At my non-existent wealth At my non-existent worth What have I done thats so terribly wrong Why do I feel like I just dont belong If I could trust myself to stay To not get on a bus and run away If I could be stable and contemplate If I could feel like Im not going to break If I could stand and fight on my own If I could know how to intervent Or better still, how to prevent Instead of mouthing the words to vent So many people here to help Here in my present unstable state At home where work just adds to the plate Please stop walking on eggshells around me You have a life too and I get in the way Adding more stress day after day While Im trying so hard to get sorted I feel every thought that you feel is contorted How I wish that things were normal Boring and placid without any warring Without my condition that adds to the story Heres to a life that is placid and boring Who needs the turmoil to add to the story Wed rather be surrounded by love Instead of treated with kitten gloves I know and feel the love from you The power is nothing short of intense It shines like a candle left on the bench It makes my heart unintentionally wrench Your passion for life shines like a fire Enraging and glaring and burning the dross Your love does not bother to count the cost Your love is your life your meaning your boss My love back to you is the same The trouble is its hiding my shame The guilt that eats at me in and out That cinders my soul till it drowns in its doubt Thank you my love is whats left to say Thank you for fighting for me every day No man alive deserves what youve done Especially myself when you flood me with love If ever you are asked to prove Your commitment to me and our God and our girls Just show them the scars from the depth of your soul Theyll see they are covered in layers of gold When they ask how that can be done Tell them with love from a source from above The source that has been by our side all along The source that refuses to break His bond The source that has proven that we do belong To Him and His Farther and well sing their song
22.01.2022 Hi all. This is one I just completed. I AM NOT (Wishful Thinking! Not)... I am not a survivor I am a liver of life I am not MacGyver I’m a defeater of strife My life has not been so happy Because your behavior's denied A lot of my basic rights The right to not blame myself The right to not grow in shame The right to not be riddled with guilt The right to not throw the blame Upon the shoulders of myself Or others that do not deserve The right for love overwhelmed To not be left on the shelf I am not going to let you Make me live between your claws Waiting to be devoured Shriveled up like a snail Sleeping within its shell I am going to learn to grow A brand new version you don’t know Of a happier me to live Within my family who have freed Me from your binding destiny Copyright Anthony P Galea May 2021
22.01.2022 Stop Stop this flight I need to get off Stop the noise and constant drone Stop pretending that you care...Continue reading
21.01.2022 PARC I've just spent 28 days In a place I've never stayed And even once I went astray... Where I wandered the whole day I thought they'd never take me back I thought I'd finally done my dash One too many final steps So I walked dead ahead Not until my body said Enough already, just keep going, you'll wind dead It's only then I found a break Away from all the screaming cars And when I looked and saw how far I thought I'd better head on back I turned around and found a phone Standing there on its own Without a coin to drop inside I had to think outside my mind And pray that someone would be kind Enough to spare me just a dime When they were I almost cried When I gotta go back I took some time To calm my nerves and unwind Of course I found it in my rhyme Since then I've made it back to home Where my girls and wife do stand By my side and when I feel like I want to run away and hide And follow that long white line It reminds me of that lonely time Where someone cared and was kind And if a stranger I don't know Can see the fear inside of me How much more my family Just want to see their old me And not have to live with memories So now I'm back with my old team Who love and care immeasurably And that is more than I need To know they really do believe That they are all part of me And we are all our family Copyright Anthony Galea March 2020
21.01.2022 Anxiety Anxiety is such a part of me That I forget that I am me It makes my mind a frightful mess... Scattered here, to and fro Not knowing where on earth to go Afraid to walk outside my door Frightful when your mind is caught Up in its never ending war Of what will happen wrongly next I've been told by someone wise You need to clean out that worried mind You really need to learn to unwind There are millions of your kind Who've learned to push aside Their lying, crying, blinding minds You need to change your thoughts and try Anxiety is worry of future events Truth doesn't seem to ever have it's way Logic doesn't ever seem to have a say When you pull apart and start to analyse The outcome of your very troubled mind Your self prophecies line by line You start to be able to clearly define The truth from the nasty rotten lies I want to say enough of seeing in the dark I want to say that I really need to start Pulling down my self confining mask And start to set my worried confused mind Onto my very, very boring tasks And just keep working till they become the past I want to say all of this to myself To start to stand up with my newly found stealth And build with my newly found wealth My poorly managed unwell health To speak into it truth about today Instead of crawling back to my old ways Now is the time To start a new day Tomorrow is the time To earn what I'm paid Time to start learning Many other ways Of setting my mind To what to do today Instead burning thoughts Amongst the future flames Those thoughts that never See the light of day Copyright Anthony Galea October 2020
21.01.2022 A lot goes round inside my mind I'm sure no more than with yours Scattered thoughts that make no sense They all build up and make me tense Stop and breathe is what I'm taught... Slow my mind a steady walk Eyes a flutter with sparking lights Afraid to just turn off my mind Afraid effects will shut me down Afraid I'll fall flat on the ground Afraid you'll shut me out of town Afraid my friends won't be around I understand this makes no sense I understand just what to do I understand it might just work To understand is not the point Like doing something known as wrong To try and help me to belong I know it's best to get it right Like watching eagles in their flight Like being rugged up nice and tight To stop stop stop my fluttering mind Step by step day by day Always seems a step away Like lifting feet out of the clay Like asking friends to not be swayed Like chasing stations on a train My silly mind just plays it games It loves to fly and soar away So hard to find some ground to claim My wish is for a normal day
21.01.2022 Been a long time since things were new Those moments in time are sparse and few Twelve years have flown I've paid my dues Tonight, reflection sticks like glue My thoughts are scattered and so confused... Looking forward is hard for me A recipe for anxiety Like pulling out plants instead of weeds Proud of work that you believe Will keep the garden fresh and green Until the weeds grow into trees Tomorrow I start a new degree One door closes the next ajar One step ahead never seems far Seems a fight to putt to par Trying to keep a positive mind I've put behind that daily grind Staring at blinking jarring screens Talking to those I need to please A head so full it wants to freeze Off I go to start to anew Train to catch things to do Scorching hot and sky is blue Chilling to a favourite tune Tuning out the crowded smells Forty degrees in the shade This is how I start my day Is there any other way Copyright Anthony Galea November 2019
21.01.2022 My Mask The world I find a dreary drudge Where nothing tastes like chocolate fudge Where all the sweetness sticks like sludge And when it dries to form a crust... We sit and watch until it rusts When all we want is friends who trust Who will be there through all the storms Or when you're really craving warmth We crave and need your real support I'm not afraid to say I cry Some days I cry until I'm blind Of course I do this all alone Who wants to hear my endless drone At least I find a purpose there The tears help to clear my head Though what I need is just clean air And space I seek to lie and stretch And not to have to try and blend Or smile weakly and pretend To follow senseless mindless trends One day I'll learn to drop the mask To feel I have a right to ask How to do a tricky task Without the shaking in my boots Or the need to run and scoot Away and find a hiding hole Where I can sit and blame myself For my non existent wealth I've had to start the game again The game I hate that never ends The game that makes me pay a price Not just once but my whole life Always wrong and never right I have to learn to draw the line To stop the pressure I apply Through nasty worthless untrue lies I want to smile and laugh with you I want that laughter to ring true I want my mind to tell the truth That there are others much worse off The hurt they feel from who knows what Who have to cover pain with gloss Who see the phony fake facade But have to reapply the mask And hope the tears trapped beneath Do not reveal their lonely grief Copyright Anthony Galea September 2019
20.01.2022 I've been sweating and working on this for a couple weeks now. Some I complete in a few minutes. Some take a bit more dragging up. Anyway, hope you enjoy Life just cannot be predicted ... One day the moon is just too low The next I ask where did it go Another day I haven't grown I understand the past has flown That growing up is far too slow So much to learn and gather in The filter finally broken down Like stacking piles far too high Reaching out far too wide Learning how to rein it in Lessons taught then blown away Need to learn to make them stay How we wish for stress free days Support is always there for us But need to learn to help myself To draw from life's unfettered wealth To build a fortress made with faith Relationships are always hard Even with the ones you love Still I want to tread that path To find a fitting like a glove Even when the path is rough To find a friend amongst the throng A friend who stays when all goes wrong A friend who knows that you belong You'll never find a stronger bond Our families stand straight and tall Our grounding and our solid wall To pick us up when we fall Our grateful thanks to one and all
20.01.2022 Resilience Resilience is a word I know In truth I wish it wasn't though Getting over guilt is slow Shame seems like it always grows ... The tide slides in along with death The tides ride out with wounded breath The ball gets kicked from side to side It’s purpose it will never find So much like my daily grind To capture thoughts and hold them there How I wish that I could dare To find the truth while unaware Of your sad and mad conclusion Derived through your insane exclusion Of my fighting back conclusion While I write in my seclusion Seems to you my own delusion We, each and every one of us Have our past that hides behind Our different face that we present Praying that it represents A better us to pass the test To cross the line that we resent The line of coerced, coached consent How many times have you seen A look you know is just plain mean But do we know what lies behind Those lonely unexpressive eyes Why should we even try Or do you find that so unkind Resilient till the very end Knocked down and I spring back again What keeps my fight alive For me my faith deep inside My determination not to let you win To wipe that nasty, glaring grin Off your sad, pathetic face Not with force but with grace Copyright Anthony Galea March 2021
19.01.2022 Sitting in a crowded pod Colleagues all a friendly lot Eyes upon a just stopped clock Waiting talking helping out Voices mingle round about... Trying hard not to shout Breathing deeply with no sound Feet are shaking on the ground Fingers tapping at the mouse Noting cases solving issues People cry into their tissues Thinking if they make a noise Shout aloud and rattle toys Insults bounce off my ears Like a motor changing gears Heard it all for many years End of day on final call Time to slip out of the door Caught up in a war of words Smiling broadly helps to turn Upon myself to help them learn My day is done money earned Now to face the trip back home If I'm lucky all alone Cozy comfort of my phone Like a dog chews a bone Back to kids dinner waits About to step inside the gate The night ahead to settle down Relax and yawn and read my book Time with girls while it cooks Sleep feels like hours away Kids are in the mood to play Getting older by the day Want to sleep the night away Better end it here and now Goodbye for and snore out loud
18.01.2022 A Different World It's a different world right now New rules are written by the day Freedom is a lonely dream... Nothing is what it seems There are times I think I'm right Times when I know I'm wrong Times when I want to fight Times when I don't belong Time doesn't seem so real When the world is upside down Time folds inside itself It hides away inside its shell Until it grows and shines its light Revealing all our truths and lies To keep us wide awake at night Sometimes it nearly sends me blind Sometimes it stays until it finds What it believes is its own kind Love is what I know is real It has so many twists and turns It takes a lifetime sometimes more To learn there's not a way to score Or try to live under law It's only now I'm learning how Love doesn't run by any rules It seeks and finds its own path It holds and binds willing hearts It does not hold an ounce of hate It does not care to hold a grudge It purely is what it is It's own undying living source That can defeat any war And tear down all the built up walls That we believe keep us safe But only serve to create Another blockage in its way Love will always win its day Copyright Anthony Galea April 2020
18.01.2022 The Price I Pay It seems this is the only way I get to plead my own case By writing down in a rhyme... The steeple I do daily climb It hurts that I just cannot say What you and all the others do That I have no other way Except to get it on a page Where I can lay out all my blame Where I can try to shed my shame Where I can even start the train That blows its steam ahead of me Through all the lonely, hollow past Where everything hides my dark Thoughts of all my history Where I'm forced into believe It's all my fault, I do not get The chance to breathe To take in what I should receive Instead the guilt will not relent There is no way to repent To bend my head And take in what you have said There's a life and family That waits and calls me to its door Where there is no raging war Of blame and guilt and misery There's only past and history To bury in its rightful place Behind its solid, iron gate I took a long walk today I just stood up and walked away It's something that is common place It wasn't just a year ago That time flew like blinding snow The wind from trucks and cars and things Blew my feet in front of me Left to right and right to left I felt the constant heaviness I heaved and blew my winded breath And my feet and weary legs Pay the price upon my bed Who knows what tomorrow brings I guess there's lots of weariness No one to blame but myself Again, of course that's common place Thoughts of reams of paperwork Lay across my heavy brow It's hard enough to live a day While I trudge without a pay While I haven't got a say And if I do they look at me Like I have a head or three I guess I better stop it there It's half past twelve and time for bed I'll be asleep by counting ten Copyright Anthony Galea February 2020
17.01.2022 Sitting Im just sitting here wondering, pondering Staring at my white blank page Like the dripping tap annoys... Or the rusty gates squeaky noise Or the cats lonely purr Or a shoe filled with burrs The resounding gongs of fear The relentless sounding chimes They are all just marks in time A sound fleets by astounding me I hear the chatter inside the trees Theyre all discovering territories Places that theyve never been Excited in their ecstasy Left alone with friends and foes Left to count remaining woes Pondering why the door has closed Sifting through my thoughtless maze Seeing nothing through the haze Except the wonderment of pain The beauty of the summer rain The sadness of the loss of gain Serenity rides on its train Pride burns proudly in its flames Watching stars shining bright Rejoicing in their lack of light Knowing how they do stand out Among the non-inclusive crowd Knowing that the light they shine Is earned by their insistent fight To display the love of Him Who spoke them into their own space Including us, the Human Race The light, His Son, He made the Gate The Gate is not a place to wait Its purpose is to open up The door that we do not deserve None the less it is reserved For those who humbly bend their knee Accepting grace so undeserved And mercy spilled with no reserve No need to sit and wait our turn The price is paid for us to learn The love of Him is lived in us Believing that its us He trusts To spread His Word among our crowd To stand together on His ground To share His love in His Surround Copyright Anthony Galea March 2020
16.01.2022 How to love my life and me How to help myself believe How to claim what is mine How not to ask a million times How not to have to make up rhymes... How not to feel the endless climb How to know I do deserve How to accept myself as me How to like the me I see How to feel the love received Without the torturing disbelief Is there an answer tell me please I'm sick of this ongoing need How I wish I'd just grow up How I wish for real belief How I wish this never happened How I wish for true inclusion How I wish the fear to stop How do I get past this block This constant loudly chiming clock I love my kids I love my wife I try and and make a better life I know the battles they go through I feel their pain when they fall I felt the love when they were born Like a threaded shirt is torn Yes I'm human after all
16.01.2022 Stop the train it's way too fast Start the planting on the farm How I need to just slow down Relax chill with friends around Maybe take a trip to town... Listen to my favorite sounds Life is like a roaring lion Like a fleeting finch it turns Like a building caught on fire Like a field of fellowed earth Times when feelings burn and rage Like I'm caught inside a cage Times when feelings overwhelm Feel like hiding underground I tell myself it's not that hard Others lives compared to mine Like the labours have been cast Upon the caring loving hearts Those who pull the heavy cart Without complaint or sour words Each and every day that turns Are reward for lessons learned Fruits of love joy peace and grace Are to look upon the face Whose content is set in place Not on an endless lonely race But in it's truly humble state
14.01.2022 Boring I know this show is getting boring Mind switched off and thoughts start crawling I tell myself the same old story... I’m dumb enough to think it’s gory Even worse my head starts storing Useless,uneventful facts Rhyming words to fill the gaps Even though I know it’s crap They flow through me like blood or sap Like Poe’s Raven, tap,tap,tap I can’t shut down to take a nap Though I’m lying on my back Like a medieval rack Or a tram run off its track Painting images black,black,black Time I just explode and crack I would only if I could But there’s too much on my plate Too much rapping at my gate I guess that’s why I’m running late Though how would I ever know When I cannot begin to slow The vastly, speeding, knowing growth Of cancerous mould upon my tomes Or shut off those crying, screeching tones I say goodbye, it’s time to go Copyright Anthony P Galea April 2021
13.01.2022 The Beggar On my wandering through my day I came across a beggar there I caught a glimpse of his face... Just enough to feel my shame Enough to take on all his pain Enough to feel his worthlessness Enough to understand his grief Enough to soak in his belief That there'll never be relief Every ache and pain he feels Floods me to the point of tears Tears for all that he has lost I see he's never had a way To express the price he's paid For his regret and disbelief The blockage there inside his heart His scattered thoughts make no sense I feel his pain of total loss His feelings that the world forgot Or that they just do not care So he sits alone and stares Wondering if there's other ways To get through all his endless days Copyright Anthony Galea February 2020
12.01.2022 Thanks is something hard to say For some they do not feel the need For some the joy just overwhelms For some we wait to settle down For some they just can't get it out ... For some they feel it's not enough For some the path was just too tough There are times for everyone When help is just a gentle word It may be in a knowing smile A calming voice inside the storm A hand held out to stop the fall Just your presence by their side The knowledge that a friend abides Through the calm and rising tides When you're friends you're friends for life Thanks for this and this alone Sometimes there's a need to show There's many ways to express Ways to show our gratefulness Sometimes words don't say it all Sometimes words are just a wall Sometimes words drop and fall Words do not encompass all Sometimes words are just a ball That bounce forever off a door Social games so hard to play I try to find another way Even friends find me hard Why can't I just play the part Because I just don't know the script If I do when it diverts Pain sets in and really hurts I'm sure for you it's just the same Answers are not ever plain Find a way that works for you I haven't yet I'm fifty two I guess that way for me is this With paper and a pot of ink For you it's probably not that bad Then again it probably is Do you feel the same as me Wishing others could just see To just accept diversity A two way street for this to work We really need to not forget To express our gratitude Nothing beats a true Thank You
12.01.2022 We each and every one of us See the world through others eyes We think we know what's in our minds But it's so easy to disguise We seek the answers from the wise... But how we fail every time I guess I find them in my rhyme Whilst digging round for my next line You may find them when you dine Or maybe with a glass of wine Questions come and questions go Answers not so easily so Line the questions in a row Then sit and wait until they grow Do we really seek what's true Or maybe just what's best for you Sometimes answers we receive We don't believe so we plead Sometimes the answers sits up straight Sometimes they knock there at our gate Impatience tells us not to wait So instead we contemplate All the wrongs and all the rights Twirl them over in the night Until we wake in numbing fright Rescue comes with bright daylight Trust your feelings they are real Yes you are allowed to feel Confused blustered many doubts Minds may take some sorting out Trust your friends the ones you love Beauty in their caring touch Yes it can be just too much To reach out for a loving hug Copyright Anthony Galea May 2019
12.01.2022 What You Do I'm asking you a question now What is it that you do and how? We're all inside behind our doors... There must something you can do To kill the bordem and get through If you're like me and have your kids Are they OK with all this? They're finding things to do with time? Ways and means to fill their minds They understand the reasons why? Are they good at selflessness? Have you asked them what they miss? What is your mental state right now? You feeling like you wonder how? You'll all get through the endless days It's really made me contemplate My need to be with family My girls and wife are all to me I can't believe how good they've been Of course there's been the odd blow up When space is lost it's really tough But nothing makes you feel more free Than being with your family Even with these changing rules And the keeping kids amused It's so much better with my friends Than being home all alone Finding solace in your phone Hoping all this mess will pass Someday very, very soon If this is you I feel for you But remember PLEASE I plead Your friends are there to help with needs Your friends are more than memories A friend who's there for you right now Is a priceless friend indeed
11.01.2022 Sorting through just what I do Try to make my thoughts obey Applying what I know is true Try to mould my mind like clay What is real and what's perceived... What is dirt and what is clean Just what is it others see My scattered brain my vacant look You try to read me like a book You get me wrong and so do I Why is it that I even try Feeling like I'm flying blind Into the truly deep unknown In this state I'll never grow Battling this all on my own No support all alone I know this isn't really true I know my mind is misconstrued I just don't know what I can do I tap away on my phone I never hear a ringing tone Just the noise and blinding light Why are people so unkind Is it just me who thinks this way Who has to readjust each day Who has to pause and not press play Who'd rather walk through pouring rain Than being trained for social games Turn off tune out and get away Before my senses start to fray Before my thoughts command my life Before what's wrong is seen as right Before I see the day as night It really can not be this hard To sort my thoughts into their paths Right now it seems like juggling dice Praying numbers come out right When they don't I wonder why Do I have another try Close my eyes and throw them blind I guess I'll never know for sure And no one ever keeps the score It's not like there is any law
10.01.2022 Another time to reflect Days and weeks pass me by Today's a day for no regrets For all those times I didn't try Easy now for me to say... Others find it hard to pray Friends and strangers fleeting by Without a look into one's eyes Heads down thoughts intense Takes a hand to kindly wrench Screens of glaring glass that flare Through the eyes that wouldn't dare Into a heart that truly cares To wish for love and still be fair Friends who help climb the stairs Are friends you'll find are very rare Free to think of my own thoughts Free to practice lessons taught Free to get it right or wrong Free to see where I belong It takes a lot of courage to See an issue followed through But in the end if it's truth Be proud you found a way for you
08.01.2022 This one writes itself with pain With not a clue of what to gain Received a word today that hurts Trying now to take it in Trying now to find the words... Head is full of lots of verbs Some are not so very nice Though they may seem very right Need to crawl away and hide Until some reasoning settles in Until my thoughts obey the rules Set out as a functioning clause Feel like now I'm gathering dust Dust that feels a lot like rust Falls to ground and leaves a mark Deep within my aching heart Again my friends remain steadfast I feel your presence intense and vast I know you'll be there till the last Teardrops dry upon my face Until again I find my place Among this crazy human race I'm so glad I have this gift That helps me clear my mind and think Without inducing any pain That helps my mind untie unwind To let it out and help me find A way through darkness into light While trying not to seem unkind A steady hand holding tight Like I'm being led while blind Until I find the other side
08.01.2022 It's so hard to get it right To have the strength to stand and fight To know there is a far off light To not know where to vent my gripes To just hang on and hold on tight... To not just run in needless flight To believe that people care To not ask why I even dare To stare back at the the blinding glare To not just think it's just not fair To believe that people love This messed up lonely, sightlines grub To believe I have a role To understand I lost control To believe there is a reason Every feeling has its season I guess they even have a meaning This involves some careful gleaning Sorting through my muddled thoughts What is real and what is not What is finding its way through What seems like a giant rock Like water seeking its own path The easy way to wipe the past No such path exists within Our lives are not just fun and joy There's tears and experience There's times when we feel really blessed There's times when all we want is rest There's times when others needs insist There's times when crazy thoughts invade But even these have roles to play I guess that's life is just that way I'm here to fight another day
08.01.2022 In many ways we see the world Different ways and subtle turns Do we want the world to see That there isn't any need To treat us any differently ... I have to learn to drop my mask To find my way out of the dark Yes there's those that start to ask Those that seek to find my path Those that really just don't care My friends have always just been there You know me and I know you I guess we all know it's true There's always been a difference there I finally took a step and dared Only then I found out where The fit is round and I am square Life moves on and passes by The days mingle with the tide Forever waiting for the night To close my eyes duck and hide Now I know I need my space Makes more sense to stop the chase To settle down and slow the race To find my quiet restful place Copyright Anthony Galea May 2019
08.01.2022 I can do this I can't do that I know exactly what I can I know exactly what I can't What I know is what I know What I don't is what I won't... All my life there's been a line Never crossed and never tried While it's true I know my mind There's no excuse here not to try I'm learning now there are ways I'm learning now I need to trust My commitment to my path And not my non existent wrath Doubt plagues me like a cloak Like a lump caught in my throat Anxiety also plays its part Wondering what will happen next Made up strife there to perplex Learning daily to stand strong Learning now to face my wrong Learning where I do belong I've learned the hard way how to deal With those thoughts that are not real To understand that what I feel Does not rule my mind and soul To trust my friends and stand in faith Sometimes that's really all it takes No need to find a magic word A potion that will cure it all To just believe and do not crawl Behind my comfy lonely wall To know there's help when I fall To push on through until the end So when it's all been done and said I can say I did my best And I can lay my head to rest Without the guilt upon my bed Yes I've passed the final test
08.01.2022 I have a heavy heart today Of course I know why this is so I feel my thoughts turn and flip I feel emotional overload I try to use the tools at hand... The drawer is starting to get low My friends I feel your presence here I feel it like I'm changing gears Without you here by my side And this gibberish that I write I would have to try and find A way to stop this endless ride Right now I ride on rocky road And the ride is really slow Not knowing when to stop or go Not knowing any other way The movie plays away all day On an endless grinding reel Just like rubbing steel on steel How does it feel to just fit in Not to have to bear and grin Every little subtle smirk A new one now I have to learn How do I know you tell the truth By your face not a clue To look too long is really rude I need to look until I'm blue Why can't you just tell the truth I'm not so fragile I will break I just don't want to make mistakes It really helps to say it straight So I can get it not too late So we can both clearly state May even help us to relate So that when we leave this place We can depart without disgrace
07.01.2022 Two lives stand on the same hill Two lives see two different views One life feels the majesty One life feels complexity One life seeks to take it in... One life wants to flee from it One life jumps in falling freely One life runs away while screaming One life has enlightening visions One life feels like they've been driven What we learn from this is hard Some see through the false facade Some see fear and tragedy Some see love and destiny Some feel like they want to cry Some feel like they want to fly Emotions bouncing all around Joy and pride a loving hug We're all different so it seems We all see life from our own view It matters not if you're ND Or if you see things in 3D Or If your friends are all NT Life flows from diversity Copyright Anthony Galea May 2019
07.01.2022 I want to say something light I want to sound like I feel bright I want to be a happy friend I want to drop this fake pretense I want to show my smiling face... But all I feel is heavy shame Shame at how I play this game Shame, shame, shame, shame Yes I know I'm not to blame It doesn't help in any way Overwhelmed and so weighed down My eyes don't want to leave the ground When I'm forced to look around To look into a smiling face All I feel is my disgrace Where's the joy to take its place Accepting truth is way beyond When I know I don't belong Amongst the normal worldly throng I feel confused and very wrong I dwell upon my lonely past The past that flew away so fast The past returns to haunt my heart The past for me is very dark I see my future stranded there Upon the wobbling shaking stairs To take a step I hardly dare I wish I were just unaware To see and feel and smell and touch Like a roaring raging flood To stop the noise and heightened sense How I wish it would relent Like a path that strangely bends Not the place to pitch my tent Without a tool to take to task And not a word to even ask My soul feels like its torn apart My children and my awesome wife You're my source of love and light You help me try to get it right You hear my footsteps in the night You see and feel when I'm in fright You care and love my quirky life I love you more than words can say That's why I pray every day The love that flows from you both ways Even on the saddest days I know your love for me remains Copyright Anthony Galea November 2019
06.01.2022 I'm allowed to talk to me I'm allowed to answer you You're just a voice inside my head Therefore I can kill you dead Turn off your argumentive noise... I'll cut that wire feeding you What turns you off is my plain truth You know my past and hidden life Of course you do, you are my mind You know what winds me up inside What causes me to run and hide Now I stand to say it's time Your time is up, it's time to die I'm learning more by the hour I've learnt that you can be so sour I'm learning how you do devour Your cunning and deceitful lies Introduced to blind my eyes I'm fighting back with what is right At times of deep and dark despair You need to know I am aware Of your presence standing there Searching for a brand new way To mess with my untidy brain I'm here to fight another day Copyright Anthony Galea April 2021
04.01.2022 Do you you feel the need for space To step outside the human race To stop and think and contemplate To land your foot upon the brake To close the door inside the gate... Not to have to be kept safe Or fret about your interest rates Or worry madly when you're late Or have to line up in a row Every thought and captured foe The need to be completely free A very pressing need indeed The day today was very long Every sound a banging gong If I could sit where I belong I wouldn't feel so very wrong If I could play my favorite song To the tune I choose for me The tune that draws me close to thee Then I would find a real release At least until the count of three I'll be glad when it's all done To close the door and finally run Out into the glorious sun Where I just don't have to play That awful friendless social game Where the mask is thrown away Right into the other day I wish there was another way But for now the mask will stay Just a few more weeks remain Of painting on my NT face I know not what next year will bring I'm sure it won't be diamond rings Time to be a good boy scout Prepare to deal with bouts of doubt Prepare to face my opposition Those who hold the high positions No there is no jealousy They've earned their spot in their high tree I'm just a pleb that works for them I know my place amongst my plebs For now I really just don't care You've done your best to pull the rug You've no idea the chaos caused With your money saving clause The fact we've served our time for you Means nothing to the wealthy crew You won the game and saved your cash I know you win we've done our dash You'll pay your price and not know where You'll find another pleb who cares Copyright Anthony Galea October 2019
04.01.2022 The Runner I'm a runner not a fighter I'm a crawler not a climber When there is no other way... To express the words to say The panic rises like a tide Tearing up my insides So I run away and try To pretend that if I hide All the world will be so pleased For the non existent me I'm slowly learning it takes time To stand and learn the art to fight The unruly, lying tribe Of pathetic untrue lies They line up neatly in their rows Waiting for their chance to throw The past the future and the now All towards my unclear fog To stir up filthy clinging smog To cloud my thoughts into a mess Of their deceitful wickednes All intended to add stress To my lowly worthlessness Some days their mission has achieved Their goal to bring me to my knees So they can do just what they please To make me scared of my own sneeze They linger there and beg and plead With my past and future needs Knowing I will just give in Relent and tell them that they win And when they turn away and grin I lose my power from within And surrender all to them Some days I say that that's enough No longer will I just lie down I know more so than you or them I have a saviour and a friend Closer than my living kin Who died and rose again for me So He can fight this raging war Without your need to feel you've scored Time for you to bend your knee To the King, His Majesty Without whom you would never be Alive to fight your enemy Copyright Anthony Galea March 2020
03.01.2022 If I could just spend some time Instead of making up a rhyme Consoling those that don't belong Among the crazy mindless throng Of this thoughtless, senseless world... In showing them that someone cares That someone really understands Their unwarranted sense of blame I feel like I need to take All your grief upon myself So that you can understand You are not the one to blame Time and time and time again I play the prelude in my head I try to sort it from the dross From the times that I forgot There are others who do get The thoughts that just will not relent Its playing loudly on mind The eternal blinding chimes Of false and weary accusations Sounds that creep invading tones Like its screaming down my phone I need to drop and let it go But I hesitate to say Just stop, its not me, Im not to blame Tell me what you want to gain While I absorb your drenching rain Why is it I just cant I get through The way my mind works to you Even when I write it down You tell me that you just dont get What I try so hard to vent Why is it that I find it hard To truly open up my heart To the ones that really care I really wonder the result Will you take a hike and bolt I understand that this is wrong Youve proved to me too many times Your devotion and your love Surround me like a well fit glove You havent left me any room For disbelief in your own strength For disassociation with Your concern and wonderment Your all consuming stubbornness Or your passion to get across The message I just seem to block What would I do without my rock When my thoughts will not stop I need for them to take a break To stop with their intrusiveness To slow my mind so I can see The glowing forest through the trees So my thoughts can settle down So I can take in what's around So I can feel like I have found Like my feet are on the ground The joy that hides behind my tears Occasionally, once in years Arises from its hiding place It's then that I can breathe it in The truth of friends who really care The love of my family Like I belong inside their tree Like when I'm with you I am free From my blinding disbelief And my selfish binding grief At the past that has been A heavy chain around my neck That refuses to relent It's invasion of it's lies That rise inside me like a tide That captures me along its ride Along its path to make me blind And deaf to what is really true That I am really part of you Copyright Anthony Galea February 2020
03.01.2022 Trying There's a burning flame inside me In this flame there's searing pain Pain that cries for pouring rain... There's no reasoning nor naught gain Just this endless burning flame Trying this and trying that If there's something that will stop This intensive, stubborn block Then please explain your thoughts to me You'll never meet someone so keen To hear your thoughts on what you've tried To please the ones you wish would cry And what you've done to be denied Because of your obsessive life And your aching will to try To try and understand my mind I finally found something that works To explain this burning hurt It turns out it's always been An integral part of me To jot my thoughts in mindless verse Is what I do to reverse This burning, searing pain I feel Seeking thoughts I know are real And not just garbage unrevealed I've been told that I don't care For anything that does not fit My obsessive, trying mind That nothing makes a difference to My need to quench this burning flame It seems it's there to remain Or until it finally claims My scattered, crazy, burning brain Like a nest of crawling ants That finds the creases in my pants And starts their climb from feet to hands While coursing through every inch Of my blinding privacy This trying mind freezes me I feel there is no case to plead Just this driving need to please Copyright Anthony Galea May 2021
03.01.2022 Wandering Through I wander through this life alone I live among a family though Some days I do not even know... The order of my day for now It changes daily though its planned The structure and security Is scrambled to eternity Dealing, faking, making you Believe Im good and right to go While my mind is throwing stones Into the depths of hollowness Where they land is no-ones guess Writing lines as they appear Letting go internal fears The pen it glides along the page Results when done are what they are Are they good or are they bad It matters not, its been released My pen released my raging beast If there were another way Another way to shake it off The clouded, foggy, drenching dross My head knows not, its at a loss I thank my God every day You gave me this as my way Of getting through my darkest days Some say that you just dont exist Its their choice and I have mine All I know is You are there Youve got me through some rotten times You give me joy I dont deserve You give me life I never earned I love my wife and girls indeed I love you so immensely Like the God I just spoke off You are my strength and reason to Stand and fight this till Im through I know you love me why you do When Ive made your life so blue Goes to show your love is true Something I can never doubt Especially in my lowest times Youve been there through thick and thin Youve washed the scales from my eyes See more
02.01.2022 I'm still trying to take it in A newness in me sprouts like spring I'm the same I was before The same issues fight their wars Still feel thoughts crawling walls... Truly grateful for support Clarity validation the fog destroyed The same goals there were before The same battles keeping score The same emotions being torn But now I feel I've just been born Like the past was what's before Like I finally closed that door What's ahead and what is new To stay on track remaining true To family first the precious few All the woes I put you through Stopping here just won't be right Like waking up in the night To those who finally found the light To you who chose to share my life You who stayed and held on tight To my family and my tribe I truly say I hold you high
02.01.2022 Alone What will I do when I'm alone Or when I land in the same boat I'm loving all this grand support But what will happen when I fall...Continue reading
02.01.2022 Hi my friends. Hope it's going as well as can be expected at least. I just finished writing this. Thought I would share it to you all. Something new to read I guess. Sorry it's not a novel. But it's close at least. Love yas' all Ode to Covid... Here's to a time we've never seen before A time of being happy, alone and indoors A time to feel for someone, you never did before A time for something else, on the news but war Nothing on the telly, but why I should stay home Trying to forget there used to be a time When I didn't have to shop, waiting in a line A time when the buses used to all run late A time when trains were all impossible to negate Amazing how your life changes day by day Lying on my bed taking in my waves Trying not to think of how I will be paid When a thought explodes inside my mind Why oh why does it take all this to be kind While I sit and write this crazy stuff It's hard to believe living is so rough Everyone knows we've all had enough We all wonder when Corona will end When we can all sleep soundly In our own beds again When we all look back in a year or so When the cloudy, foggy past is blown By the daily running of life How many will forget the strife And find it hard to find belief While surrounded by their grief For their not so fortunate friends After shaking our collective heads At their pathetic selfishness Of finding ways to disregard Every rule along their path And passing on their deadly filth Without a thought or any guilt The world will be a cleaner place With its break from our untidy human race It will be much smaller too With multitudes of people killed From some mysterious super flu We can all just pray for you That somehow managed to get through Pray there will be lessons learnt Pray you understand, what it takes to earn A long and fruitful life fulfilled And while it's a possibility The truth is that there are so few I pray that some of those that do Are people just like me and you Copyright Anthony Galea April 2020
02.01.2022 Another Saturday morning session Out of bed and girls are messing Awake before the sparrows fart Before the dawn peace in dark Before the chaos scrambling starts... Sitting at my girl's swim lesson Watching while I count my blessings Trying vainly to unwind Making up my silly rhyme Taking in that famous line The best of times the worst of times Times they change from day to day Before there was an easy way Now everything seems so hard Like bumping heads in the dark A lot is turning round in here Hard to sort the mud from clay When it seems I have it right When it seems it's sealed tight The doubt sets in and so does fright Learning to believe myself Belief enough to stop the doubt To stand upon my own two feet Alone without the disbelief Without the the clinging to a friend Without support or ear to bend Maybe then I'll reach out to the end
01.01.2022 Sometimes it's hard to find the words To seek the flow and ride the curves To tune into the singing birds To kill the glaring flaming blur Only then the image floats... Could be a tree or just a coat Sailing on a floating boat Or waiting for the closing moat To read again what I just wrote Why I write what I do Really haven't got a clue A line appears before my eyes Then I have to make it rhyme Doesn't happen every time Just my way to unwind To find your own way around Unwinding thoughts and battlegrounds Is each and everyone's true goal A way to get your story told Feeling like you just struck gold Like watching Game of Thrones unfold
01.01.2022 I want to cry and never stop I want my mind to stop its rot I want my thoughts to behave I want to stop this roaring rage To pen and ink this on a page... I find this is my only way To know the lines that I can cross To know the ones I just can not Some days they really are a blur Sometimes I know not where to turn Some days my heart burns to learn To fill my head with useless facts To empty those on nice clean mats To sort them into dead straight rows I know not why this matters so Somehow I know it helps me grow I must admit how strange it seems To me I know not what it means I only know what works for me I find it hard to believe There's not others just like me Those that best portray in words With lines and lines of endless verse Who use these words to reverse I ask you please to find your fit To find the slot where you fit in Life is hard outside the rim It's hard to fight the pain within Without the tools to make it so How are you supposed to grow Like digging concrete with a spoon The only end is that you lose
01.01.2022 Hi everyone. This is my happiest post I've done in a while. I can now officially say that I am diagnosed Autistic. There's no doubt at all. I'm nervous to the point of shaking hands short of breath and on the verge of breaking down into a blubbering mess.... I wrote this to post when it became official and now it I want to share. So here it is. Relief like a ton of bricks Lifted from a leaning bridge Watch them fall with rising glee Years of mystery run and flee When in print confirmation Nothing left but celebration Have to start by saying thanks To those who've been a solid base Could not be done without your grace You stood beside me at my pace Like a snail in a race You haven't even seen my face I feel like Paul with scales removed Like there's nothing left to prove Like the air is ocean clear I can face all my fears I can stand up to my peers I asked myself so many times Why I want to start this ride Is it really worth the climb Never knowing just how high With my guides by my side Just so good to feel alive Now I ask why did I wonder So many hours tugging war Had to push my doubts way under Solid wooden bedroom floor I've just walked right through that door If you wonder if you should What you hear makes you feel Like your life is playing out Like nothing else is really real Put aside your wandering doubt Take the leap and get it done Make the squareness take a run
01.01.2022 Lonely In My World It's lonely here where I sit And dwell on all the love I missed And how my joy was robbed from me... Not to mention self belief By your nasty tyranny Without the slightest ounce of guilt Behind that solid wall you built Made up of all your filthy lies Who knows how long you've denied You've just made out that it's alright To destroy someone's life But I'm not here today because of you I'm here because I battled through Because I stood up and refused To let you just you walk over me Because I fought my destiny Because I knew just how wrong I knew that you just don't belong In a just society But with the murderers and the thieves Inside your cell with all your friends With twisted minds and jealousy With delusions of ecstasy While dying in their misery Lost in their deluded world From where there is just no escape Because for you it's just too late So go and rot behind your gate Go and burn with all your mates My life now while a battlefield Is full of love I don't deserve I have two gorgeous, cheeky girls Both full of unconditional love for me And a wife as tough as you Infact she'd make a soup or stew Of all the guilt and shame I've brewed And feed it to you with your spoon I really do not feel regret Or hatred of the deeds you did I'm happy now and that's my prize My kids and my adoring wife Unlike you I have a life Copyright Anthony Galea March 2020
