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Trauma, Healing & Me

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25.01.2022 This is a book from Bessel Van Der Kolk I've needed to read my whole life Time starts now! Reposted from @orgasmic.abundance I just finished reading 'The Body Keeps the Score' by Bessel van der Kolk and my view of my own trauma history and impending (!!) recovery has been completely transformed. MAJOR CONTENT WARNING for childhood trauma, sexual assault, domestic violence, incest, war violence, natural disasters. I needed to walk away from the content of the book many tim...es but all in all I feel transformed and have a deeper understanding of what it is that I really need to move on with my life. I really appreciate that the author is able to write from a very scientific perspective while also being honest with us about his wonder and deep respect for alternative therapeutic models that haven’t been studied by the standards of modern medicine. Trauma work feels essential for me at this moment in my life because I feel like my near constant state of trauma induced stress is becoming a huge obstacle in my development spiritually. Over the last six years, I have been COMPLETELY changed by my tradition and our practices, but one of the beautiful things about the path is that the obstacles are always changing. I’m currently sitting at a plateau, and I feel that if I’m able to re-wire my brain towards a state of stasis, I’ll be able to move forward in a new way. Trauma-brain isn’t really written or spoken about much in spiritual communities. If my brain is wired to always be on alert for danger, that is a major obstacle for deepening meditation as compared to someone who has been conditioned in a more secure environment. I can sense that I will be integrating the things I learned from this book for a long time, and it has inspired me to think much more deeply about trauma-informed spirituality. My posts will likely reflect that! See more

19.01.2022 #truthtelling So good to see more high profile Australians opening up about their mental health struggles ABC TV + iview at 8pm

18.01.2022 A great insight into the complexity of traumatic memories. Though my abuser doesn’t question my memory of events, she does continually suggest that my traumatic memories are lies or false memories. I’m yet to meet a trauma or abuse survivor who has benefited from their trauma, but it’s a powerful tool used by perpetrators to abrogate them of their role in the trauma they have caused.... Thanks for the share Blue Knot Foundation.

17.01.2022 Are you like me when it comes to the lingering impacts of childhood abuse & trauma It often feels, particularly in the morning hours, like I need to push the anxiety & restlessness out of the way to start my day in a positive way. If I don’t it can be a slippery slope towards some pretty powerful negative mental health outcomes. ... My go to is jumping in the water, especially cold water There are lots of ‘hacks’ available, thankfully many of them provided by nature free of charge

16.01.2022 #truthtelling A powerful reinforcement of why we should support people in telling their stories of abuse. The tragedy is some survive & many do not.... Thank you Alexandra & Virginia "None of the shame is hers, and none of the shame is mine. So in sharing this ... it really raises her up to tell her story because she was still able to achieve so much and grow into a lovely person despite everything she endured."

14.01.2022 #healing I'm slowly learning to love my traumatised brain. Now when I say love, I don't actually love the fact my brain experienced so much foundational childhood trauma, it makes me sad, but I'm increasingly aware how vital it is to give this vulnerable brain of mine some love, gift it it's best chance for transformation during the healing journey. ... I recently listened to an interview with the Gut Health MD, renowned Gastroenterologist & microbiome advocate, Dr Will Bulsiewicz or Dr B as he's known. In the interview he says some of the hardest people he's had to treat, in terms of healing the gut, is those who've experienced childhood trauma. That's no surprise to me. I experienced terrible gut issues throughout my childhood & to this day when I find myself in a heightened state of anxiety my stomach goes ballistic. Your brain’s best friend is your gut. You can’t separate the two. If you have an unhealthy gut, it’s going to affect your brain. Dr B, The Gut Health MD Children who are exposed to abuse and trauma may develop what is called 'a heightened stress response'. This can lower immune function and increase the risk of a number of physical illnesses throughout adulthood - International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies. You might be surprised to learn, the gut is home to 70% of our immune system. Check out this Harvard University Research Article on the physical impacts of trauma https://www.health.harvard.edu//past-trauma-may-haunt-your Yes, I recognise this heightened gut response to stress & anxiety is not uncommon, but the frequency & longevity of that negative gut response I've no doubt has had some serious impacts on my physical and mental health. Which brings me to therapy, the mind stuff. Trauma therapy is a long process. Good things happen, progress is made, things shift, then you encounter a trigger & boom you're wondering where all that hard work went? What I've learnt, particularly recently, is the best thing you can do on this roller-coaster ride of healing is put up some supporting scaffolding. If the brain is on overdrive, feels like the mental health stuff is all too much hard work, change lanes & look after the other aspects of your 'being' & keep that going through the ups & downs. Love your gut - your brain will thank you for it. #gut #mentalhealth #inflammation #autoimmunedisease #functionalmedicine #healing #selfcare #healthandwellness #immunesystem #guthealthy #mentalhealthadvocate #ptsdsurvivor #love #emotionalhealing #complexptsd #complextrauma #mentalhealthrecovery #healingfromtrauma #survivor #familyabuse

12.01.2022 #healing #healingjourney #possibilities #reframeyourfuture This is ME after an hour at the gym & standing in front of one of my favourite paintings in my Newcastle flat Since 2017 I've been through the biggest & toughest challenges of my life, outside of the one's I faced when I was growing up.... Having an emotional/nervous breakdown at the end of 2017 threw me into a cascading set of emotions I genuinely believed would prove unmanageable for this proud Leo the Lion I retreated & as best I could I kept going despite all the horrors of depression, anxiety, PTSD & most challengingly OCD, which just doesn't give me a break from my thoughts. With the support of the most amazing group of people who love me (you know who you all are), the love of my son & some incredible psychologists I took small steps forward & ultimately received a life changing opportunity in securing work in human services. A chance to give back. Then in December 2019 it all came crashing down after my beautiful birth Mum received a devastating diagnosis. I thought I was emotionally capable of dealing with this heart-breaking situation but it sent me into a spiral of grief & kicked my OCD into overdrive. I was at my beloved Sister's place & feeling my anxiety escalating I got on a spin bike & just started riding. I vowed to myself that no matter what was happening in my mind I would dedicate myself to looking after my body. Even when it feels every one of it's 52 years. When I stepped on that bike I was 100kgs. Way too heavy for me & I was not doing all the things I could to support what I know is a strong, resilient, yet fragile brain. I am now 85kgs. This will be the last weight-cut I do in my life. It's important for me to write, I'm not fixed, I'm not healed. We need to stop putting pressure on people to achieve that & reframe the word - particularly for Trauma Survivors. I'm on a healing journey not to necessarily get to a place of 'happiness', but instead to be in a position to embrace all the beauty around me, to give & receive love with purpose, to guide my son though life the best I can & be the best human I can be. Everyday is a struggle, my brain is often not my friend, but everyday is still beautiful all the same

12.01.2022 #healing #possibilities #musictherapy #musicislife #lustforlife Music has played a HUGE part in my life From being a passionate listener, nightclubber, live music obsessive, a working musician to running music festivals; music has been both great love & lifesaver - literally. ... When I was around 15 my life really started to spiral out of control in a variety of ways. The impacts of childhood trauma & being a teenager collided so dramatically I thought there was only one way out. If I didn't first have an outlet in the listening & then countless nightclubs & live gigs all over Sydney I might gone down the tragic road. Music has a profound impact not only on treating trauma but also on the health of your brain - it's also great to dance to. Check these articles out http://bit.ly/MusicTherapyAndTrauma http://bit.ly/MusicAndBrainHealth I have a few signature tracks I listen to when I'm working out or when I need to remind myself that life is worth being lusty about. This is one of my faves - Iggy Pop's Lust For Life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lJqBsrShys

10.01.2022 #healing #nutrition Have a beautiful night everyone Feed your brain healthy food, it’s been through a lot

09.01.2022 #possibilities #healing The therapeutic use of micros-dosing psilocybin for managing PTSD, chronic anxiety and depression is gaining traction. Though the context of this article is around cancer, there is a push globally to see this become available for those who have experienced trauma.... A fundamental dynamic in this healing potential of psilocybin is that it allows us to relax the grip of our negative and pain-producing belief systems, to relax and let go of that grip on our sense of who we are and what’s really important and what living is all about, Dr. Tobin said. With this relaxation of old habits of thinking, new perspectives and attitudes and assumptions are possible, leading to new possibilities for being in the world. Well worth a read!

08.01.2022 #truthtelling #healing #microdosing So the other week I went camping I love getting into nature, taking a cold water swim in a crystal clean river, lighting a fire & just immersing myself in the beauty of the bush. ... Not so much this time. I struggled being alone, I struggled with my thoughts, I battled with my mental health & when I returned home I was devastated. Devastated because it felt like such a huge loss not being able to BE in those much treasured moments. Though I'm doing a heap of great work on this healing journey it was jolting to have something that I love so passionately be such a challenging experience. The childhood abuse & trauma I survived in my 'relationship' with my adopted mother planted a seed in my brain. That seed grew into a tree, but the roots & branches were not ones that grew in the direction of love, reassurance, connection or compassion - they grew most often in opposite ways. It's been a lifelong struggle to keep negative feelings about myself under some semblance of control. Though time passes & we move forward the best way we can, hopefully being positively influenced by our negative experiences to grow & help others, it's really difficult sometimes to live with them. So post camping I made a decision to see if I can plant a new seed in my brain & this week I'm going to start microdosing psilocybin. I know there are many different perspectives & a Google search throws up a heap of glowing & some less than glowing articles, but for this survivor it's worth trying - responsibly & openly. The medical profession in this country is starting to wake up to it's potential benefits for those who suffer with a myriad of mental health issues, who don't want to go the 'clinical' route & I will record my journey as openly as I can in the coming weeks & months. Wish me luck.

08.01.2022 #healing This really resonated today Though one is never really 'free' of the trauma of childhood abuse & it's impacts, we can most definitely be 'done' with them & take on new ways of being. ... Particularly in our friendship and romantic relationships.

08.01.2022 Can't wait to read this book from Archie Roach Love the quote too... "You can't pick and choose what piece of history you want to present to the world" - Archie Roach.

06.01.2022 - & . Chatting with Joe Williams, storyteller and founder of The Enemy Within - Suicide Prevention Trauma Recovery & Wellbeing Education as well as recipient of the 2019 Australian Mental Health Prize (see video below) is a truly open and humbling experience. Presentation: http://bit.ly/JoeWilliams2019MentalHealthPrize...Continue reading

04.01.2022 Humans can be beautiful, loving, caring & supportive - remember that Thanks for this week Humans of New York

03.01.2022 #truthtelling #letusspeak To say these Victorian laws are a disgrace is an understatement Most abuse survivors (if not all) would have experienced the coercive control that is the denial of opportunity to speak openly about the abuse you’ve experienced.... In a family setting this is often the ‘shut out’. To imagine a Victorian victim of sexual abuse/assault is unable to tell their story openly or advocate for survivors to protect perpetrators is mind boggling. This law needs to change.

03.01.2022 #healing #possibilities How you going? I don’t know about you, but for me that’s often an awkward question to navigate.... Do I take the generic, somewhat throwaway route... Great - pretty good - up & down (fave) - couldn’t be better. OR Tell the truth, a truth that’s often more complex than any of those answers Now this is where things get tricky & maybe a little profound. It’s dawned on me on this trauma healing journey that the most honest & encouraging answer isn’t how I feel, but what I’m doing. So I’ve decided from now on when someone asks me how I am I’ll respond with... Just surrounding myself with as much beauty as I can - Immersing myself in nature at every opportunity - focusing on the positive - being as loving as I can. This might appear glib but it reinforces in oneself that the healing journey is about the steps you’re taking, rather than the emotions you’re feeling. Emotions that are often overwhelming. I made sure to immerse myself in nature today

02.01.2022 #truthtelling #possibilities , , & . .... I had the gift of seeing the Van Gogh Alive Sydney exhibition last week. It had been a bit of a rough day headspace wise & part of me just wanted to hibernate, but not only is Van Gogh my favourite artist of all time, I also knew there was something powerful waiting for me. What was most poignant about the experience was how much they touched on the mental health challenges this amazing human faced. Though he battled immensely in his life, Vincent never waivered from his desire to share the beauty he saw all around him, even in his darkest times. In fact some of his greatest paintings, his greatest insights into the human condition, were during the times he was losing his battle with his inner voices. What I took away from immersing myself in the work of Vincent was no matter how you're feeling, there is beauty everywhere, everyday. Look for it, to be able to absorb this is part of the healing journey, it's vital

01.01.2022 I had the chance to speak with this inspiring human last week & yarn about one of my great passions, bringing healing from a First Nations perspective into the trauma healing discussion. This just makes sense to me & it’s a direction I want to embrace on a personal level & one I think should be embraced collectively. Check out Olivia’s page

01.01.2022 #truthtelling #healing #possibilities #mdmatherapy Did you know there are an estimated 1.4 million Australians suffering from PTSD. The personal & societal cost of this number is massive both socially & financially. ... So why are we dragging the chain in this country on potentially ground-breaking clinical trials such as microdosing MDMA & other psychedelics? There is currently no research into MDMA-assisted psychotherapy for PTSD happening in Australia - we need to step up MDMA reduces activity in the amygdala, the region of the brain that activates our fear response. This can lead to increased feelings of safety, allowing people to have a break from their anxiety, dive deeper into talk therapy & potentially change lives. In the United States is is expected that the FDA will give approval for MDMA assisted psychotherapy as early as 2022. https://adf.org.au/insights/mdma-ptsd/ https://www.healtheuropa.eu/why-mdma-must-be-reclassifie// * This is not an endorsement for the recreational use of any drugs in any capacity. I believe if we can get high on life we should, but I also believe trauma gets in the way of that happening for far too many people * #emotionalabuse #traumatherapy #mentalhealthawareness #selfcare #ptsdrecovery #selflove #narcissisticabuse #healingtrauma #traumasurvivor #depression #complextrauma #childhoodtrauma #healingjourney #therapy #somaticexperiencing #traumabonding #psychedelictherapy