Truly Madly Motherhood | Medical and health

Truly Madly Motherhood

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• Pregnancy care centre

25.01.2022 As a midwife I often find myself saying, what gets the baby in gets the baby out, as I encourage people to tap into their sexuality during the end of pregnanc...y and birth. What happens when we make birth sexual? It becomes intimate, intense, fun, and maybe even enjoyable. It also forces any providers in the room to confront their relationship with consent during birth. Would you ever put your fingers in someone’s vagina during a sex act without checking in on how it makes them feel first? Would you insist you know better than them about what is right for their body? I don’t like talking about orgasmic birth because it sets people up for significant disappointment (I’ve never seen someone spontaneously orgasm during birth), but I do like to talk about birth as a deeply intimate, sexual experience (if that language works well for my patient). If I can treat it that way I end up always prioritizing the comfort and needs of my patient and their partner(s). I ALWAYS employ consent - giving myself the out of saying ‘except in emergency situations’ allows consent to be a luxury rather than a necessity. There is ALWAYS time to explain and ask for permission. #consent #consentinlabor #birth #laboranddelivery #midwifery #labor #orgasmicbirth #birthconsent #obstetricviolence #midwifelife See more

20.01.2022 Who hasn’t been asked this question at some point?! It’s implied that a ‘good baby’ who sleeps, feeds to a routine and doesn’t need to be held much is somet...hing that everyone wants and a sign of being a ‘good parent’ if you can get your baby to behave this way. But it’s utter nonsense. As a society we have lost sight of what new babies are really like. We have a habit of interpreting pretty normal baby behaviour as something being wrong and needing fixing as it doesn't fit our societal norms about how we believe babies should behave. Babies are small vulnerable mammals with instinctive needs. They are programmed to want to stay close to us, their bodies naturally wake them up at night where they need a bit of support to get back to sleep and they have tiny tummies that need filling frequently. I say babies but actually how often do adults eat or drink, wake up at night or want to be around people they love? Loads. More than some babies really. And no one bats an eyelid at that. Keep on meeting your baby’s needs and freaking out strangers with your responses.

15.01.2022 I asked if your little one wakes and/or feeds at night and their age bracket. This was an informal poll and is most definitely not scientific in any way! But d...id have nearly 10 thousand responses so will hopefully reassure you that you're not alone. #nightwaking #nightfeeding #nightfeeds #normalisenightwaking #normalisebreastfeedingtosleep #normalisenightwaking #nightimeparenting

14.01.2022 If you need anything, let me know, they said. But the words wouldn’t come. I choked on them instead. A slow death.... I wanted to say: Can you pop in at bath time twice a week to give me a hand? Maybe you could take them to the park on occasion so I could vacuum without the everlasting spread of crackers and requests challenging my progress. I’d love some company for a babycino once a month. I want to listen to your work stories and ideally, you would not care if I had chocolate powder in my hair. I guess you could call me to see how I was? But not in a way that seems condescending. Ask me like you are willing to listen to the answer. Ask me because you know the answer already. You’re around so much that you know the cues. I know that by Friday I’m pretty tired. Dinner dropped at the door would be fab. I’d love for you to sit in my garden while my children run naked on the lawn. I could grab the washing off and we could talk. Ideally, you wouldn’t think of it as odd if they did a wee on the grass. We could cook for you. You’d be family. And you’d wash the dishes without hesitation, a team rather than a guest. We’d work together effortlessly. You’d know the bedtime routine, you’d tell the story. You would sit on the balcony whilst I feed and love them to sleep. You wouldn’t care how long that took. We have a nice view. You know where the kettle is. I want you to be super excited about their first tooth. I wish you would ask how feeding is going, even though they are nearly three. I would like the conversation to include my two kids. If one starts to talk about the day we had our cat put down, again, I don’t want that to be weird. I want to watch a kids movie with you at two in the afternoon. Would that be too much to ask? But it is. And so I say nothing. Thanks, I’ll definitely let you know, I say. In the same way that we always do. In the same way that means we never will.

03.01.2022 The ask is: stretch, grow, birth, bleed, nurse, lose sleep and make it look like nothing happened at all. But no. No. Let them see it, let them know. Every s...ingle bit of it. This is the beauty of the afterglow. See more