Undercurrents | Brand
Undercurrents
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25.01.2022 As children grow into adolescence, there is often a period of awkwardness, a naïve and hesitative period of growing into a changing body, expanding emotions and a complex social world. It is also a time of exploring new ways of relating. Friendships with peers grow in importance. At this time, emerging adolescents seek belonging, peer tribe connection and experimenting with maturing friendships. Paradoxically, it’s also the time they are most awkward, sheepish and otherwise... diffident. If, for some reason, this shyness, this youthful bashfulness and naivety is in some way shamed, not permitted or in another way, not honored amongst their peers and adults, the blossoming youth will repress these innocent and unique traits and develop painful strategies to avoid feeling them again, instead, opting for dysfunctional behaviors to meet their relational and social needs. The shyness becomes covered with false confidence. The awkwardness, hidden beneath risk taking or brashness. The naivety, concealed within cleverness and compulsive all knowingness. The bashfulness, buried underneath a compulsive act, a performance, filled with humour and with intellect, in the service of entertainment. All in order to gain acceptance, validation, and at least a pseudo-integration into their peer circle. And, as the adolescent limps into adulthood, his or her relationships continue to hinge on their ability to re-enact these patterns. Perhaps growing in complexity, with sexuality, status and achievement, enriching their repertoire. Still running from the shameful exposure of their youthful awkwardness. Still playing a role to gain some love. Eventually, time erodes this 'putting on a show' into exhaustion, and the vulnerability of removing the armour and facing that raw and sweet adolescent ungainliness and youthful guileless inevitably unfolds. And, when witnessed, and met with love, is reflected back into acceptance. Can we allow our own and others 'not togetherness', the clumsiness, the unique gawkiness. Can we remove societal pressure for eternal gracefulness, the oppressive expectation of compulsive aptitude. Those that cannot cannot reconcile these parts of themselves, judge and vilify those that are living from them. In these imperfect self expressions, there is a unique quirkiness, the youthful sweet eccentricities, that define each and every one of us. It is, ironically, those that own their awkwardness, that are comfortable with their flawed weirdness, that are also the most genuine, and naturally emanate gracefulness. "Unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
24.01.2022 I have always been fascinated by the art of orator-ship What is it that truly separates persuasive speakers from the rest? Why is it that some can expound rationally cogent rhetoric and yet wield no real influence, while others can energise a crowd with incomprehensible or even inflammatory monologue ?...Continue reading
22.01.2022 An Ode to Night Owls A love affair with the Night My soul rests well within its stillness My creativity shines bright... The day is but a malaise Night heals me from its' illness It’s endless shadow casts a spell Enveloping me in a warm blanket The city sleeps and finally I hear: Nocturnal heart beat, soulful banquet I revel, in the sweet silence of the night She is my muse, who blesses me despite Me basking in her silhouetted, blackened light The Day - He, forces me to do: Fulfilling Tasks, life's goals and aspirations Then sweet night falls Permitting me, to just be still And in that place, I am flooded with creative inspirations Under the cover of the night Dispensing with the days worn mask The only danger, an impending dawn, I hunger for the days' next dusk My slumber keeps at bay the morning light I dream that Sweet dusk comes to kiss my day; good night For if the gods smile down upon me, Then the sun goes down without a fight The beauty of the tall dark night is lush Resist the coming of the morning sun Inevitable that the dawn sky be reborn and promptly blush, And as I drift, awake, to sleep My quiet prayer on nights wings Is that I live through yet another day Just to see my black night lovers gaze again
22.01.2022 What's with the sanitization of scent We are hard wired to attract through our primal sense of smell The strongest chemistry that I had with lovers always went hand in hand (or is it- nose in nose), with an enjoyment of their odour... Our scent is the natural expression of our essence through the olfactory mechanism via the excretion of pheromones The masking of this with generic perfumes, sterilizes uniqueness, and reinforces the visual medium for the purposes of attraction Our olfactory sense for one another, and indeed ourselves, has been so dulled that it is a social taboo to be called out on having unmasked body odour Our innate biological mechanisms are so powerful, they will indeed alter our body's scent in such a way as to reflect the state of our emotional health I have felt scents repel as a reflection of unhealed and unwanted sexual advances, as I have been aware of scents that lured me in like sirens before body language kicked in or verbal consent was given. I have noticed odours change, as trauma healed The chemically synthesized perfumes created in labs, mask authenticity, hiding something essential of the individual I'm not interested in a bouquet of flowers, im attracted to the fragrance of a soul Who cannot relate to not wanting to wash off their lover's scent the next day, to continue relishing their unique aroma
20.01.2022 Co-Dependency is a disease Relationship Coaches messiahs Personal Responsibility the remedy Relational Sovereignty the cure Boundaries the mantra...Continue reading
19.01.2022 The masculine desires to pursue the feminine, The feminine desires to be pursued by the masculine. Unimpeded by societal suppression, the movement to initiate, to engage and to penetrate, is in the nature of the masculine....Continue reading
19.01.2022 The archetype of the explorer seeks renewal through adventure Without it, he ossifies, growing apathetic in his stagnation The call to journey is the only thing unwavering, while all else is sought to change... The desire to explore, drives the explorer to endlessly re-invent himself The call to travel to new countries, a constant wanderlust And when borders close, confined by location, the direction of adventure turns inwards The urge to seek, for the very sake of seeking, is prevalent I've why he feels more peaceful and excited in a library or in an airport, than stationed in a life of ritual Like each novel presents a world unexplored, each gate, an undiscovered journey to traverse Several years ago, the weather and the lust to wander beckoned me outside Without a destination in mind, I began to follow my feet Somewhere deep within Melbournian suburbia, I fell into a reverie The reverie lead into a trance, and something deep began to dawn: My feet weren't seeking a specific destination In fact, it was the seeking itself, that they sought In other words, the process of adventure, was the actual destination There was nothing to find at its end The exploration, was the finding In the process of seeking, I had actually arrived The embodiment of this paradox brought me a deep sense of contentment and joy I had read these lofty spiritual teachings before many a time, but had never experienced them directly Blessed by this revelation, I boarded the tram, and without a clue as to its direction, blissed out in the journey The next day, the direct experience had evaporated, and I was back to looking for what I would attain at the end of each chosen path Nonetheless, I am still titillated by the possibility of setting out Outwardly or inwardly Creatively and sensually Intellectually and psychically For some souls, routine is death, and adventure, an aphrodisiac As Tolkien said: 'Not all those who wander are lost'
18.01.2022 An Artist's purpose is to make sense out of madness and tame chaos into sense. To ground the transcendent and enchant the profane. To give the mundane wings and watch it fly. ... To melt the boundaries and pierce the veil. To breach the crusty shallow surface and grow deep roots, while sprouting branches. To mystify reality, and to revolt against the norm. To smash the facade and provoke taboo. To give structure to anarchy and break order into bedlam.
16.01.2022 Creative Impasse Impatient creativity, unwillingly Struggles on its way out of me... Fingers hover, desperately Above the keyboard, stoically Waiting for the words to match the feelings, magically Mind reaching, frantically Wisps of inspiration Attainable, sporadically Emotions shift, maniacally Searching for an outlet, linguistically Stealthily, voices creep into my head Berating, critically Whispering, doubtfully My internal creative struggle Openly Honestly
15.01.2022 If I had to pin down the one quality that is most important for a public speaker / presenter / speaker / facilitator / trainer to possess, it would have to be Charisma. It is often confused with Charm, its’ less authentic, more contrived version, closer to manufactured warmth and amenability to get people to like oneself. Its genesis is surface based, rather than its deeper correlate. Charm’s reasons, are more self serving in nature....Continue reading
12.01.2022 When shame covers our actions, we can get paralyzed with the energy of responsibility. Shame can take the place of our ability to make choices and especially cover remorse - the natural feeling we have when we make a mistake. When shame toxicifies our ability to hold ourselves accountable, we tend to avoid responsibility and defensiveness takes place over ownership.... Some of the most damaging things we can do is to tell someone 'I told you so' - or something in this vain when they are genuinely feeling remorseful. Equally so - the doomsday warning of 'you will be sorry', creates the illusion that making a mistake and taking accountability for it, is something that one would best be advised to avoid. I have grown up in the sort of culture, where attacking ones actions for their level of 'incorrectness' and criticizing even when responsibility for choices has been owned, had created a fear of genuine, embodied apology, making remorse extremely vulnerable. Where owning a sincere 'Sorry' became completely unsafe, resulting in developing masterful deflective and argumentative skills as a means to survive. Only through the burning away of layers of toxic shame, is the fragile sweet and sad beauty of remorse coming back to me now. Allowing me to be softer, gentler, more content in my human fallibility, acceptably imperfect.
11.01.2022 Deprivation, I have found, underlies addiction. For deprivation is a state of permanent not enoughness. It is scarcity consciousness. Like a hungry ghost, I consumed continuously, only to have the product fall right through, and never really leave me permanently satiated....Continue reading
10.01.2022 The Evolution of Men on Mission ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man fails to launch Paralyzed with fear to leave his den He is creatively impotent... Not living, but existing in his father's shadow In the basement of a castle he was born into Growing more resentful and helpless as time passes Avoiding the blows of life As well its pre-destined glories The prince shrivels in his cradle ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man embarks on a journey But, lacking true vision And short on resolve He grows disheartened quickly Abandoning his dreams Conquered by adversity He turns back Or Distracted by sirens and the lure of his senses He mistakes heart's guidance for his childish impulses Allowing himself to stray from his mission Never accomplishing He is forever lost in the great wilderness Visiting kingdoms but never making one of his own Drinking from the chalice of others But never replenishing them His creative offsprings Unclaimed and orphaned Litter the wastelands devoured by him ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man sets off on his voyage Driven by the need to prove; His value to the world His masculinity to the feminine His potency to himself His vision is myopic His pathway rigid He does not allow the flow of life to guide him Nor his mind changed His need to accomplish demolishes those in his path Stunted as a savage that never matures into a warrior Leaving him alone and bitter to rot in his forgotten kingdom ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man hears the call to mission Anchored by resolve He listens to the whispers of his heart Steering his compass into lands unknown His destination remains mutable Holding it softly, allows it to transform He is a guest of other kingdoms when invited Yet seeks to build his own When he hears his heart beckon to change course He obeys And in this way He too commands He is committed to his spirit first And in that way He serves the subjects of his kingdom well His reward, the Holy Grail ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That which has sprung from his creative seed Is never left abandoned For if his guidance says 'Enough' He does not silence it To stay and wilt from obligation Nor does he withdraw and run Having gorged himself on her most delicate nectar He gives his fullness into closure Dismantling and mourning Are equally important to him As fertilizing was. See more
09.01.2022 "Do you realise how you guys are constantly ribbing one another, mercilessly pegging each other down?" I once remarked to a group of male construction workers in a workshop on leadership, to a chorus of reluctant grumblings, signifying agreement. "We are going to sit in a circle, and each of you will take their turn in the centre, while the others will say something genuinely affirming, complimentary and positive about the centred individual", I informed them, raising an anxi...ous murmur, as the audience shifted uncomfortably in their seats. They aligned their chairs, exchanging "What the fuck" looks, and took their places, arms folded, eyes furtively glancing at watches. "Darren, you are up first, mate", I instigated, steadfast to the collective air of resistance. A burly, barrel-chested, self-described 'no touchy feely stuff bloke', with a trucker's beard and navy blue worker gear shorts, widened his eyes at me, "You aren't gonna make me sing Kumbaya now, are ya Igor?", fear hidden in his humour, as he mocked his escape by feigning bolting for the classroom door. I waited for him to settle in the centre, took a moment to drop into myself, and connect through my gaze, "I see the soft, generous heart beneath the gruff, tough bloke exterior", I uttered, slowly, meaningfully Letting the words settle. "And a man who looks after other's, but does not let himself to looked after", I added a few moments later, authentically, poignantly. An escapist glance away at his mates, a wry grin, an uncomfortable re-crossing of the feet, attempts to twist away from the vulnerability of receiving, of hearing, of seeing. I held my meaning, determined that my gift be received. A few moments of pregnant silence passed. And then Moistness in the corners of his unblinking eyes, as the offering penetrated beneath the shell and reached that soft core that I was pointing to. The vulnerable truth of it, landing. His body, softened, as each statement from his colleagues and mates, penetrated further and deeper, reaching parts of him he had long given up on. The atmosphere in the room charged with electric magnetism, as each person took their turn offering, and then receiving. Sacred masculine work. That day, I witnessed bravado melt, sensitivity emerge, relationships deepen and brotherhood emerge.
09.01.2022 While the layman dwells in the mundane, And the madman exists in suffering, The mystic transcends them both completely. The artist on the other hand, pendulates between them all; ... Dabbing his brush into darkness and scrawling masterpieces across the sky. Possessed by demons and by gods, he buys the bliss of the sublime and pays for it in human blood. Savouring the sweet nectar of the ethereal one day, tasting the bile of depression in the one that follows. Ecstatic in the throes of inspiration in one moment, crippled by self criticism and doubt in his own creations, in the very next. The range and depth of highs and lows, gives greater nuisance and subtler flavours to his ever growing palette of emotions. Experiencing suffering is the artist's currency for greater breadth of expressiveness Full of contradictions, unable to be classified A genius to some, and neurotically unstable to others Preferring inspiration from a muse, over familiar dependencies with a partner And to be with lovers, but never to be owned by them Suffocated by cold hard logic, imprisoned by the structure of the day, emancipated by the night, takes flight into creation He is the shape-shifting magician, condemned to live in all worlds, and yet belong to neither Intimate with the pain inherent in the human condition, while giving birth to its transcendent expression. Forever dancing across dimensions, threads worlds into tapestries, binding and holding them together.
05.01.2022 A couple of weeks ago, on a three way zoom call, one of my friend's asked me and the other about the marketing of her business idea. "Find the essence of who you are, what you want to represent and put that out there," My other friend offered. I find these sorts of suggestions, to carry the implicit idea that one should not care about what others will think, and that simply being and broadcasting one's message, will manifest the people that are ready to receive their vibratio...n. I have always found this to be somewhat spiritually transcended over grounded and pragmatic reality. Perhaps this approach is a backlash to the co-dependent intimate and business relationships of old. Where some deeper spiritual truths of utter self reliance and principles of manifestation have been hijacked in a rebellious: 'I don't need anyone to meet my needs', and 'all I need to do is be my authentic self, and the universe will provide' or 'I'm responsible for myself, and everyone else is responsible for themselves' narratives. Therefore, 'I have the licence to say and do whatever I want, whenever I want, to whoever I want, so long as its in alignment with Myself'. In honesty, it smacks of a teenager defying one's parents in a fight for autonomy. Within this lies a neglect of the consideration of the relationships to others, becoming a form of spiritually justified narcissism. Having one's truth, doesn't absolve one from considering the form it takes and how its delivery is going to impact others, nor the timing or necessity of its expression. I believe it is possible to find the middle ground in personal relationships, as well as in business marketing. An offering is only a gift when a receiver is able to understand its value. So long as one does not divorce their essence from the message, it is possible to enfold their gift in the shiny-est of wrappers. In other words, one's authentic message, does not need to be diluted nor sacrificed for others. Rather, there are many ways in which a truth can be delivered based on the needs, culture and language of an audience, without losing its heart. This type of care, nurtures relationships, rather than simply asserting oneself over it. Every psychological and anthropological study under the sun, confirms our deeply wired biological, emotional and undoubtedly spiritual need for connection with others. Every therapeutic modality worth its salt, supports the development of strategies for networks and relationship building. This is what makes us human. In the counselling and business message coaching that I do, the relationship is the central foundation upon which everything else is possible. Yes, connection to others cannot come at the cost of losing connection to ourselves. Yet, at the nexus of self and other, is where our relationship to the world can flourish.
02.01.2022 How do you support someone who asks for help yet cannot receive it when it’s offered? I often see clients who are seemingly desperately looking for answers, hopping from therapist to therapist, workshop to workshop, relationship to relationship, seemingly impoverished and bereft of ever getting enough. Yet, to whatever is offered, there is always a reason why it’s already been tried and failed, or it was not the thing that could possibly work for them. ... Underlying the neediness for help aka the need to be rescued, is the disowning of a very vulnerable state of helplessness. As a child develops, he is met with challenges that are often beyond his comprehension and stage of maturation. Helplessness is a normal and healthy experience at this time, to which the child responds with asking for support to overcome the problem. If he is however met with pushiness to try harder, or think differently, with the threat of shame due to failure or the expectation to otherwise rely on his own resources, his feelings of helplessness and requests for assistance can become repressed. The invalidation of helplessness, and the beliefs of ‘I need to do it on my own’ along with the inability to ask for or receive support become hard wired. The repressed energy is sublimated into neediness that can never be met, because any offer to help is met with the conditioned response of ‘I’m not worthy or I need to rely on myself’ programming. It’s a closed circuit. Often labelled as narcissism. Expressed in an seeming self absorption, incessant talking about oneself or the constant asking for attention, validation or reassurances. The way through is to assist such a person to take the very vulnerable plunge as an adult, safely, into the abyss of sheer child like helplessness, disarmed and laid bare to having to rely on another. In a safe container, with the deep request for help, and the utter trust of help coming, there is an opening to truly receive what wasn’t given all those years back. This has the power to rewire neurology. To know that help is available when one wants to ask. To re-own one’s helplessness, is to open to receiving help. And, when one knows he can ask and can receive when he is in need, the black hole of narcissistic neediness dissolves Activating one’s capacity, for altruistic giving.
