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Wholehearted Counselling and Coaching

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24.01.2022 Mamoon Yusef shares his understanding of The Inside Out Paradigm also known as The 3 principles

24.01.2022 Everything you know about depression could be wrong

22.01.2022 Are you ready? Are you ready to discover who you really are? The first step begins here, completely FREE! join:The Mothers Wholehearted Living Community277/... The Journey Towards Self-Awareness Self awareness comes in many forms, some of which you may be more familiar with than others. Perhaps you are someone who is very in tune with your emotions but who finds it very difficult to recognize your destructive thought patterns. When we challenge ourselves to grow in the following areas amazing things happen. Relationships transform and we begin to follow our hearts desires. There may be shifts and bumps along the way as we work out the unhealthy habits and relationships in our lives, but its always worth the journey. Join me in a closed group as I run a free 5 Day Soul writing challenge that is geared to: Practice Authenticity-Are you fully showing up and being your authentic self in everything you do? Understand Your Emotions Recognize Destructive Thought Patterns Understand Your Beliefs and Values- understand how Beliefs and expectations can be passed down through generations. join:The Mothers Wholehearted Living Community277/

22.01.2022 This is a very important message especially for married couples, parents, friendships and the people you work with (including those in Dawah orgs.)... We have ...come a long way Alhamdulilah; but we still have a long way to go... both men and women need to know their values, learn how to express their emotions and needs comfortably, be vulnerable, speak their truth, etc without having the other side feel threatened, offended, shocked, or worst of all, ignored and punished for their feelings, expectations and standards... Its actually an *Islamic requirement* to do so... because saying things we dont mean is a form of dishonesty...and pretending to be OK when we are not, is a form of hypocrisy (the 2 face kind of people we all despise)...

18.01.2022 Watch out for these indicators in your children

16.01.2022 The unknown isnt a dark scary place its the place we live our life from as each moment unfolds. The unknown to me is a playground of possibility. A space to experiment and play. What does it mean to you?

12.01.2022 In honor of mental health awareness month. Don't be mad at yourself if it takes time to heal. Feel every part of that wound and work through it.

12.01.2022 Listen! Your body will always tell you what is needs

12.01.2022 Funny but a simple explanation

11.01.2022 How many times have you said my life is a mess because of (insert persons name or event), or spent many years being angry because of how people treated you? ...I too have played this game. My journey into self discovery has been a turbulent one. I spent most of my life angry, bitter and felt everything that was happening and had happened to me was what THAT person/persons was doing to me.....I played victim. I began fighting EVERYBODY and pushing them all away......I found myself in the car with my partner at the time one morning, driving to visit his sister. He attempted to engage in conversation with me but I felt numb, my face was expressionless, my body felt heavy, only sound I could hear was that of white noise in my head. I knew he was talking to me but had no inclination to engage. I was jolted out of my numbness by the car screeching to a halt and my friend turning to me. In my head I was already prepared for the disconnected words that I had so often heard from him and many others, the snap out of it, the you have so much to live for, so why are you wasting it energetically I had already dissociated from my body (defense response) but instead as I looked at him his face was soft, his voice was calm and his words would change my life forever. You know Pam, my life is so much better with you in it it was like a lightening strike into my forehead he then went on to say you have so much love and compassion within you and the world needs to see it I begin to cry he continues from today onward, each time I look at you, thats all I am choosing to see and that was was the turning point for me. With the support of him and his family I embarked on my journey of looking within myself instead of looking outside of myself, for the light and the dark...I began seeking both to unlock my true potential. I unfortunately no longer have these people in my close support circle but his words will forever bring me gratitude. He was the first person that taught me to look beyond a persons behavior-pain/suffering and focus on the unlimited potential for change within. To him and his family I give thanks I may stumble sometimes but I will NEVER forget your courage and love

11.01.2022 Dear mumma, you are perfect When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day....... An angel came by and asked." Why spend so much time on her?" T...he lord answered. "Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?" She must function on all kinds of situations, She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart, She must do all this with only two hands,"She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day" THE ANGEL was impressed "Just two hands.....impossible! And this is the standard model?" The Angel came closer and touched the woman "But you have made her so soft, Lord". "She is soft", said the Lord, "But I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome." "Can she think?" The Angel asked... The Lord answered. "Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate." The Angel touched her cheeks.... "Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her" "She is not leaking...it is a tear" The Lord corrected the Angel "What's it for?" Asked the Angel..... . The Lord said. "Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride."... This made a big impression on the Angel, "Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything. A woman is indeed marvellous" Lord said."Indeed she is. She has strength that amazes a man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid. She fights for what she believes in. Her love is unconditional. Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life" The Angel asked: "So she is a perfect being?" The lord replied: "No. She has just one drawback She often forgets what she is worth." -author unknown See more

11.01.2022 Repost from another page. I hope youll savor every perfect word. Feel your feelings is one of those phrases, like love yourself, that used to drive me insane. No shit, I would think. Feel your feelings. Dont numb out or bypass or self-medicate. Got it. Okay then: Here I am, feeling my feelings. THE PROOF IS THAT IM MISERABLE AND HOW IS THIS HELPING? A feeling would come up, my mind would hook into it and launch into the familiar spiral of criticism or sta...rt down the well-worn path of painful associations and memories, and Id be off and running: feeling the hell out of that feeling. Trapped in the feeling for the foreseeable future. Forward my mail, hold my calls. Me + This Feeling, 4-ever. It changed my life when I realized that this process was actually THINKING my feelings, not feeling them. Feeling your feelings is... news flash... literally about experiencing and noticing the physical sensations a feeling brings up in your body, breathing through them, not judging them or pushing away, not using them as fodder to torture yourself with an old mental story. A miraculous thing happens when you do this: the feeling moves through you, washes over you, and then it passes. It doesnt hijack your entire afternoon. It doesnt move all its crap into your guest room and leave its dirty dishes in your sink and not pay rent. It comes, it goes.

11.01.2022 Feeling your thinking = unconscious behavior

09.01.2022 Very Interesting... Sunflowers turn according to the position of the sun. In other words, they chase the light. You might already know this, but there is another fact that you probably do not know! Have you ever wondered what happens on cloudy and rainy days when the sun is completely covered by clouds?... ... This is an interesting question.Isnt it? Perhaps you think the sunflower withers or turns its head towards the ground. Is this what crossed your mind? Well, thats incorrect! This is what happens? *They turn towards each other to share their energy.* Natures perfection is amazing. Now lets apply this reflection to our lives. Many people may become low-spirited, and the most vulnerable ones, sometimes, become depressed. How about following the example of the beautiful sunflowers i.e."Supporting and empowering each other". Nature has so much to teach us. Wishing everyone a "Sun flower" trait of turning towards each other on their cloudy and gloomy days.

09.01.2022 If a parent denied their own reality, they will also deny our own. This can be something seemingly small like a child crying + the parent says oh, its not tha...t bad Or something more complex like a child disclosing theyve been victimized in some way + the parent (in denial + afraid of their own pain) denies that the situation happened. Sometimes it can look like criticism or rejection + when we speak about the incident were told that never happened. This only feeds into our core wound of reality denial + further makes us question if we are crazy. This is because we are an an egocentric state that says: if our truth isnt universally shared, its not real. Our ego is fragile in this state, so it becomes highly active. Seeking to be right it makes us project our truth onto everyone around us. It just means we each have perceptions based on the lens of our pasts. Holding space for two truths to exist at once is emotional maturity. Something that takes practice, because few of us were conditioned in homes where this was taught. To begin validating your reality just witness what youre feeling. A story will come up, one that tell judges you for what youre feeling. Just observe it. Practice speaking I allow this. Breathe. The next time youre questioning your own reality, ask yourself: what if I honored this reality without needing to share it? #selfhealers

08.01.2022 Why being bored is good for children. Read more: http://wef.ch/2cQ3se8

08.01.2022 I have always loved the present moment awareness that would come from some quiet time doing dishes and folding clothes. Now it makes sense

07.01.2022 Repost from another page. I hope you’ll savor every perfect word. Feel your feelings is one of those phrases, like love yourself, that used to drive me insane. No shit, I would think. Feel your feelings. Don’t numb out or bypass or self-medicate. Got it. Okay then: Here I am, feeling my feelings. THE PROOF IS THAT I’M MISERABLE AND HOW IS THIS HELPING? A feeling would come up, my mind would hook into it and launch into the familiar spiral of criticism or sta...rt down the well-worn path of painful associations and memories, and I’d be off and running: feeling the hell out of that feeling. Trapped in the feeling for the foreseeable future. Forward my mail, hold my calls. Me + This Feeling, 4-ever. It changed my life when I realized that this process was actually THINKING my feelings, not feeling them. Feeling your feelings is... news flash... literally about experiencing and noticing the physical sensations a feeling brings up in your body, breathing through them, not judging them or pushing away, not using them as fodder to torture yourself with an old mental story. A miraculous thing happens when you do this: the feeling moves through you, washes over you, and then it passes. It doesn’t hijack your entire afternoon. It doesn’t move all its crap into your guest room and leave its dirty dishes in your sink and not pay rent. It comes, it goes.

07.01.2022 Light in the Heart of Darkness

07.01.2022 After my divorce... I have continued to educate myself on the art of healthy relationships while trying to understand the breakdown in mine... because I know th...at eventually, I will be ready to step into another relationship that is healthy and happy. I came across this article from The Gottman Institue. Their work is quite amazing when it comes to relationships and it really rings true to me. Here is a short article that I found interesting. Comments? The Good Enough Relationship I encourage couples to strive for the good enough relationship, which sounds like settling for less than best. Allow me to explain. In a good enough relationship, people have high expectations for how theyre treated. They expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. They do not tolerate emotional or physical abuse. They expect their partner to be loyal. This does not mean they expect their relationship to be free of conflict. Even happily married couples argue. Conflict is healthy because it leads to greater understanding. People should not expect to solve all of the problems in their relationship, either. My Love Lab studies found that almost of relationship conflict is perpetual. As Dr. Dan Wile says, When choosing a long-term partner you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems. Further, its unrealistic to expect a relationship to heal childhood wounds, or to become a pathway to spiritual enlightenment or self-actualization. Eli Finkel, psychology professor at Northwestern University, encourages couples to recalibrate their marital expectations for these existential needs. So dont settle for being treated poorly. As a father, the best way to buffer my daughter from being in a bad relationship in the future is to treat her with love and respect, so she will expect to be treated the same way her partner. In our empirically-based theory, the Sound Relationship House, we describe what couples in the good enough relationship do and have. They are good friends. They have a satisfying sex life. They trust one another, and are fully committed to one another. They can manage conflict constructively. That means they can arrive at mutual understanding and get to compromises that work. And they can repair effectively when they hurt one another. They honor one anothers dreams, even if theyre different. They create a shared meaning system with shared values and ethics, beliefs, rituals, and goals. They agree about fundamental symbols like what a home is, what love is, and how to raise their children. Expect that. You deserve it. Its not unreasonable, and its achievable.

04.01.2022 If you are wondering where to start when it comes to talking to your kids about sex - then look no further than www.sexedrescue.com check it out on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/SxEdRescue/

04.01.2022 Tribute to all beautiful mums out there and the challenges of parenthood. Getting out of the house sometimes is just not that simple breathe

04.01.2022 https://www.instagram.com/p/B0UQMLzg8N8/

03.01.2022 If you are not familiar with The Five Love Languages yet, I suggest you check them out. Very simple, yet very powerful understanding of people and their driving needs.

03.01.2022 Childhood trauma causes a disconnection from self. Disconnection from self causes us to outsource our worth, our knowing, + our reality. This codependency condi...tioning puts our emotional state in the hands of another person. How they feel about us becomes how we feel about ourselves. We become a human performance. An avatar of a person we believe should receive love. Betraying parts of ourselves, we create a shadow self. The shadow self is parts of us we deny. Denial causes suffering. So many of us have social anxiety or general anxiety because on a spiritual level we are deeply disconnected from our true initiative state. From our authentic self. Instead, we are completely identified with the ego the thought patterns of the mind. The ego creates stories based on our early trauma. Like a broken record it speaks about comparison, lack, + judgment. This tape plays in our mind all day long. Lost in thought, we are our thoughts. We are sleepwalking. In an unconscious autopilot re-creating past dynamics in the present. Our work is to expand our consciousness. Consciousness is simply awareness. Its observing (without judgement) like a curious student of self. What do I think? How do I speak? How do my relationships make me feel? How do I respond when Im triggered? What behavioral patterns do I have? This is the journey of returning home. The integration of mind, body, + soul that we lost as children raised by wounded humans who lost their own connection to self. Do you identity any (usually more than one) of these within you? #selfhealers

02.01.2022 To the mother whom feels lost and disconnected from themselves, loved ones and is seeking a deeper, connected, authentic experience of motherhood and life? Are ...the stresses of motherhood and worries about your child impacting your life? Do you sometimes feel inadequate as a mother, or worried that you're not doing it right? Well gorgeous mother, you are not alone Raising children can be challenging, particularly in this fast paced technological age and it is hard to take some time for yourself. That is why I have created this free gift for you, to take 15 blissful minutes just for YOU. Uncover the Diamond that resides within you- reach your true potential and live and parent from a place of Authenticity and Awareness.

01.01.2022 Perceptions At this point in time I am laying in my bed, being woken up every hour on the hour. I used to fight it, get frustrated with it and allow it to ruin my sleep and ruin the following day. As I have now learnt to relax into these moments more I am amazed at the insights into myself, those around me and about human behavior -or at least our mind. I had a few hallucinations ( thoughts) around perception or at least the perception that others have had if me and have sha...red with me. Two main mood states that I have been in became clearer to me 1- when I am in a high mood state, feeling confident, many creative ideas, a sense of got it all together and there is nothing I can not achieve. Things appear to e effortless. And 2- when I am in a low mood state and struggle be able to construct a sandwich without having to think feeling hard about it. Things appear to be to need a lot of effort. Both states are what we all feel to varying degrees and neither are wrong......however the perception of me that other people hold when I present in either of these states has been fascinating. Their impulse to attempt to change my mood state, I find even more interesting. Person 1- perceives in in a high mood state,a manifester, invincible, infallible , a go getter. They are drawn to me, want to be around me and thrive in my energy. When this person sees me in a low mood state they perceive me as depressed, burden on them, a killjoy, lost and often will be standing in front of me with their hands on hips asking me where did you go? they can not get away from me quick enough. Person 2- perceives me in a low mood state and perceives me as strong, resilient, authentic, taking time for myself to rebuild. They are drawn to my vulnerability. When they see me in a high mood state they perceive me at arrogant, inauthentic, ruthless and uncaring. Standing in front of me with their hands on their hips asking me where did you go? They can not get away from me quick enough. How can two people have such different perceptions of me? And different perceptions of my ever changing mood states. The insight from this restlessness and thinking we really can not please everybody and certainly not all the time also that both of my states of being are authentic and not to put pressure on myself to meet them with the one they are most comfortable with thus being inauthentic.

01.01.2022 I invite you pause after reading this and tell me what you take from this statement.