The Bottom Drawer Book: The After Death Action Plan | Books & magazines
The Bottom Drawer Book: The After Death Action Plan
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25.01.2022 IT'S DYING TO KNOW DAY! August 8 is an activity-filled day aimed at giving you the opportunity to stare your mortality in the face and take charge. There are lots of online activities on today, and in the coming week, to help you make better plans, have important conversations, and learn and think about your options. ... I'm hosting a virtual cemetery tour to some of Australia's most remote cemeteries to share the stories they hold at 4:30 this arvo. This link has info about that and a stack of other talks and seminars: https://www.thegroundswellproject.com/2020d2kdayevents I'm 'attending' three events so I might see you online! xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au #D2KD
25.01.2022 DEATH BY DIPTHERIA Easily prevented by a vaccine these days, diptheria was one of the many diseases that were fatal to Australia's colonial and pioneering families. I found this grave belonging to Charlotte and Robert McCoy in Ensay Cemetery, Victoria. They were two siblings who died of diptheria on the same day - 22 April 1895. ... Charlotte was 7, Robert was 2. How lucky we are to have vaccines for these sorts of diseases these days! In the 1890s, many public hospitals established diphtheria wards. Diphtheria outbreaks frequently reached epidemic levels and caused more deaths in Australia than any other infectious disease. Charlotte and Robert's mother Margaret died relatively young too. She was aged 51. She also rests in the beautiful Ensay Cemetery in country Victoria. Cemeteries are good reminders about how tough life was back then. xLisa thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
24.01.2022 Today is world emoji day apparently. I'm listening to the radio and the host says your top 5 emojis give an indication of the kind of person you are. Here goes... ... I think its a pretty close resemblance! What do your top 5 emojis say about you?
24.01.2022 Some Melbourne funeral directors are being pressured by mourners to break the 10 person rule, but a funeral cluster would mean the end of funerals. An interesting article.
24.01.2022 Wow. A hospital bed that converts to a coffin. Practical? Very. Disconcerting? Yes. ... SO thankful to be in Australia right now.
24.01.2022 IMAGINE CARRYING A COFFIN UP THIS SLOPE! This afternoon I'm in Walhalla, Victoria. The cemetery here is on the side of a hill and dates back to 1866, with 1300 known burials since. The graves have been built into the hill, as you can see in the photo I've put in the comments.
24.01.2022 I lost a close friend to suicide during my senior year of high school. It was a really dark time for me. I kept thinking that I must have missed something, and... that I could have been more supportive. The day after his funeral was particularly hard, so I drove out to the cemetery after school. It was the beginning of March. It was freezing. His grave didn’t even have a headstone yet, but I sat down on the ground and started to cry. After a few minutes I felt a hand on my shoulder. It freaked me out at first, because I’d thought I was alone. But I looked up and saw a man in his eighties. He told me his name was Jack, and asked me if I was OK. And I don’t know whymaybe because he was so much older, but I ended up telling him everything. He listened quietly, then he told me not to blame myself. And that the best way to honor someone was to live your life to the fullest. It was nothing too profound. And it was nothing that I hadn’t heard before. But it was something I needed to hear in that moment. Afterwards Jack told me that his wife Anna was buried at the cemetery. He told me that he visited her every day, and could still feel her presence, and he couldn’t wait to see her again. Then he asked if I’d like to visit her grave. From the way he’d spoken about her, I assumed that Anna had just passed away. But when we arrived at her marker, I saw that she’d been gone for sixteen years. We said our goodbyes, and Jack told me that he’d visit my friend’s grave whenever he stopped by the cemetery. And I promised to do the same for his wife. For years I kept that promise. I’d often find the same bouquet of flowers at both graves, so I knew that Jack was keeping his promise too. After I moved away for college, my trips to the cemetery grew further and further apart. Then a couple of years ago I went for a visit, and I couldn’t find Anna’s grave anywhere. I started to panic. But there were a lot of fall leaves on the ground, and it wasn’t an upright stone. So I thought maybe it was hidden. After a few minutes of searching, I finally found it. In the same place it had always been. Only this time there was a completely new gravestone-- and Jack’s name was on it too. See more
24.01.2022 I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS "My mother hasnt passed, or passed on, or gone to a better place. She is not lost; we know exactly where she is. Under a camellia bush."
23.01.2022 A CEMETERY GARDEN IN MUNICH You may have seen recent posts about a Brisbane man who has planted a garden on the grave of six ancestors at Toowong Cemetery. Robert Hewitt has sent me these photos which he took in Germany last May. This is one of several woodland cemeteries over there.... Designed by architect Hans Grässel, he kept the trees growing in the area, "letting the woods cover tombs in order to create a feeling of connection between nature and death rather than letting the individual monuments be the main feature of the cemetery". Stunning, isn't it? xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
23.01.2022 THE APP THAT REMINDS YOU YOU'RE GOING TO DIE. During a recent 'death cafe' via Zoom, an App called WeCroak was recommended. Several times a day I now get a message: "Don't forget, you're going to die", followed by a quote. You see, in the country of Bhutan, they say contemplating death five times a day brings happiness. ... I've taken screen shots of some of the quotes and here's an article explaining the theory: http://www.bbc.com//20150408-bhutans-dark-secret-to-happin What do you think? Will you download the App? I think about death regularly anyway so the jury is out about its value to me. But it might assist others. Let me know what you think! xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
23.01.2022 LIVE CEMETERY TOUR This looks interesting! Tomorrow afternoon at 2 (Sunday May 31) there's a live online tour through Ballarat cemetery. Tickets are a bit over $8. There's a mass grave in that cemetery. Some say bodies are buried 12 deep.
23.01.2022 AUSTRALIA'S LARGEST FUNERAL PROVIDER CALLED OUT. Choice hands Shonky awards to InvoCare funerals for a lack of pricing transparency.
23.01.2022 ECO-COFFIN WORKSHOPS BOOKING OUT AS PEOPLE LEARN ABOUT DYING SUSTAINABLY via ABC News. People sign up to an eco coffin-making workshops with the hope of reducing their environmental footprint in both life and death. Workshop participants have shared their creations made by crocheting, sewing, felting and painting and received online talks from experts about dying sustainably.... "In Australia, the majority of people are really trying hard to change their ways to live a sustainable life," says organiser Abby Buckley. "We're trying to move from a fossil fuel economy to a renewable economy And yet, it's like all that thinking goes out the window when we die. "We're learning a dialogue, we're becoming more informed so that when we are working with the professionals in this industry, it's easier for them because they can have a more empowered conversation," said Abby. For more: https://www.abc.net.au//eco-friendly-coffins-gain/12279940
21.01.2022 BURIED IN A BLANKET This roadside memorial dates back to early 1847. William Saffin was a local shepherd and father of three. He was buried in his blanket and that's how this stunning spot got its name - Blanket Hill. If you're in Gippsland you'll find it on the Heyfield-Jamieson Rd, about 200 metres from Kellehers Rd, north of Glenmaggie.... While there's a sign at the site calling it a grave, there is some evidence that it's a cairn. The grave is said to be a few hundred metres away and can be seen only after a bushfire. (More details in the comments) xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
21.01.2022 I often hear stories about the integral role animals play in their human's death. I think it's a connection we'll never be able to understand, but it's truly wonderful.
20.01.2022 Russell Brand talks about the death of his cat of 16 years, the role of ritual, the importance of a connection to nature, and the final gift the cat gave him. It's very interesting and relatable.
20.01.2022 ORA BANDA CEMETERY GIVES US GLIMPSES OF OUR PIONEERING GOLD MINING PAST This week I've been introducing you to some of the residents of Ora Banda Cemetery in WA's goldfields by sharing the newspaper articles written about their accidental deaths. (See previous posts) WILLIAM BAILEY DIED 1915 AGED 45... (NB. An ore pass refers to a sloped passage used for the transfer of material in underground mine workings. A shaft for the ore, if you like) "An accident occurred at the Victorious Mine at 11:45pm yesterday, resulting in the death of William Murray Bailey. Bailey, with two other men, was trucking ore down a pass from the surface to the 100 foot level. At knockoff time Bailey could not be found and fears were entertained that he might have fallen down the pass. The shift boss went to the 100 foot level to run down about a truck full of dirt on the level when the body of the unfortunate man was discovered in the pass, and although the body was warm, life was extinct. The late Mr Bailey had been a resident of Ora Banda for seven years and was highly respected by all he came in contact with. The cortege was a long one, and over 50 members of the Miners Union marched behind the remains of their late comrade." As reported in the Kalgoorlie Miner newspaper, Sept 1915 There was hearsay at the time that Mr Bailey was found without any shoes on. Why? No-one knows. Tomorrow you'll meet the only woman in Ora Banda Cemetery. How did she remain a spinster living in a gold mining region? xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
19.01.2022 There's only one woman in Ora Banda Cemetery in WA's goldfields and her occupation is listed on cemetery records as 'spinster'. How does a woman remain unmarried in a busy gold mining town? I posed the question to a friend who said: You know what they say about blokes in mining towns the odds are good, but the goods are odd! Maybe she looked at the lives of many married women then (drudgery) and thought, maybe Ill just keep myself nice... Elizabeth Richards' spinster status made me wonder if she was a nun. A photo of her in a historical booklet behind the bar at the Ora Banda pub (which has since burned down) didnt give any indication that she was a nun However an article about the funeral of Elizabeth Richards in the Roman Catholic magazine (31 May 1913) reveals that she was a child of Mary. A Child of Mary was a member of a religious youth group girl, a young woman who was accepted into the ranks of catholic lay women and vowed not to marry a man who was not of Catholic faith. They wore a pale blue, full length cloak and a white veil for their meetings. Elizabeth obviously stayed true to her faith until she died unexpectedly of rheumatoid fever. Or maybe there were slim pickings in Ora Banda in the early 1900s? Either way, her grave and subsequent investigation reveals a small slice of goldfields history. There's more about Ora Banda Cemetery in my latest blog: https://thebottomdrawerbook.blog//how-does-a-woman-die-a-/ xLisa
19.01.2022 My friend made me giggle today. If you wander through country cemeteries you'll often notice multiple generations of the one family. They're the locals!
18.01.2022 Here's yet another push for a natural burial ground. And you'd be giving life to koalas!
17.01.2022 I'm so glad The Bobkatz liked the blog I wrote about their talented band mate Gaz. His ashes were put in a shaker so he could still make music after he died.
17.01.2022 This incident is so frustrating and disappointing. Hopefully the Coroner's findings will encourage more doctors to heed Advance Care Directives and rethink their 'save a life at all costs' approach.
16.01.2022 A MUSICIAN, HIS STOLEN BODY, A NATIONAL PARK, A TIN OF GASOLINE, AND AN INFAMOUS 'CREMATION'. THIS IS THE CRAZY STORY OF GRAM PARSONS' AFTER-DEATH ADVENTURE. Forty-seven years ago, on September 19, 26-year-old musician Gram Parsons died of multiple drug use (morphine and tequila) in a California motel room. His death inspired one of the more bizarre automobile-related crimes on record: Two of his friends stashed his body in a borrowed hearse and drove it into the m...Continue reading
15.01.2022 PANDEMIC FUNERALS: INSIDE A MORTUARY DURING CORONOVIRUS The funeral industry has had to adapt to new regulations around death care during the pandemic at the same time as dealing with an increase in work. Poppys Funerals in south London is one provider that believes that public health concerns should not impact upon its ability to carry out its role with humanity and respect. The Guardian spent the day inside its mortuary to see how the firm and its staff have adapted to the new challenges they face.
14.01.2022 A HAPPY WANDERER. I snapped this in WA's Pilbara. Len is at rest in Marble Bar's Pioneer Cemetery. "A happy wanderer' conjures up such a sweet image. ... What three words on your headstone would describe you? For me: 'a bad dancer' or 'lover of nature'. You? xLisa www.thebotomdrawerbook.com.au
13.01.2022 Everyone's got a story: The importance of obituaries.
12.01.2022 THIS IS SO GREAT! THE AUSTRALIAN DEATH NOTIFICATION SERVICE NOW NATIONWIDE, ALMOST. There's now a one-stop online service to help families notify banks, power providers and other organisations that someone has died. Paperwork is the last thing anyone wants to do when they're mourning a lost loved one so this is a fantastic service. ... The ADNS was launched in NSW earlier this year and now it's available in all states and territories except the ACT. The service validates details about the person who has died against the system that holds death registration data recorded by birth, deaths and marriages registries. It means you don't have to show your loved one's death certificate or tell your story over and over. There's still a fair way to go to get more organisations signed up but it's a great start! The big four banks were the first to get on board and now Optus, Vodafone and Telstra have also joined. The website is http://deathnotification.gov.au/ Congrats to the NSW Minister for Customer Service (who knew there was a such a thing?!) Victor Dominello MP and his team for doing this. Let's hope lots more organisations come on board soon. xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
12.01.2022 MY BLOG HAS BEEN BANNED - TOO THOROUGH AND ACCURATE, YOU SEE. Well, I'm happy to see this Facebook page is still up and running amid this ridiculous situation which now doesn't allow news of Facebook. Disappointingly my 'Bottom Drawer Book blog' has been caught up in this so I can no longer share my blogs here on Facebook. I was listening to Communications Minister Paul Fletcher speak on the radio and he said that any site with credible, well-researched fact-checked inform...ation by journalists was being disallowed. So, while I'm not a news organisation, I do run an informative blog on funerals, funeral planning, death and cemeteries. And that means my work can't and won't be shared on Facebook. There is a link to my blog from my website (look for the blog tab) so feel free to go to the website and peruse the 50 blogs that offer insights into interesting cemeteries and graves, funeral planning, missing remains, death and funeral legislation, all sorts of things! A journalist of close to 20 years, a lot of work goes into those blogs. They're thorough and accurate, and offer factual information that is often hard to come by and topics no-one else touches. No wonder it's been banned! Grrrrr. So make yourself a coffee and enjoy the 'Bottom Drawer Book blog' via my website, not via Facebook! xLisa http://thebottomdrawerbook.com.au/
11.01.2022 SATURDAY AFTERNOON: 4:30 EST.... TAKE AN ONLINE CEMETERY STROLL TO SOME OF AUSTRALIA'S MOST REMOTE GRAVES Ahead of Dying to Know Day on Saturday, join me for a cemetery stroll to meet some of the people who rest in some of Australia's most remote graves. To register for one of the two FREE events click on the link below.... This online Zoom slideshow will look at the role of cemeteries and the stories they protect. From a grave marker made of a kerosene can, scarves draped on a cross, shells scattered on a grave, angry words etched on a headstone, to no words at all, all have a story to tell, either about the person buried there or where and how they lived. See you online on either Wednesday night or Saturday arvo where I look forward to sharing the graves I've researched during my extensive travels throughout rural and regional Australia. #D2KD xLisa Herbert www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
11.01.2022 A lovely, restful spot to commemorate the life of "Captain Awesome" who is now "free to ride the waves". Memorials come in all shapes and sizes and are a special part of the fabric of many public spaces.
09.01.2022 TREES RECOVER, HEARTS NOT SO MUCH It's been close to 11 years since I visited the cemetery at Marysville. My first visit was in December 2009, 10 months after Black Saturday. I returned today. There's now a memorial to those who died "as a result of the firestorm that swept through Marysville and District on Black Saturday, 7th February 2009".... The trees have grown back but the human emotional scars and grief remains, evidenced by fresh flowers and poignant words on the graves. Cemeteries are a great reminder to be kind and patient with the people who cross our path every day. We never know the sorrow, confusion, guilt or despair they are carrying in their hearts. Let's try not to add it. xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
09.01.2022 A BEAUTIFUL RESTING PLACE FOR A DEARLY LOVED HUSBAND AND FATHER It was glorious weather in Gippsland this weekend so I went bushwalking to the old weir in Mitchell River National Park. It's not a signed walk and it was a bit challenging in parts but it was worth it. On the Glenaladale Weir, which starting falling apart the year is was completed in 1893, is a beautiful memorial plaque to a husband and father. Before I spotted the plaque on the top of the weir I sat and wat...ched a wedge tail eagle soar on the upward thermals above. I then spotted the plaque which really resonated with me. "... my only regret is leaving you, just look to the birds, look to the trees, that's where I'll be." A beautiful resting place indeed. Tonight the Leadbetter family is in my thoughts, and is my mother, for she too is with the birds and the trees. xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
09.01.2022 I got swooped by a maggie in Glenmaggie Cemetery today! As I stood reading the lovely, heartfelt inscription on William Chester's grave I felt a wing brush my hair and heard a woosh. The protective magpie then made a beeline for the draped urn on the headstone I was admiring. Cemeteries are full of interesting stories. And flora and fauna! They're such special places.... xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
08.01.2022 COFFIN A PIECE OF ART How gorgeous! A friend popped into Tamborine Dreaming in SE Qld and noticed this beauty which had been commissioned by a death doula. It's a recycled cardboard coffin hand painted by Michelle Payne. "Beautiful!! We had a short chat with the lady and she was so happy to have a conversation about death and alternate options."... What a wonderful way to start a conversation about personalising the inevitable. xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
08.01.2022 THE TALES OF ORA BANDA CEMETERY. My favourite cemeteries are in the West Australian goldfields. The stories of the mostly men who lie there tell tales of pioneering hardships and offer glimpses of what life was like back then. And a warning, the reporting of their deaths was often quite graphic. For the next few days I'm going to introduce you to the residents of Ora Banda Cemetery, about 60km north of Kalgoorlie, 650km east of Perth.... WILLIAM WILLOCKS. DIED 1914. "A terrible accident, resulting in the death of a man named William Willocks occurred after 1pm at the Victorious mine. Willocks was engaged at a saw bench sawing up blocks when he somehow lost his hold on a piece of wood, which was held back with great force by the circular saw. It caught him full in the chest, stabbing his chest and also inflicting a bad gash to his throat. The unfortunate man retained consciousness for about 10 minutes, but with every possibility done for him he gradually sank, and died about an hour after the accident. Immediately they were made aware of the occurrence, the management dispatched a motor car to Broad Arrow for medical assistance and it was back in the mine with Dr Dedermen in 1 hour 23 minutes, but Mr Willocks was beyond aid. It is understood that the deceased was a married man and that he leaves a wife and several children who reside in Boulder. The children are four in number, mostly grown-up, the youngest being 13 years old. The deceased was about 55 years of age." As reported in the Kalgoorlie Miner newspaper, March 1914. Tomorrow we'll meet a fellow miner lying just a couple of graves away from William. xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
07.01.2022 GARDENIAN ANGELS : STRANGERS START WATERING GRAVE GARDEN AFTER SEEING PHOTOS I POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA How wonderful! I have an update on a post from a couple of weeks ago. Daryn Sibley discovered several ancestors in an unmarked grave in Brisbane's Toowong Cemetery and decided to make a garden to commemorate his family. ... (Full story in my blog: https://thebottomdrawerbook.blog//growing-a-garden-grave-/ ) I posted photos when he started the project. WELL!!!! Some people who regularly walk through the cemetery saw the photos and took it upon themselves to locate the grave and take water with them every time they go for their cemetery walk (a few times a week). This is the note Daryn sent me this weekend: "This afternoon I finished my grave garden and set off to explore other graves, when I saw three ladies stop at my garden and start watering with 2 litre containers of water they were carrying. I approached them and said, Thank you for watering my garden - they replied Is this your garden? My niece in Melbourne saw it on social media. Their niece had sent them a screenshot - and with a little help from some super sleuth cemetery-loving friends - they were able to pinpoint my garden plot! They have been taking water every day when they go walking, and have been stopping to water my plot plants! I was so thrilled to think that some fellow cemetery wanderers would take the time to visit and water, they were excited to hear about who they were visiting. So thank you to my Gardenian Angel’s. HOW COOL IS THAT!!! And doesn't the completed garden look great?! I'm stoked to hear that so many people will be caring for it. :) xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
07.01.2022 FLUSHING ASHES DOWN THE LOO Country singer Bill Chambers has this week spoken about flushing the ashes of good friend Audrey Auld down the toilet of a popular Tamworth music venue. And some of the remains of The Bobkatz' Garry Koehler are still making music, added to a shaker. The details are in my latest blog (below). What have you done with your loved ones' ashes? And what would you like done with yours?... xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au : Facebook
06.01.2022 THE COFFIN TREE The scars on this tree, not far from Maffra in Victoria's Gippsland, were made when bark was removed to make a coffin for little Eliza Amey. Sadly, the 12 month old drowned on a nearby farm in 1867. The Maffra Cemetery wasn't established then so Eliza was buried on a high point of the farm, just a couple of hundred metres away from this red gum. Her coffin was made of two sheets of bark from this tree.... In those early pioneering days Eliza's birth and death were not officially recorded. Thanks to the efforts of locals, she will be remembered. After spending the last two months of 'lock down' in Gippsland Victoria, this weekend I ventured out and found this tree. It's known locally as the coffin tree. x Lisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
06.01.2022 This was from 2013. I wonder where Gordon's ashes are now?
04.01.2022 LIFE THRIVING AMONGST THE DEAD AT SYDNEY'S WAVERLEY CEMETERY My two favourite things! Cemeteries and wildlife.
03.01.2022 CAPE OTWAY CEMETERY Many of the early light station keeper's families are buried here, along with shipwrecked sailors and settlers. The records show more burials than marked graves here. One of the graves reveals the harsh life in the 1800s. Two of the assistant lighthouse keeper's infant children are here, dying within 12 months of one another.
02.01.2022 Tomorrow night or Saturday arvo, sit on your couch, avoid the burrs and the flies, and take stroll with me through some of our most remote cemeteries. I'm hosting free online tours.
02.01.2022 The many bush cemeteries in the Western Australian goldfields are a goldmine of tales of pioneering hardship. This week we're exploring Ora Banda Cemetery, north of Kalgoorlie. WILLIAM WARES, DIED 1919 AGED 58. "Working with a mate Alf (Daffy) Parker at Williams old show at Paddy's Knob, Christmas patch, they were working in a shaft which had been sunk 235 foot and Wares was breaking out a sample when a fall of ground occurred and buried him. Parker who was considerably brui...sed freed his mate and found he was still alive. Parker went for help but on his return found where's had died in his absence. Mr Wares was one of two brothers, native of Scotland, who had been prospecting here for a number of years and was well-known and respected throughout the district. These brothers were twins. They worked as mates and camped together until the other twin James went to visit his sister who resides in Perth, on the account of ill-health, and remained there until about two months ago, when he was accidentally drowned while taking a bathe." As reported in the Kalgoorlie Miner, May 1919. How terrible for his sister! Losing two brothers in horrible accidents in a matter of months. Tomorrow we'll meet a miner who mysteriously didn't have his shoes on when he died. Or so the story goes... xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
02.01.2022 FACEBOOK CHANGES - I'm just testing sharing my blog. Facebook won't let me share it to a personal page though is allowing it here (PHEW). Would you mind seeing if Facebook allows you to share this and let me know in the comments? Thanks for your help. xLisa https://thebottomdrawerbook.blog//a-song-and-a-tattoo-the/
02.01.2022 ECO-BURIALS, HOME FUNERAL OPTIONS ON THE RISE AS CONSUMERS THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX via ABC News. Great to see a proposal for a natural burial ground on the NSW far south coast. Fiona McCuaig from Bodalla has lodged a development application to the Eurobodalla Shire Council to transform 20 hectares of cleared farmland into a conservation burial ground. Natural burials, or eco-burials, are not a new concept but this cemetery proposes bodies could be buried organically in the... ground with endemic flora with the primary purpose of regenerating native forest. NSW Funeral Directors' Association president, Michael Mackay, makes a interesting point though. It's going to be tricky for these natural burial grounds to remain viable in the long term. Conservation burial grounds remain less popular among consumers compared to traditional burials and cremation. "The problem is raising enough revenue to keep them going; it's not going to be a viable situation. "Usually there's a maintenance fund built into the purchase of a grave. The problem is people aren't taking these options up," he says. Read more: https://www.abc.net.au//eco-burial-grounds-and-ho/12262436 xLisa www.thebottomdrawerbook.com.au
01.01.2022 A very good read. "Now that theres no longer any way to treat my cancer, Ive been reflecting on what I want others to know about life and death."
