Accord Counselling Services in Boulder, Western Australia, Australia | Medical and health

Accord Counselling Services

Locality: Boulder, Western Australia, Australia

Phone: +61 407 643 008

Address: 26 North Terrace 6432 Boulder, WA, Australia

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25.01.2022 Question .. Is love a feeling or an action? Question .. Which comes first the feeling or the action? I am always surprised how many people answer to the first question is love is a feeling. No wonder people get into difficulty in relationships with such a basic premise being back to front. Then those same people will often answer to the next question is that love comes first and then the loving action. We shouldn't be that surprised at having these about face... Hollywood h...as been selling that rubbish for as long as movies have been around. The old love at first sight. The reason this is such an attractive fantasy is like any fantasy they seldom if ever happen, after all that's why they are fantasies ... right?!?!? When people say that tired old cliche that "I love them but I am not in love with them" oh boy I have to tell myself not to roll my eyes. When people complain of no longer loving their spouse I ask them "when was the last time you carried out a loving action towards your spouse?" Amazingly it usually corresponds precisely with the time they started "falling out of love with their spouse" You see the action comes first then the feeling will follow. If you don't do a loving act then no feeling of love will follow. Again think about the last time you felt really loved, I'll wager it was after you received a loving action from somebody. Example? Ok .. I am not feeling a lot of love for my wife at the time I buy the flowers for her, I feel a little obligated and I feel the expense of the purchase, but I do it because I know she will like it. Thinking of her and not myself. Then I give her the flowers (action) she lights up and hugs me and now I feel love (feeling) Also for her she may not have been feeling the feeling of love for me until I acted (action) then she as the recipient of a loving act feels loved and appreciated and the the feeling of love fills her heart and pours out and over my heart. If your struggling with a lack of love or as the song puts it a loss of "that loving feeling" then get busy with the loving acts. Get the focus off yourself (I am not feeling love) and start activity loving your spouse in a selfless fashion putting them first. I promise do the above with consistent persistence and the feelings of love will begin to return in direct proportion of the loving actions you are prepared to selflessly put out your spouses way.

24.01.2022 Counselling 101 ... The end

23.01.2022 What is the greatest thing any father can do for his children? LOVE THEIR MOTHER

21.01.2022 To have and to hold to love and to cherish for better for worse in sickness and in health for richer and poorer until death do us part... We hear these words so often and in every movie and all around at almost ever wedding we have probably said them ourselves if we are married. Yet how many people ever stop to ponder just what it actually means...what does it mean to be married?

18.01.2022 Imagine someone saying they love you in Russian but you only speak French both people love each other and tell each other but neither can understand or receive the intension of the message because they are speaking in different languages. Sounds cruel but couples are doing this all the time and it erodes good relationships. I completed the quiz www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ ... and no surprise here with a very high score of quality time. I was a little surprised to get a score of zero for gift giving. So if you want to show you love me and you want me to believe you, come spend time with me. When I spend time with you this is how I say I love you. If you get me a gift be prepared to share time as well or the gift will mean little. 11 Quality Time 8 Words of Affirmation 7 Physical Touch 4 Acts of Service 0 Receiving Gifts Quality Time In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

16.01.2022 My wife did the Love Language quiz and no surprises here for me I know her love language is Acts of Service and you may notice she scored as highly here as I did in Quality Time. The lesson I had to learn over the years was that if I want to have Quality Time with my lady I had better make sure that the lawn is mowed, the dishes are done and clothes washed and hung, dinner is on for the kids and the baby sitter is booked. All of this needs to happen first or that will distrac...t her and detract from my quality time. 11 Acts of Service 7 Physical Touch 5 Quality Time 4 Receiving Gifts 3 Words of Affirmation Acts of Service Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

16.01.2022 A couple of decades ago my marriage was almost over, my wife used a very delicate way of letting me know that she was at the end of her rope she said to me "Pick two of our four children, I'll take the other two, because I am leaving" Yes that got my attention and started me on a journey to "get better at this marriage thing" A common problem I find when counselling couples is that they are struggling to communicate, a lack of communication can be misinterpreted by our spouse... as a lack of caring and lead to a good deal of heart ache. One of the greatest tools I ever found that helped me to better understand my relationship is a book called the "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. This an "oldie but a goodie" Here is a link to do a quick test to see what your love language is I highly recommend you read this book if your interested in refilling your relationship "Love Bank" through effective heart to heart communication. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

13.01.2022 Getting counselling for marriage issues can be a dangerous mission and is fraught with traps. I get people all the time who are bitter and twisted with the experience of receiving poor counsel from counsellors regarding marriage advice. Here are a couple of points I would like to put out there to assist people in finding the right advice and the right counsellor for their needs. Disclaimer .... the following is based on my experiences and are mostly my opinion. Take it or lea...Continue reading

05.01.2022 Counselling 101 ... The end

01.01.2022 Divorce .. Yeah if only we could avoid it .. I get told by a lot of people "it's just one of those things you can't really do a lot about it" And then there the people who want tell you about how their divorce was inevitable usually it's the old cliche about how "they just grew apart" or "we are different people now" or my personal favourite "no point just staying together just for the kids" Well some of those points may or may not have merit but I don't really want to go t...Continue reading

01.01.2022 But I have a right to be happy...well not really, not if your married that is. That is just precisely the selfish attitude that starts heading marriage in the wrong direction. Yes marriage should be about two people being happy however it doesn't come from focusing on ourselves. To have and to hold in sickness and in health for richer for poorer for better for worse ..... Oops did we really say that " for worse " For most you would think not .. As soon as it gets worse they... are out the door sprouting ... But I have a right to be happy ... No you don't ... Not in the way you are thinking you don't. What you really promised in your vows was ... You surrendered your RIGHT to make yourself happy from that moment on. You promised to spend the rest of your life making your spouse happy forever more, for as long as you both shall live. See marriage is about all about only about making the other person happy. People who do this are the happiest people on the planet because they are doing it right. When you are making the other person happy you don't need to worry about your own happiness because they made the same promise and they are spending every waking moment of their day making you happy. Well at least that's how it's suppose to work. Try it out and see the results ... See more