Aspie Kids Academy in Upper Nerang, Queensland, Australia | Alternative & holistic health service

Aspie Kids Academy

Locality: Upper Nerang, Queensland, Australia

Phone: +61 423 215 098

Address: 2 Nerang Street 4211 Upper Nerang, QLD, Australia

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• Alternative & holistic health service
• Psychologist

22.01.2022 On Time... One of the baseline difficulties for us as Aspie’s is keeping track of time. So we end up being one or the other of these two types: 1. The Aspie who is always late. Who consistently underestimates the time things will take (accident). But, who also likes to preserve every possible precious minute they can for themselves and their own interests (intention) - i.e. pushes things to the very last minute every time! This Aspie already knows they will be late, even befo...re they are late, and feels powerless to do anything about it! 2. The Aspie who is always too early. Who has a chronic fear of their inbuilt tendency to underestimate time. This Aspie plans ahead as they absolutely DO NOT want to be late, but they waste a lot of their day checking and rechecking times/preparations and spending time in their car or wait rooms waiting for the other non-obsessive people to casually waltz in like the last 5 hours were not completely stressful for them. I do feel both issues begin at stage 1. With our common difficulty in just understanding the concept of analog time i.e. reading a clock. The clock is one of those objects in life that should logically make sense. We use it to mark points in our day that tell us what is happening NOW and when we will be doing something else. But, we should also be able to use it to connect to the lengths of those spaces in between: e.g. I’m at home and awake at 7:00am, I’m at school at 8:30am. There are 90 minutes in between wake and school. Each of my tasks takes up a piece of this time - a number of those minutes. And I know how long each activity takes. Therefore I can use my time effectively. I can even make sure I’ve got minutes left over, in case something doesn’t go well. We need a lot of teaching around this concept of how to use time well. But first, we need help being able to look at a clock and know what it is telling us about the spaces in between... A client of mine who has been struggling with time used this video and found that, with this slight adjustment in instructions on how to tell time, they could: a) suddenly grasp what the clock was telling them the time was, and b) use their new and logical understanding of the clock to get themselves ready on time for school. Of course this only works if they actually want to be at school (or any activity)! Or if there’s some other incentive attached to showing they can get themselves to a place on time (eg a mini chocolate bar gets added to the lunch box at the school gate). But the point is my client could understand length of time and how to use the minutes in between. I love it when clients teach me about tools. Thanks Jeni! I might be on time to the office now! Oh... but I do still have 2-4 kids on any given day . Happy time keeping! Kyra xx

21.01.2022 Below are a series of some of the face book posts that follow my story, from December 2014 to January 2019. I have never shared the details of this outside of my private life, but I wanted to share it now, as many of you have been part of this journey with me, whether you knew you were or not . You trusted me with the health of your children during this time, and helped to build my confidence, so that I could fight for the health of mine. I will never ever doubt the strength that lies within a parent of a child with a disability. You are stronger and more ready for the next challenge than you know you are. Trust me! My family are still on the medical road, but it’s nothing like it was back then. I’ve come out the other side with some post-traumatic stress for sure, but with some super powers as well.

19.01.2022 ASD & SAD As we make our way through the second half of winter, after we have already weathered so much this 2020, I have become curious about the link between ASD & Seasonal Affective Disorder (like a depressive episode linked to a change in season). Winter time always affected one of my family members, who was later in life diagnosed with SAD, and has since taken steps to manage it. Yet another example of someone already KNOWING something is wrong for them, but not being f...ully equipped to DO something about it without the LABEL. We need to embrace the clarity that comes with a label. It’s nothing to fear. Go get yourself a label maker and feel the power! Anyway... I’m curious because of the systems linked to SAD: changes in melatonin production (sleep chemical; and precursor to dopamine - happy chemical) & serotonin (another happy chemical). We Aspies often have a problem with the imbalance of these chemicals - think ADHD and the need for stimulants, and the reduction of dopamine over time. Also, we often experience sensitivities: too much emotion, the world experienced as trauma, the often hypo or hyper awareness of stimulus (one being heat or cold!). There’s not much out there on this that I can find to scientifically validate a link, but we are all scientists when we observe the day to day changes in our kids and consider all sources. The point is... much like noise, texture, touch, heat, fluro lighting or someone who’s standing too close, winter may be affecting your kids moods, without them having much control over it. Outside time really helped to Iift my spirits this weekend - the heat of the sun and the blue skies. If you’re the same, it may be time to get back into some of those spring/summer activities and try to trick your brain into thinking the long winter of 2020 is over!

17.01.2022 For lego obsessed Aspie Kids... the bed may not be better up top after all. A lego mezzanine means no mess on the floor. It means projects can remain half built without being ruined by toddlers. It means complete control of who is invited into that space and for how long! Also, it means the bed can be close to the floor and in a cave-like spot. It’s the best of both worlds. Aspie kids get creative!

17.01.2022 Don’t forget to slow your Aspie kids transitions down if you need to. The promise of early pickups for the first week back at school can make all the difference to their headspace when heading back into a big first week back, where the breaks are smaller, and fewer than they have grown accustomed to. Yes they are fine while they are there, but the meltdowns might be less coming home if they know you’ve got their back this week. Hope your first day was manageable. ... Archer: when being collected at 2:00pm with an art project to finish at home... I’m sorry I cried before school mum. Did I hurt your ears? (No not at all! Just my poor ol’ heart!)

15.01.2022 Please be gentle on your Aspie kids and yourselves at this time. I have observed an increase in suicidal and self harm thoughts popping up in clients, and though I am grateful that my clients are trusting me with these thoughts, it does make me worry about how many may not be sharing. Lifeline counsellors will tell you that the research says it’s okay to ask: have you ever had thoughts of hurting yourself, or have you ever had thoughts of suicide? Especially if you see any c...hanges in your child or other loved ones that concern you. I was listening to a neuroscience study on the importance of tuning in to our gut. Apparently that off feeling is often a result of the mountain of data our minds have taken in, but not been completely consciously aware of. Those signs that something is wrong or different may not be noticed in our busy day, but a gut feeling that your child needs extra cuddles may be a sign of something that your subconscious mind has taken note of. You can always leave a few kids helpline printouts around, just incase your Aspie kids or teens want to test out how it feels to share their thoughts, or get some help with how to script what they want to say from someone they don’t have to look at, who doesn’t know them and can’t judge them. These are trained support people who know what to say to help your kids through the tough times alongside you. And parents... call lifeline. Try not to sit and dwell on thoughts that would be better worked through with someone else. Please take care all https://kidshelpline.com.au https://www.lifeline.org.au/about/contact-us/

15.01.2022 Goodluck lil Aspie preps and ones who are starting back at school on Monday for the first time in weeks! Our littlest learners might not be talking about starting back at school, or the nerves they are feeling. But... they will be showing lots of other escalated behaviours eg: - repetitive safe questions that they know the answers to, - stimming/noises/movements that feel good and give nerves... - regressive behaviours like forgetting to take themselves to the toilet. Just because you are not talking about starting back at school, doesn’t mean they’re not thinking about it. Talking about it can help our preps/ones start to link their behaviours to underlying feelings (that are completely normal right now) and even begin to put the right words to those emotions I’m just really nervous about school on Monday. Coming up with a mantra (essentially brain washing ) can help to add some of YOUR words (internal voice) into their internal dialogue, and hopefully alter the way they are mentally preparing for school. Let’s talk about what will be different (the school won’t be as full yet) what will be the same (your teacher will still meet you at the door and you will still start the day on the mat). And let’s talk about how anxiety will show up, that that is totally okay. That they might even scream and cry the first day, and that is okay too. But, try to talk about why all this pain and discomfort is worth it... because our teachers and friends have missed us, and our teachers have missed their job of teaching and we need to be brave so that they don’t miss out on teaching! Teacher’s want your brain to grow and get stronger, and they are the experts, not us parents . Goodluck everybody. Happy school uniform Sunday! Xx

14.01.2022 A client asked me just recently how I stay so calm in my busy life. I am definitely no saint and absolutely have my moments. But I do have a busy life, and tend to stay mostly level headed, so I answered that I thought it was my training in a therapeutic technique ACT that actually helped me flip my own anxiety on its head. That and age, but mostly ACT . I have completed introductory workshops, advanced workshops, and targeted workshops by Russ Harris, and I never get sick o...f listening to his voice! Tonight a colleague of mine, after reading a book I had lent her, told me about the below workshop by Russ Harris that is on sale right now. These 2 events were only separated by a week, so I am taking this as a sign and recommending this workshop to you all. It’s probably going to be the single best emotion regulation tool you ever come across, and if you know and use this language then you and I can talk to your kids about emotions from the same standing point. Not only that, Russ has this way of making you feel nurtured and just makes confusing things like emotions make sense, and for us Aspies that is priceless! https://thehappinesstrap.com/8-week-program/

13.01.2022 Early learning for the Aspie who dominates talk-time... The need to teach our kids how to do back-and-forth mealtime conversations starts early. That lunch box may just still be full, not because they were not hungry, but because they were monologuing or entertaining a bit too much . [Different teaching required for the Aspie who says nothing at all.] It’s important to talk about this conversation thing and to check in about it regularly. ... We could just say: oh they’re just the quiet one or they’re just the funny loud chatty one But... that isn’t really fair. Our kids often don’t know the other ways to be in conversations. They may never get a chance to practice and to acquire those complex conversation skills that come to their peers more naturally if it’s not explicitly talked about. Let’s give them the option to use these skills later to maintain relationships, if they so choose. We could just say: you need to eat your lunch. But... they will likely dismiss this or de prioritize this because but mum doesn’t understand, I just don’t have time for that, I’m trying to keep people/me happy. We can teach that back-and-forth conversation is what keeps people happy and, in the long run, them as well. I love open funny conversations about when someone has reached their talking quota at the dinner table. Or fun pictures or pieces of equipment that show balance in conversation and what it looks like when it’s achieved vs when one person is talking all the time. Or talking stick type devices that have to keep moving around a dinner table. Keeping the development of this skill open and fun is key.

11.01.2022 On Emotion Recognition and Regulation... Whatever emotional challenges face you as we begin our 2021 I’m with you. My medically complex 5-year-old was in hospital for 4 days at the end of 2020 with the resurfacing of a previous health issue we did not see coming. A month on, we are waiting for the operation that will allow him to safely eat orally again and breathe normally again. ... His distress is my distress. When he suffers I suffer with him, and my suffering is sometimes felt as anger (those poor doctors!). But because his suffering (cries, panic screams, erratic behaviours, unreasonable requests) are due to medically obvious issues, it’s easy for me to hold back and not direct my anger at him (i.e. the why are you doing this can’t you just stop being silly sort of responses). There are many things in this world, however big or small, visible or not, that will trigger suffering in your Aspie Kid. Then their reactions can trigger an emotional response in you, sometimes anger. If this happens all logic and reasoning goes out the window. Because their suffering becomes your suffering, and pain in you triggers fight or flight. In that moment the best you can do with your emotional reaction to their suffering is try to pause the fight/flight response in you. It’s better to say/yell I’m having a painful emotional reaction to your yelling/ignoring/running away and my body feels like it’s going to explode with anger! Then to try to fight the problem that’s it you’re grounded for a year! Or I’m throwing your iPad in the bin! Let’s teach our kids what happens in our body when we absorb someone else’s distress. In this way, we can also hopefully teach them to notice distress in their body and name what is happening Mum, I’m having an angry reaction in my body to having to stop playing (link in to thinking brain) instead of I hate you mum (controlled by emotional brain). It does not matter how big their reactions are, or that it triggers something in you. What matters is the reflection that comes with it. If your kids reactions make you feel that anger in your body 50 times in a day, that’s 50 opportunities for building understanding about human response to the world, and the complexity of emotion regulation. Don’t miss those opportunities. We can teach kids by example that we should step up and take responsibility for our own emotional responses. No matter who or what triggered them. Hug your kids tight this week (or your version of this that is comfortable for them and you) and congratulate them/yourselves for their/your hard work last year, and let’s be better emotionally aware and prepared for 2021.

07.01.2022 Client quote of the week: Lying is rarely essential Teen Female Aspie

07.01.2022 [Language Warning] I don’t normally reference YouTube clips here, as they are not my personal experiences or work. But... this would be THE perfect summary clip to send to every teacher who has misunderstood your Aspie child’s reasoning in the classroom. Too often does the highly engaged and motivated ASD child accidentally become labeled as the class clown or troublemaker. It REALLY is unintentional... in the beginning anyway. Until they get fed up of trying and failing to ...explain themselves. With the language warning applied, I showed this to my almost 14-year-old step daughter, who was in shock with the realization that she really is not alone, and that others have experienced EXACTLY what she is experiencing I never understand why people are laughing at my questions. I try to say ‘I’m serious guys.’ Then I don’t ask my questions because I don’t want to get into trouble. I really hope your young people can continue to ask those out-of-the-box questions that make people think about things differently. Maybe when others understand us more, those questions can be received differently: wow! I love the way your Aspie mind works! I would never have seen things that way. Here’s hoping! https://youtu.be/5lXbpgU9OWk Thanks Leanne for finding this.

07.01.2022 Client quote of the week: Asperger’s is my armour! Explanation: Autism makes this young lady strong, direct, honest and she does pull the ASD card out whenever she feels it will help others to get her reactions. Learning from my wise teen aspies

06.01.2022 When your Aspie kids are driving you crazy this week, being extra moody and sensitive and reactive because of all the changes... don’t forget to follow your reprimands and redirections with a gentle I love youWhen your Aspie kids are driving you crazy this week, being extra moody and sensitive and reactive because of all the changes... don’t forget to follow your reprimands and redirections with a gentle I love you

06.01.2022 On Reading Body Signals... and not dressing like you’re from the North Pole in Summer I don’t like to encourage my fellow aspies to do too much comparing themselves to others, but a change of season is one time where it might be good to look around and check what everyone else is doing. I remember a colleague of mine once told me that she would have her mum call her when it was time to put jumpers on her kids . Smart! In all seriousness, I would encourage you to monitor what... is going on with your body signals, and if you see that they are off (and there’s likely not a lot you can do to switch them on), it might be necessary to put some systems in place. - Have someone call you when it’s past a certain temperature. - Set alarms on your watch to use the bathroom regularly or to drink water or to put moisturizer/lip balm on. - Write a checklist of self care tasks that you do before you get on that gaming device. - Maintain good routines that don’t miss ANY check boxes. - Talk to someone you know to get an understanding of what their self care routine looks like then modify it to suit you. When you find the systems that work for you you can be more targeted and give personal examples when exploring these with your kids. So there are no excuses to neglect yourself parents. Your kids’ health depends on it. That’s a really good reason to self care!

05.01.2022 Client quote of the week: regarding the emotion jealousy. So many kids feel like that. It’s the most pointless emotion. (11-year-old boy)... This logical reasoning about an emotion that does sometimes cause more harm than good, is a great example of how kids with ASD often struggle to understand the complex issues occurring behind bullying behaviours. They just don’t make any sense... E.g. But why feel like that? What’s the point? Sort of thinking. I just love the places their reasoning can go!