Damian Callinan Comedian | Comedian

Damian Callinan Comedian

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25.01.2022 THE ROOSTERS ARE INTO THE GRAND FINAL! - With the help of the sympathetic Uploots, the human population associated with the Caxton Valley Australian Football League manage to escape the war torn planet of Greshloot 7, thanks to a diversion created by stars from the Australian soap 'A Country Practice.' As they return to Earth through a portal to the township of Mutton Gully, they find that they are unable to play their finals series due to current pandemic restrictions in Victoria. However, by using the time portals they discover that they can play the finals in historical times & places that are unaffected by strict, but necessary heath based, behavioural rules. The Roosters adapted well to playing in the olden days & have booked themselves a date for the big dance. Go Roosters! https://bodgycreekcommunitypodcast.com/?p=158

25.01.2022 Breaking News!! - Trump sacks all but one of his treating doctors at Walter Reed Hospital.

25.01.2022 Despite being bed ridden for most of her early adult life, Harriet Furlong would prolifically write songs about her favourite subject: her beloved Bodgy Creek R...oosters Football Club. Talented as she was, the ribald nature of the songs, saw them rarely sung publically. Below are the lyrics to one her more controversial tributes to Full Back Fred '3 Legs' Hanlon If you head on down to Bodgy Creek You'll spy a Rooster on your way He'll likely have his strides undone And his todger on display Don't slow down to see the show Just give him a wave & a toot He may be gifted down below, but he's also a lousy coot It's in proportion & a decent size And no-one in town will dispute But if his eyes widen & it starts to rise It's time for you to scoot When you get home later that day Folk will no doubt want to know Just tell them you saw a poultry display That could take out the Easter Show

24.01.2022 Get over to Sunday afternoons on ABC Digital to year Mel Buttle yarn to all of these legends with empty Sunday’s. I’m on at 5pm AEST (Sep 27)

22.01.2022 AFL doubles down on plans to not pay dancers at the Grand Final. Bulldogs & Eagles players issued with spandex unitards & told to not make holiday plans yet.

20.01.2022 https://www.facebook.com/watch/

20.01.2022 Jane Austen’s Melbourne Pandemic Chronicles #1 ‘Mama! I have only now heard the splendid news from Dr Sutton, that should the malady numbers continue to fall, I may, as an unwedded spinster, once more visit the estate of Miss Bingley at Basildon Park. If we were to meet upon the gardens, and not frequent the manor house, I could perhaps also venture to take Mary, Jane & Catherine. The hour may not exceed 2 & the number of the party may not exceed 5. ’Tis to be a masked reunion, of that there can no equivocation: Dr Sutton is quite firm on the matter. Mama, I must insist that Lydia not be privy to our plans. Her fickleness is notorious & she would likely take flight with the nearest hipster that did pass by our entourage in pursuit of an errant toss of the frisbee.’

20.01.2022 Continue the end of season winning theme by voting for the Bodgy Creek Community Podcast in the People’s Choice Award. https://australianpodcastawards.com/vote

19.01.2022 It was traditional in the Theodore Raynard's family for the males to be married in the deep sea diver suit first worn by his grand father George Raynard in 1851.... His father, also a deep sea diver, had followed suit in 1879. Despite not being a deep sea diver and in fact never once even entering the ocean, Theodore carried on the family tradition in 1910 when marrying his Bodgy Creek childhood sweetheart Fanny Gorrange. This is the last known photo of Theodore. Unused to supporting so much weight, he sadly broke his neck during the bridal waltz and died instantly. www.bodgycreekcommunitypodcast.com

19.01.2022 Keep up to date with the wanderings of Damian Callinan with this mostly, occasionally, infrequently kept up to date gig guide. http://damiancallinan.com.au/gig-guide/

18.01.2022 @melbcomedyfestival & @audible_au launch Plot Twist today. Hosted by @thenikkibritton & featuring comedians from all over the world. My episode also includes @eleanortiernan @susie_youssef & @edmundperfect & unashamedly explores dolphin sex tourism.

18.01.2022 There is still plenty of work to do to turn things around in Melbourne, so I've moved up to Stage 11 restrictions. I can ONLY drink while being chased by a rodeo clown eat while being watched by a Clydesdale exercise with the Bronte Sisters wash in a hotel lobby water feature... watch unedited school concert videos on playback buy things previously owned by a town planner have conversations with jockeys in saunas on Skype ... read the room ... wear myself out #damiancallinansselfisolationtips #damiancallinanselfimposedstagerestrictions See more

17.01.2022 In the wake of our air chat about wine casks last week, I'll chatting with Mel Buttle on ABC Digital about the Aussiest inventions ever at 5pm AEST [August 29th]. Listen in on ... https://radio.abc.net.au/stations/local_brisbane/live

16.01.2022 TECH WARNING! Just a heads up that the Cosmic Dust Bunnies managed to sneak in & impact the first upload of Episode 12. If you downloaded it early, there are glitches around the 36-40 minute mark. It has all been sorted now.

15.01.2022 The Fiblup 14 made it, but it was a ... https://bodgycreekcommunitypodcast.com/?p=147

13.01.2022 For the good of my fellow Melburnians, I've personally gone up a notch to Stage 9 restrictions. I can ONLY ... eat fish tank flakes; drink fluids in puddle form; wear cut out Butterick clothing patterns; Zoom with cloistered orders of Trappist Cistercian Monks during their hours of silent observance; exercise in the pots cupboard; interact on social media through Linked In; watch archival CCTV footage of low diplomatic tension border crossings; read glovebox car manuals & make purchases at the Miracle of Knock Online Catholic Gift Shop. #damiancallinansselfisolationtips #damiancallinanselfimposedstagerestrictions

13.01.2022 With the roadmap to normal laid out for Melburnians by the hard working Dan Andrews & Brett Sutton, Damo is showing his commitment to recovery by moving to Stage 13 Restrictions. I can ONLY drink things spilt by multiple home owners eat Andrew Bolt’s birthday cake exercise in the boot of the car watch dash cam footage from decommissioned taxis ... walk on sticky surfaces read over people shoulders communicate to my family through lawyers Shower on Facebook Live shop using a drone sleep in a Jim's Mowing trailer #damiancallinansselfisolationtips #damiancallinanselfimposedstagerestrictions See more

11.01.2022 Thanks to our eagle eyed fan and star extra, Peter Simpfendorfer, for pointing out that 'The Merger' is playing on Channel 10, this Saturday, November 21st after the Rugby International between Australian & Argentina. At least one underdog will win on the night.

11.01.2022 I'm hosting this night of home spun mirth tomorrow night [September 26th] The line up is brilliant & includes Josh Earl Comedian, Ben Knight, Michelle Brasier, Diana Nguyen & Kirsty Webeck. Trent McCarthy is also doing bit & all proceeds go to his Greens campaign for the Darebin Council Elections. I haven't told Trent yet, but our place is the Labor Party campaign office, so I may have to move a few things out of my Zoom shot. See you there-ish!

08.01.2022 To help move the pandemic recovery along in Melbourne, I have graduated myself to Stage 10 restrictions. So far, so good - I can ONLY drink sap straight from the trunk of Japanese Maples; eat the ‘do not eat’ silica sachets in food packaging; wear 1992 Barcelona Olympic Games volunteer uniforms; exercise during earth tremors; communicate via a left handed spiritual medium; watch community television reflected off another surface; listen to poetry recordings read by Daleks; read propaganda pamphlets dropped from a crop duster & dream about sea lions playing Uno with the Pope on a river barge. #damiancallinansselfisolationtips #damiancallinanselfimposedstagerestrictions

07.01.2022 Jane Austen’s Melbourne Pandemic Chronicles #2 ‘Mr Darcy, I must implore you to intercede on behalf of our family. If word were to permeate beyond the walls of Longbourn House, that my troublesome sister Lydia planned to nominate Mr Wycombe as her intimate partner, our family would be irreparably scandalised. You were right to question his character and I beg forgiveness in doubting the nobility of your intention. The man is a scoundrel and worthy only of the company of his s...ingle bubble. Perhaps you would grant me the honour of taking a turn around the gardens of Pemberley, so that we might delineate a plan to bring his villainy to heel. Dr Sutton has assented approval of such social engagements, as long as the parties involved remain outdoors and maintain a constant distance of 4.92 feet for the period of the perambulation. What say you Mr Darcy? Alas, I find your mien difficult to read behind your herringbone, tweed mask.’ #JaneAustensMelbournePandemicChronicles

07.01.2022 Great news! The Bodgy Creek Roosters away team rooms are finally finished. No more changing in their cars for the visiting teams. While you're here, if you are ...a fan of the podcast, we'd be much obliged if you could pop over to iTunes & leave us a rating & or review. https://podcasts.apple.com//bodgy-creek-commu/id1504999129

07.01.2022 This was heaps of fun!

07.01.2022 Very excited to have the team from the brilliant sci-fi comedy podcast Night Terrace record a guest a cameo in our latest episode of Bodgy Creek Community Podcast. Thanks Benjamin McKenzie & Petra Elliott. I owe you a bottle of Sparkling Frongtignac Port for all of your hard work Ben. Look out for the new season of Night Terrace on BBC4 in November. https://bodgycreekcommunitypodcast.com/?p=158

06.01.2022 Jane Austen’s Melbourne Pandemic Chronicles #3 'Mama, our minds mind are quite made up on the matter. Mr Darcy is indeed a most agreeable gentleman of noble intention, kindly disposition & exemplary standing. He has made clear how ardently he loves & admires me, and I have conveyed the reciprocation of my affections in the most emphatic terms. However, we are in agreement that, until such time as government restrictions on weddings are eased, we shall not engage in a nuptial ...ceremony. An outdoor wedding with numbers limited to 5 simply will not do. I know Jane Austen novels always end with the female protagonist blissfully entering holy matrimony, but on this occasion the reader will have to settle with Miss Eliza Bennett moving into Pemberley with Mr Darcy in a de facto circumstance. I believe that the unchecked contagion that has beset the counties, will mitigate any lingering scandal. You & papa will be most welcome to visit once the ban on non-essential travel beyond 3.11 miles has been lifted.' #JaneAustensMelbournePandemicChroniclesJane Austen’s Melbourne Pandemic Chronicles #2 See more

06.01.2022 It looks like we may be heading for some easing of restrictions in Melbourne, so I’ve taken the foot off the pedal to some degree. In stage 16, I can now allow my butler out of his cryogenic pod shop at the DFO in Narnia stop pruning my family tree remove the Confederate statues from the south lawn... find a use for the second billiard room acknowledge I’m not a Crimean War Correspondent on leave shift the world HQ of the International Baccalaureate from Geneva to the good room resume researching a cure to awkward conversations decant my memories to remove the sentiment finally have my gap year stop stockpiling toilets take over as Comte at Chateau d’Yquem buy the rest of Eton College stop shitting in Tupperware find some chairs to match the Atherton Tablelands release the badminton umpires from their greenhouse desex the gorgon in the ornamental lake #damiancallinansselfisolationtips #damiancallinanselfimposedstagerestrictions See more

06.01.2022 It's 'International Listen to the Bodgy Creek Community Podcast Day' today. Here's what to do! Locate the podcast in your favourite app - iTunes & Spotify are t...he easiest. It's free to listen. Click subscribe & start listening either at the beginning or at whatever episode you are up to. Big thanks to the 'Made Up 'International Day' program for including us in this initiative. See more

05.01.2022 I was just thinking the other day, that no-one has suffered more this year than property investors with interests in heritage hotels in the slums of Sorrento. Finally the High Court is being used to focus on real injustice.

05.01.2022 BREAKING NEWS!!! - Due to the unforeseen outbreak of civil war on the Planet of Greshloot 7, this week's episode of the Bodgy Creek Community Podcast will not b...e released until Monday, September 28th, by which time things may have settled down enough to complete Round 13 in the Caxton Valley Football League. We apologise for any inconvenience. See more

05.01.2022 With numbers of positive cases still loitering around the 3 figure mark in Melbourne, it’s time to do the right thing & move into Stage 12 restrictions. I can ONLY drink while receiving an Australia Post delivery eat whilst doing a Zoom Pilates session wear clothes from a primary school lost property box exercise in known magpie swoop zones ... put the bins out whilst being tasered Skype with the ghosts of Olympians who came 4th watch chest cam footage from off duty police dance whilst receiving bad news buy 2020 calanders career pivot in a storage cage read the riot act See more

03.01.2022 'I don't care what I said about them being suckers & losers, take me to the William Reed Military Hospital!' #trumphascorona

03.01.2022 It's not going to save the planet from the imminent forces of climate change, but nonetheless we'd love it if you could vote for us in the People's Choice Award... in the Australian Podcast Awards. We'd be up for more gongs if we hadn't found out about the awards on the day submissions closed. https://australianpodcastawards.com/vote See more

03.01.2022 At 11.59pm tonight, there will be a couple of tweaks to Stage 4 Restrictions in Melbourne, with curfew extended by an hour & single people having to clean their house for the first time in 2 months. To mark this slight easing of conditions, I’m also going to pull back on some of my self-imposed restrictions. From midnight onwards for Stage 14, I can now run on the treadmill without wearing flippers use the shower when the water is running acknowledge that I cast shadows... donate my organs after I pass away stop trying to join the Latvian Army wear both legs of my trousers ... answer my phone turn on power points with body parts other than my tongue walk down, rather throw myself down stairs buy products from a real supermarket, rather than empty packaging from the pretend supermarket in my blanket fort sing songs other than the Latvian national anthem cancel my NSW National Party membership ... stop confessing to war crimes in the Crusades open the lid on the toilet remove my tent embassy from outside the Latvian Consulate ... finally admit that I didn't have a brief relationship with Joan of Arc when I was at Uni take the television out of it's packaging use my frequent flyer points #damiancallinansselfisolationtips #damiancallinanselfimposedstagerestrictions

02.01.2022 Caxton Valley League Boundary Umpire Induction circa 1949 www.bodgycreekcommunitypodcast.com

01.01.2022 Twas very fun to be involved in this exciting co-project with the Melbourne International Comedy Festival & Audible. Hosted by Nikki Britton & featuring comedians from all over the world, each episode unfurls as the comics, given only a couple hours to respond, try to extrapolate on the previous chapter. My story features Eddie Perfect, Eleanor Tiernan, Susie Youssef & Shenoah Allen [Pyjama Men] & involves dolphin sex workers, zombie historians & compromised local elections. https://www.audible.com.au//Audible-Presents-M/B08LDV8WVR