Iso Trip Advisor | Satire/Parody
Iso Trip Advisor
Phone: +61 475 829 794
Reviews
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25.01.2022 Iso Trip-Advisor Review- My Main Bathroom Oft referred to as the Jewel of the Upstairs I must confess the allure of the Main Bathroom has always seemed oversold to me. The popularity of this destination has always served to make me suspicious that it was a destination offering more Sparkle than Substance and tragically that assessment was proven right on my latest adventure. It was clear from the moment I set foot on its much talked about sand coloured tile that this was ...every bit the tourist trap I had always feared. Certainly the famous bathtub is a true wonder and unique, being the only one in my current traveling radius, however the cookie-cutter, made for Joe Public surrounds, serve to detract, not enhance this rare wonder. Its rows of soaps, glass jars of cotton balls and candles are all clear indicators that this area is trying too hard to be something it isn’t. Perhaps the most obvious sign that there is little here that isn’t set up to extract the dollars from the pockets of the wannabe jetset and Instagram influencers, is the individual ceramic letters on the shore of the bath that spell the word WASH. A Photo Opportunity as tacky as holding up the holding the Hollywood sign. Sure, on the surface the Main Bathroom has all the amenities one would expect: Tiles, a glass encased shower and a vanity basin, but it is overblown and lacks the authentic experience offered by the lesser known Ensuite just a short stroll away. Indeed, its Excess of Excess makes one pine for the elegant simplicity and quaint charm of the Downstairs Powder room. The single authentic experience available for the true adventure traveller requires some seeking out, but if you can find the time I do recommend it. Exploring the ancient wonders of The cupboard under the sink offers a rare reprieve from its tackier surrounds and offers one a sense the true essence of what this destination once was, before its gauche gentrification. When exploring the cupboard, Its hard not to be overcome with reverence for this places rich history. This traveller was moved to awed contemplation as this place enveloped and shared its mysteries with me. In its quiet nooks and crannies, One cannot help but contemplate powerful questions that we may never have an answer to like what those old batteries are doing there and What does that Lid belong to? Accommodations in the area are few and lacklustre at best. You do have the opportunity to stay right In the heart of the action, actually inside the bathtub, but this experience is best endured if one has overindulged on tequila sufficiently to forget it the next day. All in all, if you are looking for a soul-less, commercialised, cookie cutter experience for your next holiday, then by all means look no further, but for this traveler- once was MORE than enough
10.01.2022 Iso Trip advisor review: My Garage The minute I set foot in my garage, with its vast planes of sumptuous concrete, i knew i was in for a spectacular holiday. Quietly nestled at the foothills of my hallway and just a quick jaunt away to the scenic wonders of the Kitchen. More than meets the eye, this quaint, kerbside paradise has so much to offer. From the historical site of ancient shoes, gently bespeckled in the world-reknowned dust, unique to the local area to the vast wond...ers of the garden implements, there is truly something for everyone. The more adventurous traveler will delight in the "cupboard of the bottles with faded labels"- a cornucopia of delights where the adventure lies in whether they clean something, belong in a garden bed or could be the perfect final ingredient in your most memorable holiday cocktail. When it comes time to relax, the garage offers a range of options for the weary traveller, suitable for all budgets. For the budget conscious traveler, the "cardboard that wouldn't fit in the bin last week" offers a cheap and cheerful option to rest and recover for the adventures of the next day. If luxe travel is what you're after, look no further than the "queen size blow up mattress that never made it to the spare room". This deluxe experience that combines the ultimate indulgence of inflatable vinyl, with the wellness benefits of factory made felt-like material and is sure to satisfy the fussiest of travelers. All in all, this traveler cannot sing the praises of the garage enough. From start to finish, it's easy to see why adventurers all over the globe refer to this as the "Cannes of Concrete" - 4.5 stars
08.01.2022 Iso Tripadvisor Review- My Laundry Sometimes you just need to break away from the humdrum banality of your work-a-day world and embrace true adventure. Throw off the shackles of the 9 to 5 rat-race and connect with your inner wild being. Truly there is no greater place to engage with your primal spirit than the Laundry. While geographically it is placed several arduous steps from the more well-beaten paths of the living room and the resplendent creature comforts available f...or visitors in the well patronised kitchen, the magnificence of the Laundry on first glimpse will quickly wash away any memories of the perilous journey. It isn’t hyperbole to say that the awe and wonder this destination inspires will leave even the most hardnosed and cynical traveller’s jaw agape upon their arrival. The visual feast of the famed clothing piles rising majestically against the sweeping planes of cleaning products sets a stirring in one’s soul bringing a sense of peace and true connection to this hallowed ground. As one explores further into the myriad bleaches, cleansers and stain removers the electric sense of the adventure on offer will no doubt send tingles of primal electricity through any wanderluster lucky enough to find themselves here. Travelers will find themselves spoiled for choice with so many options for things to see and do- there is no excuse to be bored! The more daring traveller will no doubt their kicks with the sorting clothing experience which combines all the excitement of handling fabric with thrill of recognising colours. Those seeking a change of pace from the natural wonder and thrillseeking, will delight in the Upturned mop bucket in sink an artistic and cultural phenomenon showcasing the burgeoning local art scene. Accommodation options abound from the ultra-luxe, ultra-plush pile of sauce-stained woollens we haven’t bought woolwash for yet to the rustic and practical Ironing board, the latter of which is this travellers recommendation as there is very little time for sleep with so much on offer. The singular drawback of this world-class destination is the discovery in some of its more further reaches of empty bottles of fabric softner that haven’t been thrown out yet. The confronting carelessness and suggestions of softness are ominous signs of a push toward gentrification and indeed a softening of this wild and rugged destination. This should be eschewed at all costs. This place must remain untamed and unfettered by the banal for it to retain its ferocious soul and ensconce itself within the souls of travellers for years to come- 4.5 stars.
