Joanne Murray Counselling, Psychotherapy & Training in Lithgow, New South Wales | Medical and health

Joanne Murray Counselling, Psychotherapy & Training

Locality: Lithgow, New South Wales

Phone: +61 407 263 077

Address: 50 Main Street 2790 Lithgow, NSW, Australia

Website: http://jomurray.com.au

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24.01.2022 No matter the topic or experience... #educators #discipline #students #newlensfordiscipline #coregulation #appliededucationalneuroscience #school #trauma #dysregulation

24.01.2022 "If you feel safe and loved, your brain becomes specialized in exploration, play, and cooperation; if you are frightened and unwanted, it specializes in managing feelings of fear and abandonment." Bessel van der Kolk #neurochild #brainscience #traumainformed

24.01.2022 "Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and sat...isfying lives." Bessel Van Der Kolk For this year’s World Mental Health Day, let’s consider safe connections as a mission for positive mental health. https://www.who.int//world-me/world-mental-health-day-2020 #neurochild #connection #WorldMentalHealthDay

24.01.2022 Have you seen this iceberg metaphor before? Its such a good one! Much of our childrens challenging behaviour has less to do with the behaviour were seeing..., and more to do with the big emotions theyre feeling below the surface. I want to help you to help your children manage their BIG emotions. Join me on Monday 7th September for this FREE webinar https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/freebies/big-feelings/ Image credit The Gottman Institute

22.01.2022 Gentle reminder . . @howhumansheal

22.01.2022 Today is RU OK Day. If you want to talk to someone about how you feel in Australia you can call: Lifeline 131114 Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 Mens Helpline 1300 789 979 1800 Respect 1800 737 732... Womens Crisis Line 1800 811 811 Mental Health 1800 no 1800 011 512 Kids Helpline 1800 551 800 See more

21.01.2022 This is beautiful, every time I see it I like it more...

21.01.2022 This is really good, the Royal Melbourne Hospital Choir... Ill Stand By You, very appropriate on RU OK Day 2020...

20.01.2022 Quote of the Day

20.01.2022 Play helps childrens brains grow Play also plays a big part in helping children regulate their emotions. Using play to resolve tension and difficult behav...iour doesnt mean your rewarding or giving in to children. It means your responding the part of the brain that needs to be regulated. Regulate Relate Reason The 3 Rs are so useful in supporting children. First we need to help regulate a child control Center, by offering water, playing with them, nurturing touch... then relate to them. Let them know its ok to feel this way and you have felt the same before. Finally once the brain is regulated then its time to reason and find a way to discuss what happened. Play is a vital element in childrens brain development! Its such an important tool and allows therapists like myself to look through the window into their worlds! Please join my group for more... workshops, courses and free tips Playful parents https://www.facebook.com/groups/361247834373348/?ref=share Zoe X

20.01.2022 When we ask children to exhibit behaviors for which they do not yet have the skill sets, thats when the #defensive brain is activated. These are the moments wh...en we see #meltdowns, anxiety, agitation, anger or fear. Engage the #collaborative brain with a kind tone, a gentle touch and a voice that communicates, we are in this together. #neurochild #brainscience #collaborate #connection

20.01.2022 "When trauma occurs before birth, and in the early ages of life, it effects the way a person perceives the world. They tend to view everything as a threat until... proven otherwise. This is not conscious, but rather a subconscious need to protect. Be mindful of the experiences of others." Bryan Post #neurochild #biologicallife #kindness

19.01.2022 Another tragic death, another woman dead as a result of domestic violence. The numbers of women being murdered by domestic violence is increasing almost on a daily basis, domestic violence in Australia is at epidemic proportions. Something needs to be done to stop this murderous scourge. 37 women in Australia have been murdered so far in 2020 due to violence against women perpetrated by ex or current partners. If you want to talk to someone about your relationship in Austral...ia you can call 1800 Respect 1800 737 732 Womens crisis line 1800 811 811 Mens referral service 1300 766 491 Kids helpline 1800 551 800 See more

19.01.2022 Of course you can transfer this to teenage girls as well...

18.01.2022 Wherever there is anxiety, there is courage, so what can you add in to make their courage a little bigger than their anxiety in that moment. We wont always b...e able to get rid of their anxiety, but we can expand their brave so it is just big enough - big enough to hush anxiety, big enough to move them forward, big enough to believe in themselves for just long enough. We can add in calm, add in our belief in them so avoidance isnt an option, add in courage, add in messages of safety. Most importantly, we can add in the certainty that we are acting from trust in them more than fear for them. I know this feels big, and I know you can do this. Whats one small step you can take that was braver than last time.

18.01.2022 THIS. . . @generationmindful

18.01.2022 Morrison was on Oprah in May 2000 talking about her book The Bluest Eye. Oprah said, Toni says a beautiful thing about the messages that we get about who we a...re when a child first walks into a room, and she asked her to talk about it. Toni Morrison explained that it’s interesting to watch what happens when a child walks into a room. She asked, Does your face light up? She explained, When my children used to walk in the room when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up. You think your affection and your deep love is on display because you’re caring for them. It’s not. When they see you, they see the critical face. What’s wrong now? Her advice was simple, but paradigm-shifting for me. She said: ‘Let your face speak what’s in your heart. When they walk in the room my face says I’m glad to see them. It’s just as small as that, you see?’ Credit: @STARLING_COMMUNITY https://brenebrown.com//what-toni-morrison-taught-me-abou/

17.01.2022 Anxiety can come from anywhere and often makes no sense at all. This is because anxiety is a primitive, instinctive response, not a rational one. Its driven by... a strong, beautiful, healthy brain that is doing what brains are meant to do - protect us from threat - and separation, humiliation, exclusion all count as threats. . Brains are do-ers before theyre thinkers (but they are excellent at both) so theyll act first to get us safe, then decide later whether or not the response is warranted. Sometimes this can save our lives and sometimes it can cause unnecessary anxiety. . The amygdala will respond in less than one-tenth of a second. This is much faster than the time it takes our brains to create a conscious thought or feeling. In this time, it can send the thinking brain offline so it doesnt get in the way of a quick response by organising a committee meeting about possible strategies. By then, the fight or flight neurochemicals are surging through us as though they have nowhere else to be. The feelings that come with this feel awful and will fuel anxious thoughts (I feel as though something bad is going to happen, so I think something bad might happen), which fuels anxious behaviour - avoidance (flight), aggression (fight). . When anxiety is at full throttle, we have to speak to the primitive, instinctive part of the brain. With the thinking brain on leave, we have no other option. Do this by encouraging strong, steady breathing, and be ready with warmth, validation and connection. (I know this feels big for you.) And breathe. Its our most basic and powerful form of self-support. When breathing is strong and steady, so are we, but its the first to go when anxiety hits. Strong steady breathing reduces blood pressure, heart rate, and brings the thinking brain back online. Validation, touch, warmth, connection speaks to the emotional amygdala to let it know that support is here. Also, it feels lovely, and is right up there at the top of the list of things we humans need to feel safe. See more

16.01.2022 Relationships truly make a difference!

16.01.2022 Two more tragic deaths this week, two woman dead as a result of domestic violence. The numbers of women being murdered by domestic violence is increasing almost on a daily basis, domestic violence in Australia is at epidemic proportions. Something needs to be done to stop this murderous scourge. 45 women in Australia have been murdered so far in 2020 due to violence against women perpetrated by ex or current partners. If you want to talk to someone about your relationship i...n Australia you can call 1800 Respect 1800 737 732 Women’s crisis line 1800 811 811 Men’s referral service 1300 766 491 Kids helpline 1800 551 800 See more

15.01.2022 Today is world mental health day...

14.01.2022 Yes every child does need a champion...

12.01.2022 #WmnwPTSDUnited #PTSD www.womenwithptsdunited.org

10.01.2022 True resilience message.

10.01.2022 Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by colour....

09.01.2022 All children come with their own magic. They all have their own strengths and will face their own challenges. They will do this in their own time, when they fee...l ready. Of course, eventually we all have to be responsible for asking for what we need and going after that, but theres no hurry to get there. The skills that will support this need to be built and nurtured to fullness. This can only happen in an environment that supports our children in feeling safe, noticed, free to experiment and free to fail, which will be where some of there greatest learnings will come from. Some children will need more time than others. Not because they are not capable - they will be so capable - but because they will be sensitive to the risks, they will place high value on connection and rapport, they will be tuned in to the reactions of others, and because, above all else, they will care. They will care about doing what feels right for them, about feeling safe enough to be brave enough, about what important others think, and how the world sees them. They will care about being the best they can be, but sometimes they will need time to discover how to do that. These are all skills and qualities that will hold them strong one day, and they will be the reasons they will be adored by the people who have a precious place beside them, well-liked and sought after by others, have important things to say, wonderful ways of seeing the world and kind, generous, compassionate ways of relating to its people. For now its important to recognise, accept and celebrate who they are, but lets not expect them to be different. Because when our children learn and grow in classrooms that support who they are and build their feelings of safety, they will slowly, and in their own time, reveal what they are capable of. And it will be stunning.

08.01.2022 We wont agree with all of the decisions our adolescents make, but they wont always agree with ours either. When we push against them, without taking the time ...to understand the needs they are trying to meet, or why a decision feels important to them, we run the risk of pushing them away from our influence, and towards that of their peers. Sometimes this will be okay, and sometimes it will land them in trouble. What we dont give them, they will look for somewhere else - whether its approval, power, independence, affection. This doesnt mean we have to agree with everything they do. What it means is letting them know that their ideas, opinions and needs matter, and so do they. See more

08.01.2022 On the 21 August we lost one of the greatest minds for Education for this generation. Sir Ken Robinson had a vision for educational transformation and has inspi...red many teachers and educators around the world to improve their practice and improve education for our students. His TED talk is the most viewed TED talk for a reason. Lets celebrate the man who was and his impact on us all. He helped me increase my focus on creativity, to embed it in my classroom and continues to motivate me to push against the education systems that standardise everything at the expense of the child. How has he impacted your practice? #SirKenRobinson #TeachersForTeachers #Education #TeachersofInstagram

08.01.2022 So very true xxx

06.01.2022 Some very wise words of wisdom for a Friday afternoon leading into the weekend...

05.01.2022 True, opinions of others follow children & adults. Its important not to allow others opinions to influence your own thought processes. Others opinions may not always be right...

05.01.2022 Do you work with children? Are you a parent or carer? This is a good read regarding how to help children feel safe and regulate their emotions.

05.01.2022 Counselling for complex trauma available at Bathurst & Lithgow for children & adults. Contact me to discuss your counselling options on 0407263077 or https://jomurray.com.au/ Fees apply.

04.01.2022 Self-regulating when our children are dysregulated can be challenging. It isn't our fault when we feel dysregulated. There are so many reasons why we feel what ...we do. Our system is simply trying to protect us from perceived threat. As adults, it is our responsibility to practice managing our behavior and understanding the role of all emotions so the big ones are no longer perceived as a threat to our safety and connection. Brain research proves that habitually uncomforted distress leaves a child with toxic levels of stress hormones washing over the brain and throughout the body, whereas regular nurturing during distress helps children develop vital stress-regulating systems in their higher brain, relieving the body of the toxic stress. Simply put, children who are punished, ignored, or purposefully isolated during distress struggle to manage stress in a healthy way later in life, whereas nurtured children learn to comfort themselves and others through empathy and logical thinking. Self-regulation, or the lack thereof, influences every single area of our lives. It is possible to rewire the brain later in life, and many of us are accomplishing this by nurturing and parenting, as we nurture and parent our children. Through conscious communication and compassionate connection, we strengthen ourselves & children, as we practice moving from temporary states of dysregulation to more regular traits of regulation. Give yourself and children plenty of nurturing. Remember this is a life-time practice made more natural with every second we choose to pause and respond with safety and connection. Emotional intelligence will flow more naturally for our grown children. We are sowing the seeds and they will continue to water them to reap the harvest. With love, Lelia www.leliaschott.com Parent Nurturing / Coaching

03.01.2022 Although you might prefer it when your child is in a good mood (when they are easy to get along with and fun to be around), children have unpleasant feelings ...like sadness, disappointment, frustration, anger, and fear, too. These feelings are often expressed through crying, temper tantrums, and challenging behaviours . Our feelings serve a purpose and let us know when a child needs something. By paying attention to a childs feelings, we show them that how they feel matters to us and that they can count on us to do our best to address their needs.

03.01.2022 As I promised earlier in the week, I have written a blog on co-regulation which looks at how the brain is the social organ of our body which thrives on safe con...nections to trusted others, but can also suffer if it has not been given, or does not have, close relationships with others. I wanted to explore this in detail, and also look at how we can help others be in their social engagement system. When people are in sympathetic hyperarousal, (fight/flight), they can be defensive, feel angry, fast and furious and in dorsal vagal hypo-arousal, they can be dissociative, depressed, shutdown and hard to get through to at times. One of the greatest things however is that people can move out of these states; the brain is adaptive, and so although we may be in hyper or hypo arousal, we can also move into an optimum arousal state. To learn more, read my blog https://www.traumathrivers.com//co-regulation-why-feeling/

03.01.2022 Play is the BEST way to learn! __________________________ Credit: This quote was inspired by the I Am... series of posters created by Playvolution HQ: https://playvolutionhq.com//origin/original-i-am-3-poster/

02.01.2022 Its National Child Protection Week from the 6-12 September 2020, lets all work together all the time to ensure all children are safe...

02.01.2022 And thats how I spent my Saturday...anyone else?

01.01.2022 Yes to all of these! Becoming aware of why we feel triggered helps us to take a step back and work through our emotions instead of projecting that responsibilit...y onto our child. #untigering HT Happy as a Mother