Kat Huxtable Psychotherapy in Manly West | Psychotherapist

Kat Huxtable Psychotherapy

Locality: Manly West

Phone: +61 435 291 422

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22.01.2022 How often do you find yourself feeling upset or hurt by the words and/or actions of others? Most of us do frequently! This is a very interesting read which may help view things a little differently. http://upliftconnect.com/the-fine-art-of-not-being-offended/

22.01.2022 How have you been feeling over these last few weeks? It's definitely been a unique, difficult and uncertain time. The impact for each of us is different this isn’t the same for everyone, everyone is experiencing it differently, but everyone is definitely experiencing it. So, I am putting together some daily thoughts (they may not be exactly daily, but I will aim for 3 or 4 times a week) on ideas you might like to try through this time. Some of these may feel relevant and us...eful and some less so do feel free to let me know what helps and what you’d like more of. So, Isolation Missive 1: first and so very importantly whatever you are feeling is absolutely fine and normal. I see many people experiencing frustration with themselves for not managing this better, or somehow not doing it differently. You may be anxious, angry, lonely, sad, grieving, afraid, fine, contented. Or a mix of all of these feelings and others. Each and every one of these feelings is appropriate and normal. We will all have our good days and our more difficult days, but know that this will change, how you feel and this experience will pass. Take a breathNotice and acknowledge how you are feeling right in this moment and be kind and be gentle. Lake Baikal in Russia, the world's largest and deepest lake

21.01.2022 Isolation Missive 6: As Australia starts to feel a little easier with the current situation, I'm aware that many other countries are not there yet. These remain deeply challenging times. Many of us may be experiencing high levels of anxiety, perhaps difficulty sleeping, fear, worry, irritability and anger. This is completely normal. These difficult times can reactivate previous experiences of trauma in our bodies, which are out of our control. Don't try to control it, try no...t to judge yourself if you are experiencing any of these feelings, be kind, be gentle. Know that this is a time of trauma and if you have experienced trauma before, it may reactivate or trigger those old feelings. This is normal and it will pass. Keep taking care of yourself and if you can, increase your self care. Keep in touch with friends and family, and seek the support and help of a therapist or counsellor. I talked about meditation and mindfulness earlier, yoga too has been shown to be a wonderful and deeply helpful way of helping us soothe ourselves through trauma, particularly if meditation and stillness can be challenging. Yoga with Adriene is freely available on Youtube. And if you have kids, Cosmic Kids Yoga is wonderful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5CEOjPY_uw

20.01.2022 Isolation Missive 4: I hope you had a gentle and peaceful Easter weekend. You might have noticed that I use a photo of a place in nature for each post Ive made so far. Theres a good reason for this. Being in nature has been shown to be highly beneficial for our sense of wellbeing. Even a short walk in nature can soothe anxiety and help calm our systems. So, if you have a garden, spend as much time as you can in it. And if you can get to a park for your daily exercise, or w...alk by the ocean, just notice how it feels in your body when you look at and absorb the natural world. If you live in a flat, take extra care of your plants, notice where they are growing or not growing, take the time to get to know what they need to flourish. And if youre interested in knowing more about the importance of nature, do have a look at my blogpost about it. https://www.kathuxtable.com.au///you-need-to-get-out-more/

20.01.2022 Many years ago I did a very satisfying piece of research into our need to be heard and listened to after trauma and loss. I was looking at Truth and Reconciliation Commissions around the world - these processes allow peoples stories about their experiences during conflict to be heard and in that process, provide some form of healing. So, Im really pleased to hear that the Grenfell Tower inquiry in London has begun with "commemoration hearings" - a supportive space for survivors to talk about their losses. Well done UK government. https://www.theguardian.com//grenfell-tower-tributes-titan

19.01.2022 Isolation Missive 2: Yesterday, I suggested simply noticing your emotions and accepting them, without judgement.Today, lets try taking this a step further. See if you can drop your attention into your body and notice the sensations - does your tummy feel warm? cool? churny? tight? relaxed? knotted? do you notice any of these sensations in your chest? What about your arms? Your legs? Your neck? Anywhere else? Sometimes, when we first start with this if its unfamiliar, it ca...n be tricky to connect to those sensations, but keep with it and you will get there. When we focus on the sensations in our bodies and stay with those sensations, the part of our brains (the amygdala) where anxiety, fear or any other heightened emotion is triggered, can be calmed, and the emotion soothed. If you get distracted back to your thoughts, gently and kindly bring yourself back to noticing the sensations in your body. This mindfulness technique can also helpful at night if youre struggling to sleep. If you want to explore this more deeply, find a body scan meditation (easy to find on youtube) and try doing it everyday. This will deepen your awareness of your body and therefore support your system to become calmer in moments of high stress. Although, its not a quick fix! It does take practice and its best to practice first when your body and mind are feeling calm - this will make it easier to do when youre experiencing heightened emotions. Please note, though, that for some people this may be difficult, and if you find it uncomfortable to do this, thats absolutely fine - its not for you, and please dont persist with trying right now. If this is you, you might find more movement based (yoga?) approaches more helpful. Do feel free to comment below if you have any questions about this. The Lake District, UK

19.01.2022 This is beautiful. Something for us all to bear in mind... https://naamayehuda.com/2017/03/23/symptomatology/

19.01.2022 http://www.thebookoflife.org/twenty-ideas-on-marriage/ If youre looking for some inspiration to help your relationship, this is a great article. Its long but its worth it.

19.01.2022 Today is International Mens Day. A good day to consider the challenges faced by men in todays society. Did you know: 3 out of 4 suicides are men 2 out of 3 violent deaths are men Men die 6 years younger than women on average... Boys underperform girls at every stage of education Dads who want to be more involved in their childrens lives face a range of barriers It can be hard in our society for some men to show their vulnerability, to allow their feelings to surface and to express themselves clearly. Wise words from the International Mens Day website: "Despite the overwhelming evidence that men and boys face a range of issues related to their physical, mental and social health and wellbeing, many people are intransigent in promoting a range rigid gender stereotypes and clichs such as: Man Up Boys dont cry Men and boys dont need help and; Every day is International Mens Day The fact is, every day isnt International Mens Day. Only 19 November." Lets be careful with the words we use and the assumptions we make. Do have a look at this website if youd like to know more. https://www.internationalmensday.info/when_what_and_why_is_

18.01.2022 Today is International Men's Day. A good day to consider the challenges faced by men in today's society. Did you know: 3 out of 4 suicides are men 2 out of 3 violent deaths are men Men die 6 years younger than women on average... Boys underperform girls at every stage of education Dads who want to be more involved in their children’s lives face a range of barriers It can be hard in our society for some men to show their vulnerability, to allow their feelings to surface and to express themselves clearly. Wise words from the International Mens' Day website: "Despite the overwhelming evidence that men and boys face a range of issues related to their physical, mental and social health and wellbeing, many people are intransigent in promoting a range rigid gender stereotypes and clichés such as: Man Up Boys don’t cry Men and boys don’t need help and; Every day is International Men’s Day The fact is, every day isn’t International Men’s Day. Only 19 November." Let's be careful with the words we use and the assumptions we make. Do have a look at this website if you'd like to know more. https://www.internationalmensday.info/when_what_and_why_is_

18.01.2022 On International Womens Day Ive been thinking (and writing) about motherhood. Why is it that motherhood is so undervalued? http://www.kathuxtable.com.au/blog.html

18.01.2022 Isolation Missive 7: I haven't posted for a while and this will be my last Isolation Missive as we all edge our way out of isolation. This has been and is so very hard for many people in so many ways, and yet, for others, it has offered that opportunity to slow down, rest, spend time with family (which may have brought its own challenges) and generally retreat. Some are now feeling overwhelmed at the thought of returning to "normal life": commuting to work, full return to th...e hustle and bustle of the office, school runs, renewed social life, sports activities etc. Some of these things are wonderful and much looked forward to, but that doesn't mean they don't add a level of stress. For many of us, isolation has brought a slower pace, and the return to "normal", even if it comes quite slowly, quite possibly will in some ways increase our sense of stress and overwhelm. Or perhaps, help us realise that we previously lived in a state of stress and overwhelm much of the time. Remember to be kind to yourself, remember to take time for youself, notice how you're feeling and perhaps try to limit how much of "normal" you reenter all in one go. Much as we look forward to returning to "normal", go softly and gently.

17.01.2022 In today's world driven by achievement and status, this important. Take a moment to think about how you take care of yourself.

16.01.2022 This is really important - whether it's addiction, depression, rage, violence - most of us need more connection.

16.01.2022 Do you get out into nature enough? Research shows that just a short amount of time in nature each week can help with anxiety, depression and many other physical and mental health issues...Im fascinated by this and find that, for me, it is so true that getting out makes an enormous difference to how I feel. http://kathuxtable.com.au/blog.html

15.01.2022 This article struck me for many reasons. Firstly, it offers research findings showing that LGBTQ young people are THREE times more likely to experience a mental health condition. Secondly, it makes the (to me obvious) point that this is not because they are part of the LGBTQ community, but because of how the rest of society treats them. How is that we as a society are still marginalising people because of their sexuality? This is particularly pertinent right now in Australia... with the same sex marriage postal plebiscite so close. I know some who are devastated by the fact that it is even happening. The fact that so many young LGBTQ people (this research is in the USA) also have difficulties finding a therapist who focuses on them as an individual, as a whole person, rather than as gay or lesbian is also very sad and indeed worrying. As a therapist in a same sex relationship, I have been wondering how to reach out to the LGBTQ community without tagging my website with phrases like "LGBTQ friendly". If you have any ideas, Id love to hear them! https://www.bustle.com/p/how-therapists-are-failing-lgbtq-m

14.01.2022 Christmas is obviously the big topic of conversation at the moment, both in and out of my consulting room. It can be a difficult time of year - negotiating difficult family relationships, or perhaps feeling the loneliness of not having family around, the pressure of "holiday" and preparations that entails. I really like this list of helpful dos and donts at Christmas... http://www.mental-health-today.com/articles/hol.htm

13.01.2022 I love Constance Hall and I love this article on her page about anxiety in new mums. Its so important that we acknowledge how were feeling and get help if we need it. http://queensofconstance.com//i-want-to-talk-about-anxiet/

13.01.2022 Following on from my post yesterday about multitasking, I really like this article about love and connection: when we slow down and take time to connect properly with people around us, we experience more love and therefore more nourishment. I definitely notice this in my life. https://psychotherapynetworker.org//defining-love-in-today

12.01.2022 http://www.nytimes.com//how-social-isolation-is-killing-us

11.01.2022 In todays world driven by achievement and status, this important. Take a moment to think about how you take care of yourself.

11.01.2022 A great piece of advice on improving your relationship during the stressful/ busy holiday period.... https://clintonpower.com.au//use-holidays-improve-relatio/

11.01.2022 Motherhood is a wonderful experience, but it can also be exhausting, overwhelming and isolating. Many mums find it hard to adjust to the enormous changes in the...ir lives. Psychotherapist, Kat Huxtable MA, is offering a safe warm space for mums to talk. http://www.kathuxtable.com.au/mothertalk.html

10.01.2022 This is really important - whether its addiction, depression, rage, violence - most of us need more connection.

10.01.2022 As a Brit here in Australia, it can be hard being so far from "home" at Christmas - particularly when its 30 degrees and snow is something my children have never seen (but theyre still hoping!). http://www.outpostmagazine.com//723-how-to-get-through-chr

10.01.2022 Hope from Bath University in the UK! Biodegradable plastic would be amazing. Still a way off but its great to see how researchers are looking for other ways.

10.01.2022 The same sex marriage postal survey is bringing out hatred and prejudice in many. You may have seen the adverts or even had people posting on your Facebook wall about it. For many, young people in particular, who are not surrounded by supportive family and friends, this kind of judgement of their sexuality can have devastating consequences. Many are experiencing anxiety, depression and far worse. There are people young and old in all our communities who are affected by this. If you know someone who may be affected, please reach out and be their friend. Let them know that they are perfect just as they are.

09.01.2022 Its the end of year..once again. And what a year - its been astonishing on so many fronts. Ive been trying to understand some of the political turnings from a psychotherapeutic perspective and explored them in my latest blog post. http://www.kathuxtable.com.au/blog.html

09.01.2022 Ive been thinking alot lately about contentment is about how we perceive the world, rather than a response to what the world gives us. This sums it up beautifully.

09.01.2022 Intergenerational trauma is a particular interest of mine as it affects us all. Often we dont think it relevant to consider the experiences of our grandparents or great grandparents but this article beautifully explains why it might be very helpful to do so. http://www.ozy.com//can-trauma-be-passed-from-parent/70261

08.01.2022 I first came across Esther Perel when I was doing relationship therapy training and I like her work alot. This TED talk is about how to rekindle your sexual relationship; The bit towards the end about how our early attachment relationships impact on our sexual relationships is particularly interesting. https://www.ted.com//esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_

07.01.2022 Isolation Missive 5: So, we know that being in nature is incredibly good for our mental health but did you know that "forest bathing" is actually an activity in many countries such as Japan and South Korea? Trees are known to be so important for our health that forests have been set aside for therapeutic walking and being. I have always found trees to be very grounding and have a beautiful picture of huge beech trees in my consulting room. When I look at this image, I immedi...ately notice a sense calm in my body. Whilst youre isolating, how about getting to know the trees in your area? The trees you can see from your windows? What type of tree are they? What do their leaves look and feel like? Do they yield fruit and if so, at what time of year? Do they flower and if so when? What are the fruits and flowers like? What does the bark look and feel like? Is it a local native tree and if not, where is it originally from? Getting to know your local trees brings a sense of connectedness and belonging, and a sense of groundedness too. And as the year passes, noticing the changes in your trees keeps you connected with the natural world. And as always, simply notice any sensations in your body when you spend time observing your local trees. These are trees in a local bush reserve. I think (!) they are melaleuca trees.

06.01.2022 Isolation Missive 3: I talked about mindfulness yesterday and wondered if you are already - or have thought about - meditating? Meditation has been a central (sometimes more, sometimes less) part of my own self care for many years and even more so now. There is a wonderful, growing body of research highlighting the benefits of a regular meditation practice for soothing stress and anxiety, and bringing an increased sense of groundedness. If youre in Australia, Catalyst (on ...ABC catch up) has an interesting programme on the effectiveness of mindfulness meditation. There are plenty of apps available too. I like Insight Timer which has a free app providing a timer for your meditation with options of different bells to begin and end. Headspace is a well known paid app offering courses in meditation. Smiling Mind is a free app which offers many guided meditations, and also has some audio meditations for kids. If youd like to read more and understand more deeply, I would suggest starting with "Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World" by Mark Williams and Danny Penman, who have both been deeply involved with researching the benefits of mindfulness with Oxford University. This book provides a course in mindfulness with guided meditations to follow. As with yesterdays body scan, for some people, meditation may be difficult and again, if thats you, thats absolutely fine. Please stop and practice a more active way such as yoga and/or exercise. Do let me know how you go with your meditation.

04.01.2022 Interesting stuff. http://consciouslifenews.com/new-finding-different-types//

04.01.2022 Isolation Missive 6: As Australia starts to feel a little easier with the current situation, Im aware that many other countries are not there yet. These remain deeply challenging times. Many of us may be experiencing high levels of anxiety, perhaps difficulty sleeping, fear, worry, irritability and anger. This is completely normal. These difficult times can reactivate previous experiences of trauma in our bodies, which are out of our control. Dont try to control it, try no...t to judge yourself if you are experiencing any of these feelings, be kind, be gentle. Know that this is a time of trauma and if you have experienced trauma before, it may reactivate or trigger those old feelings. This is normal and it will pass. Keep taking care of yourself and if you can, increase your self care. Keep in touch with friends and family, and seek the support and help of a therapist or counsellor. I talked about meditation and mindfulness earlier, yoga too has been shown to be a wonderful and deeply helpful way of helping us soothe ourselves through trauma, particularly if meditation and stillness can be challenging. Yoga with Adriene is freely available on Youtube. And if you have kids, Cosmic Kids Yoga is wonderful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5CEOjPY_uw

04.01.2022 We are probably just at the beginning of a very difficult period - not just the shutting down of amenities and entertainment but isolation, possible financial impacts and all that goes with it. Our mental health is going to be impacted by this, please be aware and take care of yourself. Exercise - jumping round your living room, dancing, yoga, anything is good - and staying in touch with friends and family are so important. And very importantly, try to avoid checking the news too often. Our brains are wired to a negativity bias (to keep us alert for danger), but this makes news checking in current times very seductive and ramps up anxiety. Check in with yourself about how youre feeling and be compassionate, gentle and kind towards yourself and others.

03.01.2022 Alain de Botton is a wise man and I really like this article. New year is a time when people try to sweep out the old and welcome the new and sadly, this seems to apply to relationships too...this article offers some helpful advice on how to stay realistic in your expectations. https://www.theguardian.com//romantic-realism-the-seven-ru

03.01.2022 Having written about motherhood from a mothers perspective, I also want to consider it from a childs perspective. I work with many people who struggle with their relationship with their mothers and I have found that a key element to healing can be grieving for the mother we never had. https://www.psychologytoday.com//unloved-daughters-and-mou

02.01.2022 How have you been feeling over these last few weeks? Its definitely been a unique, difficult and uncertain time. The impact for each of us is different this isnt the same for everyone, everyone is experiencing it differently, but everyone is definitely experiencing it. So, I am putting together some daily thoughts (they may not be exactly daily, but I will aim for 3 or 4 times a week) on ideas you might like to try through this time. Some of these may feel relevant and us...eful and some less so do feel free to let me know what helps and what youd like more of. So, Isolation Missive 1: first and so very importantly whatever you are feeling is absolutely fine and normal. I see many people experiencing frustration with themselves for not managing this better, or somehow not doing it differently. You may be anxious, angry, lonely, sad, grieving, afraid, fine, contented. Or a mix of all of these feelings and others. Each and every one of these feelings is appropriate and normal. We will all have our good days and our more difficult days, but know that this will change, how you feel and this experience will pass. Take a breathNotice and acknowledge how you are feeling right in this moment and be kind and be gentle. Lake Baikal in Russia, the worlds largest and deepest lake