King KOM Race Machine | Public figure
King KOM Race Machine
Phone: +61 428 786 445
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25.01.2022 ToMR 2019 Stage 3 and 4: Race Report This the double header edition that cycling fans around the globe have been waiting for. Could anyone stop the Mighty KOMs in their march to victory? Would the organisers let anyone else win so as not to adversely impact media coverage? Would Scott Morrison turn up to present the trophy to the lads and get a well needed electoral bounce? Why had the bookmakers refused any further bets on a KOM victory? Would JohnBoy’s combustible toile...Continue reading
25.01.2022 ToMR20 Stages 4 & 5 Race Report Well another amazing Tour of Margs comes to an end with a string of awards for the Mighty KOMs and their subservient Handmaids: Most Charismatic Rider: Oleg Chainkomov Greatest Performance by a rider without working legs: Oleg Chainkomov...Continue reading
23.01.2022 Yes global cycling fans, it’s that time of year again when the Mighty KOMs come out to play and prepare for another Tour of Margs campaign which is yet again destined for complete victory. In addition to a new and improved KOM roster, 2020 will see the first outing of the Mighty King KOM Handmaids, to do battle with the other women while at the same time vying for Oleg’ affections like an episode of the Bachelor. More on that in the upcoming edition of the King KOM Kronicle....Continue reading
18.01.2022 The Mighty KOMs doing some TTT race practice and ensuring their line is tight and cohesive
16.01.2022 Our mate and KOM legend, Dr. Troy, has left us. Our condolences and thoughts go out to his family, friends and partner Steph. Such a shocking loss. We’ll keep riding hard mate.
15.01.2022 Happy Christmas to all my employees and your families and any illegitimate children you may also have. Thank you in supporting me to be even more magnificent this year than I was last year...and I was completely magnificent in 2018. I have mailed your Christmas bonuses, though with taxes, administration fees and compulsory donations to the Chainkomov Yacht Foundation, the total value comes to $0.00. Work harder next year and I’ll see what I can do!
15.01.2022 Have you heard about Kurt's apology? Or perhaps the latest sponsorship rumors? Check out the latest King KOM Kronicle (Feb 2018) on the our web page - http://kingkomracingteam.com/
15.01.2022 Stages 2 and 3 ToMR Race report: Before I start a special mention to Bjorn, Benny and Freda our fans in Sweden who have been following us closely in recent weeks amd illustrate the global phenomenon that is the King KOM Race Machine...though it’s probably their interest in Oleg and his exploits that drives the global fan base. The organisers had scheduled a difficult day with 2 brutally brutal stages to brutalise the riders in brutal fashion. However, this was similar to the ...Continue reading
13.01.2022 Greetings to all of our amazing fans around the globe who have been waiting for the Mighty KOMs to launch their threepeat challenge at the 2020 Tour of Margaret River. 2020 has undoubtedly been one of the most rectally challenging and unpredictable years, but one thing remains constant...the utter magnificence of the Mighty King KOM and the adulation heaped on their leader and handsome raconteur, the Almighty Oleg Chainkomov. This year saw Oleg launch the KOMs first all fema...Continue reading
13.01.2022 Reloaded video with hopefully full 2 mins!
12.01.2022 Day 2 Race Report: After 2 incredible performances in Day 1, all the smart money (from the bookies who backed Malcolm Turnbull to lead the Libs to the next election) was on the Mighty KOMs to stamp themselves yet again as the in form team of this years Tour. This was exactly what happened except for the riders who were out of form and hence have contracts that are now under a cloud. The lads from King KOM 1 were first off the blocks in A division with many of the other teams...Continue reading
12.01.2022 ToMR 2019 Stage 2: Race Report Saturday morning saw the entire peloton arrive in Nannup bright and early and hoping to catch a glimpse of the Mighty KOMs before the departure. Unfortunately, the lads had spent the night at JohnBoy’s AirBnB trying to unclog his composting toilet after all six of the lads had made a deposit after Stage 1. Eventually the fire brigade and the EPA were called to cordon of the area and Oleg and his five domestiques were free to commence battle. ...Continue reading
11.01.2022 The Mighty KOMs with Oleg setting his expectations and the KOM Handmaids discussing what they are going to cook the lads for dinner
11.01.2022 KOMs do victory lap to satisfy global media requests and local fans
11.01.2022 Kalamunda 100 Race Report Sunday saw the first outing of 2018 for the Mighty King KOM gents in the Kala 100. The lads were seeking redemption after the 2017 fiasco that resulted in a non winning performance...something that has now been labelled fake news and according to the White House, never actually happened. This years race saw some changes to the team given a number of incidents that luckily never received the media attention they deserved due to Barnaby Joyce starting ...Continue reading
08.01.2022 It has been a while since a race report was published which is mainly due to my focus on the design of my new 247m mega yacht- The Pride of Stanstanistanistan. She is currently in dry dock having the swimming pool and karaoke bar installed. Sunday saw the first WCMCC road race for 2020, with nearly 130 competitors turning up and hoping to catch a sight of the Almighty Oleg Chainkomov in full flow. Oleg has been single handedly keeping the KOMs at the top of the team points t...able as the promotional activities following Tour or Margs have taken a heavy toll on the rest of the team. The WCMCC series has taken an interesting turn this year with the age limit being dropped to 12 which has seen a range of young guns step up to match themselves with the Patron of the peloton. There is a chance that some of them could be related to Oleg as he never kept track of his activities while attending student parties at university. Anyway, on to race day at a sunny Herne Hill which is a mountainous course with some Hors category climbs and technical descents. Oleg led the premier grade out of the start line with cameras flashing from a huge crowd of Olegamuffins. There had obviously been some pre-race bastardry as the other 37 riders appeared to combine their collective resources to constantly attack Oleg in the hope of tiring out the maestro. However, this proved somewhat ineffective when Craig the Hux Huxtable, broke ranks and asked for an autograph and for Oleg to sign his race kit. This left Oleg at least a full lap behind the leaders as he also took the opportunity to go for a #2 which took longer than expected given his beef vindaloo breakfast. Unsurprisingly, Oleg was not deterred and rode the next 4 laps averaging 60km/h to quickly bridge back to the bunch. The 15 lads from the Presto International Garments team were particularly pleased to see their hero back in the group and they each proceeded to present a compelling case for elevation from their feeder team to full King KOM status. While Oleg was considering his response, Rafa, the cheese eating surrender monkey who is also a black belt in origami and Timmy Motel Bates from Presto snuck off the front and proceeded to take 1st and 2nd spot in a sprint finale. A great finish from both boys though their power stats from Strava indicated they powered home at Oleg’s zone 2 levels. Another great event organised by WCMCC and the AGM that immediately followed saw Oleg elected to the Hall of Fame and given an honorary doctorate. An amazing day all around and one that many present will tell their grandchildren and in most cases, their illegitimate offspring, that they got to share the bitumen with the world’s most modest yet handsome rider. Next week promises more amazing racing from Oleg and more sycophantic jostling from the other riders!
07.01.2022 This what happens when you have your first race for the KOMs!!! Different level and someone has to call an ambulance! Bravo Richard Woods, latest KOM legend!
05.01.2022 Tour of Margaret River 2019: Stage 1 Race Report Another epic day in the saddle as the Team TT announced the arrival of the Mighty King KOM to ToMR10. It's already clear that ToMR11 is in doubt due to the financial difficulties being experienced by the organisers after having to pay so much appearance money to Oleg and his acolytes to grace this year’s race with their presence. The ATO is also involved as the fee has been recorded as a charitable donation to The Chainkomov ...Continue reading
04.01.2022 The King KOM story has been updated. Read our goals for 2018
03.01.2022 ToMR 2018 Race Report Day 1: Decades of waiting by all our fans saw the Mighty KOMs field two elite teams in this years race. The press gallery and the local Nannup bakery had been abuzz with what Oleg and his employees would deliver in the 2018 edition after dismantling the field in the 2017 race. 2018 saw the KOMs deliver in spades and shovels and a variety of other gardening implements. First to the line saw the debut of the KOM Kommander and Handmaids complete with a n...Continue reading
02.01.2022 Day 3 Race Report: Coming a bit late due to the shenanigans that took place during Stage 4 last night. Sunday morning saw the peloton front up again for another chance to ride with the Mighty King KOM superheroes and hence have something to tell their grandchildren about. 109 km of rolling hills and portaloos at 5 km intervals, promised to make the racing interesting. Ryno's bladder issues had proven contagious with many riders needing early stops and even the famous Robb...Continue reading
02.01.2022 The magnificent KOMs discussing who they should invite to the victory party! #charismaonwheels, Dean Shipp, Hunter Shipp, John McCann, Pete O’Connell, Brendon Clark
01.01.2022 Big thanks to all who turned out for the memorial ride for our mate Troy Marais. In true King KOM fashion, it was the largest group ride in history! Thanks to Jess Allen for her video work. A fitting tribute.
