Macalister Hotel in Maffra, Victoria | Beer garden

Macalister Hotel

Locality: Maffra, Victoria

Phone: +61 3 5147 1054

Address: 2 Johnson Street 3860 Maffra, VIC, Australia

Website: http://www.macalisterhotel.com.au

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• Restaurant
• Pub
• Beer garden

25.01.2022 One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask, and zipping down the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! She walked up t...o the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?" "Ten years!" replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and begorrah!" said the castaway. "Ah, that is so good! I'd forgotten how great a smoke can be!" "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years!" Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. "'Tis truly fantastic!!!" At this point, the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?" With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed,"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"

22.01.2022 Karaoke is Back at the Mac Justin Rebecchi is back Friday night from 8.30pm onwards with his great karaoke Book in for dinner and join in for a fun night of singing dancing and catching up with your mates After this year we all deserve some fun

19.01.2022 New menu Hello all Very excited to announce we are back in action 7 days a week Lunch and dinner from Saturday Bookings call 51471054

06.01.2022 Hello all Here at the Mac we have zero tolerance of minors attending our hotel without suitable guardians On Saturday night a group of underage minors attempted to gain entry to our hotel however they were politely told that we were already closed and that they were underage and not allowed entry anyway A scuffle ensured in the outside car park between members of the group resulting in our staff calling police and ambulance Sadly we now hear around town that the fight was ...at the Mac when In fact was nothing to do with our hotel and we did not serve any of those involved Following this we feel the need to again state no minors will be allowed entry to any part of our hotel without parent or person deemed suitable by ourselves this includes the bistro See more

03.01.2022 My wife, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while She, was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.... About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. She wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room. The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.) She, tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before." The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed."

02.01.2022 FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back ...Continue reading