Motivating Marriages in Engadine, New South Wales | Marriage therapist

Motivating Marriages

Locality: Engadine, New South Wales

Phone: +61 2 9520 8606

Address: Shop 1/6 Preston Ave 2233 Engadine, NSW, Australia

Website: http://www.motivatingmarriages.com.au

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24.01.2022 A committed relationship is when two become one. It's like when you sprain your ankle, the other foot works harder to lighten the load, and soften the impact on the injured ankle. About a month ago, I was struck down with (and am continuing to recover from) a severe case of Shingles, for which I was hospitalised, and that has left me with some complications. Selflessly, my wife went into full gear to provide me with emotional, and physical support, as well as thinking ahead t...o work things out to maximise my chance of recovery. She tunes in to every need I have, and is going through the experience with me, so I haven't felt alone in the pain. One of Dr. John Gottman's most famous quotes is, "When you're in pain, my world stops". Notice when your partner is in pain, and stop everything to lighten their load, to sit with them in their pain, and use the time as an opportunity to connect. Your relationship will love you for it! Thank you also to all the staff at Sydney Eye Hospital. We are so thankful for your treatmemt and care of me during my stay. #learnwhatitistoreallylove #motivatingmarriages #gottmaninstitute #shingles #pain #illness #paralysis #ramsayhuntsyndrome #emotionalsupport #attunement #togetherwearestronger #twobecomeone #oneflesh #recovery #ritualsofconnection #need #thankful #nurses #emergencydepartment

24.01.2022 LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS Keeping no record of wrongs does not mean that there is never accountability or that you or your partner can get a free pass when you do wrong. Rather, love does not let a record of wrongs create a permanent breach in a relationship. In the end, love chooses to forgive. #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #angered #irritated #annoyed #displeased #hostile #seek #pleasure #company #goodhumour #humour #cheerup #cheer #partner #lighten #mood

24.01.2022 After observing thousands of couples for more than four decades, Dr. John Gottman discovered that most couples aren't arguing about specific topics like finances, sex, parenting, or dealing with difficult in-laws. Instead, they're fighting about a failure to emotionally connect. #motivatingmarriages #marriages #marriagecounselling

24.01.2022 There is a lot to do when it comes to love, but when love has been done well you come to see that it has been worth all the effort. #learnwhatitistoreallylove #lovetakestime #loveislove #lovelife #lovequotes #loving #loveyou #loveoneanother

23.01.2022 Even if your relationship is going great, still put in the effort! When the hard times hit, rather than sink, youll be able to swim.

23.01.2022 EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION PT. 2

23.01.2022 LOVE IS NOT EASILY ANGERED Love is not easily irritated, annoyed, displeased or hostile. Love caused you to seek pleasure in each others company and takes things in good humour. Use some humour to cheer up your partner and lighten the mood. #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #angered #irritated #annoyed #displeased #hostile #seek #pleasure #company #goodhumour #humour #cheerup #cheer #partner #lighten #mood

22.01.2022 An open-ended question to ask your partner. Open-ended questions can’t be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. They have stories for answers. Uncover your hopes and dreams to deepen your understanding of each other!

21.01.2022 One of the most beautiful descriptions of relationship happiness Ive heard was a husband describing to his wife that he sees a balloon inside of himself that represents all of his intimacy needs. He then proceeded to tell her that because of her love and care for him, the balloon was full. Take some time to sit with your partner and together, discuss how full your inner balloons are. If it is one or both of your balloons are feeling a little deflated be sure to ask each what is needed for it to feel full again. #intimacy #intimate #learnwhatitistoreallylove #fullness #connection #inspire #marriagegoals #marriage #couples #couplesgoals #knowthyself #balloons #conversation #qualitytime #care #needs #emotionalconnection #emotionalneeds

19.01.2022 There were only enough leftovers for one so I put his dinner in the oven to heat up and thought Ill just make myself an omlette. "Oh damn it!" We just realised we didnt have paint for the builders that were coming in the morning. His dinner was almost heated up, he had work in the morning, I had the day off tomorrow. It was an easy decision, Ill just run up the road and get the paint.... Half an hour later I walk back in with the paint in hand to see him chopping spinach, tomatoes and bacon to go in my omlette. This is what small things often looks like. Have you got 5 minutes? What can you do for your partner today. Just something small to make their life a little easier. In doing these "small things often", it makes the conflict we had the day before, and the one well no doubt have soon enough, easier to manage in the moment, and less destructive to our relationship over all. The act of love really only takes a few minutes each day. #learnwhatitistoreallylove #smallthingsoften #gottman #gottmaninstitute #omlette #tomatoes #eggs #builder #homerenovation #paint #conflict #lovebank #5minutes #actsofservice #actsofkindness #thegottmaninstitute #thoughtfulness

19.01.2022 May the light of the world that is Christmas, shine brightly into your lives, your hearts and all of your meaningful relationships today. Christmas is the perfect time to give the gift of love to the ones you love. It goes a little something like this if you need prompting: To my dear husband, I love, admire and appreciate, more than you'll ever know, your ability to find humour in everything. May we never ever stop laughing together. #christmas #learnwhatitistoreallylove #motivatingmarriages #christmasgifts #giftoflove #cavalierkingcharlesspaniel #christmas2020 #neverstoplaughing #laughteristhebestmedicine #admire #admiration #appreciation

19.01.2022 7 Marriage Principles in 7 Days #4 #marriage #marriages #motivatingmarriages #marriagecounselling #gottman #sevenprinciplesformakingmarriagework #learnwhatitistoreallylove

19.01.2022 Sometimes it's the small words and gestures that can make all the difference. #motivatingmarriages #marriages #marriagecounselling

19.01.2022 Born, raised, and professionally trained critical thinker here! Who can relate? Decades of research from the Gottman Institute tells us that happy couples scan their environment looking for the things that they can appreciate about their partner; unhappy couples have a "negative habit of mind", and scan their environment looking for problems in their partner. Critical thinking is not particularly prorelational! The Gottman Institute suggests two things we can do:... 1. Scan for the good in our partner and express appreciation and admiration 2. Look within and ask, what am I feeling, what do I need? I love these strategies and they work really well to improve relationship happiness. But still, I am left with my intrinsically critical mind? He is selfish by definition, "chiefly concerned with ones own interests". Everyday, I come home from work and walk into the kitchen and start dinner, he comes home and picks up his guitar. She is careless. She loses her things all the time - everyday without fail she loses her keys. Shes even been known to leave her purse in shops and just walk away! Selfish or Introverted? What do I love about this part of my husband? Without his Introversion he would not be able to write, create or build...I would never have ever heard the most beautiful song that he wrote for me. I wouldnt have the dining room table he built and wrote a secret love note on the bottom of. Careless or Caring? What do I love about this part of my wife? Without her carelessness for things, she wouldnt have the same capacity to care for me and others the way she does. She doesnt think about where she puts keys at work because she is more focussed on making me lunch everyday and checking in on our staff to see how theyre going. I always feel deeply known, cared for, and loved by her. Perspective is everything when it comes to being happily married. But, when were finding it hard to simply REPLACE our perspective, we have to learn how to REFRAME it. #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottmaninstitute #gottman #couplestherapy #marriages #happymarriage #happywife #happyhusband #mindset #love #changeperspective #reframe

18.01.2022 I love thinking, wondering, hypothesising and analysing. This unusual branch caught my attention on my walk yesterday and led me to think of just how different any of our lives could be, if at any point had we just said or done something a little differently. This never rings as true as it does when we assess a couples unhappy relationship. - What if, when we were 17 and dating, I didnt break your heart by talking to another boy. - What if, when we were engaged I asked you... how you wanted our wedding day to be? - What if, when we got married I consulted you first before I spoke to my Mum about how to solve our problems? - What if, instead of telling my mates that I didnt enjoy our sex life, I came to you instead? - What if, when you were pregnant with our first baby, I sat on the lounge with you and touched your belly as it grew our little baby? - What if, when we were dating we spent more time getting to know one another versus spending so much time drinking with our friends. - What if, when we had our first big fight, I never left that night but I stayed and we cuddled and cried together in our pain? - What if, when the flame of romance started to fade in our relationship we came together to reignite it instead of turning to a new him/her to start a new flame? ... Where did your pain begin? Where did the emotional disconnection start? Where did you start to lose heart, and to lose hope? The job of a couples therapist is so bitter-sweet. The pain that couples are in when they first come to see us is often unpalatable. Yet, there is nothing sweeter than seeing two people reconnect by healing the pains of their past and forging a new, deep intimate connection moving forward. A massive shout out to all our couples who have walked the path towards repairing their pain, healing hurt and growing deeper in love, trust and intimacy. Your committment and effort, in the face of all apparent odds is nothing short of incredible! #learnwhatitistoreallylove #couplestherapy #heartache #relationships #wewillsurvive #healing #intensivecouplestherapy #intimacy #wherediditgowrong #howdidwegethere #branches #trajectory #whatif

18.01.2022 On Monday we got home late from work and I said to my husband Im just going to have a shower. He said, "can you wait and just sit down for a minute". So I did. He then raced downstairs saying, "just wait there". Over the next few minutes, he proceeded to run up and down the stairs excitedly bringing me one little gift at a time. First it was some coloured squares of paper, then some thumb tacks, then a ball of pink wool and finally two large cork boards. It turns out that du...ring my never ending chatter in recent weeks he had picked up on how overwhelmed I was about my upcoming book writing week, and he had heard me say "its like I need a big cork board to arrange all of my thoughts and ideas on". And, so it was! All that I needed in one beautiful thoughtful gift. After that moment of feeling incredibly known, heard and loved I asked, "do you think Ill actually be able write my book" [life long dream], to which he replied, "Yes! I am so proud of you". Dr. John Gottman explains that happy couples know their partners so well that they not only know what their partners life dreams are, they know why they are so important to them, and then they make it their mission to help their partners life dreams come true. #dreaming #dreams #lifedreams #dreamscometrue #gottmaninstitute #gottman #learnwhatitistoreallylove #pinit #corkboard #motivatingmarriages #love #marriagegoals #homeoffice #book #bookwriting #marriedlife #supportivehusband #supportive #thoughtful #blessed #thankfulgratefulblessed

18.01.2022 I truly love my job, as I hope my smile in this pic conveys. I love pulling apart the web of people's lives, their relationships and their suffering. I love finding the source(s) of deep pain and drawing links between a couples current suffering and unhealed wounds from their past(s). More than anything I love this... ... Seeing the heart of the hurt, find true understanding comfort in the arms of the one who has caused their pain. This is how we can overcome relationship traumas. I love when couples take the plunge and throw in everything they've got,to restore their hearts, heal their wounds and breathe new life into their relationships. #marathontherapy #couplesretreat #couplestherapy #couplesgoals #learnwhatitistoreallylove #healing #restoredhearts #novotel #intensivecouplestherapy #relationshiptrauma #marriagetherapy #butistillloveyou #healinghearts #motivatingmarriages

18.01.2022 You are everything they want to be. Every bit of wisdom you share, they hear. Every game you play, they want to play too. You are strong, smart, courageous in their eyes. There is no-one quite like an awesome Dad!... Happy Fathers Day One of the fondest memories I have of my Dad was when I went for my first job interview at 14 years old and he said to me, "you go in there and remember this, you dont need them, but theyd be damn lucky to have you". I believed it then, and to this day I still do. Why? Because my Dad told me so - he had that much faith in me! #fathersday #dadsareawesome #dadsarethebest #dadsofinstagram #dadstuff #dadsanddaughters #dadlife #learnwhatitistoreallylove

18.01.2022 The better you know each others past, the more equipped you will be as a couple to understand and appreciate your differences, the sources of your conflict and the things that are important to you both. Take a little time this week to ask your partner to tell you a story from their childhood. You never know what you may learn about them. This week I learnt about a Chinese dish called fun loot gai that Adrian enjoyed eating as a kid. Next, I got some cooking tips from his... Mum, now lets see if my efforts to recreate it will put a smile on his face Bonus for me, Ill have a lot more fun mucking around in the kitchen than cleaning the house! #houseworksucks #wheniwasyoung #music #lovemaps #gottmaninstitute #childhoodmemories #knowyourpartner #ukulele #clothesline #laundry #relationships #learnwhatitistoreallylove

16.01.2022 LOVE DOES NOT BOAST Love is not excessively prideful. Rather it is characterised by humility, and it causes an appreciation of your partners dignity and beauty. #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #boast #humility #pride #appreciation #partner #dignity #beauty

16.01.2022 LOVE DOES NOT DISHONOUR Love does not shame or disgrace or disrespect. Honouring each other is a continual attentiveness to each others needs. Consider your partners needs before your own. We very easily can take our partner for granted.... #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #dishonour #honour #shame #disgrace #grace #disrespect #respect #attentive #need #partner #takenforgranted

16.01.2022 Podcast Part 3 - Ever wondered about the impact of marital conflict on your children? Ever wondered what to do for them in the aftermath? Ever been left wondering what to do when your child is experiencing their own big emotions? We love having had the opportunity to be able to share our insights on these topics with you all. Huge thank you to Lou and Felix. You guys are awesome! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2hPR7qs7X1Y

16.01.2022 I remember the image of an elderly couple I saw walking in a park in California - their love was so real. Arm in arm they walked, with wrinkled smiles on their beautifully aged faces, and as I do, I pondered for while as I continued riding my bike, what makes a couple like this so happy after so long? Nessie, our little Cavalier turned 64 human years this year! Shes got arthritis, her hearing is impaired, she experiences embarrassing audible flatulence, has episodes of incon...tinence and all the other things that come with aging. I love watching my husband patiently and lovingly care for her each day. So what are some things that we can do as couples to ensure that we are cared for, cherished, loved, wanted and still needed when we turn 64 and beyond? Never stop dating, Itll keep you loving, And stop you from hating. Dont resist, just let it be, Embrace the transition, From ME to WE. #thebeatles #whenimsixtyfour #whenim64 #gottmaninstitute #cavalierkingcharlesspaniel #flatulence #incontinence #aginggracefully #marriagegoals #neverstopdating #learnwhatitistoreallylove #california #bikeride #metowe #arminarm

15.01.2022 When your husband sees a heart shaped rock and wants to tell you about it, wants you both to get photos on it - it is in that little moment that you know, that 12 years on, the love in his heart is still there. As couples therapists, we can only imagine how many broken hearted couples might have walked past this beautiful piece of creation and not even noticed it, or not stopped to share this moment with their partner. Maybe instead, this hardened rock wasnt even on their ra...dar, or it symbolized to them what they felt they had lost. We had such a lovely time on our recent holiday. During one of our business conversations Adrian asked me to share this sentiment: "Weve got to make sure that people reading our posts know that it is not always as perfect as it looks in photos - there are tough times in every marriage that couples need to know that they can work through". This photo was taken at the end of a truly perfect holiday. But, truth be told, on the morning we were preparing to leave for our trip we were tired, stressed, we had loose ends to tie up at work, and we had a underlying problem that had been quietly gaining momentum in our relationship - the feeling of inequitable division of labour! One of us snapped, I cant remember who. Two of the four horsemen came galloping out: Criticism and Defensivenes. The hope of a really enjoyable and intimate time away was all of a sudden in jeopardy. We verbally tussled a bit before both recognizing the need to back down, take responsibility, acknowledge our faults and our vulnerabilities. It was a moment of pride in our relationship - unmanaged stress resulting in conflict at the beginning of holidays has been a longterm pattern of ours. A pattern we proudly conquered this time round! If you are worried that the bad times seem to be outweighing the good in your relationship, or you feel that your hearts are being hardened towards each other, it is our deepest hope that you dont wait to long to reach out for help. #holidays #vacation #heart #couplestherapy #criticism #defensiveness #itsnottoolate #naturalworld #naturalwonders #rockformation #eastcoastaustralia #yamba #learnwhatitistoreallylove

15.01.2022 Staying connected as a couple can certainly have its challenges, especially when youve been together for a long time, when youre busy with work, raising kids and just doing life. There is a way though...check it out below!

13.01.2022 At this time of year we always see an increase in demand for our couples therapy services, and this demand will only continue to increase as we edge closer towards the end of the year. Couples often feel overwhelmed with the idea of starting couples therapy and so we offer packages to make this process as comfortable for you as possible. For our 2 day intensive couples therapy retreat, we organise a hotel room, a lovely terrace, a beautiful bay view and overnight accommodati...on for you and your partner, and then we come to you over the two days to slowly and gently work through your issues to help you heal your relationship and reconnect with your partner emotionally. If you would like more information on this service, please checkout Marathon Therapy on our website, and email or call us to enquire about our retreat package. #couplesretreat #couplestherapy #marathontherapy #intensivecouplestherapy #gottmanmethod #gottman #gottmaninstitute #marriagebootcamp #marriagecounseling #marriagecounselling

13.01.2022 Happy couples have embraced the transition from "me" to "we". Research from the Gottman Institute tells us that happy couples accept influence from one another; they also have a sense of being influential in their relationship. Theyve realised that they are no longer just doing life for themselves, they are doing life with someone, and therefore, for them both to be happy, they need to both have a sense of influence. This "we-ness" also extends to how the outside world s...ees them. Solidarity, unity, togetherness, having each others back, being part of a team - these are all the ways that we can measure "we-ness". For many, this can be a challenging transition, but as long as we are transitioning, we are doing well. How far have you come along this journey of transitioning from "me" to "we"? What changes could you make this week to increase the experience of "we-ness" in your relationship? #acceptinfluence #influencer #couplesgoals #marriage #we #together #togetherwearestronger #gotmyback #team #gottmaninstitute #learnwhatitistoreallylove #me #we

13.01.2022 Love is sometimes just as simple as compassionate understanding. #learnwhatitistoreallylove #compassion #compassionate #committment #understanding #loveis #stressrelief #stressreliever #stress #couples #marriage #loveforever

13.01.2022 LOVE IS NOT PROUD Love does not cause people to have an excessively high opinion of themselves or of their own importance. Admit your mistakes. We cant expect our partner (or ourselves), to attain perfection. Were all human and we all make mistakes. Accept your mistake instead of protecting your ego. #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #proud #humble #excessive #high #opinion #importance #admit #mistakes #expect #partner #perfection #human #accept #protect #ego #sitdownbehumble

13.01.2022 You think youre better than us, dont you Nessie? Sitting all the way up there looking down your nose at us. Judging us. Dont let contempt creep in and destroy your relationship. Nothing good ever comes from elevating yourself above a person that you love. When you feel judgy, when you feel the need to express that you are smarter, more superior, or better than, in some way, the reality is that you have a need that is not being met. Focus on communicating this, instead of ...your disdain for your partner. Dont show Cavalier Contempt. (Sorry Nessie, we love you little dog ) #learnwhatitistoreallylove #contempt #cavalier #cavalierkingcharlesspaniel #superior #superiority #superioritycomplex #judgement #gottman #gottmaninstitute #fourhorsemen #communication #judgy #relationships #couplestips #motivatingmarriages

12.01.2022 7 Marriage Principles in 7 Days #7 #marriages #marriage #motivatingmarriages #marriagecounselling #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #sevenprinciplesformakingmarriagework

12.01.2022 LOVE DOES NOT ENVY Love is not discontented or resentful. Rather it is uncommonly generous and bestows an ongoing degree of forgiveness and kindness. #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #envy #discontented #resentful #uncommon #generous #bestow #forgiveness #kindness

11.01.2022 From the womb of a woman comes child. This act signifies the beauty of birth and bonding of humanity - one person to another. May Mothers Day remind us that human bonding, in whatever form, is essential.... Whether this day brings you much thankfulness, love and joy, or pain, grief and heartbreak, may it have a special meaning that spurs you forth towards a deeper love and bonding. #mothersday #mother #parentchildrelationship #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gratefulheart #connection #bonding #attachmentparenting #appreciation #love

11.01.2022 A short MUST READ for anyone who has ever struggled in any type of relationship. Understanding our own sense of safety and security in the world can fundamentally change the way we do our relationships.

11.01.2022 "When you're in pain, my world stops", was Dr. John Gottman's response to being asked if he could some up his forty years of research on marriage in one sentence. How blessed are we when one person's world stops still, they turn all their attention towards us, and they are moved towards deep compassion, empathy and love, just because they see our heart in pain. #gottmaninstitute #gottman #motivatingmarriages #stressreducingconversation #compassion #empathy #listening #love #iseeyou #ifeelyourpain #protection #pain #notdrunk #nottired #learnwhatitistoreallylove #lovethisguy #brokenheart #healing #healinghearts #blessed #perfectmoment #truelove #abidinglove

09.01.2022 Never ever, ever underestimate the incredible power of empathy with your children, your partners, your family and friends. It is THE essential foundation of every loving, committed and trusting relationship.

09.01.2022 LOVE IS PATIENT Love is able to accept and tolerate delays, problems, and suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. There are no conversations better than those where we patiently take the time to listen to, to engage with, and to really know each other.... #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #patient #accept #tolerate #delays #problems #suffering #annoyed #anxious #conversations #better #patiently #listen #engage

09.01.2022 EMOTIONAL DISCONNECT PT. 1

09.01.2022 I have learnt that love lives, grows and thrives when we continue to shine the light of curiosity on to the ones we love. To the ones you love - commit to remain interested, curious and supportive of where theyve come from, who they once were, who they are now, and who they want to become. #learnwhatitistoreallylove #curiosity #curious #growinglove #intimacy #interested #supportive #thrive #lovemaps #whoareyou #marriages #couplestherapy #couplesgoals #committment

08.01.2022 EMOTIONAL DISCONNECT PART 3

08.01.2022 Decide which rituals to include in your lives together. #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #rituals #connection #ritualsofconnection #holidays #turningtowards #partner

08.01.2022 We cannot stress how important it is for couples to read this.

08.01.2022 LOVE ALWAYS PERSEVERES Love endures through every circumstance. With a divorce rate of almost 50%, it’s encouraging to meet couples who struggle, face difficulties and overcome them with a stronger partnership and a deeper commitment to their marriage. Create a positive vision to work toward when the present moment looks grim, and be willing to sacrifice for a better future. ... #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #persevere #endures #circumstance #divorce #encouraging #couples #struggle #difficulties #overcome #stronger #partnership #deeper #commitment #marriage #create #positive #vision #present #moment #grim #willing #sacrifice #better #future

08.01.2022 Feeling disconnected? Lost your spark? Cant remember what it feels l like to have fun with each other? Dump the kids, choose a play list, sing, drive, stop at random spots and discuss at length why American Pie is such a good song, even though you dont really know what the lyrics are all about. Then when youre 3hrs in to a 6 hr drive its time to pull out all the stops, what was the name of the CD you loved listening to when you were a kid and start playing that, then see ...if you can still sing along to Paula Abdul, "Opposites Attract", whilst at the same time, retaining the respect of your husband. Longterm happy couples know the importance of staying connected. Regular random road trips are one of our favourite rituals of connection. #learnwhatitistoreallylove #coupleshavingfun #americanpie #roadtrip #neverstopdating #playlist #oppositesattract #cd #singalong #couples #ritualsofconnection #gottman #connection

08.01.2022 7 Marriage Principles in 7 Days #5 #marriages #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #sevenprinciplesformakingmarriagework #marriagecounselling #marriage

08.01.2022 What are you in awe of that your partner can do? Make sure you find the time to tell them!

07.01.2022 LOVE IS NOT SELF-SEEKING Love does not demand its own way it cause people concern for the welfare and interests of their partner before their own. Love attempts to increase another persons welfare, without an expectation of anything in return.... #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #selfseeking #demand #altruistic #concern #welfare #interests #attempt #welfare #expectation

07.01.2022 LOVE IS KIND Love has a friendly, generous, and considerate nature. Kind love is having a merciful attitude towards your partner even when they have wronged you. ... #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #kind #friendly #generous #considerate #nature #merciful #attitude #partner

06.01.2022 PRACTICE HAVING A RECOVERY CONVERSATION AFTER AN ARGUMENT Take a short break if you feel overwhelmed or flooded and set a time to process what happened. This will give you both time to calm down and collect your thoughts so you can have a more meaningful dialogue with your partner. #motivatingminds #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #practice #recovery #conversation #argument #short #break #feel #overwhelmed #flooded #process #calm #calmdown #collect #thoughts #meaningful #dialogue #partner

06.01.2022 Decide which rituals to include in your lives together. #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #rituals #connection #ritualsofconnection #holidays #turningtowards #partner

06.01.2022 Our HOPE is to see: ~ Every committed relationship thrive in emotional intimacy and security ~ For partners to work together towards the goals and promises they made to each other when they first committed ~ For partners to navigate through inevitable conflict without damaging each other ~ Relationships to effectively and emotionally nurture children... KERRIE & ADRIAN LUMBEWE Principal psychologists of Motivating Marriages Gottman Method Couples Therapy Gottman Leader of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; Emotion Coaching - The Heart of Parenting; and Bringing the Baby Home

05.01.2022 LOVE ALWAYS TRUSTS Trusting someone means that you think they are reliable, you have confidence in them and you feel safe with them physically and emotionally. Trust is something that two people in a relationship can build together when they decide to trust each other. You can’t demand or prove trust; trusting someone is a choice that you make. Are you there for your partner? Do you listen to and support your partner? Are you sensitive to their problems, worries and fears? ...Do you show compassion and genuinely care about them? #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #trust #reliable #confidence #safe #physically #emotionally #relationship #build #together #decide #demand #prove #choice #partner #listen #support #sensitive #problems #worries #fears #compassion #genuinely #care

05.01.2022 It’s the little things that build trust, friendship, and closeness. Recognise and act on the small, everyday moments that build intimacy in meaningful ways #motivatingmarrigaes #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #home #special #partner #flowers #littlethings #trust #friendship #closeness #moments #intimacy #meaningful

04.01.2022 LOVE ALWAYS PERSEVERES Love endures through every circumstance. With a divorce rate of almost 50%, it’s encouraging to meet couples who struggle, face difficulties and overcome them with a stronger partnership and a deeper commitment to their marriage. Create a positive vision to work toward when the present moment looks grim, and be willing to sacrifice for a better future. ... #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #persevere #endures #circumstance #divorce #encouraging #couples #struggle #difficulties #overcome #stronger #partnership #deeper #commitment #marriage #create #positive #vision #present #moment #grim #willing #sacrifice #better #future

04.01.2022 An important factor in relationship success is knowing about your partner’s inner world; the Gottman Institute calls this idea Love Maps. #important #factor #relationship #success #knowing #partners #innerworld #Gottman #idea #lovemaps #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove

02.01.2022 We love this simple conflict check-list from the Gottman Institute. Are you and your partner gridlocked on conflict issues? If yes, dont despair, get some help from a Gottman trained therapist and learn how to move out of gridlock, into dialogue and effective compromise.

02.01.2022 LOVE IS ALWAYS HOPEFUL Love is optimistic about the future. Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice. Continue to express your appreciation of and commitment to each other by doing ‘small things often’, rather than grandiose things once every couple of years. ... #motivatingmarriages #learnwhatitistoreallylove #gottman #love #hopeful #optimistic #future #happilyeverafter #fairytale #choice #express #appreciation #commitment #smallthingsoften #grandiose

01.01.2022 Couples experience, on average, 6 years of significant relationship distress before getting help from a couples therapist. Think for a moment, of the cumulative effects of this time frame on you, your relationship, your children. We LOVE early intervention We know PREVENTION is easier than cure We know doing a LITTLE work now makes a BIG difference to your future happiness ... So... Tag your loved one, Share with a friend! Be one of the smart ones, Get ahead of the divorce trend! #sixyears #preventionisbetterthancure #divorce #learnwhatitistoreallylove #couplestherapy #gottmaninstitute #earlyintervention #cumulative #relationshipgoals #beattheodds #marriageworks #mustknow