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Narcissists.Fact and Fiction

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25.01.2022 FACTS. Thinking and believing someone is nice without asking questions, questioning their answers and looking deep into their past actions is not the way to start a friendship, a relationship or a business connection can be damaging to you, those around you and the future of your company.. Because.. Nice is not the same as kind. Nice is not the same as honest.... Nice is not the same as being loyal. Nice is not the same as moral. Nice is not the same as ethical. Nice is not the same as trustworthy. Nice is not the same as being caring. Nice is not the same as being fair. Nice is the pretty paper it's wrapped in, it tells you nothing about the gift inside. So stop admiring the pretty paper and take a close look at what's on the inside. A lie doesn't become truth, wrong doesn't become right and evil doesn't become good just because it looks good on the outside. It's ok if you don't know how to move on from someone that others think is `` Nice''. Sometimes the only closure you need is understanding that you deserve someone or something better. Start with something easy.like once you leave do not go back. Cut all contact except through an impartial mediator if it's required. Tell your side of the story, tell the truth, give proof if you can, then walk away. Arguing with a narcissist and their enablers does the opposite to helping you because you are put in the position of being the aggressor by the narcissist . People only see your reaction to the abuse. what they didn't see was the actual abuse. Never forget that the narcissist acts like the sane one, the victim . It's easier for them to make you out as the crazy abusive one , than it is for you to expose them for who and what they really are. Because some people don't want to see the truth. They want and need constant reassurance that what they believe, what they think, what they hear and see is the truth. It's easier to believe comforting lies than unpleasant truths. So those who back the narcissist by agreeing with them and spreading the comforting lies on their behalf not only makes them feel better for ignoring the unpleasant truths but also gives them the misguided idea that they are important to the narcissist and will not suffer the same fate as the current victim is. They eventually will find out the hard way that no one is important to the narcissist except the narcissist themselves , that eventually everyone is expendable, it may take days, weeks, months and in some cases years but sooner or later you will no longer be required and you will be discarded. Eaving.

23.01.2022 FACT.. Narcissists do have many weaknesses and you should know at least some of them to level the playing field when dealing with them. They need people to depend on and to gain supply , they can't exist without the validation and adoration they get from others as well the possessions , ideas, money etc that each source of supply can give them..... They are totally unable to empathise with you or anyone else, its a foreign concept to them and the only time they do empathise or give support to you or anyone is when there is something in it for them..I.e in a group situation when someone needs support they will pretend to sympathise and support them in the open so as to be seen as caring and supportive to give themselves status with the others in the group. They have a very fragile ego and take offence easily. Anyone who offends them becomes the enemy and they will do everything they can to destroy them privately, personally and professionally and do it without getting caught by using lies, half truths, innuendo and gossip and others they manipulate, i.e flying monkeys to back up their stories of victimization or to do the dirty work for them.. They are very insecure and need supply to boost their ego all the time. They constantly have to be told or shown just how great they are at everything they do by those around them. They get bored easily, especially when they are not the centre of attention in whatever they become involved in and will make excuses to to get out of being involved because they have no real interest once the attention is gone. Example ; not the centre of interest?. Not being told how great they are?. Not interested in being involved. To them they don't have any weaknesses , everyone else does but not them, they are perfect, know everything and are better at everything so they see no reason to try to improve themselves. But will use others' weaknesses against them. They are jealous and envious of others for what they have, what they do, and how they are treated. They feel slighted that they don't get the same respect because they know they are better, they feel they deserve to have what others have and will do anything to get it regardless of what it is or who they have to destroy to obtain it. I.e A partner or spouse, a better house, a more expensive car, a more advanced position in the company etc etc etc. Once you can see through all their faking then you stand a chance to beat them at their own game. But be aware and be very cautious because they fight dirty and you have become the enemy. So document everything, record everything, don't get angry, stay calm , walk away and have witnesses . Eaving.

14.01.2022 I was contacted by a regular reader of this page who asked a very interesting question. I recently ran into my ex narc husband who I hadn't seen or heard from for about 6 years. He walked out and left me a broken wreck both emotionally and financially. It took me several years to get my life back together with the help of others who had been through similar dramas and a good therapist. I have a good job, am buying my own home, have a nice car and a wonderful man in my lif...Continue reading

09.01.2022 FACT. The NPD spectrum covers several types the most common are at the top of the scale the PSYCHOPATH then down to the SOCIOPATH and the NARCISSIST. Others are a combination of these three and those with lesser symptoms such as border line cases. All of them have things in common and are either a covert or overt example. The PSYCHOPATH either covert or overt is the most dangerous, that's my opinion anyway and it is backed up by many professions, they have no brakes that stop...Continue reading

05.01.2022 FACTS. Gaslighting. A form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented with the intention of disorienting a victim and steering them on a certain course of action. Some of the reasons they do this: To silence you....Continue reading

01.01.2022 FACT;; There will come a day when your eyes are opened to the truth. It may take weeks , months or even years, but eventually it will happen. Something will trigger this revelation , it can be the smallest thing or something monumental, for each of us it's going to be different and be prepared for those around you to not see the truth, to blame you and put the narcissist in the category of being the VICTIM and of you being the crazy abuser. You will see that this person is n...Continue reading