Pam’s Child and Family Counselling | Counsellor

Pam’s Child and Family Counselling

Phone: +61 424 178 001

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23.01.2022 For working mums...and dads!

21.01.2022 Taking a sense of humour to conflict with your kids helps keep the dialogue open...

21.01.2022 I just have to share...managing modern infant schoolers has become a challenge my own became a preteen way too young!

20.01.2022 Pams Child and Family are now available for face-to-face counselling again in Blacktown. Zoom sessions are still available as well. Some of my services include: - behaviour support plans for children with disabilities, and parent coaching on managing difficult behaviours... - mindfulness-based cognitive behavioural therapy, and solutions-focussed therapy for stress, anxiety and depression - interpersonal therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy for childhood trauma in adults - systemic family therapy to address conflict in families - play, art and drama therapy with children to address anxiety, trauma, social skills deficits, and grief and loss - parenting groups and childrens anxiety mastery groups

19.01.2022 The single most effective way to connect with your child and reduce tantrum frequency and length...while building their trust in you.

18.01.2022 Some good ideas...

18.01.2022 Please be extra patient with yourself and each other. We are all going through very normal reactions to a widespread human crisis. For adults, this can mean we are: - unable to concentrate on tasks - having difficulties organising self/kids even with usual everyday activities and chores... - feeling overwhelmed and drained, or sometimes manic and sleepless - focussed on immediate survival issues (worries about food, employment, health, family wellbeing) - using extra time and energy regrouping as we come to terms with our new normal and what life will look like, such as setting up a home office - feeling confused and lacking direction, feeling helpless - extra kind and caring to each other in the small things - making irreverent jokes to cope with something that is beyond us For kids: - mucking up more than usual, or more withdrawn than usual - physically restless, wanting to fight/wrestle - wanting to escape in TV and video games and books - lots of questions they may or may not be asking out loud - more demanding and/or clingy - feeling lost and uncertain/ lacking direction - unaware of how serious things are and annoyingly blithe about it all Over time these feelings and brain fog will clear as we adapt and as government, school, supermarket and workplace approaches clarify. If you find yourself or your kids with extreme symptoms of crisis, such as hyperventilating, ongoing meltdowns, or continuing to not sleep, please contact a telephone counselling service such as Lifeline or call your GP. Some counselling services like mine are also offering zoom/skype consultations during this time.

18.01.2022 Is your child freaking out about Coronavirus? Are you? Do you and your partner disagree about how to handle things? I am available via Zoom to discuss if you prefer to stay away from personal contact. Contact me to set up an appointment.

18.01.2022 A few things to think about before having difficult conversations with family members...

17.01.2022 Some good points in this. Happy Belated World Mental Health Day!

17.01.2022 So excited to get these in the mail today!

17.01.2022 Yes. This moment of connection is so simple. And doable. It doesnt take much time each day and I know it works!! (I have to make a note here that ADHD and other learning difficulties are not caused by parents lack of attention as seems to be implied in the video...but a brain that is wired with those tendencies is more likely to develop them, and neglect/trauma can cause behaviours that look like ADHD).

14.01.2022 Some holiday ideas for your stay in time!

12.01.2022 So...my child is officially home from school. Im one of the lucky ones who gets to work from home. Begs the question- how to work from home, manage a crisis, and homeschool? My ideas so far are this: - I am not a teacher. As far as I know there are no expectations of me to be one. My childs school has an online learning platform. I will help him access it and well do some work each day. This work wont take nearly as long as it does in school where there are lots of other ...learning activities going on - My child is not on holidays. Nor is he at school. Like me, he is a human being going through something scary that he has never been through before. This calls for special treatment, not business as usual. We will have to be creative to find special treatment that doesnt involve outings, purchases, or lots of nice food. There are plenty of websites with ideas. - As always, children will thrive on structure and predictability in the adults around them. So Ill annoy him by developing a simple routine for our stay at home work/school days. And hell feel like things are more normal because he still has to get up and do what he usually does before school (apart from packing lunch!) - My workplace simply cannot expect the same from me during this crisis. I will be doing less work from home. The government appears to be supporting parents in this stance. So basically...keep it simple. DO hug your children, wrestle them, and plant sloppy kisses on them (unless you/they are unwell!). Do be patient with them. Dont worry out loud to them. They need whatever fills their love bank to be filled to the brim at the moment. So do we. So dont expect more from yourself than you can give. It is enough. YOU are enough.

10.01.2022 THANK YOU To all veterans, peacekeepers and policemen who serve here and overseas, we are so grateful you put yourself in harms way so that we dont have to...

06.01.2022 When my child became a two year old, I remember a day when he was deliberately doing what I told him not to. I withdrew a privilege from him, and he then started acting up. I sent him to time out and he refused to go. I then smacked him on his bum (never hard). He smacked me back and said, you hit me so Im hitting you!. It hit me then that something wasnt working and I would need to find a new approach! I never smacked him again as it just didnt make sense to him because... he knew he wasnt allowed to hit people. I used natural consequences, clear upfront expectations, and emotion coaching when he got upset. Which was great until he hit about 8. Then the usual things stopped working (except withdrawing screentime!). I searched for parenting info about this stage (8-10 year olds) and turned up...nothing. Recently I came across a great book that has helped me work out a large part of what my boy-becoming-a-man needs, and our relationship has improved a lot. Its based on the idea that boys need to be shown respect. Crave it, in fact. A topsy turvy idea that grated against me because I felt like I needed him to show ME respect or he would be a nightmare later on. It isnt the case, the opposite is!!! Would love to hear your experiences, comments and questions.

05.01.2022 Shame doesn’t help people change...

04.01.2022 Sometimes when we get hurt it feels like our partners fault, when its not... https://www.facebook.com/149200885864/posts/10158345101600865/?substory_index=0

03.01.2022 Hmmm...telehealth with kids. Some ideas I have had from recent experiences from seeing children using this medium. 1) Children and young people are used to using computers for school research (ie instant google answers) or gaming (high stimulation, immediate output/input) and typing (kinaesthetic). This is NOT usually an oral/aural/relationship/counselling medium for them- the only interaction they are used to online is fast-paced team gaming and self-promoting streaming/you...tube/tiktok/insta videos. 2) Lots of options for distracting self and counsellor via screen sharing, changing background photos, sending love hearts/emojis during conversations 3) Lack of mirror neuron connection to facilitate genuine connections via telehealth- unless you know someone well, you may well just not get them via telehealth, despite well meaning words. My suggestions is to adapt- use shorter interaction sequences interspersed with activities where the student watches something or produces something and screen shares it. Let their online personality shine. Roll with it, accept interruptions as part of the distractible world of online interaction where texting while talking while tiktoking is totally vibing. It wont be forever. But when were done we will totally get the world our young clients inhabit!!

02.01.2022 Learn to hit the pause button when you feel anger rising inside...breathe before you speak.

02.01.2022 Happiness or wellbeing?