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Peter Haynes Coaching

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25.01.2022 dressage /drs(d)/ noun the art of riding and training a horse where you pay someone lots of money to tell you it is tense.

23.01.2022 Still very relevant in what I coach today even though I wrote this 5 years ago.

22.01.2022 Thought of the day: Learn to correct, not chastise. Strive for improvement, not perfection Give concise directions, not vague demands. Follow the training scale and you will have a horse in balance.... A horse in balance is always a pleasure to ride! See more

21.01.2022 When I coach, I make make no compromises on what I honestly believe is the direction to head towards. I hold to what I value to be good riding principles and set standards that are yet to be achieved by the rider I am coaching. I also hold myself responsible to give this message to any rider I have ever coached and find a way they can understand my message. I hold myself responsible to push a person no more than they can be and no less than they will be. To be kind when I c...an and to be stern when I need to be. I expect that same responsibility in whom I coach, for themselves. Honest and open communication makes for a great team. I also hold myself responsible to keep my own education going forward. To develop a deeper understanding of riding and myself. Hence, when coaching, I do not want to make friends, (always happy when I do, however), I want a better horse person and a better rider. Not only that, someone who may even understand themselves better. I never did do well in popularity contests ;) See more

21.01.2022 Nine years of thorough training of a rider cannot only improve the actual riding but the attitude (and my case, humility) of that rider. The first photo is of me at 22, just starting my eventing career and I was certain I knew it all! *Note the whip in my boot? Funnily enough, I needed it the very next fence and of course it was not readily available, hence a refusal. Gosh I was arrogant :) Nine years further on and much more professional. Alcheringa insisted that I ride quietly and still, to let him do what he did so well!

20.01.2022 Thought of the day: Where I point to (in my coaching) is, where the world's best aspire to arrive at. (and never achieve). Not to just what is going to win you your next competition. :) Yet, remember, always see how far you have come on this journey, not how far to go.

20.01.2022 I actually do love what I do. I enjoy every aspect of coaching, from helping people over come certain fears to imparting my hard earned knowledge. I especially love it when I get unsolicited feedback from people I have helped, as I did this morning via a Facebook message: "Hey. I just want to say thank you for your coaching, I had been struggling with bringing one of my tbs back into work he had been scooting off, and was stupid on the lunge. I started using what you had taught me lunging and in a few lunges he has gone from bucking and rearing to calm at all paces. I rode him and he was perfectly behaved and relaxed. I wouldn't have been able to achieve this so quickly without everything you have taught me." One happy coach that someone has a few more skills to deal with their horses.

12.01.2022 What Story are you Telling Yourself? Or Isn’t Time You Gave Yourself Some CLARITY? Who would you be without your story? Byron Katie... That question is one of the most powerful I have asked myself. I continue to ask it, in many ways about every thought, fear or belief I have. The truth is, (whether we believe it or not), we are all telling ourselves a story and until questioned, we will believe that story, which in actual fact, are our thoughts. I know this as truth as I lived a completely different story 5 years ago, one where I told myself I was worthless and did not deserve to live. I got to the point where I could not look people in the eye, I found it difficult to walk into shops, I barely lived my life and in actual fact, I made plans to end my life. Absolute insanity! Yet, here I am, today, the same person and I enjoy my life, I help many people and am in awe as I watch my 2 young children grow into amazing people. What changed? My story! My thinking was so toxic and I had been depressed so long, that I woke up one day and I actually started to make plans towards ending my life, yet something inside me questioned that thought. I am going to end it today was more or less the thought. Then something in me asked Really, are you sure? Yes was the response. Really? Can you be sure there is nothing to live for? That is how the conversation in my head went for some time. Back and forth, yet I kept questioning any that led me to ending my life. Undoubtedly, that questioning is the reason I am alive today. When I questioned the tragic thoughts of death I felt a reason to live. Alternatively, when I thought about committing suicide, I was sure that I would do it. It was a very enlightening moment for me. The fact is, when I thought about acting out ending my life, I felt more depressed, worthless and even made plans to do so. When I questioned the thought; I was given alternatives. I saw the good things still in my life, my children, my career, my friends and family members. I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. I saw reasons to live. It was from here that I started to understand it was not my life that was the problem, but how I thought about my life was the real the problem. Now, I am not telling you this for any other reason than it happened and it gives you an idea how powerful our unquestioned thoughts are. What has this to do with riding? Well, simply put, until we question our thoughts, we believe them. If your mind is anything like mine, you will have many thousands of thoughts coming and going every day. Some of mine I have come to know as being completely insane thoughts. These are the thoughts that argue with reality. I have become a huge fan of reality over the last 5 years as I have come to see that it is, what it is. No matter how much I would argue with what is, it still is! How often do you hear people complaining about the rain? Guess what? The rain keeps falling until it doesn’t. It is the argument against the rain that causes us the stress, not the rain. We are in actual fact arguing with reality like that all the time; until we question our thoughts and beliefs. I can’t do that I’m too fat You should not say that My horse is too good for me I have heard these and countless thousands of other stories in my personal life and riding career and used most of them at some time in my life as well! Does this mean I am insane? No, due to questioning my thoughts, I feel saner than ever. I have clarity when it comes to moments where I get emotional or put myself under pressure. Moments where I would yell at my children now often end in us all laughing. Moments where I would internally yell at myself for making a mistake, I chuckle and forgive myself. Where I see someone else as the problem, I have come to realise it is my thinking that is the problem. That sounds much saner to me than wanting to kill myself. So how did I gain this CLARITY? In truth the first 12 months of questioning my thinking was very random and I did not realise much of what I was doing. Except that I was starting to improve my life. I read many books on self-improvement and self-esteem. I believed the answer was in raising my low self-esteem and in some ways part of the answer was there. Yet, no matter how much work I did or how many positive affirmations I said, it did not give me what I needed for long. Once the old thoughts, fears and beliefs came back I found I slipped back into feeling worse and even suicidal at times. I asked myself if any of these were really true? So I started questioning those thoughts, fears and beliefs to a higher level. I mean every thought, fear or belief I could bring to mind. Thoughts like I have nothing to offer the world or No one is really interested in what I have to say, would come to me when I was writing my eBook Ride with Confidence. Beliefs and fears that were very ingrained in me, had been there for as long as I could remember. Yet, I questioned them and found under scrutiny they, in reality, held no truth for me. Reality was at the time, people at the time sought my wisdom and actually paid me good money for it. So, I went with reality and finished the book, which now has been read in over 20 countries and around 10,000 copies distributed. I have received many emails telling me how it helped change people's lives. I even received one email saying it saved that person's life, as it came at time when they contemplated suicide. Day by day I scrutinised everything. Thought by thought, fear by fear and belief by belief. I came to realise that I am just like everyone else. No better, no worse and I have been blessed with the wisdom to work through the tragic story I had told myself for most of my life. One of being worthless and unlovable. Even with my biggest wins or successes those beliefs and thoughts haunted the story of my life. From there I have systematised it a bit more (anyone who knows me, knows I love a good system) and I will give it to you now. I call it CLARITY and I will run you through it in more depth after I explain the acronym. C = CHOOSE your thought, fear or belief you want to work on L = LOOK to see if it really is true. A = ASK how it makes you feel and how you act when you are attached or believe that thought/fear/belief R = REFLECT on how you would be or act if you could not think or believe that thought/fear/belief I = INVESTIGATE how many opposite thoughts or beliefs there are T = TEST to see if those opposites are as true or even more truthful than the original thought/fear/belief Y = YIELD or (say) YES to those new thoughts that are true. I find it best to go through the process of writing this down. Even now, when my mind is much clearer, I still find it would trick me into believing things that are not reality. However, when I write it down it slows down the process and I can actually find out what is really there in my thoughts. So, let’s go more in depth. CHOOSE your thought/fear/belief is pretty straight forward. Let’s go with one I had myself, many times on horses and I hear it in lessons and clinics regularly. My horse does (insert resistance or vice here) to annoy me LOOK to see if it is really true. I mean can you absolutely know that it is true? In the case of My horse does (insert resistance or vice here) to annoy me I found it quite funny when I looked at it. I had images of my horse in the paddock talking to all the other horses plotting my downfall. Of course we know that is not true. Horses do not communicate on that level and in fact the whole idea the horse is doing it to annoy you is a concept and horses do not work in concepts. So in this case it is not true. If you get a fear or belief that you absolutely say yes it is true and you are 100% sure, just move one. Though having done this to many thousands of thoughts, fears and beliefs, I have yet to find one that I can say is absolutely 100% true! ASK how your feel and act when you believe My horse does (insert resistance or vice here) to annoy me. I know I got frustrated, took it personally, got angry and even did things to horses that I was not proud of. Then I felt guilty and depressed because of what I had done. I certainly did not like any of those feelings or actions. REFLECT on who I would be if I could not think the thought My horse does (insert resistance or vice here) to annoy me. Here, I would take a long time and really try to imagine how I would act and be. I can imagine I would be more patient and learn more from my horse and how to ride it through the problem. One thing that comes to my mind is I would be more at peace and connected to the horse, which is what we really want, isn’t it? The next 3 parts run in together a little and I will explain the process. INVESTIGATE the opposites. My horse does not do this to annoy me? well, this is absolutely truth as I understand it. I would then go to the next step for this opposite TEST the truth in this new statement. I would write down at least three things that prove this as reality. 1/ I know for a fact horses do not think this way and that they are in the moment and do not think in any way we do 2/ I do not see horses conspiring in the paddock with each other or on social network sites getting ideas on how to annoy me 3/ Horses respond to pressure and release and if I am getting resistance it is more than likely a misunderstanding of those 2 things. I would then move on. YIELD or (say) YES to the new more truthful thought. Reality is, I just accept that thought. Not argue and go back to the more unsettling thought that my horse is meaning to annoy me. I would then move onto another opposite: - I annoy my horse? again I see truth in this. When I think he is annoying me intentionally, I get more aggressive. So I would write down 3 things. Another opposite might be: - I annoy me? Yes! This one is absolutely the golden truth. I do annoy me and everyone else around me when I act out the belief my horse is resisting me on purpose. Again I would write down at least 3 examples of that. Now, this is not about laying blame on me or anything else, it is about seeing reality. I have to be responsible for my thoughts or they will tell me a story that is not real, in the situation My horse does (insert resistance or vice here) to annoy me. It would have me getting frustrated and angry. The new and more truthful story when I ride without that thought in reality, I am a much more capable rider and enjoy the experience more. I take responsibility for every thought, fear or belief that does not give me peace and I work on the CLARITY of them. If you are going to tell yourself a story make sure it’s a good one! Peter Haynes Peter Haynes 2016 www.peterhaynes.com.au Tel: 0417653371

10.01.2022 Thought of the day: Coaching to me is about lending my clients some of my strengths, not pointing out their weakness.

08.01.2022 Thought of the day: If what you are doing as a rider is working, well then, as a coach, I have nothing to say. When, what you are doing as a rider is not working, now, let's start a conversation.

04.01.2022 Found an old photo of Alcheringa and myself. I nursed a very young horse around a big track at Melbourne back in 1995 I think it was. He was a lovely horse to ride over fences and became a very good dressage horse towards the end of his career. A testimony to thorough training :)

02.01.2022 I am having the absolute privilege to coach the most amazing people over 5 days. Racing NSW and Pony Club NSW have coabilrated to have young riders help train off the track thoroughbred horses to jump at the Pony Club Championships in October. Loving being a part of helping the future of the equestrian industry.

01.01.2022 What 10 years of constant work can achieve to your position. First photo from 1990 (I think), yes, the basics are there; I stayed on and got what I wanted. The 2nd photo, year 2000 and I remember this well as I felt total balance and complete ride-ability in Alcheringa. This was not achieved by working just on my position however, it was more my obsession with understanding the feel of a horse in balance under me. My position corrected itself.... Yes, of course I thought about where my body needed to be but it was the whole need to "feel" balance and over-the-back that got me to the 2nd photo. See more