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24.01.2022 Tink: What time are you going to work tomorrow? Me: I'm not going to work tomorrow. Tink *patiently*: Tomorrow is Tuesday. I don't think she'll ever accept that I can actually manage to organise things. ... In case anyone else is concerned, I have a totally pre-booked and pre-organised leave day.

24.01.2022 The girls and I are currently in Hong Kong! I did not realise how hangry Buglet and the Pixie get. V scary stuff if they're not fed often.

24.01.2022 5 years ago today we were getting ready to have a party for my 32nd birthday. The Pixie was very stressled about the balloon situation; she wanted to write '32 today' but nothing I could say could convince her that it would still be perfectly acceptable. I got this instead. I love it. This year it's '37 on Tuesday'. ... I asked the Pixie if I got another balloon. She said no. Not very politely.

24.01.2022 Back To School Eve used to mean an early night for the girls, and a late night for me so I could finish labelling school stuff* (because I always do things last minute). Back To School Eve now means a late night for the girls so they can tint eyebrows, and an early night for me** (no real reason I'm just tired and sore, and I am in the middle of a good book). * and by "finish" I mean "start and finish".... ** which will probably mean a late night doing something else last minute later, but I don't care at this point). #lifewithteenagers #theygrowupsofast #thisishowidoit #lifestylesofthesoreandsleepy

22.01.2022 Today I officially took leftovers for lunch in my doggy lunchbox. So Much Happy.

22.01.2022 This ... so much this! #thingsiwantmydaughterstoknow

22.01.2022 Last night at our Guide unit tonight for 5 out of the 6 girls in the senior patrol (possibly all 6, although we are hoping they will all go on to an older unit). Tink, the Pixie, and the Extra Child are part of this group. I am the back-up leader these days so I don't go often, so I was pretty pleased that this was one of the nights I was needed. I was especially nostalgic because I was there when every one of them came for their first night (except Tink, but I dropped her ...off so that should count for something). These are my babies, and its been a privilege to be a part of their journey. Me: Would you guys like a group picture for your last night? Guides (all 6 in unison): No. Well ... that was a bit of a mood killer. #lifewithteenagers #GuideLeaderMama

22.01.2022 Me: How old is Auntie S? .... Hmmm .... 21. No she can't be? .... 21 this year?! Tink: She's 21 this year. Me: Are you sure? How do you know that? Tink: Well she was 20 last birthday.... Why do they grow up so fast????

21.01.2022 "You guys are adorable. You must have so much fun!" "Yes we do ... or we're scratching each others eyes out. There's no in between." Now I'm trying to explain to the Pixie why people think we're cute, which is funny cos I don't get it either.... We're also arguing over who's fault it is there are FOUR dogs in our bed.

20.01.2022 Me: I am so excited! Buglet is home tomorrow! I miss her. Monkey Butler: Is this just because she cooks dinner? Me: Well ... no ... not just that ... but it is a contributing factor.

20.01.2022 My children haven't been terribly amusing recently. Here are some hilarious tweets about someone else's kids. Turns out kids are even funnier when you're not the one living with them.

20.01.2022 So I accidentally spoke to the principal of the girls' school in bare feet last night. (The rest of me was appropriately professional). I made him promise not to tell the girls. He thought it was hilarious. Tink busted me. I am in so so much trouble.... #lifewithteenagers

20.01.2022 Tink *whispers*: Mum! Mum! Wake up! I have a problem. I'm making curried egg and I have just realised I have no idea what I'm doing. #undomesticgoddess #shegetsitfromhermama

19.01.2022 Pixie: Can we have the rest of the Chocolate Bavarian? It looks sort of gross. Me: Are you just saying that so I say yes? Pixie *surprised*: Yes. #phonecallswithmychildren #thisishowidoit

19.01.2022 True story ... #thingsiwantmydaughterstoknow

18.01.2022 I love my puppy.

18.01.2022 Niece: How many kids do you want? Pixie: Two. Me: I thought you were going to be wealthy by not having kids? Pixie: You can be wealthy and have two kids. Me *seriously*: Very true. It's the third that's the killer.... *silence* Pixie: Hey! I'm the third kid! Me: *lots of giggles* Pixie *witheringly*: That's right chuckle at your own joke. Me: I'm not laughing at my joke. I'm laughing at your reaction. See more

18.01.2022 Pixie *thoughtfully*: Do you ever think about the fact the last time I was bald I was in the womb? ... long pause ... Me: No. I can honestly say, I have never thought about that. Sort of context - we'd been talking about hair styles and movie roles?

18.01.2022 Me: Hang on to that box or it's going to fall.... seriously! Didn't I just tell you to hang on to that box? DB: I got distracted. Tink: The story of your life in a sentence. Me: *giggles*... DB: *sulky silence* #lifewithteenagers #happybirthdaypixie

18.01.2022 A sad looking Pixie appears by my bed ... Pixie: Mama, I got sunburnt. Me: Oh baby, you're sad aren't you. Pixie: *nods*.... Me: Did you come in for a cuddle. *climbs into with me* Pixie: Feel me! I'm hot! Me: You're cooked. Pixie *giggles*: Did you know that cooked means stoned? Me: How do you know what stoned means? Pixie *surprised*: I go to high school! Me: *sigh* Pixie: You're so cute, Mummy! *runs off shouting to the Extra Child* Guess what Mama just said! How can she be so cute and so horribly grown up in one conversation? NB: we did have the appropriate "sunsun safe" and "don't do drugs" talk. You may insert those in yourself.

17.01.2022 I babysat two of my nephews tonight. Apparently all was not well on the home-front though. I got the following message from the Pixie as I was leaving ... "When are you coming home?? I want the chips from the car and Tink is watching weird conjoined twin documentaries pls send help xx"

17.01.2022 As we pull into the carpark at a crowded pub, on our way to a private function ... Pixie *in a panic*: Will they even let us in? Mum! Did you bring your ID? Me: You'll be fine. You're with your MOTHER!... Humph.

16.01.2022 Pixie *grandly*: We will not be governed by The Man! Me: That's nice, but we're still waiting for the man to turn green before we cross the road. Pixie: But, Mama, who says it's a man anyway? Me: Still not crossing while it's red.... Foreign country and an over excited Pixie!

16.01.2022 Buglet: If I wrote a book what do you think my pen name should be? Me: Would you use a pen name? Your name is pretty unique. Buglet: I wouldn't want to be mocked by my fans. Me: If they're mocking you I am not sure they count as fans. Buglet: MOBBED I said MOBBED.... Me: Pretty sure you said mocked. #followyourdreams #numberonefan

15.01.2022 *loud sqawky noises from Buglet's room* Me: Are you ok? Buglet: Yeah. Have you heard of a show called 'Shameless'? Me: No. It doesn't sound very appropriate.... Buglet: It's not. Don't watch it. Brought to you by the child who warned me there were adult themes in 'Deadpool'. #lifewithteengers

15.01.2022 Things I want my daughters to know ....

14.01.2022 Me *shouting out*: Does anyone have a pencil? Buglet *excited*: Yes! I do! Tink: Is it just me or was she a bit too excited? Buglet *suspicious*: Do I get it back? It's the pencil I keep in my room for when I need a pencil. Me: I just need it for 30 seconds. You can draw it for me if you like.... Buglet: It's your project, Mother, you need to do it yourself. My children are weird. #1yearofstitches #astitchintime2017 #stitchcraft

14.01.2022 Old quote from the Pixie: "Mama, you know how when you photocopy something they're all the same? But one will have the smudge? I'm the one with the smudge." She was so pleased with her analysis. And these are the things you learn from your children: embrace your smudges.... #outofthemouthsofbabes

13.01.2022 Things I want my daughters to know ... Do things and always do your best!

13.01.2022 Buglet starts TAFE tomorrow, and turns 18 in under 4 months. Tink has her L's, and starts upper school this week. Mama prediction: It's going to one of those years where they are going to grow up way too fast.

12.01.2022 The awkward moment your daughter tells you she would be a great copycat killer.

12.01.2022 As we're driving to DB's place for dinner ... Pixie: Will Daddy be there for dinner? Me: Yes. That's why we're going to Daddy's place for dinner. Pixie: Oh.... You can't make this stuff up.

12.01.2022 Me: Girls! Look what I got!! Buglet: That it is literally the lamest thing you have ever bought. Me: I love it. I'm going to put salad in it for lunch. Tink: You should have got more. Pie would love it for his lunch at Kindy. Me: I'm so happy.... #lifewithteenagers

11.01.2022 "MUM guess what you know that big tree thing that never grows stuff on it it did"... Its an olive tree in case anyone is wondering. I spent years hoping I could convince her to be into gardening. I'm hoping this is a sign! #textsfromtheteens

11.01.2022 Me: I don't care how late it is, how hot it is, how rainy it is, or any other objection you have, you *will* get out and have your photo taken next to every Big Thing we see and you will *not* complain, that is part of the point of this trip. Buglet: Except people. Tink: Yeah. It'd be weird to walk up to tall people and say "can we get a picture with you, Mum wants to take photos of us with big things". Buglet: Unless we know them *thoughtful pause* we should have had our pho...to taken with Trev at the airport this morning. He's tall. I think they're making fun of me.

11.01.2022 Tink: What would you say if I told you I wanted an undercut? Me: That it's your hair and you can do what you like with it ... I will hate it though. Tink: You're a good mama bear. You let us make our own dumb decisions. Anyone else wondering WHY she's mutilating her hair if she knows it's a dumb decision?

10.01.2022 #1 NT nephew: I love Christmas. Me: I love Christmas too. NTN: Christmas is a time of joy. Me: Yes it is. Especially cos you are with us. NTN: And Christmas is a time of too much sugar.... Me: Yes, yes it is. Christmas is a time of joy and too much sugar. At least he said "joy" first! #outofthemouthofbabes

10.01.2022 Tink has just informed me that her favourite piercing place has a 2-for-1 deal on nose piercings for Valentine's Day. The world is a mysterious place.

10.01.2022 Me: I'm leaving work now. The Middling One has a suspected broken toe. And it's her other foot. It's not even the one with the chipped bone. Monkey Butler: Take her home and have a drink. Me: What? With my sixteen year old? Monkey Butler: Yeah. It won't matter she's already LEGLESS. *moment of silence*... Me: This is going on the blog. Dad jokes. I can't escape them at home or at work. #punny

10.01.2022 I've said it before and I'll say it again ... Dear Village, You rock. Most of the time they're pretty awesome and that's thanks to you. Cath xxx

10.01.2022 Christmas ... cats ... bad jokes ... feels like it belongs here ...

09.01.2022 Buglet: If you die unexpectedly young ... Me: Hey! Buglet: Before you're planning on it ... Me: So before I'm 112? Buglet: Yes. When you're 60ish. I'm going to take your books and turn them into a library. Or one of those places you swap books.... Me: I like that. Why do I have to die young though? Buglet: Ok ... when you move out of home ... Me: That's *not* what I meant! See more

09.01.2022 Tink and I were telling DB about our east coast road trip ... Me: I *love* big things! DB: I - Tink (interrupting): Don't, Dad, just don't.... Me: I don't know what bothers me more - that you were about to be dodgy in front of our daughter or the fact she knew what you were going to say before you said it. DB: Hey! I didn't say anything. Me: Tink, don't tell your father off for things he hasn't done yet, it upsets him. See more

08.01.2022 Buglet *sternly*: Mother, you're home so late Flip-Flop gave up on you. She went to bed in my room Me: Hello my puppy. I missed you! I'm sorry I'm home late. Buglet: She was very sad. Me: Shhh. I'm talking to my puppy.... Note the children weren't sad in my absence? This is why you need a dog when you have teenagers!

08.01.2022 "We were good today weren't we, Mama. We were annoying, but that's better than fighting." It was definitely one of their hurricane days, but there were very good and pretty entertaining.

08.01.2022 Have I actually explained we're adventuring? Tink and the Pixie were on a school sports tour to Singapore so Buglet and I went too for a few days before meeting them. We're now in Hong Kong on a family holiday. I've *always* wanted to take them to Disneyland so MASSIVELY excited to have crossed that off the bucket list.... Check out #hobblingholiday on Instagram if you want to see pics! The plan is to blog ... but ... well ... you know what I've been like this year. PS "hobbling holiday" thanks to Buglet's dodgy knee and tail bone, Tink's broken toe (she's still on crutches), and I am just a hobbling mess thanks to ankylosing spondylitis (although I'm v v v thankful that other that needing to nap random places and aching feet it hasn't really messed with this trip!).

08.01.2022 Tink: Mama, I burnt my hand. Me: That's not cool baby, how did you do that? Tink: In cooking class. Me: You picked up a hot saucepan didn't you? Tink: Yep. Dish from the oven.... Me: You're an idiot. And there is no doubt you're my daughter! *giggles from both of us* To redeem us both, I watched Tink leader at Guides tonight and my heart burst with pride. She's fabulous (in my totally biased opinion), but it is v v funny seeing your mannerisms used by your child. #undomesticgoddess #shegetsitfromhermama #leaderskid

07.01.2022 Things I want my daughters to know ...

07.01.2022 Tink: My shoulder is worse. Tink: I look like a leopard. Me: But you're my leopard and I love you. Me: PS will take you to the doctor. ...... Tink: I showed my friends your text. They think you are cute. Me: *angry eyes*. #textswithteens

06.01.2022 Followed by the awkward moment you wake up and realise that your dog has then stolen your spot on the couch ...

05.01.2022 Me: Who's got the best mama ever? Buglet: I feel like I should say the beckham kids but I'm going to go with you. #textswithteens #shegetsitfromherdaddy

03.01.2022 Have I mentioned I'm spotty? Apparently I am allergic to something. Possibly teenagers. 5 years ago we had some weird chicken poxy virus .... Me: Has anyone else been sick at school since you all had those spots?... Tink: None of the kids. I don't know about the teachers.* Pixie: Ms Coleman's been sick. But that was the flu. Buglet: Who's Ms Coleman? Tink: Do you mean from the Karen books? Pixie: Yes Really. The gap between the Pixie and reality was getting every day. Maybe I should ask her what she thinks is causing my spots?

03.01.2022 *Buglet stalls at traffic lights* Me: Don't stress. It's all good. We've all done it. Tink/Pixie: I haven't! Me: Quiet from the peanut gallery.... .... *A#&hole beeps from behind* Me**: If he does that one more time ... Pixie: What? Me: I'll ... I'll ... well I don't know what I'll do but he'll be in a lot of trouble. I'll use my Mum Voice. Tink/Pixie/ExtraChild: Oooooh. Do it! Do it! Do it! **Insert unfamily-friendly road rage explosion here. Me. Not Buglet. Seriously! What sort of horrible person beeps at a learner?!??! #travelswithalearnerdriver #lifewithteenagers #letthearsepass #mamabear

03.01.2022 Good point! I may have to use this line

02.01.2022 Miss 7: I'm bored. Tink: Hi bored, I'm Tink. I think this may mean Tink is officially an adult.

02.01.2022 This is one of the many reasons I'm dreading the Little One learning to drive.

01.01.2022 Tink *enthusiastically*: Today might be the day we get to play in the rain. Me *much less enthusiastically*: Won't somebody think of the parents? #soccermum

01.01.2022 Me: Why is there a Pixie asleep in my bed? I thought she'd gone home with the Extra Child? Buglet: They're both here. The Extra Child is asleep in my bed.