Raw and Completely Beautiful | Personal blog
Raw and Completely Beautiful
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18.04.2022 Grateful to my beautiful sis Belinda who bought me a ‘pink seat’ at the cricket Get on board if you’re sitting around in your boardies and thongs while throwing back a few beers Seriously! Breast cancer services provided by the McGrath Nurses (and all our nurses in Aus) do amazing work, and I have needed them many times. They are a rare breed who are just quietly going about their business and they need our support!... They can then support patients like me https://www.pinktest.com.au/
29.03.2022 Allow yourself to move slow. Slow is not lazy, it’s restorative. Take a few deep breaths. Gift yourself the healing power of oxygen.... Smile at yourself in the mirror. Acknowledge the goddess you are. Sit in silence. Nurture inspiration through the stillness. Stand barefoot on the grass. Feel the grounding through nature. Take a few minutes for yourself today. Remember all you are grateful for. There is magic in being slow. And you have the wand
12.03.2022 Pretty damn happy to read the words no further progression and no new lesions! Woo hoo Today is a good day ... Happy freaky Friday!
25.02.2022 It’s a ‘wear your fave Wonder Woman tshirt’ kinda day
08.02.2022 51 feels alright! Exciting actually What a gift to do another lap around the sun with my goggles on, scarfe flowing and my face smashed against the gale force breeze Blessed I am. Grateful I embody
26.01.2022 This day six years ago.. there’s some horse race on I think It reminds me of the day they took my boob and the adventure began. I don’t even recognise that girl anymore, except for the rebel part. I refused to take off my pink nails before surgery!... She has grown, that girl. She is doing things she never dreamed of. She is softer, and yet stronger. She is most definitely wiser, passionate and purposeful. And above all, grateful
24.01.2022 This woman is my hero. She is ~ was ~ my beautiful Mum She flew planes.... She played piano in theatre productions. She married a farmer. She couldn’t fall pregnant for five years, then had me. She grew up in the strictest family and hid the alcohol at the wedding. She worked hard. She adored my Dad. She was elegant. She loved her evening Brandy and Soda. She loved playing tennis on Tuesday afternoons with her best friend. She taught me to sew. She was a wonderful cook. She was loved by many. She fell ill. She lost a breast. She wore a wig. She taught me to ‘take every opportunity’ while she struggled to breathe. She surrendered to death when I was only 16. Every time I don’t feel brave, I think of her. And then I remember what is in my blood
22.01.2022 21 reasons why you should Love the Skin You’re In: You will smile in the mirror You will laugh in photos You will stop crying... You will find your joy You will sleep better You will improve your relationships You will find purpose You will have more energy You will bounce out of bed You will feel calmer You will improve your health You will eat better You will begin to heal You will attract new opportunities You will attract new people into your life You will worry less You will trust more You will tap into your intuition more You will heal You will build self confidence You will know your worth All that makes it worth it, don’t you think? I would love to help you with that list, and more. We start Monday. Click below for all the deets https://mailchi.mp/05e394242b30/love-the-skin-youre-in
21.01.2022 My sun is your sun My moon is your moon We walk together Connected and entangled In blood and bone... In smiles and summer breezes. My ocean is your ocean My desert is your desert We tiptoe together My footsteps follow yours Heart mirroring heart In flyaway hair and crystal waters. My breath is your breath My sky is your sky We dance together Flowing in sway With bare feet in soil and dust. My earth is your earth My stars are your stars We sing together Falling deeper Hands entwined into one world.
21.01.2022 The cup of calm before the Christmas storm! I love Christmas, but I have to say leading up to this one has been a bit strange and stressful. How many can we have in the home, will we go back into lockdown, it’s all too hard, and guess we won’t be seeing them then, have all been the topics of conversations in the lead up.... It’s certainly been a bit tricky for most. I think many of us will be glad when this year is over. Hopefully next year we will all be able to spend it with our loved ones as usual. Sending big love out to all those who’s travel plans had to be cancelled, and for the traditional big roast lunches that will be shared via screens. I’m grateful that we will have all our kids together and will be able to share the day with a few members of our extended family. Wherever you are and whoever you share Christmas day with I hope it is a peaceful one and that you are able to send a message to those you can’t be with. Here’s to an amazing 2021 on the way with much happiness for all. Merry Christmas
20.01.2022 Five years ago, a certain little horse race meant something very different to me. While everyone was sipping champagne, taking the day off for long lunches and dusting off their fascinators as they either celebrated or commiserated the race that stops the nation, I had surgery. This was the day of my mastectomy. I went to sleep with two boobs and woke with one, and a few less lymph nodes.... I remember feeling completely astonished at how quickly something a part of me my whole life, that defined my femininity, was gone. All that remained were the bumps under my skin of my ribs and one giant wound that formed a straight line from the centre of my chest to the side. No more cleavage. No more symmetry, and no more lump. I don’t feel sad when I think of that day. Instead, I look back at the girl who lay in that hospital bed not knowing all she was about to go through and I whisper.. You did it.
20.01.2022 Turning 50 is the truth bomb I needed in my life. I’ll show my tummy, if I want. I’ve had to accept that my abs are now hidden. I’ll show my thighs, if I want. I’m done with holding myself back while I thought they were ugly.... I’ll dance more in public. (Ok, so I’ve always done this - but I’ll do more!) I’ll go bare feet more often. I’ll spend more time alone when I need to. Guilt free. I’ll soften more, and embrace my feminine. I won’t give two fux what others think of me, that’s not my problem. It’s theirs. I won’t sweep the floor, if I don’t want to. I’ll be silent more. I’ll allow the magik. I’ll accept all that is. And now, I’m free.
19.01.2022 .. And in true form, the annual pic with my favourite humans always starts out so well..!
18.01.2022 If you or someone you know are considering breast reconstruction surgery, FMC are holding an online forum this Wednesday night at 6.30pm. You can watch the livestream or access the link anytime after it goes live. It is available for anyone to watch, regardless of where you are receiving your treatment You might also see me tell my reconstruction story! ... Message me if you would like any further details. See details to access the link in the flyer below
17.01.2022 Have you ever stopped to consider where you’re at in life, as in surviving or thriving? Do you dread the morning when you put your feet on the ground to get through another Groundhog Day? Or maybe you’ve done the hard yards and feel like you’re about to jump into a new opportunity and want to make sure you don’t fail.... You’ve probably been working your butt off and give everything you’ve got for everyone else, and there isn’t much left in your tank. Self-care feels like a dirty word, and by the time you have the opportunity to do something for yourself you are too exhausted and can’t be bothered. That was how I lived my life for many years. I thought I was doing all the right things. I was working on myself, working long hours, shoving life lessons down my kids throats to ensure their success, and enduring the daily grind because I thought that was how life was supposed to be. I thought I was playing the game of life like a boss, until my diagnosis with breast cancer. I upped my ‘survivor’ MO more than ever before. Afterall, I was an expert at it from the age of 12. At that point, I knew that if I was going to be a true survivor and move forward, I needed to live differently. That’s when I learnt to shift from constantly being in survivor mode, to thriving. Everything changed in my life to the point of me being here, now, writing this post! It hasn't always been easy. There have been some close calls teetering on the brink between being brave and broken. But it has been completely worth it. I learnt to realise that this is my life, I don't want to fit in a box and I no longer wanted to be a slave to everything holding me back. So I stepped out of survival mode, and launched into thriving. Now I get to help others do the same. It is an absolute privilege to be trusted by women to work with them as they also move towards thriving. Lucky girl, I am. I developed a quiz to help others figure out where they are at in their own lives. Some of the women who have completed it have been surprised to realise that they are further ahead than they thought! If you are interested to see where you are at too, you can check it out here: https://bit.ly/3l3PE0V This photo was taken by my beautiful friend who left this earth earlier this year. She wanted to snapshot that moment in my life as I chose to move forward and thrive. Lucky girl, I am.
16.01.2022 This thing called life is no smooth gentle drive around the block. It's a bit more like a four-wheel drive climb over the rockiest, steepest mountain with a sheer drop on the other side, and then you lose a wheel and break your axle! You packed the car with the anticipation of enjoying the day out, only to be faced with disaster! Then in the midst of all the chaos, without really knowing how things would turn out, you found a way through your challenges and ended up laughing ...about the events of the day and reflecting on what you will do differently next time. We all have good intentions, and sometimes things go wrong. Whatever happens, we can be sure to follow up one adventure with another. Pack your picnic hamper, campers, and strap yourself in. Embrace the ride!
16.01.2022 How I feel when I receive messages from my circle of goddesses who have had a breakthrough... One of these beautiful girls has noticed that she’s attracting attention from others who are drawn to her! Another has learned to ditch the guilt and realise her worth and now steps into each day feeling good about herself.... As we approach the last few days of the 21 day course ‘Love the Skin You’re In,’ as a group we have enjoyed sharing our stories and supporting each other on the coaching calls. I can’t wait to see what happens for them next. Now is the time to create the change you want in your own life, and let go of everything that has held you back. If you start now, next year will look very different for you! Now is also a great time to work with me as I will be making some changes in what I offer during 2021. Throughout November I have only five spots available for 1:1 coaching sessions. Early bird gets the worm, so to speak! Message me to secure your time, and arrange a quick chat to answer any questions you have I look forward to receiving your messages about all your breakthroughs!
14.01.2022 Today was a monumental day. One month short of my five year anniversary since diagnosis, my journey has come full circle. Thanks to my beautiful friend @griffithsawen who arranged this very special gift for me, I had 3D tattooing of a nipple added to my reconstructed breast.... This is the final little piece to complete my patchwork quilt that is now my body. I have always accepted my physical changes along the way, but didn’t realise how much this would mean to me until my friend, who had also been through this experience, insisted I do the same. I cried. After losing my breast five years ago and going through major physically changing reconstruction surgery, I can now have some sense of normality when I look in the mirror. I sometimes forget all I have been through, am often consumed by managing the side effects I now live with and I am conscious of how I dress, as the imperfections are obvious. To me anyway. Today I have been given back a big piece of my feminine identity. Something that we as women are born with, but some of us lose. Only I need to be at peace with what is, and only I can bring that for myself. But with people like my friend who has helped me reach a new level of acceptance, all is well in my world. I needed my Wonder Woman t-shirt today, it’s my favourite, given to me by my bestie years ago and is a reminder to be brave. Good things happen after every challenge. Today was a good thing.
14.01.2022 Example A of why we should come home to ourselves, strip it all back and give ourselves permission to heal. This is 7 weeks of my rice experiment. Unleashing on the ‘hate’ jar has seen it go mouldy.... Saying I love you to the ‘love’ jar has preserved it. There are three tiny spots of mould in there that have not grown any further. What you feel and express is what you experience. We have all been through huge things in life, but how you choose to allow yourself to interpret those events will play out in your days. Get real with yourself, be the observer of your own thoughts and behaviours. There is no right or wrong, only your desire to live your life whichever way you prefer. Learning to accept all you are and all that is, is the first step towards emotional freedom. This is the reason why I’ve put together my little FREE 5 day workshop for women called LOVE THE SKIN YOU’RE IN. It’s for women who are done with feeling guilty and less than. It’s for women who are done giving all of themselves to everyone else and have nothing left for themselves. It’s for all the women out there who are ready to take back their power. We start Monday, and I’d love you to join me! We’re doing some work, but we’re also gonna have a little fun! https://mailchi.mp/05e394242b30/love-the-skin-youre-in Can’t wait to see what juicy transformations happen!
12.01.2022 I found a piece of my own treasure the other day https://rawandcompletelybeautiful.com//08/11/id-pick-dais/
12.01.2022 This is why I do what I do. See the jars? Over the last three weeks I have been conducting my own rice experiment. One jar is labelled ‘love’, the other ‘hate’.... While holding the hate jar, I have unleashed negative energy and scathing, angry words towards it. When holding the love jar, I have shared words of love and positivity while exuding the energy of joy until I felt giddy. After three weeks, the ‘hate’ jar is full of mould. The ‘love’ jar has only two tiny spots of mould in it. Given that our emotions, thoughts and actions determine our energy and vibration, your environment (body) will respond accordingly. What environment are you creating? I help women transform from unleashing the crap, to inhaling the beautiful. For health’s sake, give yourself permission to do the work. Your body will thank you for it. I’m here, ready to help you
12.01.2022 I’m not always in my perfect flow. I’m also not always the perfect human. None of us are, but we are always our perfect selves in any moment as it is right then.... It’s rare, but I still sometimes have days when the anxiety is real. This year particularly has seen me feel overwhelmed on several occasions and I have had to seriously step up the self care practice. I have needed more time alone, and less noise. When my nervous system is peaking, I recognise the signs and do what I need to do, just for me. Sometimes that has also meant that I haven’t always been the perfect partner, mum, friend or colleague. But, I acknowledge it all and I accept that I have always been my perfect self, as much as I could be, in each of those moments. I don’t punish myself, that only hurts me and those around me. Our relationships depend upon us loving and forgiving ourselves. As the Sia song ‘Higher’ says, Can’t love me unless you love you too. I am beautifully incomplete, but I am also raw and completely beautiful. And so are you
07.01.2022 Last night I wrote letters to my parents. It was the Day 11 task in my online course, acknowledging how our environment helps shape our beliefs and when we connect with our inner little selves, we begin to heal. I have written many times to my Mum to say how much I miss her and that I wish she hadn’t left me so young, but I was looking forward to observing what would fall on the page.... This time was different. This letter showed me how far I have come, and how much I have healed, but there is still more I am willing to shift that I have held onto. I found myself writing, I don’t know how to be an adult with a mother, even though I am one myself. I have carried on being super independent since the age of 12 and now at almost 50, I still am. I don’t feel alone, or lonely or empty, but I do feel the absence of connection to my beautiful Mum. I may have healed from the all consuming grief but there is still a space in my soul that can never be filled. There is only love, and sadness, that seem to merge as one..
06.01.2022 My Dad, circa 1950s on a special piece of family land at Streaky Bay, South Australia. He didn’t know my Mum yet and was still working the family farm with his Father. I wonder what he was thinking as he stood on the beach this day. I could ask him, but he probably won’t remember. ... He forgets many things these days, but can be forgiven in his amazing 88 years. I wonder also, if he knew the kind of father he would be. He didn’t have it easy growing up, nor in his adulthood. He was the only son with three sisters and there was a certain expectation of him. When he became a father to me, he broke the mould and created a bond that is unlike any other. He has only ever been kind, loving and supportive. I was his little sidekick on our farm, his constant companion until we left when I was eight. After we moved to the ocean he was at all the netball games as he cheered from the sidelines. When I rebelled and he caught me smoking and drinking at 15, he calmly cast his steely glare in my direction as my resistance crumbled and I learned of consequences. He taught me to drive, he attended all the concerts, he gave me opportunities, and he taught me to survive. When I was 16 and my Mum died, as he put one foot in front of the other, he taught me resilience. Now, he sometimes says he got it all wrong. He wishes he could have done more. I tell him he has always been enough. As far as I’m concerned, he changes his clothes in a phone box. Blessed, I am to have him. Happy Father’s Day, Dad
05.01.2022 Cheers, Big Ears!! I’ll be hanging in the kitchen, cooking up a storm. Merry Christmas to all.... On this day five years ago I had just finished my second round of chemo. Five years clear, five extra years of Christmases. I WILL be celebrating the bleep out of that.. although with just 1.5 glasses.. cause that’s my tolerance these days! There may may or may not be some fam spam popping up that I will unashamedly be bragging about
04.01.2022 Throw back to 2011. I was waiting to board a flight from Bali to return home after a girl’s trip with a dear friend. This ME had just turned 40, was thinner than now, fitter, tanned, had just fallen in love for reals, was studying and working, and doing all the things for her kids.... It was several years before cancer. She was also blissfully happy, she thought. This old me also sought her happiness in all of those external things, because the reality was she didn’t really accept herself. Even as the bubbliest girl in the room, she just wanted to be different because who she thought she was wasn’t good enough. She didn’t really think she deserved true happiness, and was expecting it all to turn to shit. My new man (now husband) called me on it one day and said, Stop trying to sabotage this. It was a-ha moment of realisation of what I had allowed myself to accept in the past, and the choices I made. It was also an insight into how childhood trauma had played out in my life, although I still wasn’t ready for that lesson. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? Breast Cancer created the complete deconstruction of the old me, and was the catalyst for my transformation into self acceptance, self worth, happiness and purpose. I chose to allow it all, rather than resist. The pain, the appointments, the treatment, the surgeries and the vulnerability. My deeper knowing and sense of trust kept me going, along with endless support from my loved ones. And it has been worth it. Cancer didn’t break me, it created me
04.01.2022 Six years ago today, I was diagnosed with my FIRST breast cancer experience. I waited far too long to check my boobs. I was too busy. For years I religiously underwent testing every year because of my Mum and Grandmother’s history. ... Then life got in the way, I ignored my intuition and when I finally did, it was 3 years overdue and they found a 4.5cm lump. The margins weren’t clear. It had spread to my lymph nodes, so surgery, chemo and radio followed. So many surgeries, menopause, medication, side effects and life altering permanent side effects became my ‘new normal’. This year, I received my SECOND, Stage 4 diagnosis. The jury is still out on that one, cause I don’t accept the doom and gloom. My point is, if I had checked sooner, the experience and the outcome may have been completely different. It’s October. PLEASE, check your boobs This is my friend Mel. She has also experienced breast cancer. So have some of my other my dearest friends. Too many of us, and too many people you know I’m sure. PLEASE, check your boobs Your health is more important than whatever keeps you busy Reach out if you have any questions, I’m always up for a chat! #breastcancerawarenessmonth #breastcancerawareness
02.01.2022 Week 4.. What’s your vibe today? #chooselove... Feeling even more passionate about how I help women change their lives
01.01.2022 #bliss #earlymorning #sabeaches #shotoniphone
01.01.2022 My teeny weeny gift to myself today This is tattoo number 8 after having my reconstruction tattoos, numbers 6 and 7 completed today with some final tweaks! No pun intended Thanks to my beautiful friend @griffithsawen and @pinklotustattoo for making this happen, and for making time for my little extra piece today ... It has been so wonderful to look in the mirror after 5 years of seeing one boob, to now see two. My patchwork quilt, that is now my body, is complete!
01.01.2022 Look how far I’ve come, and from where Living, being, frightened and brave. I hold the world in my hand every day And choose to nurture to measure.... I am both free and captured In all that is. In my unknown self, it brings me home I am all things. Not searching Instead allowing. It is a knowing, and becoming In all that is unknown. : my collage I created when doing @lieselarden ‘s amazing creative challenge
31.12.2021 Sit in a different seat once in a while. Observe from a different point of view. Explore the possibilities from outside your own biases.... You just might find a new level of understanding, answers and opportunities. Because there is always another way to look at things
22.12.2021 You will never hear me say that I hate this hospital. Once upon a time I couldn’t walk in without a full PTSD somatic response as my mum died here. Now, I have nothing but respect, admiration and love for the amazing people who work here with a passion to help people like me live as healthy as possible for as long as possible.... Almost six years to the day since the doctors and nurses have given hubby and I as much time as we’ve needed at every appointment to support my choices and answer our questions. They work under difficult conditions with an over crowded system and funding cuts. I am grateful for every smile they beam at me as I know they put their own pressures aside. True service. Bloody heroes they are Today is mammo and lymphoedema check up day. Yep, I’ve waited and there’s a lot I could be doing, but right now I just want to publicly say a massive thank you to the peeps that make this place great and have my best interests in mind Check ya boobs ladies
12.12.2021 Today was a milestone. It has been 7 months since I’ve been able to walk for exercise. I’ve missed it, especially my beloved early morning beach walks.... But now I start the MK II rebuild. Again. The days of running and boxing are done, and now it’s yoga and walking for restorative healing practice Get ya boobs checked ladies
