Counselling in Context | Counsellor

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Counselling in Context

Phone: +61 419 645 420

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25.01.2022 There is no such thing as bad behaviour, but all of us can act in ways that’s aren’t so adorable when important needs or feelings get too big. Anxiety can drive... all sorts of behaviour - aggression, resistance, avoidance, defiance. This behaviour is not a reflection of the type of kids they are or the parents we are. It is a reflection of a brain that has registered threat. This can happen for all sorts of reasons, including stress, worrying thoughts, too much noise, feeling disconnected or separated from their important people, feeling tired, hungry or being asked just a little more of than they can give in that particular moment. What they need is for us to help them bring that brain back to safety. We can do this by being a calm, steady presence, giving them a cuddle if they want, using a calm gentle voice. The only thing we can do is manage the incident, keep them and other safe, and ride the wave until they feel calm again. When that happens, their ‘thinking brain’ will be back online and we can talk to them about what’s happened, how to put things right, and what to do differently next time. This isn’t always easy because their anxiety will trigger ours, (especially if it’s the fight part of fight or flight). Sometimes we will be able to stay calm, sometimes we won’t, and that’s okay. This isn’t about perfect parenting - kids don’t need that. What they need is parents who are good enough. Every time we can see their behaviour for what it is, stay calm and steady until the storm passes, preserve our connection with them, we will be filling their ‘resilience cup’, preserving our capacity to influence different behaviour next time (eventually), and strengthening the neural pathways they need to find calm during anxiety or big feelings.

21.01.2022 #selfcare #lookafteryourself #beaware #mentalhealthmonth #mentalhealthmatters #rachelwilkinsoncounselling #mentalhealth

21.01.2022 Context context context!!!

18.01.2022 https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=4dU15CGkFzo

13.01.2022 What types of rituals do you partake in? Credit: Norton & Gino.

12.01.2022 https://www.andrewclarkecounselling.co.uk

11.01.2022 With no weekend sport and a Term 2 like we've never had before, family routines are very different to what they were a few months ago. If you're not sure where ...to start with your new routines, raisingchildren.net.au has some advice. The best part? There are no rules about how many or what kind of routines you should have. Three key features of effective routines 1 Well planned: in a good routine, everyone understands their roles, knows what they need to do and sees their roles as reasonable and fair. 2 Regular: good routines become part of everyday family life. 3 Predictable: in a good routine, things happen in the same order each time. Find out more about routines including the benefits for children and parents and routine ideas for kids of different ages below. While social distancing rules some options out, we will get through this and be able to add these ideas in future. https://raisingchildren.net.au//safety-and/family-routines

06.01.2022 Big feelings can hijack thinking and problem solving leading to family members treating each other in ways that aren’t always consistent with their values and b...est intentions. Relationships matter and relationship repair is an important part of life. How do you reconnect after big feelings have taken over? #familytherapy #familytherapist #psychologist #apology #sayingsorry #relationships #relationshipsmatter #family #familylife

05.01.2022 Everyone should stay at home unless you have an essential reason to leave. Visitors to your home should also be limited. Visit http://covid19.qld.gov.au for more info. #StayHomeSaveLives #COVID19 #FlattenTheCurve

04.01.2022 Anxiety can come from anywhere and often makes no sense at all. This is because anxiety is a primitive, instinctive response, not a rational one. It’s driven by... a strong, beautiful, healthy brain that is doing what brains are meant to do - protect us from threat - and separation, humiliation, exclusion all count as threats. . Brains are ‘do-ers’ before they’re thinkers (but they are excellent at both) so they’ll act first to get us safe, then decide later whether or not the response is warranted. Sometimes this can save our lives and sometimes it can cause unnecessary anxiety. . The amygdala will respond in less than one-tenth of a second. This is much faster than the time it takes our brains to create a conscious thought or feeling. In this time, it can send the ‘thinking brain’ offline so it doesn’t get in the way of a quick response by organising a committee meeting about possible strategies. By then, the fight or flight neurochemicals are surging through us as though they have nowhere else to be. The feelings that come with this feel awful and will fuel anxious thoughts (‘I feel as though something bad is going to happen, so I think something bad might happen’), which fuels anxious behaviour - avoidance (flight), aggression (fight). . When anxiety is at full throttle, we have to speak to the primitive, instinctive part of the brain. With the thinking brain on leave, we have no other option. Do this by encouraging strong, steady breathing, and be ready with warmth, validation and connection. (‘I know this feels big for you.’) And breathe. It's our most basic and powerful form of self-support. When breathing is strong and steady, so are we, but it’s the first to go when anxiety hits. Strong steady breathing reduces blood pressure, heart rate, and brings the thinking brain back online. Validation, touch, warmth, connection speaks to the emotional amygdala to let it know that support is here. Also, it feels lovely, and is right up there at the top of the list of things we humans need to feel safe. See more

03.01.2022 Wherever there is anxiety, there is courage, so what can you ‘add in’ to make their courage a little bigger than their anxiety in that moment. We won’t always b...e able to get rid of their anxiety, but we can expand their brave so it is just big enough - big enough to hush anxiety, big enough to move them forward, big enough to believe in themselves for just long enough. We can add in calm, add in our belief in them so avoidance isn’t an option, add in courage, add in messages of safety. Most importantly, we can add in the certainty that we are acting from trust in them more than fear for them. ‘I know this feels big, and I know you can do this. What’s one small step you can take that was braver than last time.’

02.01.2022 Strong steady breathing calms the amygdala. (The amygdala is the seat of anxiety in the brain.) As well as calming our physiology, focusing on breath, brings an... anxious, future thinking brain into the present. Brains need to be able to move between the past to reflect, and the future to plan, but they love the present like a favourite thing. See more

01.01.2022 A brain that gets anxious sometimes is doing exactly what brains were meant to do - keep you alive, warn you of danger, and remind you how much you love your fa...vourite things. It just works a little too hard on the first two, but with a little tweaking - mindfulness, exercise, a happy belly and other things that brains love - anxiety can be brought back to small enough. See more

Counselling in Context | Counsellor