Rochester Hotel in Rochester, Victoria | Pub

Rochester Hotel

Locality: Rochester, Victoria

Phone: +61 3 5484 1040

Address: 39 Moore Street 3561 Rochester, VIC, Australia

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25.01.2022 A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie. The ticket agent asked, Sir, whats that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said, Thats my pet rooster, Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes. Im sorry sir, said the ticket agent. We cant allow animals in the theater. Its the rules.... The old farmer was used to getting his own way, so he went around the corner, stuffed Chuck down his overalls, and implored him to stay quiet. Then he returned to the ticket booth, bought a ticket, and entered the theater. He happened to get a very good seat next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the rooster, not enjoying his confinement, began to squirm. The old farmer nonchalantly unbuttoned his fly so Chuck could stick his head out and watch the movie. Marge, whispered Mildred loudly. What? said Marge. I think the guy next to me is a pervert. What makes you think so? asked Marge. He undid his pants and exposed himself, whispered Mildred. Well, dont worry about it, said Marge. At our age, weve seen em all. I thought so too, said Mildred, but this ones eating my popcorn!

23.01.2022 When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.... Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?' And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree...

22.01.2022 And we're back! From Monday 22nd June Open for Breakfast ~ Lunch ~ Dinner | Bistro Only! Reservations are a must due to current Covid-19 restrictions. Please call us on 5484 1040 to book your table. Bookings are filling fast so make sure you get in early! We look forward to catching up with everybody!

22.01.2022 And we're back! From Monday 22nd June Open for Breakfast ~ Lunch ~ Dinner | Bistro Only! Reservations are a must due to current Covid-19 restrictions. Please call us on 5484 1040 to book your table. Bookings are filling fast so make sure you get in early! We look forward to catching up with everybody!

21.01.2022 Rochy Hotels annual Community Fundraiser!! Live music, Kids Entertainment & more!! 3 Voting Categories Car, Truck & Bike. First Place for each category wins $$$$$ Winners to be announced at 3pm! ... Bands into the evening! Share with everyone one you know! See more

20.01.2022 A farmer decided he wanted to go to town and see a movie. The ticket agent asked, Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said, That’s my pet rooster, Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes. I’m sorry sir, said the ticket agent. We can’t allow animals in the theater. It's the rules.... The old farmer was used to getting his own way, so he went around the corner, stuffed Chuck down his overalls, and implored him to stay quiet. Then he returned to the ticket booth, bought a ticket, and entered the theater. He happened to get a very good seat next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the rooster, not enjoying his confinement, began to squirm. The old farmer nonchalantly unbuttoned his fly so Chuck could stick his head out and watch the movie. Marge, whispered Mildred loudly. What? said Marge. I think the guy next to me is a pervert. What makes you think so? asked Marge. He undid his pants and exposed himself, whispered Mildred. Well, don’t worry about it, said Marge. At our age, we’ve seen ’em all. I thought so too, said Mildred, but this one’s eating my popcorn!

19.01.2022 Apologies to all but weve come to the sad decision to have to postpone this years #MotorsNMusicFest...... BUT well try and reschedule for a NEW date so watch this space!!! Please share with all your friends. Cheers & Stay Safe

19.01.2022 Were monitoring the COVID-19 (Coronavirus) situation closely. At this point in time we plan to go ahead with Motors & Music Fest! Well make the call at the end of April Please continue to follow our page & event for updates. Stay safe & well

18.01.2022 2020 $20- membership for 12 months = $10 Birthday voucher, $1- off drinks excluding pots & great times!!! Join now! For applications - see bar staff

15.01.2022 Join us for New Years Eve! Free Juke Box & Pool Table $4- pots

15.01.2022 A seemingly intoxicated Irish woman enters a casino. The attractive young blonde is greeted by two male dealers, and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. She then says, "I hope you dont mind, but I feel much luckier when im naked." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Cmon baby, Mama needs some new clothes!!!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up... and down excitedly squealing, "YES, YES, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers..., picked up her clothes and winnings, then quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other dealer replied, "I dont know, I thought you were watching?" Moral of the story: Not all Irish are drunks. Not all blondes are dumb. But all men, are men.

14.01.2022 After having to cancel successive attempted holidays to various states, Ive decided to rename them: NT: No Trespassing SA: Stay Away QLD: Quietly Locked Down ...VIC: Very Inconveniently Closed WA: Withdrawn Association NSW: Not So Welcoming TAS: Totally Alone State ACT: Authorised Coronavirus Tacticians See more

14.01.2022 start tagging!

13.01.2022 Share with everyone you know!

13.01.2022 Apologies to all but we've come to the sad decision to have to postpone this year's #MotorsNMusicFest...... BUT we'll try and reschedule for a NEW date so watch this space!!! Please share with all your friends. Cheers & Stay Safe

13.01.2022 Science Is in: This is the New Normal

13.01.2022 Sorry Folks - No Pool Table or Jukebox Friday Night! Due to the revised restrictions announced on Saturday, this now means the below for you and your visit to the Rochester Hotel. Our limit is 12 people seated at the bar; while still taking into account the one person per four square metres rule. We can serve alcohol to you without you having to order a meal. Groups of up to 10 people can dine in our Bistro; however tables must continue to be spaced 1.5 metres apart. Contact tracing will continue, with every one who enters the venue still needing to provide staff with their first name and contact number or email address. If you have any further questions or want to make a booking feel free to call us on 5484 1040

12.01.2022 Poker Starting at 7.30 pm $15 buy in and a $15 rebuy. First and second cash prizes.Poker Starting at 7.30 pm $15 buy in and a $15 rebuy. First and second cash prizes.

12.01.2022 may as well jump on the panic buying wagon........

12.01.2022 We’re monitoring the COVID-19 (Coronavirus) situation closely. At this point in time we plan to go ahead with Motors & Music Fest! We’ll make the call at the end of April Please continue to follow our page & event for updates. Stay safe & well

12.01.2022 "earned" your beers for the day?

11.01.2022 My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, Do you want to have Sex? No, she answered. I then said, Is that your final answer?... ... She didnt even look at me this time, simply saying, Yes.. So I said, "Then Id like to phone a friend." And thats when the fight started...

11.01.2022 $10 Roast Lunch FREE Juke Box & Pool Table Join us for Australia Day Celebrations!!

11.01.2022 A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift, and so every morning when the night shift workers passed through his gate it was his job to check their bags and pockets to make sure that nothing was being stolen. Things were going along very well the first night on the job until a man pushing a wheelbarrow of newspaper came through his gate. Aha, he thought, that man thinks he can cover up what he is stealing... with that newspaper. So he removed the paper only to find nothing. Still he felt that the man was acting strangely, so he questioned him about the paper. "I get a little extra money from newspapers I recycle, so I go into the lunchroom and pick up all the ones people have thrown away." The guard let him pass, but decided to keep a close eye on him. The next night it was the same, and the night after that. Week after week it went on. The same guy would push the wheelbarrow of newspapers past the guards checkpoint. The guard would always check and find nothing. Then one night, about a year later, the guard reported for work only to find a message had been left for him telling him to report to his supervisor. He walked into the supervisors office and before he could say a word, the boss said, "Youre fired!" "Fired?" he asked in total surprise. "Why? What did I do?" "It was your job to make sure that no one stole anything from this plant and you have failed. So youre fired." "Wait a minute, what do you mean failed. Nobody ever stole anything from this place while I was on guard." "Oh, really," the boss answered. "Then how do you account for the fact that there are 365 wheelbarrows missing?" See more

08.01.2022 When four of Santas elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.... Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, Merry Christmas, Santa. Isnt this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it? And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree...

07.01.2022 Drop in and organise your voucher today! #LiveLocalLoveLocal

07.01.2022 nothing quite like an ice cold beer after an ice cold beer! drop in for a coldie!

02.01.2022 A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, Harry, what exactly is your problem? Harry answered, Im too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and Im smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd grade, too! Ms. Brooks finally had enough; she took Harry to the principals office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The princ...ipal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he happily agreed to take the test. Principal: What is 3 x 3? Harry: 9. Principal: What is 6 x 6? Harry: 36. And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, Uknow, I reckon Harry can go to the 3rd grade. But Ms. Brooks is still skeptical of the little bugger and says to the principal, Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions. The principal and Harry both agree. Ms. Brooks asks, What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Harry, after a moment: Legs. Ms. Brooks: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have? The principal wondered why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: Pockets. to the Principals great relief. Ms. Brooks: What does a dog do that a man steps into? Harry: Pants. By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? Now the principals eyes open really wide and before he could intervene, Harry replied, Bubble gum. Ms. Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? Harry: Shake hands. The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks the last question. Ms. Brooks: What word starts with an F and ends in K and indicates a great deal of heat and excitement? Harry:Firetruck. The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher, Put the little bastard in 5th Grade; I got the last seven questions wrong myself.

02.01.2022 And were back! From Monday 22nd June Open for Breakfast ~ Lunch ~ Dinner | Bistro Only! Reservations are a must due to current Covid-19 restrictions. Please call us on 5484 1040 to book your table. Bookings are filling fast so make sure you get in early! We look forward to catching up with everybody!

01.01.2022 After having to cancel successive attempted holidays to various states, I’ve decided to rename them: NT: No Trespassing SA: Stay Away QLD: Quietly Locked Down ...VIC: Very Inconveniently Closed WA: Withdrawn Association NSW: Not So Welcoming TAS: Totally Alone State ACT: Authorised Coronavirus Tacticians See more

01.01.2022 $25 for the full season A free drink for getting 9 ~ Prizes for the most 9s Cash Prizes for first, second and third. First game Thursday 19th March.... see Bar staff to sign up - fees to be paid by round 3! See more