Sands Townsville in Aitkenvale, Queensland | Organisation
Sands Townsville
Locality: Aitkenvale, Queensland
Phone: +61 447 775 765
Address: PO Box 1879 4814 Aitkenvale, QLD, Australia
Website: http://www.sandstownsville.org
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25.01.2022 We invite you to attend the next in our 'Ways to be OK' online forum series: Preparing for the Holidays. We know the holiday season can be a challenging time o...f year that may evoke many emotions for grieving families. Join us on Wednesday 9 December from 7.00pm - 8.30 pm (AEDT) as one of Red Nose's Bereavement Counsellors provides strategies and advice to help you cope during this period. A small panel of bereaved families will share what they’ve learned about managing the challenges, addressing tricky family expectations, and importantly remembering and honouring their babies and children. The forum is delivered via Zoom. Bookings are essential: https://www.sands.org.au/Event/preparing-for-the-holidays
25.01.2022 For anyone feeling brave enough, Pieces of a woman is available to watch on Netflix. Starring Vanessa Kirby from the Crown and Shia Lebouf as a couple whose baby daughter dies following complications during a home birth delivery. Sadly like our own stories it’s loosely based on the filmmakers’ own personal experiences with miscarriage and the true story of a Hungarian baby who died following a home birth. A harrowing yet important watch which will hopefully educate mainstream audiences on some of the complexities that go hand in hand with baby loss. https://www.bustle.com//is-pieces-of-a-woman-based-on-a-tr
24.01.2022 No expectant parent contemplates planning a funeral for their baby, but for thousands of Australian families each year this task is a reality they unfortunately... face. Families have shared with us the details of funeral directors & celebrants they've worked with who've been particularly sensitive to their loss and we've begun creating a national resource so that these can be shared with parents who don't know where to begin. If you've had a particularly positive experience with a funeral director or celebrant after infant loss, we'd love to hear about it so that we can consider adding it to our list. You can find out existing resource now on our website: https://www.sands.org.au/funeral-director-recommendations
24.01.2022 COVID restrictions have forced us to make some changes in the way we deliver our Walks to Remember, but we’re hoping more people than ever will connect with thi...s special International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month community event. For those of you joining our virtual events, we’ve created a special pack of items to help us feel connected even when we can’t be together. It includes a personalised in-memory poster, a make-your own pinwheel kit, seeds for beautiful forget-me-nots, and a Mindful Meander card to help guide your own personal Walk to Remember. Packs are $25 each including postage and can be ordered when you register for our Victorian, NSW or ‘any location’ virtual events. https://www.sands.org.au//national-virtual-memorial-service Order by 30 September to ensure time for postage.
23.01.2022 Mother's Day - a day so often portrayed as full of joy, but difficult or bittersweet for so many. Today we acknowledge all those missing someone irreplaceable this Mother's Day Who are you remembering today? Please know support is always available on our 24/7 support line 1300 308 307
22.01.2022 The Hospital to Home program has been invaluable to both myself and my husband. My immediate family do not live here, and having our Bereavement Outreach Work...er come to the house felt like a family member calling to visit, which in the initial stages of grief helped fill a massive void for me. The support helped us navigate this unchartered territory. Our pilot Hospital to Home program supports parents who have experienced a stillbirth or newborn death. It is possible to self refer, so if you or someone you know has experienced a loss in the last six weeks, please reach out for help. When your loss is too great to carry alone we can assist you. Find out more www.sands.org.au/h2h-supportprogram
22.01.2022 I am a mother. I am a bereaved mother. My child died, and this is my reluctant path. It is not a path of my choice, but it is a path I must walk mindfully and... with intention. It is a journey through the darkest night of my soul and it will take time to wind through the places that scare me. Every cell in my body aches and longs to be with my beloved child. On days when grief is loud, I may be impatient, distracted, frustrated, and unfocused. I may get angry more easily, or I may seem hopeless. I will shed many, many, many tears. I won’t smile as often as my old self. Smiling hurts now. Most everything hurts some days, even breathing. But please, just sit beside me. Say nothing. Do not offer a cure. Or a pill, or a word, or a potion. Witness my suffering. Don’t turn away from me. Please be gentle with me. And I will try to be gentle with me too. I will not ever "get over" my child's death so please don’t urge me down that path. Even on days when grief is quiescent, when it isn't standing loudly in the foreground, even on days when I am even able to smile again, the pain is just beneath the surface. There are days when I still feel paralyzed. My chest feels the sinking weight of my child's absence and, sometimes, I feel as if I will explode from the grief. Losing my child affects me in so many ways: as a woman, a mother, a human being. It affects every aspect of me: spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. There are days when I barely recognize myself in the mirror anymore. Grief is as personal to me as my fingerprint. Don't tell me how I should or shouldn’t be grieving or that I should or shouldn’t feel better by now. Don't tell me what's right or wrong. I'm doing it my way, in my time. If I am to survive this, I must do what is best for me. My understanding of life will change and a different meaning of life will slowly evolve. What I knew to be true or absolute or real or fair about the world has been challenged so I'm finding my way, moment-to-moment in this new place. Things that once seemed important to me are barely thoughts any longer. I notice life's suffering more- hungry children, the homeless and the destitute, a mother’s harsh voice toward her young child- or an elderly person struggling with the door. There are so many things about the world which I now struggle to understand: Why do children die? There are some questions, I've learned, which are simply unanswerable. So please don’t tell me that God has a plan for me. This, my friend, is between me and my God. Those platitudes slip far too easily from the mouths of those who tuck their own child into a safe, warm bed at night: Can you begin to imagine your own child, flesh of your flesh, lying lifeless in a casket, when goodbye means you’ll never see them on this Earth again? Grieving mothers- and fathers- and grandparents- and siblings won’t wake up one day with everything ’okay’ and life back to normal. I have a new normal now. As time passes, I may gain gifts, and treasures, and insights but anything gained was too high a cost when compared to what was lost. Perhaps, one day, when I am very, very old, I will say that time has truly helped to heal my broken heart. But always remember that not a second of any minute of any hour of any day passes when I am not aware of the presence of my child's absence, no matter how many years lurk over my shoulder, don’t forget that I have another one, another child, whose absence, like the sky, is spread over everything as C.S. Lewis said ... My child may have died; but my love - and my motherhood - never will. Beautifully written by Dr. Joanne Cacciatore
21.01.2022 Feeling like lockdown has made your grief louder ? Sands has some great online support groups you can attend to talk to others who understand
21.01.2022 The death of a baby can have a profound impact on children those who were expecting a new brother or sister, the surviving twin of a multiple birth as well as... on children born after a baby has died. Our fact sheet, Children & Grief outlines what to expect, tips to help you understand your child’s experience of grief according to their stage of development, and ideas for how to answer tricky or triggering questions. It's available for download now on our website: http://ow.ly/dSOn50zgDsj See more
21.01.2022 A reminder that the Mother’s Day memorial at Belgian gardens cemetery is on tomorrow for all that would like to attend
19.01.2022 NSW INTRODUCES PAID MISCARRIAGE LEAVE New South Wales will become the first state in the country to introduce paid leave for couples who have a miscarriage or s...tillbirth. The measure, revealed in Tuesday's budget, will allow any public sector worker in full-time, part-time, permanent or temporary employment and their spouse to access five days of paid leave if they miscarry a baby up to 20 weeks into a pregnancy. Additionally, any parent whose child is born prematurely will have access to paid parental leave from the earlier date, rather than the expected date. NSW Treasurer Dominic Perrottet said he hoped grieving families knew that the government has their back when tragedies like these occur and that they will have time to process their loss without having to worry about financial or work-related pressures. It follows New Zealand's world-first policy that allowed three days of leave for public servants.
19.01.2022 Did you find baby advertisments popping up in your social media after your baby had died? https://www.washingtonpost.com//dear-tech-companies-i-don/
19.01.2022 Merry Christmas from the Sands family to yours. May your loved ones treat your heart as softly and tenderly as you need and deserve today * Our support services are running right throughout the Christmas period. Visit www.sands.org.au to get in touch
19.01.2022 Today we acknowledge International Bereaved Father's Day - a movement whose aim is to find a unique place of acknowledgment for dads grieving the loss of a chil...d. Dads, if you're listening, we've got a message for you: We recognise and honour your role as father to all of your children - those in your heart as well as in your arms. We admire your courage and strength in facing each day, despite your unfathomable loss. We encourage you to reach out for help when you need it, knowing it is not a sign of weakness, but rather one of courage and strength. We are here for you. For information on our dedicated fathers support services: https://www.sands.org.au/mens-support-services
19.01.2022 The start of a new year can be hard going, with the turning of the calendar perhaps signalling the beginning of yet another year without your baby. No matter ho...w you're approaching 2021 - with fear, with hope, or with long-awaited happiness, Sands is here to provide support and understanding. Wishing all of our followers all the very best for the year ahead See more
18.01.2022 This #wednesdaywisdom is a good reminder that how we function on the outside doesn't always correlate with how we feel inside. We do 'get used' to grief and eventually get back to a more normal-looking level of functioning, but it doesn't mean we stop feeling that sense of loss acutely.
18.01.2022 Sending love to all bereaved Fathers
18.01.2022 Hi Everyone, This invitation is for all parents who have used Heartfelt services. We are inviting you to participate in a Monash University study where the rese...archers are very interested in your experience of having bereavement photography. We know that for the over 11,000 families we have provided services for, there are 11,000 different experiences. Whatever your experience was your contribution will be incredibly valuable. We would love to hear from dads and mums. Please follow this link to complete the anonymous survey. https://monash.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1HSczsEcE3jesho ***Please know that some questions may be triggering*** Please know it is okay to skip any questions and we understand if you do not wish to complete the survey. Thank you for your support. The Heartfelt Team
18.01.2022 The song ‘it’s quiet uptown’ in Hamilton talks about the death of a son. The lyrics say that they are dealing with the unimaginable Were you met with I can’t imagine after your loss ? Did it make you feel isolated or supported in your grief ?
17.01.2022 If you’re new (ish) in grief and find your thoughts running around in circles, don’t worry: you’re not losing it. You’ve likely got a very normal case of grief... brain - something our community knows a lot about. In the #WritingYourGrief community, you’ll find acknowledgement for everything you’re going through, without judgement or platitudes. The next course session begins August 3rd and spots fill up fast! Sign up here: type refugeingrief.com/wyg #megandevine #refugeingrief #itsokthatyourenotok #griefrevolution #griefhurts #griefsucks #griefsupport #griefandlosssupport #sufferinginsilence #griefsurvivor #griefislove #griefawareness #griefsupportgroup #griefandhealing #dealingwithgrief #griefwork #grievingprocess #loveandloss #grievinghusband #grievingwife #grievingpartner #grievingparents #bereavedparents #depressionhelp #speakingrief #normalizegrief #communityhelps #griefcommunity [id: If you've got grief on the brain, don't keep it all in your head. We want to hear it.]
15.01.2022 Townville’s walk to Remember is on Sunday the 11th of October at Anzac park - please read the event below for details https://facebook.com/events/s/townsville-walk-to-remember/376849850353737/?ti=icl
15.01.2022 My baby was perfect, perfect in every way except she wasn’t breathing. I was both thrilled to see her and devastated she wouldn’t be coming home with us all at... once. It was such a confusing time - Rachael Sadly, 1 in 100 pregnancies end in stillbirth or newborn death. Having to give birth to a baby knowing the tragic outcome that awaits is an experience no one could ever be adequately prepared for. Our fact sheet - Stillbirth and Newborn Death - answers some common questions newly bereaved families may have, like 'should I see my baby?' or 'how will I cope?' We hope it helps. Available for download at: http://ow.ly/HWG650zdbOp
14.01.2022 This Christmas Eve we remember with you those babies who should be celebrating their first Christmas. We remember with you those babies who should now be tantru...ming toddlers, or sassy school kids, or grown with children of their own. We remember. Who are you missing this Christmas? Post your baby's name(s) and a Christmas wish. #missingasister See more
09.01.2022 Chrissy Teigan's blog addressing the loss of her baby son a month ago is a moving read about the visceral shock and disbelief of knowing you're about to deliver... a baby who will not survive, as well as a call to action for others to listen and learn from the families who courageously share their stories. https://chrissyteigen.medium.com/hi-2e45e6faf764 See more
09.01.2022 Bless the people who aren’t afraid to mention their names
08.01.2022 October is #PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness Month and we're spreading awareness by sharing things that bereaved parents from our community wished their family, ...friends, and acquaintances knew. RTZ's vision during #HOPEtober and always, is that every family experiencing pregnancy and infant loss will have access to resources, social support, and informed professional care to empower families to live a meaningful and hopeful life. If you're a bereaved parent, visit the parent portion of our website for resources, support, retreat information and more at rtzhope.org/parents If you know someone who has experienced the loss of their baby, we have resources, suggestions, and information on how to best support them at rtzhope.org/family You can also access our entire website and resources by visiting rtzhope.org
08.01.2022 Join us for our Mother's Day Memorial at Belgian Gardens Cemetery for a special memorial to remember the women in our lives. Take a moment to honour and remember your loved ones by sharing a special memory on the Memorial Tree. For more information, visit: https://bitly.com/3gYXV6B
08.01.2022 Make today the day you need to have, not the day you think you should be having by now #selfcaresunday
07.01.2022 There is such a pervasive weirdness in our culture around grief. We judge and we blame, dissect and minimize. People look for the flaws in what you’ve done to g...et you to this place: she didn’t exercise enough. Didn’t take enough vitamins. Took too many. He shouldn’t have been walking on that side of the road. They had unresolved childhood issues see what unhealed issues do to you? All those things we think and say when we want to distance ourselves from someone else’s pain. We make it less likely in our minds that such a thing would ever happen to us. We wouldn’t make those same mistakes. People, grief is not an enlightenment program for a select few. Everyone in the world is not running around being clueless, hating on people, not knowing what’s important to them, floundering along with an underdeveloped set of skills, waiting just waiting for some massive thing to come along and teach them how to be real. The only place I am guaranteed to get teary is when I think about all the extra added pain that is loaded on to already grieving hearts: the correction, the judgment, the dismissal, the subtle and not-subtle shaming delivered by a clueless population, who think of everything in terms of how you earned this, or what you need to learn from it. You can’t decide to redeem or dismiss grief just by deciding it’s a lesson someone needed to learn. You don’t get to decide which grief is valid based on your judgment of whether the person did enough wrong, or enough not right to make this happen. So my people, my people, here is my message: you did absolutely nothing to deserve this. You didn’t need to learn anything that allegedly only intense grief can teach. Given the devastation that you neither earned nor needed, there may still be things you can learn about love, how it continues, how it connects. There are lessons to be learned in grief. Lessons about trusting your own heart, leaning into the places you are deeply broken. There are lessons to learn, places to explore, ways to find out if any of your deep self remains. So learn, yes. Study your own heart, yes. And please, also know this: you did nothing wrong. You did not need to learn what was important. You already knew. How about you? Have you been told you needed to learn something important because of your loss? What things have you been forced to learn that you really did not need to know?
07.01.2022 Such great news for families coping with this devastating loss- no, we aren’t dealing with the regular parenting issues that arise after having a newborn, instead we aren’t sleeping because of heartache and find it hard to navigate life without our child. Well done to all those who campaigned for this important change and here’s hoping more understanding and compassion will come out of it.
07.01.2022 Because we don’t talk about the reality of grief in our culture, lots of grieving people think they’re crazy. When Matt first died, I lost my mind and not in... the ways you might think. I used to be a person who could read books. I used to have a really great memory. I used to be a person who could keep everything straight without notes or a calendar. Suddenly I was putting my keys in the freezer and forgetting my dog’s name and couldn’t remember what day it was or if I had eaten breakfast. Memory loss, confusion, an inability to concentrate or focus these things are all normal inside grief. They do tend to be temporary, but they last a lot longer than you would think. For a lot of people, it’s a few years before their entire cognitive capacity comes back to any recognizable form. Some of those losses are temporary and some of them mean your mind is just different as you move forward. The thing to remember is that physiologically, your body has experienced a trauma. Your brain is working hard to make sense of something that can’t ever make sense. All of those mental circuits that used to fire so clearly are trying their best to relate to this entirely changed world. Remember that this is a normal response to a stressful situation, it’s not a flaw in you. You’re not crazy. You’re grieving. Those are very different things. How about you? Have you felt like you’ve lost your mind? How has grief changed the way your mind works? -- #megandevine #refugeingrief #itsokthatyourenotok #griefrevolution #griefsupport #griefsucks #brokenheart #griefandloss #bereavement #grief #loss #grieftips #imissyou #mentalhealthawareness #socialwork #cancersucks #fuckcancer #miscarriage #stillborn #pregnancyloss #infantloss #childloss #dementia #depressionhelp #normalizegrief [id: I feel like I've lost my mind. How long does "grief brain" last?]
06.01.2022 Losing a baby or child is something no one should have to experience. It upsets nature's order and our expectations, making the loss feel so much harder. It is... ok to feel shocked, surprised and even angry. In fact, it is natural to do so. Sometimes we hear the biggest shock was discovering how often it happens. This is why it is so important to talk and be open about your grief. It not only helps you, but it may help others in the future. #wednesdaywisdom #griefandloss #griefandlossquotes
06.01.2022 An interesting read regarding how wider society views ‘appropriate’ expressions and time lengths of grief. Mary Lincoln was judged unfairly for defying the acceptable behaviour associated with grieving her children. Everyone grieves differently and we need to learn to sit with others’ pain even if it makes us uncomfortable to see them suffering. https://www.washingtonpost.com//mary-lincoln-bereaved-mo/
06.01.2022 The world received a shock last night that Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, had lost her second child. When high-profile people speak out about pregnancy loss in g...eneral it helps reduce the stigma that miscarriage sadly still carries. When someone as well-known as Meghan becomes one of the club, it does something else, too it demonstrates that this tragic loss really can happen to anyone, no matter how good their pregnancy care, no matter how wanted that pregnancy, no matter how loved and valued their baby might come to be. The Sussex’s story naturally has unprecedented public interest. Whilst we welcome these very public conversations about pregnancy loss we know that those who’ve experienced similar losses may find this increased attention difficult to be constantly confronted with through the media. To those people we say that even duchesses need support, and that you shouldn’t hesitate to seek it for yourself if you feel your grief has been heightened as a result. The beauty of peer support is in experiencing these normal feelings and emotions together in a safe space with someone who can actually imagine how you feel because they’ve felt like that too. Please get in touch with us if we can help. www.sands.org.au
06.01.2022 Save the date - 15 Oct - for the beautiful and moving 2020 Victorian Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Service, which will be taking place virtually this year for bereaved families and their loved ones. We'll bring you details on how to register to attend shortly
02.01.2022 A grieving mother with PTSD fell into a hole and couldn’t get out. When a family member walked by the grieving mother called out for help, but the family member... yelled back, "Suck it up, dig deep and drive on," then threw her a shovel. The grieving mother did as she was told and dug that hole deeper. A friend went by and the grieving mother called out for help again. The friend told her "use the tools your family has given you", then threw her a bucket. The grieving mother used the tools and she dug the hole deeper still and filled the bucket. A psychiatrist walked by. The grieving mother called, Help! I can’t get out! so the psychiatrist gave her some drugs and said, "Take this. It will relieve the pain and you will forget about the hole. The grieving mother said "thanks" and followed his advice, but when the pills ran out she was still in the hole. A well-known psychologist rode by and heard the grieving mothers cries for help. He stopped and asked, How did you get there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness. So the grieving mother talked with him for an hour, then the psychologist had to leave, but he said he’d be back next week. The grieving mother thanked him, but she was still in the hole. Another Grieving mother, just like her, happened to be passing by. The grieving mother with PTSD cried out, Hey, help me. I’m stuck in this hole! and right away the other Grieving mother jumped down in there with her. The grieving mother with PTSD started to panic and said, What are you doing? Now we’re both stuck down here! But the other Grieving mother just smiled and replied, It’s okay, calm down, I’ve been here before..... I know how to get out. No matter what you're going through, you are never alone. But don't be too proud to SHOUT OUT!, ‘HELP I'm stuck in this hole’ ... We all get stuck in a hole from time to time but all it takes is to ask your fellow grieving mothers for help and we will be there even if we have to jump in that hole with you. Written by another grieving mother
02.01.2022 After the death of a baby people often say the second hardest thing is the silence that you’re faced with. Namely, Uncomfortable looks and topic changes from others when talking about your baby. All grief is hard, societally we need a shift where all loss is able to be shared openly so that we can support one another. #shatterthestigma
