Sandy's Counselling Corner in Regents Park | Psychotherapist

Sandy's Counselling Corner

Locality: Regents Park

Phone: +61 425 730 629

Address: 9 Gumview Close 4118 Regents Park, QLD, Australia

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• Medical and health
• Mental health service
• Psychotherapist

25.01.2022 Moving on from Talking It's very easy for counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrist and friends to get caught in a talking trap. Talking is good up to a point. The next steps should be challenging thinking, analysis of behaviours, replacing negative behaviours with positive ones. Replacing negative thought processes with more rational thinking. Toward the end of the counselling a client should be feeling comfortable because they will have developed some skills in managing t...Continue reading

24.01.2022 The Way Forward May Require a Few Steps Backward. When we are busy at artwork, we can find ourselves fixated on tiny details, noes close to the drawing, knowing something is going wrong but unable to really see what it is until we take a few steps back and look at the whole picture. In life we can be fixated on our day to day problems, the bills, the grind that can sometimes be life, we can lose sight of the big picture. That's why taking a step backwards and considering t...he bigger picture. Evaluating where we are and where we want to be and how are we going so far. What needs to be changed? What needs to stay the same? Most importantly am I okay? Are the people around me supporting me and am I supporting them. Is your village serving you well and are you serving it well. Don't be afraid of stepping backwards to evaluate life. Take your time about.

24.01.2022 Being in the Moment Some of the most lovely times in my life were when my children were young and we had walked to a local playground. Sometimes I would join in, sliding down the slide with one of my younger kids holding onto me for dear life or swinging high on the swing next to one of my older boys seeing who could swing the highest. At other times I would watch the four boys making up an imagination game and charging around the playground like an obstacle course. These mo...ments are precious. I'm very pleased I was totally absorbed in those moments and my mobile phone only made calls and had the time on it. Today I see kids in the playground and their parents sitting nearby intently looking at their phones, missing out on their beautiful child. A child that will, with any luck, grow up. That moment to be with their child, participate in their moment of play is gone. Whatever is happening on the phone can't be more important than that. What you can do to resist the lure of phone land. *Leave your phone at home. If something happens where a phone might be needed there will be someone with a phone around. Most likely nothing will happen. *Put your phone in your handbag or pocket and leave it there. This is for the more advanced pupil. *Turn off your phone when you are out with your kids. Being in the moment whether its with your kids, friends or work mates being fully focused on the other person or people is a far nicer way to live. Even going for a walk and being attentive to your surroundings is better for your brain than walking along with your eyes on your phone. Phone related activities can wait these life moments slip by and can never be returned to.

22.01.2022 Living in the Psychology Counselling Bubble Its very easy to find yourself in a professional bubble. If you are a mechanic you think a lot about your job. If you are a support worker like me you think a lot about accessibility when you are off work. When you are a politician you think about politics. Counsellors and psychologists are also in a bubble and become a bit disconnected with the brass tacks of life. People come to psychologists and counsellors because they are ha...ving problems with the brass tacks of life. The putting together of the bits and pieces that are falling apart. The therapist is trying to apply theories and methods to apply to their clients issues translate these into skills their client might find beneficial while listening intentionally to their clients, with the intent to sort through the issues. Counsellors and psychologists hang around with each other and read a lot of theories and academic papers related to their work and somewhere along the line they enter into a bubble. I read a lot myself fortunately I have a very down to earth job which keeps me grounded in the real gritty day to day life of the average Joe and Jill. There's a real disconnect from the bubble of psychologists and counsellors and the life experiences of the average person. I suspect this is the reason clients come out of counselling sessions scratching their heads and feeling more confused. I often read what psychologists and counsellors say and wonder what world are you living in. Beware the bubble no matter what your profession is. There's always the possibility of your bubble floating you away from the earth where all the action is happening.

22.01.2022 How to be Stoic in an Emotionally Healthy Way Being stoic is often thought of as cutting out your emotionality to achieve a goal. I am currently reading a book about my father's trainer who instilled in the athletes he coached stoic values of learning to love pain to be strong of mind and of body, not to succumb to weakening emotions and thoughts. The ideas of stoicism are great, a philosophy that I live by, probably the result of being raised in part by one of Percy Cerrutt...Continue reading

18.01.2022 The Best of the Best Ambition can be a fantastic thing, to shoot for the stars and be the best at something. Most of us will never be the best of the best that special 2%. One of my lecturers said to the first year students, "A few of you will be the top performers, some of you will struggle just to pass and most of you will be somewhere in-between". This is the truth for life in general, a few at the top, some at the bottom and the vast majority will be in-between these ex...tremes. There are certain things that keep some people firmly wedged at the bottom. Opportunities, gender, race and skin colour determine how we fit into society we live in. If we don't acknowledge that these things impact our journey through life then we cannot change it. This week in politics we've seen our Prime Minister struggle with honesty regarding the reality of life. We've seen him swimming around in the first stage of grief, denial. We've seen defensiveness and stonewalling. At every stage we've seen immaturity and a deep reluctance to face reality and instigate change. Is our Prime Minister an awful person. I don't know the man. I can tell you this he is human. We've all been in a position where we have behaved in similar ways. How do we resist falling into this pattern of behaviour that I have described as the child mode. The first step is accepting the possibility that you might be wrong. The old yoga saying be like a reed strong enough to stay the storm but supple enough to bend in the crazy winds around you. Nothing ever changes unless we do something to change it. We may not ever be in that top 2% however, we can always strive to be the best humans we can be.

17.01.2022 Love Leading You Downward. Ideally we should choose partners who are our equals, people who are of the same mind going on the same path. The concept of complimenting each other and supporting each other to reach full potentials. However, far to often one partner will drag the other down. My grandmother sought the advise of her pastoral counsellor about her husbands alcoholism and gambling. He advised her to stop being a prude and get drunk with him. This wasn't what my gran...dmother had in mind for herself or her four children. She endured many years of heart ache. Her husband eventually left divorcing my grandmother and obtaing all of her savings and a property my grandmother purchased prior to her marriage. That was how the courts ruled back in those days. When her husband eventually died of liver disease, she went on marry a second husband who she enjoyed 30 years of life with a like minded person. When we love we tend to want to do the things they do. It is of the utmost importance to remain yourself and not sink into the lifestyle of our partners who may have addiction problems. Imagine how different life would have been for my mother and her siblings if my grandmother had taken the advice of the pastoral counsellor.

17.01.2022 New Year New Beginnings It's a great idea to start off a new year with some news life goals. Here are some tips on setting goals. 1. Make a list of goals... 2. Choose the most achievable goals 3. Set a realistic timeline to complete the goal 4. Break down the goal into steps 5. Focus on completing the steps 6. Don't beat up on yourself if you don't have immediate success 7. Keep on trying 8. Revealuate at regular intervals 9. Readjust your goals and steps as you go along. Obtaining life goals is a great feeling. It isn't easy to do. The most important thing is to keep the goals achievable and break these down into steps.

15.01.2022 Making Yourself Who You Want to Be While Accepting Who You Are. There are certain things that you can't change in life and about yourself. That's okay if you want to be tall and you are short, learn to love being short look for the advantages. If you are lazy by nature and you hate this about yourself. You can change it if you know about it. You will have to try ten times harder not to be lazy than those who are by nature are active but, it will be ten times more rewarding f...or you to achieve your goals than it is for the person it comes naturally to. If you want to be thin but you metabolism is slow. You will have to work ten times harder than some who has a fast metabolism. The victory over the biological challenge will make the reward so much sweeter. However, always do these things with love and self respect. Treat yourself kindly. Eat beautiful healthy food enjoy every mouthful. When you exercise enjoy your body that can exercise. Many people are unable to use their bodies in this way. Life is about "doing" as much as it is about "being". Creating habits that help you love yourself and life is the best gift you can give yourself and others people see you doing life well it will inspire them to do the same.

13.01.2022 Why the Counselling Profession Isn't For Me As a young girl I was the person people came to talk to about life. That's just part of who I am. When I went to university I discovered names for the things that went on in my everyday conversations. I love to hear people's stories and watch them grow and develop through hardship and difficulties. I like to pick out the interesting parts of their conversations that are little nuggets of gold. I loved going to University to find ou...t about people like Irvin Yalom and Carl Rogers. I just didn't fit into the profession of counselling. My peers all seemed to be living on a different plane of reality to me. It is no surprise to me that the government won't allow counselors to have Medicare provider numbers. Even when at University I struggled with other students who were pro smacking kids, anti vaccinations, believing that they could be empaths (able to feel the emotions of others without conversing). It all seemed wrong to me. I had the whole student body descend upon me with such wrath when I said there was no scientific evidence for vaccination causing autism. I was constantly told I wasn't suitable for counselling. I finished the degree. I set up my own practice. I had good success with all my clients. However, many clients preferred not to pay or couldn't pay. Would book appointments and not turn up. One or two went off to psychologists. Overall I couldn't make a living. I didn't fit in with my peers and as it turned out I didn't suit counselling. I'll always be a counselor in my heart. I'm glad that I don't fit in. I'm very pleased that I got my degree. I use to say I was cursed and now I know I have a gift. I'll always be the village wise woman as someone said to me recently.

11.01.2022 What we can learn from having friends with opposing views from our own. It can be uncomfortable to spend time with people who don't share our world view however, it is from knowing these people that offers us an opportunity to grow. All too often we like to flock together with those of like minds to our own. It's easy to be with these people. Its like a gentle flowing stream on a sunny day. Socrates and Plato took pleasure in seeking out those with opposite views to their ow...n. It gave them an opportunity to test their own beliefs as well as others. During these exchanges of views they not only exercised their intellect they often shifted or developed their own views. Everyone likes to be right yet being flexible enough to consider that you maybe wrong or the other view might have some value to it takes maturity and strength of character that not many actually have. Scrutinising your own thinking and those of others opens the door to change and growth While it is lovely to sit by a stream on a sunny day sometimes, its a great idea to go exploring further a field you never know what you might find. Let's face it exploring is exciting, you might grow roots in the ground if you sit by the stream for too long.

10.01.2022 Do You Really Want Counselling or Confirmation? I have found some of my former counselling clients are coming to me for confirmation that they are right and everyone else is wrong. Sadly, the reality is the opposite everyone is right and they are wrong. These clients are what we call resistant clients. They will resist everything people offer them. I had one fellow who really believed whole heartedly that the responsibility for his marriage problems was 100% laid at the fee...t of his partner. This had been confirmed by a former counsellor. I had a client who genuinely believed that the only person who needed to change was her partner and refused to ask her if she would like to attend a counselling session stating "that will never happen, there's no point in asking". She was so afraid that her partner would be right on some points she wouldn't even invite her to a counselling session. If you are coming to counselling for confirmation that you are right, pause for a moment and think about that concept. Maybe you aren't right? Ask yourself how would it feel to be living with someone who is right all the time making everything you do and say wrong. Put the boot on the other foot for a few minutes. Go to counselling when you want help in letting go of being right and accepting that meeting people half way might result in you seeing the world in much more gentle light.

09.01.2022 The Adult Brain Can Learn The old saying you can't teach an old dog new tricks is false. We can learn as we grow older in fact learning new things is good for our brain health. We now know that adult brains are plastic and are not static. If you've always wanted to learn a musical instrument you can. No excuses like you are too old. Extending those neural pathways is just like stretching your muscles. You might even experience pain in your frontal cortex as you learn new th...ings. That's where it is all happening. Challenge yourself to learn new things. Our life expectancy is much higher these days. You've got plenty of time to learn to play guitar, piano or violin. Maybe you've always wanted to write a book, fly a plane or paint landscapes but have told yourself you can't. Start telling yourself you can! The wonderful experience of learning something new is worth any struggle you might have. The endorphins will be released when you master each step along the way. Life is much more fun when you are achieving goals. What are those long lost goals. Get onto the task of doing life in a way that gives you the most enjoyment. Life is long.

06.01.2022 My Experiences Define Me Every event that happens in your life has some kind of impact on you. Its really up to you how these experiences define you. Even the worst experiences can bring out the best in us. However, in order to do this we must have; *A clear and rational understanding of who is responsible and who is not. If you were a child you were not responsible ever for the things adults did in your life. Its a lie that people are 50% responsible. Think about your pa...rt in things be honest about it. *A willingness to acknowledge that behaviour is not the person. Good people can do things that are harmful to themselves and others for a range of reasons too long a list here. *If you are able to forgive yourself and accept yourself as perfectly imperfect and others for also being perfectly imperfect life will be easier. When we drop our should've would've could've voices that is overwhelmingly freeing. *Understanding that you can learn from and become more than you were before just by virtue of surviving through negative experiences learning from them and moving forward with life will lighten your internal dialogue. The blame game is not helpful to anyone no matter who you blame yourself or others. You know better, you do better. *Try as much as you can not to get stuck in the past. It happened its over you can't change it but you can learn from it. The price has been paid for the past you don't need to keep paying forever. In conclusion, the best thing any of us can do is define ourselves in an honest light. We might not be the person we want to be or the person we want others to see us as, we are all people who are loved, loveable and loving despite our imperfections and our shitty life experiences.