Melissa Godeassi in Aspendale, Victoria, Australia | Counsellor

Melissa Godeassi

Locality: Aspendale, Victoria, Australia

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25.01.2022 FAVOURITE TEACHER We can all remember a favourite teacher, or even one we didn’t get on with. The relationship between students and teachers are very important. Student’s enthusiasm, performance and motivation are predicted from the relationship between teacher and student. Students were interviewed who had a history of disruptive behaviour or not, mainstream school or private school. According to these students, the important key ‘ingredients’ for a positive student teacher... relationship included - Empathy and humour - Starting the day with a clean slate - Visible kindness and caring - Parents encouraging students to reflect and interpret situations from different perspectives Most importantly, both student and teacher win when they are working on the same team.

25.01.2022 Setting Goals for the New Year As adults we often set goals for the New Year a new year’s resolution! Children can also set realistic goals while having fun at the same time. Goal setting is part of a life skill we all need for success. Here are 5 fun ways your children and yourself can set realistic goals for the New Year. Make a family bucket list. List the experiences and achievements you would like to do together. Make a wheel of fortune. Draw a wheel with segments like... a pizza (6 or 8 will be enough). In each section write the important categories in your life eg family, friends, music, swimming, bike riding. Under each of these headings write a goal you would like to achieve over the year. Create a vision board. Using magazines or old photos cut out all the pictures that represent your dreams to create a collage (vision board). Share with the family what these pictures represent in your dreams. 3 stars and a wish. Write or draw 3 things you do well (your 3 stars). Write what one thing you would like to work on (a goal). Share these together as a family. Ask questions asking questions that make us all dream of what we want or would like is fun. Questions such as ‘What if I had a million dollars what would I do?’ or ‘If I had superpowers I would’. Dreaming these and planning towards these is fun to do together. See more

22.01.2022 PRESSURES FACING WORKING PARENTS understanding the unique psycho-social and emotional pressures that working parents currently face in attempting to manage competing work pressures and family obligations is critical to minimising the damaging impacts of lockdown on workers and children Click on the link below for the full article https://www.generationnext.com.au//lessons-from-lockdown-/

22.01.2022 RELATIONSHIPS DURING COVID Especially during the COVID pandamic, your relationship with your partner is so important, especially if partners are working remotely. Face to face communication is much better as you can see each other’s physical and facial cues. If you prioritise your relationship and then have structure to connect and talk about what you both value, the rest will follow along easier. Plan and schedule time to connect and communicate together daily, which includes work yet, also other conversations and activities like exercising together should also be included. Schedule time together with your partner, set a date each week together to 100% connect and communicate away from the stresses of work, children and all other things.

21.01.2022 LISTEN TO OUR TEENAGERS Am I serious about listening to our teenagers? Well generally speaking, teenagers are now more socially aware and responsible among other positive qualities! This is the view of clinical psychologist Andrew Fuller and educator John Hendry. They believe sometimes, giving young people a say and meaningful opportunities may help address mental health and well being concerns. They both believe that engaging with young people could help lead to a kinder world as they sometimes have the most innovative solutions to problems we face as a society. Follow the link to read more about young people who have changed the world https://www.bbc.co.uk//0e9e80de-62cb-4782-a26f-1cd480d28f2

21.01.2022 Right now, we’re all facing the same storm, but we’re all doing so in different boats Some have yachts, others are in tinnies. Some have a substantial crew on ...board, others are rowing alone. Some have life jackets (higher resilience, stronger relationships, more optimism, use their strengths and more positivity), others don’t even have a working rudder... I have been using this boat analogy a lot this week (after hearing it from @janewundersitz) to explain why some people are handling the current crisis better than others.. We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. That summation of our current situation originally came from Damian Barr (the illustration is by Barbara Kelley), who suggested that some of us will sail through this pandemic with our health and jobs intact, yet others will lose one or both, or potentially more. So if you’re wondering why others are fairing better or worse than you at the moment, perhaps it’s worth considering what type of boat they are in.

19.01.2022 ATTACHMENT How does attachment affect our relationships? Our relationships with our partners depend on how we bonded with our parents at a young age. Whether we were shown love, comfort and security will depend on how secure or insecure we are with our partner. If as a young child, your parent’s response was to downplay emotions or reject a call for help, then this may make one not have trust with their attachment figure and suppress any worries or emotions. However, this c...an be developed and worked on as an adult to overcome any attachment insecurity. With counselling, where the negative impact of attachment insecurity is addressed, couples have found this to be effective and they can move forward. There is a lot more information about attachment styles and ways to change, which can be harder, as we age and as life events and experiences challenge our beliefs. Please consult a professional if you have any concerns or need further advice. https://www.generationnext.com.au//what-is-attachment-and/

17.01.2022 Welcome to my page. Here you will find lots of information to help support yourself and others, adults and children, to achieve the best possible mental health. So you have concerns for someone and you just don’t know if it is just a ‘stage’ or things will resolve themselves. What would you say or what should you do? We often fear that if we intervene it may make things worse. If you know anyone (children or adults) struggling with everyday issues for example stress, anxi...ety, depression, grief, addiction or they have just not been their usual self recently, please seek support from a professional. If you would like professional advice, please don't hesitate to contact myself, a qualified and accredited counsellor with the Australian Counselling Association. I am happy to chat to you so everyone has an optimum mental health. Also please visit the group @Support My Kids

17.01.2022 HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES outside After a wonderful Christmas day, go outside and have fun with the following activities Make a kite and fly it outside Eat a meal outside like a picnic Do some gardening like plant some carrot tops... Make an obstacle course around the garden Do a treasure hunt outside in the garden or park Make a hat out of garden flowers & leaves (pick the ones that have fallen off the plant) Create a fairy garden or a dinosaur garden Design a backyard treasure map then see if someone can find your ‘treasure’ Make collage picture using leaves that have fallen on the ground Make a picture with sticks from the ground Go for a walk somewhere new outside See more

16.01.2022 ANXIOUS ABOUT CORONAVIRUS - stage 4 concerns AGAIN as we are back in LOCKDOWN or ISO ... Are you feeling anxious or concerned about the Coronavirus? As we enter Stage 4, you may be feeling overwhelmed and this is understandable, especially if you are already struggling with your own mental health or have a physical illness. Try the following... 1. Talk to someone how you are feeling acknowledge your feelings and speak to someone you trust 2. Get the facts there is so much information and you need to stay on top of the facts by visiting a reputable site like https://www.who.int/emergen/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 3. Know what you can do and if unhelpful thoughts and behaviours are triggered seek professional advice 4. Don’t overexpose yourself to the news limit the amount of time to listen and watch the news, instead read a book, go for a walk, chat to a friend 5. Seek professional help I have no waiting list, and offer ONLINE counselling to anyone who may be feeling overwhelmed. Contact me for a chat to discuss how I can help you.

16.01.2022 MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS especially during COVID Are you or someone you know struggling with their mental health? Are there major changes in your thoughts, feelings and behaviours? Do these cause disruptions to day to day functioning? If they don’t go away as quickly as they should, SEEK HELP from a trained expert such as a counsellor like myself.

16.01.2022 Your coping and resilience strategies might need to shift as the COVID-19 crisis continues Further information in the link below https://www.generationnext.com.au//your-coping-and-resili/

16.01.2022 CHILDREN’S MENTAL HEALTH DURING COVID Parents must look after their own mental health. There are several factors that predict changes in children’s mental health problems. The top ones are 1. Personal distress from parents as their own anxiety and stress escalates so does the child’s mental distress. This also includes problems and worries before COVID. It is important that parents look after their own mental health and seek professional help is a good option to help those... who are struggling. 2. Positive family relationships it is proven if there are high levels of parental warmth and family members helping and working together, there are low trauma symptoms. 3. Being positive and focussing on the bright side as much as possible is a huge benefit. Children see how parents behave and how they manage their emotions. Children look for cues how to manage their own emotions. It is always better to seek professional help early to build the right foundations to protect the mental health of your children.

15.01.2022 FAMILY HARMONY Sibling rivalry and arguing with children is really challenging for some parents during the COVID lockdown. Structure and routine is proven to be a huge help to overcome the chaos. According to psychologist Michael Hawton, the three main behaviour battles in a family are 1. Speaking or acting rudely 2. Hurting anyone or yourself 3. Breaking and wrecking things... He believes, CONSISTENCY, STRUCTURE and ROUTINE is the key to help overcome these behaviours. This is also applied to managing homework or schoolwork especially for Victorians, who are back to remote learning. Set a routine for your family to help avoid challenging behaviours.

15.01.2022 There are so many people who are stuggling at the moment, Are you feeling stressed, anxious or just not right, maybe because of the COVID lockdown again. I do online counselling with children and adults, so please reach out for some support if you or someone you care for are not feeling your normal self.

15.01.2022 SELF CARE It is important to look after ourselves both physically and mentally. This is called self-care. This helps us manage stress and emotions during difficult times so we keep on top of our well-being. - Positive social connections help us cope with stress so stay connected and check in with family and friends. - Plan out your day and have a sense of purpose in your life. ... - Plan activities around meals and sleep time. - Living with others 24/7 with no time for yourself can create challenges or conflict. - Try to share your worries, concerns and also positive emotions and experiences. - Take some time to yourself to calm if needed but ensure to return to the discussion to repair any hurt. Things you might try to ensure you look after yourself is - Social support - chat and mix with positive friends ONLINE - Hobbies - take some time out for these - Pampering - something special for you - Sharp mind - keep reading and educating - Positive attitude - change the negatives into positives - Process emotions journal writing of your emotions - Meditation - smiling mind app or similar Planning some structure in your day is important and keeping that routine. Find the things that work best for you and do them on a regular basis to look after yourself and remember, keep smiling and laughing. Seek support of a psychologist or counsellor, like myself, if your stress or anxiety is getting too much.

14.01.2022 SUICIDE the rate amongst young people is increasing Mental health problems are common in young people. You are not alone if you do have a mental health problem, if you don’t then one or more of your friends probably do. YOU AREN’T ALONE Keeping serious secrets endangers young people. Kids keep secrets for lots of reasons. It may be a ... - fear of getting in trouble - fear of being a burden - fear that no one can help - fear of breaking a taboo - fear of dobbing in a friend Open up the lines of communication with young people, talk to them about suicide. What people are feeling, how they are struggling. Ask the question if they are wanting to end their life, take it seriously and seek professional help.

14.01.2022 HELPING KIDS WITH ONLINE GAMING The facts 97% of children play video games and 2% are addicted America is adding Internet Use Disorder to their manual of mental disorders because it is such a huge issue. Of the 97% addicted to internet use, 60% are males under the age of 18.... In Australia, the illness is being debated whether it is an internet or video gaming addiction nevertheless, there are still children addicted! What are the common signs with internet addiction to look out for - Pre-occupation of gaming - Social withdrawal or isolation - Disengagement in school - Loss of interest in other activities - Defensiveness and anger Here are four tips to help your child with a gaming addiction 1. Both parents need to take the addiction seriously, together take a stand so the child doesn’t play off one parent against another 2. Encourage educational games (maths & English based games) which may/not include other players from around the world 3. Set time limits and stick to these perhaps together, decide on what is a reasonable time to be online 4. Try to make a connection back to school develop self-confidence, self-esteem & connection back at school and support with any difficult areas Please seek professional advice if you are concerned or would like further information.

13.01.2022 PRIMARY SCHOOL BOYS EXHIBITING MORE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS, WITH FLOW ON ACADEMIC IMPACTS A new study into emotional and behavioural problems in Australian schoolboys aged eight to nine years old has found new and concerning trends in both the incidence and the impact of these problems, but with no definitive cause. A study found that one in five boys in this age group (8 & 9 years old) exhibit these problems. Emotional problems include experiencing an unusual amount of strong em...otions, unpredictable patterns of emotion as well as difficulty expressing or regulating their emotions. Behavioural problems included tantrums, aggression, hyperactivity and being easily distracted. The impacts on school performance observed could be severe. This included being three times more likely than their peers to be rated as having poor English or math skills on average, and being up to 12 months behind their peers in NAPLAN results. The leader of the research, Dr Lisa Mundy, claims these problems are unlikely to be due to academic pressure, and may instead be linked to an earlier onset of puberty compared to previous generations. Parents are encouraged to be aware of the signs of distress in boys of this age. In particular, inexplicable sadness, anxiety or behavioural issues. Parents should help boys to express and manage their emotions, and should not hesitate to seek outside help should they still be concerned. Read the full article here https://www.abc.net.au//primary-school-boys-strug/8833732

13.01.2022 Christmas time and families wishing everyone a merry Christmas

12.01.2022 PLAYTIME AND YOUNG KIDS Children learn a lot through play socialisation, experimentation with different ways to interact with their environment and many more valuable life skills. However, play between a father and a child can often be a bit physical, competitive, a type of rough and tumble. This type of play is just as important to a child’s development because according to research it improves social skills. During rough and tumble play, both father and child become more ...considerate of each other’s feelings. It improves emotional regulation, children learn to understand and manage their own behaviour and reactions, and there is a balance between winning and losing. So, as a parent, particularly fathers, have some rough and tumble, share the winning and losing so children learn and understand how to manage and regulate their emotions.

11.01.2022 WELL-BEING & SELF CARE Well-being or self-care has huge value in your success and mental health. Finding strategies to suit yourself and that work for you can be a case of trialling some, before finding the right fit. Some of the ideas below may seem simple, but can make a huge difference with your own well-being and management of day to day tasks and stresses. This includes feeling calmer, having a clearer mind and being more energised and focussed. You may even notice an i...ncrease in work performance and productivity especially if self-care becomes part of your daily routine. Some self-care ideas include - Daily mindfulness session, using an app such as Smiling Mind - Finishing or leaving work at the same time each day - Going for a walk a sensory walk where you take in the sights, smell, listen etc to the things around you - Read something that is pleasurable or start a reading club - Walking perhaps trying to set a daily steps goal - Celebrating and reflecting on positive achievements throughout the week - Try some art therapy or relaxing with music - Drink plenty of water to stay hydrated There are many other self-care activities you may prefer that I haven’t listed and I would love you to share some of these for others. Please post your ideas below

10.01.2022 COVID Statistics Since the outbreak of the coronavirus - 55% of young Victorians feel their mental health is worse - One in five young people believe they are not getting the help needed for their mental health - 97% of young Australians feel they have been impacted by COVID... - Half of all Victorian parents feel COVID restrictions have made their children feel isolated - 36% of parents say the isolation has made their children worried and anxious - Nearly 30% of parents say the isolation has led to family tensions Call or message me to seek support to help with mental health concerns and struggles.

09.01.2022 COVID MENTAL HEALTH COVID is certainly making it difficult for schools to help and assist families while in lockdown and remote learning. It is difficult for children to connect with their friends at school, at their sport such as footy and netball. We can all connect ‘virtually’ online, but it is not the same as the connection we have when face to face. Parents need to continue talking to their children about their mental health and also encourage kids to talk to each other. Parents are struggling just as much during this time. Look after yourselves parents and reach out if you are struggling. Reaching out is important for both children and parents. If you or someone you know is struggling mentally seek professional support. I am a qualified counsellor and have no waiting list. Message me to seek support

09.01.2022 SUICIDE RATES young people are at risk due to the COVID pandamic We need to talk about SUICIDE to open up the conversations with young people because we can’t always stop it but we can learn to try and educate. Talking about suicide does not put the idea in their head. Suicide is now the leading cause of death in young people. 9 out of 10 people who die by suicide have a mental illness. Signs that might be a sign someone is suicidal - Talking about or threatening suicide... - Seeking the means for suicide - Acting recklessly, anger, wanting revenge - No reason for living, no purpose in life - Anxiety, agitation, distress - Your gut feeling if you feel something is not right, then act on your feeling and ask the question if they feel like ending their life Seek professional help online services such as Lifeline or a trained mental health professional. I am a qualified mental health first aider and also a registered counsellor. Please reach out for support. See more

08.01.2022 TEN WAYS TO DEVELOP RESILIENCE 1. Make connections 2. Avoid seeing a crisis as an impossible problem 3. Accept change is part of living... 4. Move towards your goal 5. Take decisive actions 6. Look for opportunities of Self-discovery 7. Have a positive view of yourself 8. Keep things in perspective 9. Maintain a hopeful outlook 10. Take care of yourself See more

08.01.2022 HOLIDAYS ARE FAST APPROACHING... Holidays are fast approaching and some children will be starting their break this time next week. This time of the year can be very challenging for managing children’s behaviour, even those who are generally well behaved. Below are some tips for managing challenging behaviour 1. RESPONSIBILITY Give your child a special responsibility, something they don’t normally do. This may be helping plan a particular outing or meal. 2. ROLE MODEL... Be a role model and show how you enjoy the holiday and festive season. Encourage the importance of being together and partaking new activities and sports. 3. PRAISE Praise your child for the things they do well and the things they try hard to do. Even praise for their cooperation and participation in holiday activities. 4. SUPER PARENT It is hard to do everything yourself, with all the responsibilities over the holidays and the children at home. Explain and encourage children to assist with these. This may be cleaning up after family meals, peeling the vegetables for meals. 5. RELAX Finally relax, have fun and enjoy the time with your children over the holidays. Relax together as a family if needed. See more

08.01.2022 How to study and increase your marks A great article with excellent tips to help students get the most out of their study time - it is well worth the read! https://theparentswebsite.com.au/andrew-fuller-how-to-stud/

06.01.2022 HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES inside If you need a day inside here are some activities you can do.. Bake some cupcakes and decorate them Make a cubby house under the table with sheets... Make pizza for the family dinner Dance to music Have a theme day such as a butterfly day or a pirate day Make an obstacle course with pillows, chairs Write a letter to a friend Make recycled paper from old paper Try a new skill such as knitting or sewing See more

06.01.2022 HOLIDAY ACTIVITIES at night What could you do these wonderful summer mornings or nights when it is warm and barmy Do some star gazing Walk on the beach at sunrise or sunset... Walk around the local streets as a family with a torch to spot possums Have a movie night and make popcorn in home made cups Toast marshmallows Make dinner time like you are eating at a restaurant Play some card games together as a family What else do you like to do at night during these wonderful summers?

05.01.2022 LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER It is important to look out for each other as during this time anxiety and depression along with exhaustion and a feeling of being overwhelmed can really escalate. When you or your partner is feeling one of these aspects, then self care is very important. Focus on what you can control, develop routines such as walking or phone call chats, eating healthy meals. Generally, we are resilient humans, however if you or your partner are struggling please reach out and seek professional help. I am happy for you to PM me for any further queries. Stay safe and look after each other.

05.01.2022 TEENS HOOKED ON ONLINE GAMING The statistics 97% children play video games and 2% are addicted! In the USA 25% of the players are under the age of 18. Some tell tale signs of online gaming addiction... - Fixated with gaming and/ or hiding gaming use - Social withdrawal - Loss of interest in school - Loss of interest in other activities - Defensive and angry How to help your child with online gaming 1. Parents need to discuss and approach the child together so one parent does not appear weaker 2. Encourage educational games instead of violent games 3. Set time limits and be very clear with these. Discuss with the child and agree on a reasonable time to play a game 4. Connecting with school as some children turn to online gaming because they have a low self-esteem, may not be doing well at school

04.01.2022 COVID TIMES dad’s spending more quality time with their kids As restrictions continue across Victoria, it has been found that many dad’s working from home and were able to spend more time with their kids than usual. 61% of dad were helping with the learning and school work. This included teaching them life skills such as financial management, caring for pets, developing routines. The survey also showed that dads spent more time on leisure activities such as games, art, craft and reading. See the chart for more interesting facts and figures about dad’s and their COVID ISO time.

04.01.2022 Words matter. If you’re experiencing a strong emotion, take a moment to consider what to call it. But don’t stop there: once you’ve identified it, try to come ...up with two more words that describe how you are feeling. You might be surprised at the breadth of your emotionsor that you’ve unearthed a deeper emotion buried beneath the more obvious one.

03.01.2022 COPING WITH ANXIETY - LOCKDOWN AGAIN We hear about the number of Coronavirus cases increasing or a new outbreak somewhere, which can increase the level of anxiety amongst the community. It is expected that you may feel worried or uneasy during this stressful time, however we all need to learn to manage our stress to ensure it doesn’t turn to anxiety or panic. Below are some things you can do to minimise this risk - Try to limit the media exposure and only seek information fr...om reliable sources like the World Health Organisation - Keep things in perspective ask yourself are things worse than they really are? - Continue taking protective measures washing hands regularly, no touching face, seek medical advice if you experience symptoms (fever, cough, breathing difficulties) - Look after yourself for both mind and body Seek additional support when needed, through a psychologist or counsellor like myself, as I offer online support. Smile, laugh and connect with others.

02.01.2022 Year 12 Students what a year to remember! 2020 is certainly a year to remember for Year 12 students. As they begin the last lot of exams, will they get to experience their last assembly, their last lunch break with friends, muck up day, schoolies etc? Read the following article to see how compassion and understanding have been key in supporting the Year 12 students of 2020.... https://theparentswebsite.com.au/missing-the-good-stuff-he/ See more

02.01.2022 Digital Care Packs to help support kids through COVID-19 and beyond Each care pack is downloadable and is suitable for children aged 5-12. It provides activities to help build positive mental health and self belief as well as relief against worry and anxiety. Click on the link to find out more https://www.smilingmind.com.au/kids-care-packs-2

02.01.2022 SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AMONG TEENS INCREASE Since 2007, the number of teenagers reported feeling sad, hopeless or having suicidal thoughts has increased. In 2007, 11% of students surveyed had said they had made a suicide plan, however in 2017, it is now up to 17%. This ‘Risk Behaviour Survey, where the data comes from, is given to secondary school students every 2 years. The increase in numbers were particularly interesting among students who were bullied, lesbian, gay and bisexual students. Look after your teens and keep an eye on any different or unusual behaviour patterns. Follow up your gut feelings, offer a good listening ear and seek professional support if needed.

02.01.2022 COPING WITH KIDS Students are beginning to feel very overwhelmed and it is important to ensure parents are making their home environment feel safe. A lovely positive activity that all members of the family can do is to write a ‘Moment of Gratitude’ that brought them joy, that they will be looking forward to doing when they are not in lockdown. Write these down on slips of paper and place one or more in a jar each week. This can be something you as a family can visit and comp...lete when the time is safe and allowed (after lockdown). Encourage children to believe they are resilient and that there will be an end to the global pandemic and you are safe at home with family. For any concerns, please contact a registered professional like myself to help support yourself or your children.

01.01.2022 TRAUMA It is concerning to know that 80% of young people will experience a traumatic event by the time they become an adult. Traumatic events cause high levels of stress resulting in loss of interest in school, friends and generally life! These events may include experiencing or witnessing terrifying and life threatening situations such as assault, violence, motor vehicle accidents and domestic violence. Young people often keep these feelings and emotions to themselves, hidin...g how they really feel, or self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. School and life activities can be difficult and at times challenging. Generally, without treatment, individual’s education and life can be severely disrupted or persist into adulthood. It is estimated that 30-50% of young adults with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) are abusive or are dependent on alcohol. There are many signs of trauma, some of these include: strong emotions like sadness, fear, anxiety, poor sleep/nightmares, withdrawing from family & friends, risk-taking behaviour, self absorption, depression, drug/alcohol consumption, distrust of others, or decline in school results. Seek professional advice if you are concerned about anyone showing signs of trauma. As a qualified and registered counsellor, I am very happy to support or give advice if you are concerned about a young person you know.

01.01.2022 PERSEVERANCE IS SO POWERFUL as it lowers the risk of anxiety and depression. So, keep working at those life goals, continue to persevere and lower any possible mental health disorders. A study between 1995 and 2013 found that goal persistence decreased mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression and panic disorders. Encourage your kids to continue striving and persevering to move forward. Challenge them to not give up on something even when tings get tough, changin...g something for the better. Learning something meaningful from difficult situations or even when something goes wrong, find a bright side to the situation can help. Demonstrate and encourage perseverance of life goals with those around you to help avoid and lower mental health disorders.