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25.01.2022 The emotional outburst of The Bachelor contestant Zoe-Clare last night has led to government officials declaring the 12th of August as National Banga Ranga Day in the hopes that redheads everywhere will finally get some action. As Zoe-Clare said The way that people treat men and women with red hair needs to end right now. #redlivesmatter #rlm #thebachelor #bangaranga #surryhills

25.01.2022 The burden of choosing players for the upcoming NRL Supercoach draft is taking its toll on the mental health of men everywhere, but not fast enough says feminist Clementine Ford. Full story SHT. #nrl #supercoach #nrlsupercoach #twitter #feminism #cityofmelbourne #grants #clementineford #surryhills

24.01.2022 Picture the scene: youre minding your own business when five 19-year-old girls spontaneously turn up at your house and want to party. Who amongst us would turn them away? No one. And that's precisely what a survey of NRL fans has revealed: that if Nathan Cleary tests positive to any Covid-19-year-olds, resulting in the season restart being cancelled, therefore bankrupting the NRL forever, meaning no NRL is played ever again still, no NRL fan could possibly blame Nathan ...Cleary. And if they do, they're a hypocrite. #nrl #nathancleary #covid19 #corona #coronavirus #surryhills #panthers #lockdown

24.01.2022 The lockdown has had a real 'Shining' affect on one local whose girlfriend discovered his "groundbreaking novel" was not groundbreaking or a novel, and wearing condomhats is the #newnormal #surryhills #theshining #shining #covid #covid19 #corona #coronavirus #coronamemes #lockdown

23.01.2022 Employees of Bunnings have been instructed to wear industrial strength safety ear muffs against the mad ramblings of Karens. Whats that mate? yelled Barry, 52. Cant hear a word! Best day ever! #bunnings #karen #covid #coronavirus #surryhills

22.01.2022 Like the whole ordering a meal thing was going to stop us from disciplining our borderline alcoholism? Phhleeease. #surryhills #SHCP #urbanvillage #surryhillslive #covid #covid19 #corona #coronavirus #pubs #nsw #schitty #schnittie #howdoyouspellschnitt?

22.01.2022 The popular bleach has finally been cancelled due to its blatant racist undertones in spite of the fact it has always claimed to be safe for colours. A spokesman for the company stated the brand is to be renamed White Servant helping dull whites become brighter. Head of Brand, Mboto Kwali, went on to say that, Just because a fabric is white does not mean it should be washed first, more delicately, or for longer. This is not the kind of privilege any fabric should assume. #whiteprivilege #whiteking #whiteservent #surryhills #cancelled #cancelculture

21.01.2022 After a four day Netflix binge, local woman Jacinta turned to her boyfriend and asked, Hang on a sec, what day is it again?. Umm. Wednesday, replied Borge. Then they made the silly decision to exit the platform and turn on the news. Their reaction was to shrug their shoulders and go back to Season Three of Ozark before moving onto Killing Eve.... Whatever, said Jacinta. #longweekend #easter #easterweekend #binge #ozark #netflix #killingeve #covid10 #corona #coronavirus

21.01.2022 Coincidence? #zoom #conspiracy #nonsense #5G #corona #coronavirus #covid #covid19

20.01.2022 Petes done it again. Australias favourite chef has effectively found a cure for Covid-19 by inventing a time machine that allows us to travel to a time before the virus existed. Genius! The power source of the time machine is said to be self-righteousness and actual bull faeces, both in enormous supply at Evans residence. #surryhills #peteevans #napoleondynamite #timemachine #corona #coronamemes #Covid19

20.01.2022 I came home from work early and busted him in the bedroom on his laptop. At first I thought he was watching porn, then I realised it was far worse, wept an inconsolable Tabitha. Its a cardinal sin: streaming the fave show without your significant other. Well for one arsehole he got what he deserved, a fist straight to the head. Full story SHT... #surryhills #killingeve #abc #iview #abciview #corona #coronamemes #unforgivable #grub

19.01.2022 A newly woke Prince Philip has reflected on his torrents of historical racial abuse and has issued a grovelling apology to the world. His quotes in the past have included: If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it. In the light of his new wokeness the Prince has put his hand up to smooth over relations between Australia and China and ScoMo has gratefully accepted. #finally #princephilip #seenthelight #racism #scomo #australia #china #surryhills

17.01.2022 In July of 2018 the Surry Hills Times revealed that the NRL Bunker played host to one massive weekend bender after another. Its now become clear nothing has changed, which has resulted in a series of inexplicable decisions. Look, the Bunkers a chance for the boys to get away from the missus and kids and just tear it up. If that means the occasional poor decision so be it, said a clearly intoxicated Steve Clarke. The original article revealed that Super Saturday started wi...th a slab of beer and quickly turned into cocktails followed by suspicious delivery from a bloke called Robbo. Shortly afterwards spirits seemed much higher than usual. Then just prior to the late match on Saturday night a DJ arrived followed by a string of scantily-clad dancers. And in order to stay relaxed, match officials were openly viewing pornography on up to eight screens at a time. Let the good times roll," said Mr Clarke. The original article can be found here: http://surryhillstimes.com/nrlbunker/ #nrl #surryhills #nrlbunker #booze #dragons #nrldragons #stgeorge

16.01.2022 Gladdy is tearing it up on the dating apps with multiple profiles proving once again she’s a woman with needs. (Just don't be a bald fatty named 'Darryl'.) You go for it Gladdy. You go #nsw #gladdy #gladys #tinder #bumble #adultfun #casual #surryhills

15.01.2022 Marrickville was yesterday declared the 10th coolest suburb in the world, putting Surry Hills residents into a spin. I’ll be blooming well buggered if I’ll let Marrickville outcool the Hills, said Doreen Miles, 78, of Arthur St. That’s why I’m getting this sweet sleeve. If any punks from the Rick wander into my hood they’ll know what’s what. The tattoo featuring a dragon slaying warrior princess took 7 hours to create and was tattooed in one sitting. #surryhills #marrickville #timeout #cool #coolest #tats #sleeves #doreen

14.01.2022 Rufus gazed at his delicious schooner of beer and thought, yes, definitely half full. It is a glorious time for Sydney now that our pubs have reopened and everyone including Rufus is more optimistic. Unfortunately Rufus downed another five schooners and had to be led out of the pub before he humped the leg off a chair at the Carro... ... But, glass houses. The little fella is welcome back anytime. #glasshalffull #thecarro #carrodogs #surryhills #surryhillseats #dogfriendlynsw #dogfriendlypub #dogfriendlysydney #sydneypubs #surryhillsdogs #dog #dogs #doggo #dogsofinstagram

14.01.2022 Local finger puppets have made their feelings known after puppetry has been cruelly stripped from the high school syllabus to inexplicably make way for Maths and English. #surryhills #shcp #urbanvillage #puppetry #thebird #maths #english

14.01.2022 Under lockdown, every weekday is Friday, so live it up people! #surryhills #tgif #coronavirus #corona #covid #covid_19 #liveitup #whynot #friday #hellofriday

14.01.2022 Husbands have said farewell to their wives and children as they return to their position on the couch to consume another mouthwatering season of footy. I got to know the kids pretty well over the covid lockdown, but thats over now! said an excited Max 39. Until Sunday 4 October its me, the couch and Rugba League. #nrl #rugbaleague #rugbyleague #footy #foxsports #channel9 #covid #covid19 #goodbye

13.01.2022 Michelle Raso is in a state of shock. Umm, hello, I persuade children to eat sugary breakfast cereals, borderline alcoholics to guzzle booze and fatties to smash burgers. How am I NOT considered essential FFS? #surryhills #advertising #mumbrella #covid19 #covid_19 #corona #coronavirus #B&T #adnews #lockdown

12.01.2022 Shockingly, a local man has planned a road trip this Easter Long Weekend... #easter #longweekend #travelban #covid19 #covid_19 #coronavirus #corona #dickhead

11.01.2022 The SHT is calling for mandatory KPIs on all weathermen and women. Rain was confidently predicted, yet the skies were blue. If we'd have known we would have done the laundry. This is a disgrace. What other profession gets away with such flagrant untruths? From today the Surry Hills Times is launching a petition to get weatherpeople to apologise for getting it wrong. Oh well, at least this has nothing to do with C19. Full story: surryhillstimes.com #kpis #timbailey #weathermen #weatherwomen #weatherpeople #ffs #corona #lockdown #laundry

10.01.2022 Its untested and potentially lethal and now that Trump has told the world hes taking it, we all pray it lives up to the hype and finally rids us of the worst thing to happen since Corona Virus Donald J Trump. #surryhills #trump #hydroxychloroquine #corona #covid19 #coronavirus #shcp #donaldjtrump #insane #nonsense #morbidlyobese

10.01.2022 Cameron Smith has finally committed to the Melbourne Storm, signing an 8 year deal with the option of another 6 meaning the hooker is set to stay with the club until hes 45, or if he sees out his contract extension, 51. Smith said, Im looking forward to being a one club ref. #nrl #melbournestorm #cameronsmith #surryhills

10.01.2022 Lock up everything. After months of social restrictions every day is Mad Monday. God help us. #surryhills #nrl #madmonday #socialrestrictions #joey #the8th #lockdown #covid

10.01.2022 In spite of his good intentions the Easter Bunny has been fined for travelling unnecessarily this Easter Sunday by NSW police due to social isolation restrictions affecting the state. Mate, I was just trying to deliver some fuckin eggs, for fucks sake, said Mr Bunny. Full story SHT... #easter #easterbunny #eastersunday #covid19 #covid #corona #coronavirus #lockdown

09.01.2022 The master coach kicked back on the couch with some snacks and the PS4 today, kicking some serious arse on FIFA. Updates to follow. #nrl #iso #covid #corona #waynebennett #souths #NRLRabbitohsBroncos #mastercoach #ps4 #fifa

08.01.2022 If youve pissed off for the weekend youre very, very naughty. But if the cops do pull you over the SHT has some wonderful advice: simply say this, Im buying a jigsaw. If its good enough for ScoMos missus, Jenny, its good enough for you. #buyingajigsaw #easter #easterweekend #longweekend #covid19 #corona #coronavirus #scomo #jenny #jennysgotajigsaw

08.01.2022 Everybodys said it before and Ill say it again. What day is it? #surryhills #lockdown #corona #coronamemes #coronameme #coronavirus #covid19

08.01.2022 One local Dad got it horribly wrong: it's Mercury, Venus, Earth, then Mars. Parents are outraged as the children of Surry Hills have been taught the incorrect order of the planets thanks to it being chalked on the square next to Shannon Reserve on Crown Street. The Education Minister has been advised and we are awaiting a response. #surryhills #homeschooling #disaster #planets #outrage

07.01.2022 Gods chosen one, Israel Folau, has a warning for all of us self-isolating, and in short, were all in big trouble. #surryhills #binge #netflix #covid19 #corona #coronavirus #lockdown #mormons #christians #god #hellawaits #izzy #folau

07.01.2022 Now that were allowed to go out who could be bothered? That means having to talk to actual people, and the couch is just lovely thank you very much. So now the bullshit excuses have begun to flow... #surryhills #covid19 #corona #coronavirus #coronamemes #lockdown #earlymark #australia #bullshit #excuses

05.01.2022 Clarry O’Mare, 62, has always loathed the afternoon sun streaming into his Surry Hills terrace. Finally he decided to install a blockout sunscreen. Next thing I knew, blokes would turn up at all hours. Over the last few weeks Clarry estimates there have been hundreds. Tradies, businessmen, all types. I never knew Surry Hills was so friendly! I invite the blokes in for a cup of tea. I’m never sure what they’re after, they seem a bit toey when they arrive but a cuppa generally settles them down. #surryhills #sydney #wtf #stayconnected #cuppa

04.01.2022 As the sensationally sordid trial comes to an end the world has united in prayer, in the hope that somehow this wonderful hot mess will continue. We all desperately need distraction right now and theres nothing more entertaining than discovering that its not beneath Hollywood superstars to drop a spite poo on their partners bed and blame it on the dog. #surryhills #pray #heardvdepp #spitepoo

04.01.2022 An obsession with SAS Australia has a local man believing he’s a cockney SAS Sergeant who has the right to bark orders constantly, even while his girlfriend is calmly sewing doilies while drinking a cuppa. However, in a stunning reversal the man was forced to do pushups at 3am in the shower while his girlfriend called him a "MAGGOT". I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S COME OVER US!, she shouted. "BUT I KINDA LIKE IT".... #sasaustralia #ch7 #channel7 #sas #surryhills

04.01.2022 The much anticipated restart to the Rugba League season is now over. Chairman Peter VLandys has made the decision to respect the wishes of a true Titan of the game, Bryce Cartwright, whose statistics are unmatched in the NRL, particularly for missed tackles and win/loss percentage. #nrl #titans #antivax #ridiculous #corona #surryhills

04.01.2022 The kids. Parents have enough of the kids. There is no escape. One loophole? Hide and Seek. One local genius locked himself in the cupboard all weekend with a case of stubbies and enjoyed the serenity. Oh the serenity. #surryhills #coronamemes #corona #coronavirus #parenting #covid19 #killme

03.01.2022 Most Zoom meetings you can be on the dunny in your pjs backing one out, and no one gives a crap (except you, obviously) but some you have to get all dressed up and pretend youre in the office. The good news is that, on Zoom, with a shot of the background from your desk, you're set. Well this guy bluffed em, and was happy to share the good news by busting out of the house in his bluffin gear to strut around the hood. And while were on the subject, what about Zoom? Initially we were excited about working from home because we could actually get some work done. Then came Zoom. Now were constantly in Zoom meetings. Zoom has killed productivity followed by a lovely chance to bludge and rewatch Mad Men unencumbered. Shame. #surryhills #zoom #covid #covid19 #corona #coronavirus #bluffin #madmen #lockdown

02.01.2022 As the St George Dragons take on the Sharks today the Dragons board has thrown its support behind their coach. Peter Doust said, If McGregor identifies himself as an actual first grade rugby league coach it would be inappropriate of us to deny him that right. Long suffering Dragons fans will watch the game today with interest in the hope that Paul McGregor is able to actually transition successfully. And it seems fans agree with the board. Long suffering fan Daniel Corbett... said, If McGregor identifies as a coach it would be inappropriate to deny him that right. It would be deeply inappropriate. And as a rugby league fan I take it upon myself to never be inappropriate. #sti #stgeorge #nrl #transitioning #godhelpus #triplem #footy

01.01.2022 Clover has nailed it again, and the kids have never been happier. #surryhills #shcp #urbanvillage #crownstreet #kids #clover #cityofsydney