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22.01.2022 You constantly need to remove tolerations and simplify your life Life can get so complicated and complex so quickly and we can often benefit from some simplification. Especially those things we are tolerating they need to go. They can creep up on us and each time we tolerate them it drains a little of our energy. I have a list of 1001 Tolerations that I glance over from time to time and see if anything similar has sneaked into my life. Here is a short sample if you woul...d like the full list just ask. Many are simple, little things that just need to be removed. I do not have enough storage space for all of my office files My desk is full of stacks of paper I am overweight My guest bedroom needs cleaning up it looks like a storage room I don’t schedule enough time to dream The non-leadership style of my senior leader I am tolerating needy relatives You get the idea. What are you tolerating right now? comment 'tolerations' below if you would like me to send you a copy Leadership

20.01.2022 Taking thoughts captive Second Corinthians (Chapter 10:5) instructs us to take every thought captive and make it obedient unto Christ. We shouldn’t feel guilty about having wrong thoughts that’s called temptation and that isn’t wrong. Where we might need to feel guilty is when we dwell on that wrong thought, develop it a little, positively dream about it because then we haven’t put it under the authority of Christ. ... Everything begins in the mind. The keyboard I am typing on, the screen I am reading this on (and the one you are) was first conceived in someone’s mind, then developed into a physical reality. Once we master this skill then we need to share and teach it to the young people we know. #MentalHealth

19.01.2022 Readers are leaders? Leaders are readers! If that’s the case what book or books are you reading right now? How many have you read so far this year? Which do you recommend? My current answers would be:... 1. Living by the Book and The Power of prophetic Vision 2. It’s September and I am on24 3. Heaps: Living by the Book (I am on my 3rd reading); Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; The 5 am Club for starters! #Leadership

19.01.2022 #Overcoming fear Fear is natural, normal and good. How we handle it can be useful or damaging. With relational youth work fear can surface in a number of ways: Fear of leaving our safe space (church?) and going into their world (streets, school, prison)... Fear of making initial contact (easier if you have a context if they know who you are and what you do Fear that you might be rejected (the pain can be quite short-lived) Fear that they might ask a question that you can’t answer (I suggest saying I don’t know I will check it out and get back to you) Fear of not being good enough (oh the BIG one please refer to your Bible for God’s perspective on this) Fear is real but often based on false evidence. The best way to deal with it ? Feel the fear and do it anyway! What is the scariest part of youth ministry for you? #RelationalYouthMinistry

17.01.2022 Positive mindset If you can whistle then do so whilst listening to Monty Python’s song Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. One thing is certain there always is a bright side even if it is not immediately obvious or currently available. If we are loved by God and called according to His purpose then all things will work out for our good (Romans 8:28) Our circumstances may not be under our control but our response and the way we view them always is. Do you generally see... the glass as half full or half empty? I know several pessimistic people who don’t even acknowledge that they have a glass at all. The main point of the glass analogy is to understand that whether your glass is currently half full or half empty it is refillable! After adopting a positive mindset and filling up your own glass then fill up a young person’s glass today. #MentalHealth

15.01.2022 Sexuality now what do I do? Here are some things that a teenager will need to know about sexuality: 1. They need to know that you understand their sexual maturation and want them to feel good about their bodies and their developing sexuality. It doesn’t take any imagination to realise that this area of development is brand new to them. It is something that they have heard about, read about and eagerly waited for they need you to be open to discuss it. If their only sou...Continue reading

15.01.2022 When they want to get a Tattoo So, your child tells you they want to get a tattoo. Do you yell, blame their friends, tell them no way, not as long as they’re under your roof, or lock them away? Probably not a good idea to do any of these. Within the last decade or so, tattoos have become very popular, especially among celebrities and others in the entertainment industry. These are some of the people your child probably admires. Getting a tattoo is usually about self-exp...ression as children want to do something that shows how they feel. If you are okay with them getting a tattoo then fine, but if you’re not, there are a couple of things you might try to dissuade them. Before dealing with the issue try and gauge how you think your child will handle your response. This can be done only if you know your child well. This is not likely to be your first crisis and it certainly won’t be your last, so try and remember how you have dealt with others in the past. Is your child introspective and not likely to do things hastily or without serious thought? Or, do they tend to be rebellious and do the opposite of what you tell them? Are they greatly influenced by friends and likely not try to think things through for themselves? If your child is more introspective, it's likely they did not come to the decision on a whim. It would be more productive if you try to talk it over with them and try to understand why they came to that decision and what they hope to achieve. Trying to come down too hard is not likely to work with this one; it’s probably better to try and reach a compromise. If your child is rebellious and usually likes to defy you, perhaps a little reverse psychology might work. Tell them that it’s okay for them to get the tattoo; you really have no problem with it. Chances are they will not get it just so that they do the opposite of what you want them to. There is no guarantee it will work, but it’s certainly worth a try. For children who tend to be followers, you have to get to their leader. Try and speak to a friend who has a real influence. You can perhaps lay down the law with this one and tell them that they have to obey what you say as long as they’re under your roof. They will probably be very angry, but they will consult their peers before doing anything rash; hopefully, by then they would have realized their error. It is possible that no matter what you try your child will decide to get a tattoo. In this case, try to have some influence by ensuring that they get a very small one and place it in an obscure location. You might not be happy, but it is a compromise under the circumstances and, when you think about it, getting a tattoo is not the worst thing your child could decide to do.

13.01.2022 Relationships are more important than programs Youth ministry’s foundation is the youth program and quite rightly so. It is the program that creates excitement, encourages attendance, creates opportunities to invite friends, promotes planning. BUT the essence of youth ministry is relationship. The program facilitates the opportunities to meet young people and build relationships that will change lives (yours and theirs).... Of course relationships are more difficult they take more time, they need to be individual, they can be painful and are always challenging. However they are more fruitful, they last longer and can be used to reveal God in a personal way. As our youth ministry grows we may find it more difficult to build relationships with every young person and may find our time better spent building relationships with our leaders. Making sure that every young person has a relationship with one of the leadership team. Small groups are a great stepping stone in this. How many people (young people or team members) do you think it is reasonable to have a quality relationship with? #Youthwork

13.01.2022 How Today is RU OK Day - have a conversation that can change a life!

11.01.2022 Limits set by you will become obstacles Whilst I think I understand a little of the psychology behind it, I would often look at certain people, specific industries, particular businesses and pre-decide that they would not want to give to the ministry so I didn’t ask. ... It was also possible that I didn’t approach certain churches (I was working for a para-church organisation) because I decided they wouldn’t have any money to give and neither would their congregation members. Of course it was ultimately fear of rejection probably. Whatever the reason it was wrong. My role was to place the need and opportunity in front of people not to decide if they could afford it (or incidentally to make them feel bad if they chose not to support). The desire to give then becomes rightly between the giver and God. #Fundraising

10.01.2022 Have responsible expectations Somehow, when working with troubled young people particularly, it is possible to have expectations that are rarely achieved. Of course I am not denying the opportunity for divine intervention but, at the same time, to be responsible in our approach. If I meet someone from a broken home, living on the street or in prison, a drug user then if I expect them to become law-abiding, return to their parents and totally straighten their lives just becaus...e they have met me then we would both be likely to be disappointed. I need to encourage them to take a step towards their personal freedom in their own personal way. Small, steady steps will achieve great change in time. #RelationalYouthMinistry

10.01.2022 Yes - you make a difference!

05.01.2022 Quick change everything is different Here are some of the effects that change will have on teenagers. Uncertainty: the loss of Truth...Continue reading

05.01.2022 Servant leadership is the better way If we had to choose a role model for our leadership, for our life then we would be best to choose Jesus. I realise that is the standard ubiquitous Sunday School answer but in this case it is the right one. Whilst He had the right to be served as He was (and is) the ultimate leader He chose to set that aside and serve. He modelled a different way, a better way. He was the one who washed His disciples feet; He was the one who laid down Hi...s life. Please don’t lord it over your leaders or the young people in your church. Serve them. Don’t expect your senior leadership to do everything for you serve them. It really is the better way. #Leadership

05.01.2022 **B**oldness is often necessary If we are going to achieve the dream that is inside us then we will have times when we have to be bold. It may involve making a phone call, crossing a room to speak to someone, making a presentation in front of a crowd or developing a sales pitch. My advice would be to press in, don’t step back but take the challenge that is before you.... Be bold, Be strong! Yes, of course you can do it. #AchieveYourDream

04.01.2022 Express it tell others about your dream There is power in sharing your dream with other people. There is a risk too. As you share your dream with others it creates inner accountability; a need to save face; a demolition of an escape route. If you don’t do it now you have to explain yourself to others. It’s a free success tool.... Just be careful whom you express it to don’t tell those people in your life that will ridicule and tell you that it’s impossible what do they know anyway! #AchieveYourDream

04.01.2022 Outside Influences Change: Beware Shifting Sands! It is crucial to be aware of the extent to which you too will encounter change as you take this journey. We have already looked at some of the internal changes that a teenager goes through, and indicated that you yourself may well experience change at this time. You must also be clear that the very environment in which the journey takes place is changing. Young people do grow up under more pressure today than ever before and...Continue reading

01.01.2022 Mental changes are part of the journey too George Bernard Shaw (an Irish playwright) said that youth is wasted on the young. At a time when their mental capacity is still growing the young person has so many life-changing decisions to make that they do not seem to have the time to enjoy the experience of being young. Erik Erikson, a child psychologist has put forward the idea that adolescence is a staging post between being a child and an adult, a sort of inn where the horses...Continue reading