The Women’s Psychology Clinic in Cabarita Beach | Medical and health

The Women’s Psychology Clinic

Locality: Cabarita Beach

Phone: +61 498 460 649

Address: 3c/ 35 Tweed Coast Road 2488 Cabarita Beach, NSW, Australia

Website: http://www.thewomenspsychologyclinic.com/

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24.01.2022 Early experiences & socio-cultural messaging has shaped the very thoughts you have about your appearance. Your pre-occupation with your appearance isn’t your fault. Your desire to change your appearance isn’t your fault. Your dissatisfaction with your appearance isn’t your fault. Your early experiences might have provided you with direct messaging that your appearance was your ticket to being seen, heard + accepted. You may have learnt this from direct praise about your app...earance, modelling from others with a pre-occupation with appearance or from being bullied for your appearance. Again our underdeveloped mind will make quick assumptions about who we are and what we need to do to be accepted. This potentially set the foundation for core-beliefs that your worthiness was tied up in your appearance. This then set the tone for automatic thoughts and behaviours fixated on your appearance. All of your actions unknowingly feeding the belief that your appearance was your worth. Then one day you find yourself immersed deep in a culture where every where you look your being told you need to smooth out your wrinkles, grow your glutes, thicken up your eye-brows and tack god knows what onto your eyelashes, and let’s not forget your lips. All of these actions are such a personal choice but I feel for us women as collective that we have gotten so fixated on our appearance that we are willing to go to quite extreme measures to change our genetic blueprint. To essentially re-model who we are. This week I’m going to be shining the spotlight on body respect, acceptance + neutrality. How you can foster a deeper appreciation for your uniqueness. If you find yourself stuck in these patterns whether it be thoughts, feelings, behaviours or all of it...please don’t judge yourself for this but offer yourself some compassion for being a human and responding in a very human way. #intuitiveeatingofficial #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #bodydysmorphia #bodyacceptance #bodyrespect #bodyneutrality #bodylove #bodydiversity #womenswellness #womensfitness #womenshealth #selfcompassion

19.01.2022 90% of mothers report experiencing Mum guilt, it’s presence can lead to stress, overwhelm and contribute to the development of anxiety and depression. Last week I had the pleasure of being interviewed by 9 News Reporter Alice Monfries on how we can work to reduce the impact of Mum Guilt.

16.01.2022 D I S C O M F O R T We are often unaware that by avoiding temporary discomfort that comes with value-aligned action we are actually sitting in a slow burn soul depleting discomfort. We all have that little voice deep within us that is so aware of our potential. We can sometimes catch this in the form of dreams, ideas, fantasy. As we start to delve deeper into the detail of these dreams our limiting beliefs will quickly pull us back to our familiar state of safety. This fee...ls comfortable at the time. It’s the relief that comes with avoiding discomfort. We get tricked into think we are safe and comfortable when in actual fact we are living in a slow burn of discomfort. One where there isn’t growth on the other side but stagnation and even regression. When we come to appreciate that the short sharp discomfort of value-aligned change means we are growing we can change our relationship to discomfort. We can allow it, let her sit next to us, reframe it as evidence that we are stretching our comfort zone. If we want growth, fulfilment, living life on our terms we need to WELCOME discomfort. When I talk about discomfort it will look unique for the individual. Discomfort doesn’t always look like pushing harder, hustling, striving. For many their growth discomfort looks like pausing, resting, pleasure seeking. #comfortzones #growth #selfdevelopment #personaldevelopment #womensmindset #mumswithhustle #edrecovery #selfcompassion #intuitiveeating #haes #womenshealth

16.01.2022 ANNOUNCEMENT This is really scary to admit, to vocalise and to take the uncomfortable action. This year has been big for all of us in different ways. I am going on sabbatical for 6 months from direct 1:1 work to restore myself, have fun, write + create. For more of my story it will be saved in a highlight called CHANGE. Here’s to being vulnerable, changing course, embracing uncertainty and taking a chance on yourself. ... Big love to you all

15.01.2022 W I R E D T O B E L O N G We are all born into this world with an innate need to belong. This sits deep within us and never leaves. You may have received messaging as a child (overt, covert modelling) that your appearance was worthy of praise and acknowledgement and therefore became your ticket to be seen, heard and accepted or alternatively you received messaging that there was something wrong with your appearance. Implicitly you may have also learnt that you needed to ...change your appearance to be seen, heard & accepted. It is essential we understand where the modern woman’s pre-occupation with appearance is coming from so we can effectively re-wire body dissatisfaction. Below are my top tips on how to start this re-wiring process 1. Validate your inner child’s unmet needs - Acknowledge child self is more than appearance - born worthy - a whole person. Body is a vessel moving though life collecting experiences 2. Open up dialogue with current self - expand it beyond appearance 3. You need to belong to yourself first, appreciate your uniqueness. You were not created to have your worth tied up in winning the approval of others for conforming to very narrow beauty ideals. - Challenge the thoughts that you need to conform - Generate the thoughts of what would it be like if you let your body be , how does life + genetics want to express your appearance 4. When you feel compelled to engage in a body conforming behaviour ask yourself where is this coming from? How would it feel to drop the battle? To not engage in that behaviour. I would LOVE to know if this resonates for you. What do you think? #intuitiveeatingofficial #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #bodyneutrality #bodyacceptance #bodypositivity #bodyimage #bodydysmorphicdisorder #womenshealth #womensfitness #womenswellness

15.01.2022 When you know better you don’t always do better... I can bet there are so many of you lovely people here that really know what you need to do to look after yourself. You can see your patterns. You can see where you are getting stuck and you know the antidote like the back of your hand. Despite all of this knowing you might get really infuriated that this isn’t translating into change. The change you so desperately want. ... It’s here we need to make the distinction that there is a gigantic difference between knowing and doing. In order to create change it takes so much more than simply knowing. Don’t get me wrong, knowing is essential but getting traction with change goes beyond just knowing. So what’s a gal to do? How do we move from knowing into doing? Below are a handful of my top tips to move beyond just knowing. 1. Meet yourself in your current reality to allow acceptance of what is. All too often we get fixated on what needs to change or what we want that we fail to engage this foundational step for change. Self-compassion is the ability to relate to yourself from a stance of unconditional positive regard, support, kindness and validation. The key word there being VALIDATION. Saying to yourself it makes sense that x, y, z is happening, it’s OK. 2. SLOW DOWN - change takes time. Especially when we are trying to help our mind move away from YEARS of familiar patterning. Patterning that has become so unconsciously habitual. When you change the pace it provides you with a surplus of opportunities within a day to PAUSE and notice the choice point to redirect your thinking & behaviour. Repetition of doing the unfamiliar creates the new patterns. 3. DIG DEEP - we can get a lot more traction with change when we understand that our habits are likely to be arising from unmet needs in childhood which we can still be carrying the emotional wounding around with us. This keeps all of our maladaptive patterning alive. Journal back to your younger self. What happened? How did you feel? Validate your younger self. Let go of the inaccurate assumptions you made about yourself. Start to entertain the idea that you can create new patterns from what you tell yourself

14.01.2022 Ceasefire on the war with your body I’m yet to meet a woman that hasn’t at some point in her life be embroiled in a battle with her body. When I think about the collective pain women have endured just in this sphere it fills me with waves of grief for the gravity of the psychological distress, the hours/days/weeks/months/years spent in this battle, the money spent, the attempts to re-model ones DNA all to fit within a very narrow ideal of beauty. We can definitely stay on th...e merry-go-round of self flagellation which then breeds behaviours to bring about desired body/ appear with changes,get the dopamine kick, - feel some sense of enoughness (code for now feeling that we are worthy enough to belong) and then when that feeling fades (which it will as your worthiness is now tied to something external) you will then reach for the next behaviour to change who you are. I’m hoping it’s well before our last breath that we realise: 1. Our bodies are more than our appearance 2. The way our DNA is expressed and how that interacts with our life is a total work of art worth valuing & celebrating. If your keen to jump off the merry-go-round with me...here are my top tips to the FIRST STEP which is B O D Y R E S P E C T (CON’T IN COMMENTS)

12.01.2022 Check in with your 80 year old self This is it. There is no other life. No other chance. Each day is a day to live with presence, intention, joy, peace & a good dose of fun. I know how easy it is to live on autopilot. To unknowingly stay stuck in the same thoughts and patterns that you have for the past 30 odd years. I know how hard it can feel to do things differently. To take bold, scary unfamiliar action. To stretch comfort zones. ... I’m also super aware of the cumulative melancholy that builds when we are not being true to our heartfelt desires & values. When we are in a constant mode of reactivity. When we are meeting the needs of everyone else but ourselves. When we are trying to do the right thing instead of doing the best thing for ourselves. A constant practice I come back to is going to my last breath. If I’m lucky enough I’m close to 80 I close my eyes and think back on the life that I lived. What were my favourite moments? What are the moments I want to relive? What did I learn? What impact did I make? What do I wish I did more of? What do I wish I did less of? These questions have helped me to get to where I am today. Of taking some bloody scary action to say no to the comfort of my well established business. To step away ( temporarily) from work that fills my soul & my mind but also has a high emotional energy expenditure. 5 weeks ago I sat in a truth that I couldn’t shake. I was burnt out. I wanted more time for myself to be and have fun. I wanted time to do my work in a different way. I felt imprisoned until I realised I held the key to the gate to set me free. I’m super passionate about supporting women to live a life that holds so much meaning & joy. In order to keep on this path I’ve needed to take a detour down a path filled with unknown terrain. It’s scary but exciting. I hope this can encourage you to go to your last breath and get clear on what you need to change to live the life you deserve. #growthmindset #change #matrescence #personldevelopment #motherhoodunplugged #psychologistsofinstagram #valuedrivenlife #maternalmentalhealth #womensmentalhealth #wellnesscourse #brisbanemums #melbournemums

12.01.2022 P E R M I S S I O N T O S T O P I’ve always been big on the use of pausing as a helpful strategy to catch where we are, reflect and then respond in a way that will be helpful. Pausing is incredibly useful, necessary! But how about the STOP ?... If I’m completely honest I have always been petrified of the stop. I suffered from depression when I was younger and then also after my second son and for me when I was depressed it felt like the stop was insufferably suffocating. The more my mood dropped, the less I would do, the more I withdrew, the more I lost energy and motivation. The more I stopped the more anxious I became. The vicious cycle would ensue. A key part of CBT for depression is BEHAVIOURAL ACTIVATION. Planning activities / tasks that will bring a sense of mastery and accomplishment. Thankfully the few years studying psychology helped me out but I can also have a tendency to overfunction. To busy myself so I don’t have to sit in the discomfort. I took behavioural activation to new heights! Maybe you have too? It’s only now I’m leaning into buttloads of discomfort to properly STOP. There is no clear plan for what’s next. There’s discomfort and excitement and learning how to really trust myself. Sometimes the pause won’t do. Sometimes you need to come to a screeching halt and that’s OK Please let this be a reminder that it’s completely ok to not have a clear plan. It’s ok to STOP. It’s ok to lean into the discomfort of saying no to old patterns. #growth #womenshealth #womenswellbeing #growthmindset #selftrust #selfconfidence #comfortzones #motherhoodunplugged #matrescence #selfcompassion

09.01.2022 You may unknowingly be in patterns that you believe to be good for you when in actual fact it’s keeping you stuck, scared, depleted and is the most widely accepted form of self-harm. There’s a part of your mind that has convinced you that it’s serving you. It’s familiar, predictable and offers a temporary dopamine hit or offers a false refuge. On paper these patterns might even be applauded by others. A measure of success. A measure of having your s$&t together. Maybe ...the external validation also serves a part of getting that dopamine release. I’m sure there’s even a cluster of sun-conscious beliefs propelling you and keeping you stuck in these patterns as the fear to do it differently feels like murky waters. Whether it’s now, next year, or 5 years time, I urge you to choose to check in with your wise mind. The part of you that knows you intimately. The part of you that can see all of the self-harm in your patterns when others can only see the shiny gleam. Honesty with yourself + honouring you’re happiness will count for so much more on your final breathe then whether you ticked all the boxes. Go to the part of your mind that holds the truth. Sit with her. Offer her compassion and gently ask her what truly matters? If no one could see what you were doing. If no one could actually see you, what would you be doing? What do you need that’s really going to be good for you? What do you want to thank yourself for in your final moment? Go there, do that. #psychologistsofinstagram #maternalmentalhealth #motherhoodunplugged #womenswellness #womenshealth #selfcompassion #personaldevelopment #selfpreservation #selfhonesty #rewiringthebrain #selfbelief

09.01.2022 STORIES For any given situation your mind will bring up a familiar story. The story’s our minds will tend to automatically bring up will be negative, global, rigid, and limiting. This is our brains job! Thanks brain ... It wants to keep us safe. It wants to stick with the familiar. It wants to keep us in our dysfunctional comfort zone because the unknown COULD bring threat. When we understand this is our brains job but we can steer her in a different direction, effectively re-wire her we start seeing ALL of the possibilities in front of us. We start seeing ourselves as clever agents of change that can recognise the automatic story, place it next to us, step into our observer mind and let our mind entertain what life would feel like if these negative stories didn’t exist. Planting this seed is everything! You can then water and nourish this new story with lots of visualisation, and making small (or big) uncomfortable steps which will only serve to unhinge these negative stories and allow the supportive & life giving stories to grow! Please know you are not your stories! They can sit next to you but you no longer need to keep operating form them! #personaldevelopment #growthmindset #comfortzones #womenshealth #womensmindset #womenempowerment #womenswellness #selfcompassion #mindfulness #northernnsw #goldcoastmums #byronbaymums #sydneymums #melbournemums

03.01.2022 By now we are all pretty well aware that there are circumstances that we don’t choose in life. Bad things happen that we may have no influence over. Sometimes traumatic or unfortunate events can set the foundation for an internal prison deep within your mind. This is part of the human condition. As the mind believes that you will be safer in the prison as those 4 walls and stone cold floor is familiar. However, if we don’t bring awareness to this prison, start to question it..., challenge it and break it down it will continue to keep you stuck and you will absolutely have your last breathe in this prison. Here’s the best bit of the human condition.... we GET TO HAVE INFLUENCE over whether we stay stuck in that prison or whether we can emancipate ourselves once and for all. The scary part is that you are the only one who can truly free yourself. It all begins with the belief that you can free yourself and taking the next best step to freedom. Once your out it can feel so unfamiliar, you might even miss the cold floor but you can’t help but notice the warmth of the sun on your cheek, the boundless space & possibility. You deserve this psychological freedom, we all do #drlibbyquinn #freedom #growthmindset #selfcompassion #positivepsychology #wiser #gratitude #mindsetshift #womenshealth #womensfitness #posttraumaticgrowth #goldcoastmums #brisbanemums #sydneymums #melbournemums See more

02.01.2022 Change will find you. As much as we might try to control and keep life safe, there is so much in life that is outside of our control not least the passage of time which by its very nature will invoke change. Just as there is unforeseen change there is unforeseen growth. This growth happens as a byproduct of our inner experience in reacting with the external world. We see things differently, broaden our lens, empathy and wisdom just by moving through experiences. This is almo...st like free growth. It just happens. The other form of growth and change is the type that we need to take clear intentional + committed action on. It’s the growth we want to avoid but deeply know it is what we truly need. When it comes to this form of growth we are more likely to stay stuck if we don’t have the following 3 elements: 1. Committed action - a commitment is necessary so that all the parts of you know that you are serious about this. This might entail some form of financial commitment / investment in yourself. 2. Support - when we are trying to generate new neural pathways that feel so unfamiliar having support means that you have an ally guiding you and encouraging you through the uncomfortable terrain. 3. Accountability- being accountable to one or several people helps to make your desire for change more real. Again when trying to generate growth that signals discomfort without accountability you are more likely to listen to the discomfort and keep avoiding. What element do you need more of to navigate your growth discomfort ? #growthmindset #change #womenswellness #womenshealth #womensfitness #committedaction #edrecovery #intuitiveeatingofficial #melbournemums #sydneymums #brisbanemums #goldcoastmums