Amy Savage vs Life | Other
Amy Savage vs Life
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25.01.2022 If I ever get married (which I won't) but if I do I can promise you there will be absolutely 1000% no sign of the Greece megamix on my dance floor at the reception.
25.01.2022 Sharing statuses about mental health and shit doesn't make you a good person. Type up your own status and tell everyone about how you've actually been there helping someone who suddenly doesn't see the world the way everyone else does, despite how uncomfortable and confronting those situations are, as opposed to just copying and pasting some bullshit. You probably can't because after hearing someone say they want to end their life more than once, or watching someone enter their third psychosis you copy and pasters are the type of people to whip out the old "cant help someone that doesn't want to help themselves" crap. Gaaaaay. Go back to collecting beanie babies and leave the hard stuff to people who actually have a back bone xoxo
24.01.2022 Before I had kids I questioned whether the whole concept of being a morning person was just a myth and some of us simply did not go to bed early enough. But that is bullshit! Let me tell you a little story about two little boys, born from the same womb at the same time and they are put to bed every night at the exact same time. One little cherub is up at the butt crack of dawn every day with a smile and a work ethic. The other sleeps till I have to physically drag him out of... bed, and despite doing it as gently and nicely as I can, the little worm has an attitude till lunch. They sleep THE SAME AMOUNT OF HOURS. Like really you couldn't get a better set of people to compare. And one is a morning person and the other is a dragon till noon. Moral of the story is, dad get off my back about mornings lol.
21.01.2022 So I notice so many things the boys do that I did when I was little that were unique to me and It's so special when I first see them doing it, like when Cruz screws up his nose without realizing he is doing it. I wonder how many things the boys do that Dwayne did that are uniquely him, I can guess, but I obviously didnt know Dwayne as a kid. I only knew him for such a short time and I've nearly run out of things to tell them about him. Wish we had more people around that kn...ew him better than and longer than I did to tell the boys are the stories they had. Better yet I wish they just knew him themselves. Four years ago tomorrow you decided to leave but four years ago today we had our first and only day out as a family. Just mum, dad, Cruz and Cash. We didn't argue. We laughed and played sideshows and pushed the massive twin pram around a fair down at the beach. Like I tell everyone, I wasn't surprised you did it; I was just surprised you did it then. There were no arguments or crying or sadness... I guess you always endeavored to be a man of mystery. You egg. Not much of what you did made sense so I guess this was never going to either.
21.01.2022 You would be 40 years old today and, although your grey hairs told a different story, you never looked or acted a day over 30. Life would be so different if you were here today. How it should be but not how it is. We all miss you old man.
20.01.2022 Sorry I haven't posted much, life has been busy. Really really busy. Anyway, I need some reassurance. This morning while we were all getting ready for the day, I was preparing breakfast and the kids were in the shower they made the fateful decision to tip all of my expensive purple shampoo down the drain, and with it my last strands of sanity. It may seem insignificant to those of you with more that a couple hundred to live off each fortnight but to me that's like breakin...g a fridge. It's no secret we STRUUUUGGLE. Dwayne didn't exactly leave us a fortune, well a small fortune of debts... but my poor children who probably didn't really put much thought into what they were doing copped a lot of pent up rage that I had been holding on to. I went, for lack of a better term, completely fucking nuts. Their birthday is a measly 10 days before Christmas. I've taken up working a couple hours a week to be able to afford food but we barely scrape by.. and that shampoo was one of the few luxuries I had saved up and got for myself. So they really really copped it. They are young but they are smart and I expect more from them. It hurt me probably more than it should of. It was more than shampoo though, it was what I'm worth. Just down the drain. Can't get it back. And now, after dropping them to daycare, I'm sat here feeling so guilty. I just want to go hug them... I also kinda want to ship them to china to work in a factory to earn back the money to buy my shampoo, but mostly I want to hug them. They cried and I just yelled and yelled. God I feel like a piece of... This isn't fair, I should be allowed to be angry without feeling bad... shouldn't I?
20.01.2022 I can't even look at the pictures of those 3 beautiful angels and their beautiful mother and I sure as hell can't look at those photos with a fucking monster photo bombing them. I can't read the headlines, especially those that use the word 'father' too loosely to describe that thing. And I certainly can't keep letting myself imagine what their final moments were like, what they were thinking, what they seen, how they would have they would have felt, likely begging for thei...r mother and begging their 'father' to stop. I need to stop because my heart starts to race. There is no other reasonable way to describe this situation than a pure act of evil. I don't want to hear about the statuses he posted wishing them goodnight, or the photos of them all together where he looks like a decent person. Get the transcripts of his messages to her, publish them. Speak to her family and get all of their accounts of the situation leading up to it. Get all of those details and publish the fuck out of them so we can all start to recognize this disgusting toxic behavior and start rescuing our loved ones before another situation like this happens. So that the police take it seriously. So that an AVO isn't just a piece of paper. So that we stop seeing this as a hurt and desperate father who wasn't in his right mind and start seeing it for the evil bullshit it is. I know sometimes it's incredibly unfair for fathers, I know a lot of men who have fought tremendously for their children but not one of them has once thought that using violence, intimidation or killing his fucking kids was the answer. I don't care how minor the hints of sympathy are for him I want to hear NONE OF IT. You are a monster, rest in shit. Finally your family have the distance from you that they deserve while they are in heaven and you rot in hell. If you're worried about a friend or loved one fight for them now. Don't use the excuse that it isn't your place. It is your place, because if not you might find you're place at their funeral. My love and thoughts to their loved ones.
19.01.2022 Well it's nearly Christmas and this year has again been a challenging one but I haven't got cancer or lost a leg sooo... I think this year was a draw in the Amy Savage vs Life game. I'm winning next year though. Anyway if you need something to get you in the Christmas spirit watch this video of me gifting Cruz a potato. If this isn't your cup of tea wait till I gift cash a half used tissue box tomorrow morning. That's going to be WAY more eventful. Merry Christmas and if you don't celebrate Christmas then happy day off xxx
18.01.2022 I really want to pace the introduction of technology into the boys lives, like I have really held off giving them tablets and will continue to do so. But some days while they are at daycare I get this urge to call them, just chat and see how their day is going but then I remember they are 3 and don't have phones... which makes me want to give them phones...
18.01.2022 Well I haven't posted in a while. Life is just mind numbingly perpetually shit. Better me than someone else though.
17.01.2022 I've got some advice. If you attend a rugby grand final with two loud, restless and sometimes particularly naughty 3 year olds do not sit directly next to the commentary for the live stream. We have had several reports back from people who were watching at home that they could hear us loud and clear... yep, they could hear me cheering, hear Cash screaming and Cruz laughing, they heard the boys ask for donuts on several occasions and they could hear me telling my unruly kids... I would put them in the boot if they didn't stop. *face palm* (Disclaimer I'd never actually do it, I just imagine it a lot) Thats going to be one interesting live stream to watch later!
15.01.2022 So before I had kids, and even after up until about the age of two, I had this notion that my creative brain would be able to tackle any parenting problem that was thrown my way. Together me and my brain would get around anything thrown at us and would go on to raise happy healthy little people... But HOLY CRAP, there was no way I could ever have predicted what was coming in the form of my spectacular little Cash. Wow, what a guy! He is truly something else... We deal with a...t least 5 costume changes a day, it will be 9pm on a Tuesday and he will decide that we need to go to a party and if we don't then all hell breaks lose. On the way home from daycare he will suddenly declare he is under no circumstances going home. He makes "swimming pools" in the cup holders on our couch, and he makes couches out of my clean washing. He'll start making his own scrambled eggs if I'm not quick enough getting up to make him breakfast (yes, he will start cracking eggs into a bowl with varying levels of success). And tonight he managed to flood the bathroom. But boy he is so smart, like out of this world smart and he will plant a kiss on you at the perfect moment right before you are about to explode due to one of his antics... NOTHING prepared me for this human. Nothing! The world is not ready for him. Plz send halp lol See more
15.01.2022 Friday was valentines day and the fact that I'll probably never celebrate one again was slightly less soul crushing because I got to watch two amazing people say "I do". I got dressed up and left the house in something other than tights and adidas sneakers, remarkable considering how incredibly self conscious after gaining an extra 30kg. Yes 30kg. Literally three lots of 10kgs heavier. Anyway. I wore heals all night and if you're a heavier girl you'll know how much that can ...hurt. Not to mention I ripped a damn hole in the dancefloor. Anyway, my back is out. Really badly. My tight budget means that I have to substitute a chiro appointment with hot baths and a couple panadols. My boobies at least weigh 10 kg each so add a night of dancing in heals and you have a recipe for backsaster. Bedtime couldn't come fast enough tonight, I just want to lay down and not move for an hour before having to sort out everything for tomorrow. And of course it's tonight that Cruz is extra clingy and sooky. I feel like an absolute bitch for turning him away for cuddles and I prey he doesn't grow up resenting me for it, but I need to do whatever I can to fix this back so our house keeps functioning. Nights like this leave me feeling horrible and hard done by. My boys deserve a second parent to give the cuddles I can't... or to grab the wheel and steer the ship so I don't always have to. At least I get the whole bed to myself each night, hey?!
15.01.2022 I am absolutely 10000% not someone who buys into hype or hysteria. Ebola, swine flu, SARS and even my own cancer came and passed without me so much as batting eyelid at it. But, right now I'm doing some serious thinking. I'm doing some risk management that doesn't include going bonkers and buying all the toilet paper. I've moved the boys swimming lessons to the least busy day at the centre, I'm probably going to pull them out of daycare and just keep them in kindy, I've got h...and sanitizer for my car and home (lucky I already had some because I've heard it's very scarce), all my shopping is done online now, I'm searching for a really good face mask to have in case I need to be in public and I am going to avoid crowds at all costs because although I know the media is certainly hyping this alot, the reality is I'm in that small percentage of people who are at the most risk. I'm with the elderly, and those who have been sick and are sick, those with weak lungs... and it's actually scary. I have such a weak immune system and even more concerning is that while I was doing chemo it was a lung infection that had me the closest to death... I'll have to do things a bit different for a while. I'm not 'that person' but I am that person. See more
13.01.2022 My opinion on Quaden Bayles, whether you've asked for it or not- here it is. I haven't actually looked on his Instagram myself but as I am sure everyones newsfeed has been saturated with news articles that have screen grabs of photos he has posted, mine certainly has too. They actually looked very familiar. Why? Because they have a very similar tone as my own sons Instagram (yes Cash and Cruz have an Instagram). Same poses, same brands, same theme of making our children appe...ar ironically older than they obviously are. You can have a look for yourself @cashandcruziconic to see what I am talking about. My kids pose with nike satchels, sunglasses, caps, adidas get ups and they stare down at that camera lense like they are 20 years old because that is what I instruct them to do. As soon as the photo is taken they strip off and run back into the yard to bounce on the trampoline and play with the chickens. Why do I do this? Because their is a market for it. Quaden is identifiably special and unique because he is an indigenous boy with dwarfism (I'm sure other things make him special and unique but as I don't know him personally I couldn't list them) and my sons are two very different looking but photogenic twin boys that I dress the same. If you put a 'normal' kid, and I use that term so lightly, in the same age defying outfits as myself and Quadens mother does they are not half as eye catching. Add that style to something a little different and you suddenly have first two ingredients for a larger following. And with a larger following comes opportunity. Whether you like it or not that's just reality now. Quadens mum would have dealt with so many hardships already because her son was born with dwarfism, it goes without saying too, that she probably would have already had the very unfair pregidous to overcome as they are indigenous too. And the same but to a very lesser degree is my situation, two nappies to change, two bottles to make, to babies to settle as new borns to get where we are today. You don't see that on these instagrams but you take note of it subconsciously because that is why we love that level of style on someone who should otherwise not have time or energy to pull it off. She turned this hardship into an opportunity and it has clearly worked when you consider his following. And they should not be persecuted for it. Good on them, he looks cool as hell (I'd love to get some of his hand me downs for the boys haha). Bullying is so wrong and this is how it all started but look here so many of you are, doing the exact thing that you so passionately went against in the first place. Brand names don't always mean money, it certainly doesn't in our case (a lot of strict instructions around Christmas and birthdays are what get my kids the nice clothes) so we shouldn't assume based on an Instagram whether these people have scammed us. I could be wrong, but that rarely happens. So I think ya'll just need to calm down for a hot second. See more
12.01.2022 God dammit! I just wanting to start writing this book. For whatever reason I avoided the idea for so long. I'm not even sure why? Probably because everyone told me to for so long, and I'll be damned if I'm going to do what I'm told (if my dad is reading this he would be nodding his head profusely believe me). I never wanted to but I had a bit of a epiphany the other day and realised that if I ever want my life to advance to these great mythical heights I dream of I have to ut...ilize what talents I've been gifted with, and apparently I'm not too bad a this whole writing thing. I have plans, I have motivation and I have momentum... *cartoon me catapults off a cliff* But I don't have a laptop and the NILs loan place will not be taking anymore applications till the new year, dammit. Story of my life though, I really don't expect anything less. Either way though it's happening. I'm going to, for probably the first time in my life, do what I am told and write a book. I promise to do my absolute best to make it a book you can't put down if you promise to buy it and read it. I'm excited, I rarely get excited about anything to do with my life because, well... you know... it has been nothing less than a fiery tragedy so far. Once again, any advice or question or comments welcome. What would you want it to include? #plzsendhelp lol
12.01.2022 It may be midnight on a Saturday and I'm almost deliriously tired from doing kids parties today and absolutely sick of being absolutely dirt poor but I'm pretty sure I'm finally ready for someone to arrange marry me with a rich man...
10.01.2022 This is my stinky little brother ladies and gentlemen. I have to share with you all because I am so proud even if she is leaving me for Melbourne (I mean seriously how dare she?!) Haha love you Taytay Tyler Jen
10.01.2022 Incoming rant- If you enter into a relationship with someone that already has children you should never ever stop or hinder a relationship between them and their children. In fact, I think you should actively encourage them to see their kids-regardless of any insecurities you may have. Imagine one day you have kids with them and then break up, you would want any new partner they had to be fair to your kids wouldn't you? So do the same. Make space in your life, in your hous...e and in your heart for any children that come with your partner. Don't be a shit tit. See more
10.01.2022 My kids were FERAL today with a capital F. Once every 10 or days all hell breaks lose and no amount of super nanny parenting can change it on days like today. Unfortunately these days always fall on days that we have plans, the type we can't bail on. I knew from the very moment we woke up despite my long morning cuddles, whispering to them how much I loved them. Every little thing that happened warranted a full on break down. We had breakfast with my sister and even the hou...r and a half break she gave me to get ready wasn't enough down time to prepare me for the absolute onslaught of fiery hell they had planned. A birthday party with sugar and plenty of reasons to argue as my two very impatient twins had to wait for balloon animals. Two ninja turtles later and we had to leave early again, people asked me how do I do it and I told them with many mental breakdowns. I laughed so they probably thought I was joking, I wasn't. They cried and I screamed the whole way home. After a quick stop at the deli that charges literally 4x the price of things than Coles but to avoid the masses of Saturday shoppers I was home and asleep with Ryan's toy review supervising my finally quiet demons... I mean children... leaving them with some doritos and soda water for nutrition because I wasn't doing an entire food shop at the IGAaaaywhyyousoexpensive. This probably sounds like the worst parenting story of all time but this is the reality of our situation. I still get tired. I can't handle much, my family constantly remind me not to 'burn out'. I don't have a partner to take over when my wheels start to fall off. I live alone with my boys, they are only 3 but honestly have to hold down the fort like a pair of 7 year olds sometimes. I feel terrible but we have no other choice. I just have to go to bed and pray that this doesn't mess them up. We show up to all the kids parties and dinners and everything we are invited to but we always leave quickly. I guess it's our way of making it work. And now as I sit here with the start of a miagrane in my filthy house, trying to scrub face paint of their face (seriously though why is it that crying removes so much but hot soapy water seemingly does nothing) I look at my two beautiful little sparkly happy funny humans and hope to God that they remember the 'I love you's and the morning cuddles more than the 'please dear God stop crying at everything's and the punching my stearing wheel as we pull into the driveway.
09.01.2022 I have to rant and my friends on my personal Facebook are probably sick to death of my Corona Virus statuses but this needs to be said. A good friend of mine called me the other day, she is still working at a car dealership and they have been reduced to skeleton staff but she happens to be the backbone of that place. She told me about how unconcerned people are by this pandemic. And it horrified me. First there was one unfriendly lady who came in, spent a good ten minutes ye...lling unnecessarily at staff over something trival and then announced that she had been working at a damn hospital all day (not a doctor or a nurse but definitely amongst it all). She had neither a mask, gloves or any concept of how much danger she was putting every one in for something absolutely not essential. AND THEN ON THE SAME DAY a more friendly lady came in, for again not something essential, who told my friend she had been sent home from work because she is exhibiting symptoms of the virus and is awaiting her results. Seriously??!?!?!?!?!?!! People please!! I was told this virus affects your lungs but I am beginning to think it has had a much more devastating impact on our brains. This is so serious, and it's not even that hard. We just have to stay home! As much as you can just stay home. If you can't do that then you really need to have a good long look in the mirror... the one at home.
08.01.2022 Where can I donate kids clothes that will go to bushfire victims? In no position to donate money but I got a lot of barely worn/brand new clothes I can help with.
08.01.2022 Really have to stop writing 'lol haha' after telling people about Dwayne dying 4 weeks after the twins were born and then being diagnosed with cancer a year later...
08.01.2022 I'm not usually one to post at 4am because well basically I'm not on crack, but I woke up about 20minutes ago from a very odd dream and for whatever reason it has brought up some heavy emotions. Yesterday (15th) marked the fourth anniversary of when I met my two best friends/biggest pains in the ass. We did a party... I spent the entire day stressing in the heat, so I'm all sorts of exhausted now (emotionally, physically, mentally) and it used to be the case that when I woul...d feel like this my mind would instantly leap to suicidal thoughts, wrapped in a ball of irritationality. But I haven't. I'm not hear crying begging God or the universe to take my life or to just make it better like I have many times before. Yay go me. But those thoughts still exist. Now they just walk into my brain in an orderly fashion and line up with my other thoughts. It's no secret my life just sucks a bit harder than most others, and really it's unlikely to get any better. In fact, if we go by my track record, it's actually predicted to get worse. And when I start to consider the possibility of my heart still hurting for another 4 years the way it has the last 4, then those thoughts are there- waiting in line patiently for me to reach them. I don't cry but a tear and his friend might make a mad dash out of my eye when I realize it really is the only thing will absolutely guarantee I don't live through another 4 incredibly shit years. Also please don't tell me it gets better, for me that's a lie. I thought it would after struggling for an entire twin pregnancy only to find baby daddy dead four weeks after the duo arrived... knew it absolutely HAD to get better after that but nope lol. Cancer... It doesn't get better I just got used to it hurting and I got closer and closer with my little womb fruit. So now when I lay here, next to my baby and I'm thinking of ending my life as Dwayne once had, the thoughts are presented to me in a neatly folded package, they come with a list of pros and cons, I carefully consider each option and then continue on. Luckily my two little slices of heaven always make a stronger argument of why not to do it. And thus I am still here writing this status instead of writing a goodbye note. But it scares me to think that after so much trauma and tragedy my brain is so tired and my heart is so heavy that just one more thing could tip it over the edge. And no amount of counseling or mindful thinking or reading or whatever can change it because it's just reality and reality is I've lived a really crap life and it hurts. And hurting so much is exhausting. Got two amazing kids tho. They turned 4 yesterday. I've kept two humans alive for four years... and two humans have kept me alive for four years too.
06.01.2022 24 years ago on this day my family was diagnosed with my sister.
06.01.2022 The little wieners have ninja'd into my bed while I was watching TV. Looks like I'm bunking in the spare bed.
05.01.2022 I'm beginning to suspect God or whoever is running this joint has Parkinson's, because every time he goes to sprinkle a tiny little bit of fuckedupiddyness into my life he always slips and accidentally pours the entire bag in... Not only did I have both of my children's birthdays ten days before Christmas but every bill ever was due on like the 31st... whatever hey! I've been broke before. Infact I've actually been exclusively broke since as long as I can remember. After new... years Cruz developed great big puss weeping boil things that apparently started as mozzie bites, I scrounged together literally $8 to get the antibiotics and thought my troubles would be over for the day. BUT BOY WAS I WRONG, after journeying down to Gawler (for those of you not from Adelaide it's like a town 30 min out of Adelaide) only to discover my tires have stress fractures. I freaked the fuck out when I seen the first one, so imagine my reaction when I realized that 3 of my 4 tires were basically deformed. Good times. We swapped up the worst one and basically said a prayer to the rest. Made it home today but it's going to be an interesting few weeks until I can get them replaced. So if you see me on the side of the road with a flat tire, having a mental breakdown, you know why :) Good times See more
05.01.2022 I'm going to keep this one short but speaking from experience it takes so much more than just "r u ok". It's a start, yes, but don't just think you will work miracles by saying three words. Please before jumping on the bandwagon understand the depth of what r u ok is trying to achieve. On a similar but seperate note, I'm here if you need me. And to my friends if I notice that you need me, I'll be there without you having to reach out. Most of us aren't ok, and that's ok. It's just nicer to not be ok together...
04.01.2022 I've just got the boys into bed (I know 10.30pm #badmum, but really no one was hungry till LATE as the weather literally resembles hell at the moment) Anyway, each night I read them two books then they each tell me a made up story. Cruzs is always totally unique beautifully structured, a little funny and articulate and Cashie boy often retells one of the books I've just read or a new rendition of the story Cruz told us. See on paper Cruz ticks all of the boxes, he could talk... at 6 months and hold virtually adult conversations at two. He has just started very basic reading and sounding out words, only just turned 4. He is very emotionally mature and can read people and situations very well. He just is a very bright kid. Whereas Cash doesn't necessarily tick those same boxes, he is by no means slow but in the traditional sense he is not as advanced as Cruz. But this kid is frickin BRILLIANT. He will look at mundane objects scattered on a table and tell me "mum that's a car" then proceed to move two things and suddenly sitting there is a car made out of a pen, my mac highlighter and two used make up pads. He has been drawing actual people and things since he was 2 years old. The other day he found an old gun toy from a cheap shop he got ages ago. It could make noises but I could never get it to work with batteries. The kid literally searched the house for every type of battery we had then mixed double AAs with a triple A battery and got the damn thing to work. I have never even seen that happen and I sure as hell would have never thought of doing that. The kid is some type of genius I am so sure of it. But unfortunately they don't usually ask those questions when talking about how bright someone is. Goes for people too, just because traditionally you don't tick those boxes doesn't mean you're not completely brilliant. I know personally I compare myself to others HARDCORE. But I just need to look at the two little boys who have the exact same Gene's, exact same upbringing and are the exact same age to realize brilliance shows itself in different ways. See more
03.01.2022 I totally agree with and support the governments decision to put Australia in lock down, but I definitely question their motives when they shut down everything but refuse to shut down schools when kids are in closer contact with each other than generally anyone else is.
02.01.2022 So it's the end of the year, which in the grand scheme of things literally means nothing but as humans we do this funny thing called "time" and make an oddly huge deal about the earth completing a circle around the sun... Before our poor tortured planet makes another trip around the big ball of fire in the sky I will have written a book, studied and enriched my sons childhood as much as I can. Those are my main goals. Boy what a decade this has been! Jeez Louise! As much as... I've despised the shitshow of the last 10 years, right in the middle of it all I met the two most amazing people I've ever and will ever meet. So it really wasn't all bad. I'm not changing as a person this coming decade. You can all put money on me remaining the same loud, obnoxious darling that I've always been. I just plan on achieving a little more. Happy New Years and thank you to all of you have come along this ride with me. It means a lot. Now time for drunk Amy! Xxxx
02.01.2022 Ok, everyone has been saying it for A LONG ASS TIME but next year one of my main new years resolutions is to write a book. Any advice on how to go about getting it published is welcomed. Now that I've posted it here I have to stick to it, so make sure you all keep reminding me!
02.01.2022 I want to share a little clip with you all that has made me cackle so hard. They had a little dance performance. Cruz knew all the moves and rocked my damn socks off. And Cash... well just watch his face. ... Ah my darling boy haha
02.01.2022 When my kids should be in bed they turn into silent ninjas sneaking around the house... but when I want quiet time in walk fucking elephants!
