Lori Lim Women's Counsellor and Holistic Therapist in Willoughby, New South Wales | Alternative & holistic health service

Lori Lim Women's Counsellor and Holistic Therapist

Locality: Willoughby, New South Wales

Phone: +61 402 262 680

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• Medical and health
• Alternative & holistic health service

23.01.2022 The curious paradox is that, when I accept myself as I am, then I can change. Carl Rogers You might of heard of the therapy called ACT or acceptance and commitment therapy. Dr Russ Harris explains that we get caught up in the happiness trap , trying to hard to get rid of our unwanted feelings can ultimately make us more miserable. It’s like trying to swim upstream against a raging river . We often define ourselves by our negative emotions due to internalised beliefs that can make us feel worse. When we accept ourselves and remain curious about the wounded parts that we see as weaknesses we can begin to form self compassion and move towards healing and change .

16.01.2022 She’s so insecure You might have heard this said about you or you might have said it about someone else . You might have been referring to someone who needs excessive attention , creates unnecessary drama and needs constant validation. Let’s stop to think about that word insecure , the opposite feeling is secure which means to feel safe . In essence this person was never made to feel safe to be who they were , a false persona was made to protect them from rejection , hu...rt and abandonment. No one told this person they were worthy, loved and safe . This could have happened in childhood or as a result of relationships throughout their lives . Does this mean we allow someone to hurt us because they never felt safe? Absolutely not. But the awareness may help us understand their behaviour.

12.01.2022 But I was never hit. It wasn’t so bad, they meant well. I feel guilty for feeling sad . So many others had it worse than me. Any of these statements sound familiar ? We may minimise our emotional distress because our idea of what is considered traumatic and distressing is never as bad as someone else’s experience . ... A lot of people do not realise that trauma is an individual response to a distressing situation and many factors contribute to how we handle and adapt to these situations. Trauma is caused by major life threatening events and acts , but trauma may also occur in subtle ways that aren’t recognised by mainstream society but may affect us just as greatly . Your pain is valid , your story is unique and deserves to be heard and healed.

04.01.2022 In my life I’ve been both client and therapist , I’ve sat on both sides of the therapy couch. I know how hard it is to open up and be emotionally vulnerable to a therapist and what is has taken for my clients to trust me . What a lot of people don’t understand is it not merely the style of therapy that makes therapy effective but what the therapist as a person brings within the sacred space of the counselling relationship. ... Yes, it is important a therapist knows how to utilise interventions to help bring change for the client , but what is even more important is the dynamics between the therapist and the client , the trust and connection established. Many therapists believe a healthy amount of transference and attachment is necessary to facilitate safety and emotional holding , not unlike a newborn is held by its mother . Once a client can learn to feel safe within the counselling space they can internalise these adaptive patterns and begin to self-soothe , grow resilience and strength again. The therapeutic relationship therefore becomes the safe space for any unresolved wounds to be tended to. The therapist should act as a guide to facilitate empowerment. You are the expert of you and you are the expert on knowing which therapist feels right for you .

04.01.2022 Growing up in chaos wires our brains to be reactive , our perception of healthy intimacy becomes distorted to recognise intensity and chaos. We seek to heal unresolved attachment wounds in fixing others. As we enter into adult relationships we may mistake healthy secure partnerships as boring , missing a spark because the opportunity to trauma bond is not there . We may leave relationships that are safe , healthy and good for us seeking to highs of love addiction , codependency and trauma bonding instead . Recognising and becoming aware of the trauma brain and attachment trauma in our early childhood can help reveal these patterns that keeps us perpetually unsafe .

01.01.2022 Do you feel chronically numb and empty inside ? Constantly chasing thrills to get a high only to distract yourself from having to sit with in solitude ? Do you get irritated by soppy sentiment and romance ? ... Hate people getting too close to you in friendships or asking too many favours but at the same time hate being alone ? These could be the signs that you’re feeling emotionally disconnected within, the one thing you long for intimacy and close connection is the one thing you fear . Not being able to fully bring someone close to you is a defence. You not only feel disconnected from others but disconnected within , you avoid your feelings through distractions like workaholism , sex and love addictions, impulse spending , gambling etc . You can heal . The fear of opening your heart and reconnecting to yourself is not who you are it’s symptomatic to something that happened to you . It is the scar tissue on a wound you don’t want to mend . But in time with therapy and connecting with others you can start to heal.